by Kat Mizera
Impulsively, I called my dad. After watching Shannon struggle with her mom, I didn’t want to let any more distance come between my parents and me. We hadn’t talked in a long time and though I hadn’t even known who my father was until I was ten, since my mother had never told him she was pregnant, we’d gotten closer the older I got. My mother had died when I was seventeen so my stepmother had stepped into that role seamlessly. Well, as much as anyone could since I’d been shipped off to military school the year before.
“Ace?” Dad answered right away, surprise in his voice.
“Hey, Dad.”
“Where are you?”
“I’m in Georgetown. How are you?”
“I’m good. It’s been a while.”
“Yeah. I’m sorry about that.” I paused. “I mean it. I…well, I quit my job today.”
“You quit the…” Dad’s voice trailed off. He knew what I did for work and we never talked about it on the phone.
“Yeah. It’s a long story. I was thinking… Well, I was thinking maybe I’d come for a visit. Soon.”
“You’re always welcome.”
“Yeah, I know. I just didn’t know if you had plans for the holidays or…whatever.”
“We’re not going anywhere. When you know your plans, just shoot me a text.”
“Thanks, Dad. I appreciate it.”
We talked for another minute and then disconnected. That felt better than I’d thought it would. It wasn’t that anything was wrong between us, but I didn’t get to California often, and Dad and Brianna traveled a lot. I saw them maybe once every other year, which wasn’t much of a relationship. I played the role of lone wolf better than anyone I knew, and it was time to stop that.
“Excuse me. Is this seat taken?”
I turned at the sound of a soft female voice and froze.
Shannon.
What was she doing here?
“Well, hi.” I got to my feet and pressed a firm kiss right on her mouth. “What are you doing here?”
“Surprising you.”
I chuckled. “I’m definitely surprised.” I motioned to the chair across from me. “Hungry?”
“No.” She shook her head. “I wanted to, you know, talk.”
That didn’t sound good and the happiness I’d been feeling suddenly started to disperse, like a balloon with a tiny leak, the air releasing a little at a time.
We sat across from each other and she put her hands in mine, a sad but intense look on her face.
“What do we need to talk about?” I asked.
“Us.” She chewed her lip. “You came around a few times when I was a teenager, but you were older than me and I was way too scared to think about you romantically. I totally had a crush on you, though, and my dad teased me about it, but I was still a kid. When we met again, I didn’t know much about men but I knew you were special. There was something about you that made me feel things I didn’t understand. You set the bar so damn high I never met another man that lived up to your standard. Your looks, your bravery, your service to your country, and of course, the heart of a man who was so kind to a dorky, naïve college student.”
“Shannon, I—”
“Let me finish.” She squeezed my hands. “When you showed up in Cologne, once I got past thinking you were the stalker, you were even better than the fantasies I’d written about in my diary. You reminded me of everything I’d been waiting for, what I hoped I would someday find. But everything went way too fast. I know we were caught up in the danger, the intrigue, the memories, and eventually, the passion. But I don’t want to keep you from being who you are. You’re not cut out for a life in the suburbs, and that’s pretty much the life I lead. It would be selfish of me to ask you to give up what you love because of a childhood crush and some special moments intensified by the circumstances my mother set into play.”
I stared at her, narrowing my eyes slightly. “Shannon, I’m not sure what’s going on in that head of yours, but there seems to be a disconnect somewhere.”
“You don’t have to say these things,” she protested mildly. “My mother told me to come after you and let you know how I feel, but that wouldn’t be fair to you. So I’m here to tell you it’s okay—you don’t have to keep your promise to come back to me. I understand. Truly.”
Oh, for fuck’s sake. What was with this woman and her determination to do the opposite of what she wanted, even when she essentially had permission to do it?
“Honey, I think—”
“You don’t have to say anything.” She pressed two fingers to my lips. “I’m not upset.”
“You fucking better be,” I grunted, starting to get annoyed. “Because if you could just walk away from what we have, out of some misplaced sense of honor, we’re going to have a problem.”
Her eyes widened a little. “Wh-what are you talking about?”
“Well, let’s see. I just fucking quit my job because I’m falling in love with you and want to move to Cologne or Tahiti or wherever the hell else you want to go and make a life with you…and you just broke up with me. So I’m kind of pissed.”
She blinked. Once. Twice. And then a third time, swallowing hard as she stared at me. “You, um, quit your job?”
“Yeah. I did.” I had to work hard to keep a straight face as myriad emotions flitted across hers.
“And, um, you’re falling in love with me?”
“What did you think was happening? I made the mistake of telling your father I’d never stopped thinking about you and—”
“You did?” Her eyes rounded.
“About five years ago. But you were married and I was in the middle of some scary shit and it came out by accident when we ran into each other at the embassy in Tel Aviv. So he knew our encounter had been special, even though neither of us was in any place in life to do anything about it.”
“He never told me,” she whispered.
“He couldn’t. It would have been too hard to explain since he wasn’t supposed to be in Tel Aviv either.”
“I, um…don’t know what to say?”
I reached for her hand, both amused and exasperated. “Let’s head back to my parents’ townhouse and talk there.”
“Your parents have a townhouse here?”
“Yes.”
“Okay.” She was a little flushed. “I have a rental car.” She absently handed me the keys.
We drove to my place in relative silence, though her fingers twined with mine and didn’t let go. We hit traffic, though, so I explained about Sandra.
“She was investigating Amelie Pressman, the head mistress or whatever she’s called, at your school. She’s an American citizen but was apparently born in Iran, and there were questions about her being so close to the children of American diplomats and military personnel, who make up most of the roster.”
She nodded. “Yes, about seventy-five percent are the kids of diplomats or military.”
“Sandra was there getting close to her, but when you arrived, Mrs. Pressman seemed to love you and suddenly Sandra was no longer the favorite child. Personally, she didn’t give a shit, but professionally you made her job a lot harder.”
Shannon grimaced. “Yikes. I had no idea. I was just doing the best I could for the kids…”
“I know. And she knows that too, but you made her crazy. When your mom called her, she thought it would be fun to play along since it was all about matchmaking, but she wasn’t going to actually hurt you or anything. She asked me to tell you she was sorry for scaring you and making you think you might be nuts.”
“That’s nice of her.” She paused. “But I guess we’ve come full circle.”
“What do you mean?”
“Would you have come to me had I not been in trouble?”
I frowned. “Is this what’s been on your mind? Some crazy idea that I wouldn’t have wanted to see you again if you hadn’t needed me to save you from a stalker?”
She didn’t respond, merely looked away.
“Babe, I already an
swered that. I’d been thinking about you all along, I just never thought I could do anything about it and you were better off married to some lawyer in D.C.”
“Yeah, we see how that worked out for me.”
“I’m here now, Shannon. I quit my job. Partly for you and partly because I was offered a promotion I didn’t want, but—”
“A promotion?” Her head snapped up. “Why didn’t you want it?”
“Sitting behind a desk in D.C. isn’t for me. I don’t need to be in the thick of the danger anymore, but I also don’t want to work within the constraints of the system of our government anymore. I did my time. Let the younger generation take over now. I’m ready for the private sector. Or maybe no sector. Everything from now on depends on you.”
“On me?”
I’d just pulled into the driveway of the townhouse. I parked in the garage and then leaned over to kiss her. “Yes. You.”
“I’m feeling really stupid right now.”
“It’s been a couple of weeks of insanity. You get a pass. Come on.” I got her bag out of the back and led her into the house.
We settled on the couch and she moved into my arms without saying a word, burying her head in the crook of my neck and pretty much melting into me. I stroked her hair and let her relax. After a few minutes, I figured it was time to finish our talk.
“Why did you want to surprise me?”
She looked up and met my eyes. “Ten years, seven months and nineteen days. It had been way too long to do anything over the phone.”
“I will second that sentiment.”
“I came because no matter what we decided, I needed to see you. Because I’m falling in love with you too and I needed to either let you go be who you are or make things right between us.”
“You have no idea how much I love hearing that, but I already told you: I’m not going anywhere. I don’t know where you got the idea that I would.”
“I had to give you the option to go or you might never really be mine,” she whispered on a jagged breath.
I moved in to kiss her, my mouth finding hers possessively. The fact that she’d been willing to let me go if I wanted to leave again, without any guilt, meant something. Hell, it meant everything. I wanted this woman more than anything, in every way imaginable. Now more than ever.
“Ace!” She let out a little squeal as I practically ripped off her T-shirt and bra, pressing my face between her breasts.
“Have to feel you,” I breathed. “Taste you. Naked.” I tugged at her jeans and she lifted her hips so I could get them off. Her panties came next and when she was nude, I dropped over the side of the couch, positioning myself between her legs.
“Ace.” Her eyes were wide but filled with desire as I looked up at her. “Your shirt,” she whispered. “Take it off. Please.”
I yanked it over my head, taking a few buttons with it since it wasn’t a pullover, and sighed as she splayed her hands across my chest. The sizzle between us was electric and while I was dying to bury my face between her gorgeous thighs, she wasn’t having it. She tugged me across her chest and found my mouth again, her lips like silken dessert, so soft and sweet against mine.
We kissed heatedly, our bodies tight together, hands exploring almost frantically, somehow reflecting our need to re-establish the bond between us. I felt her wetness against my hand and fumbled to unzip my jeans. I didn’t even get them down before she was reaching for me, stroking me, guiding me inside of her. She felt so damn good I was having a hard time staying in control, so close to getting off I had to grasp her hips to keep her from moving.
“You and me, baby, this thing between us is intense and I need to hear you say you want me.”
“I want you.” Her voice was a little breathy.
“Say it again.” I started to move again, slowly at first, needing to draw this out.
“I…w-want…y-you.”
There. She was starting to lose a little control too. I thrust in deep. “No one has ever made me feel like this.” I eased out. “Ten fucking years.” I picked up speed.
“S-seven m-months,” she gasped as I angled my hips, aiming for her G-spot.
“Nineteen days.” I slammed into her so hard the couch moved a little, but neither of us noticed because she was screaming my name, her back coming up off the cushions and her fingernails digging into my shoulders. I kissed her like a man possessed, each pull of her tongue matching the rhythm of my cock as it exploded inside of her.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Shannon
What the hell had just happened? I was still shuddering a little as I came down from the most intense orgasm of my life. I couldn’t move, my muscles were so weak, but Ace was holding me, his warm, sweaty body against mine. That had been quick, but so intense I couldn’t catch my breath.
“I love watching you come,” he whispered against my ear, nuzzling my neck.
“I love you making me come,” I whispered back.
“I like that too.” He slowly pulled out and I whimpered at the emptiness.
“Easy, I’m right here.” He lifted me in his arms and carried me to the bedroom. He hadn’t made the bed the night before, so we slid between the messy bedding, our bodies still intertwined.
“Don’t leave me,” I whispered.
“I’m not.”
“Will you come back to Cologne with me?” I murmured sleepily.
“For Christmas?” he asked in confusion.
“No, after Christmas.”
“Anywhere you want.”
“I like that.” I nestled deeper into his arms, breathing him in.
I must have dozed off because the next time I opened my eyes it was dark in the bedroom and Ace was asleep too. Neither of us had moved, which was weird for us, but our need for each other was almost tangible.
“I have to go to the bathroom,” I whispered, knowing he would hear me even in his sleep.
He smiled, though he didn’t open his eyes, releasing me from his firm grip.
I stumbled into the bathroom and cleaned up, taking a minute to wash my face because my makeup had smudged. When I walked back into the bedroom, he was waiting for me and held out his arms. I crawled into them, resting against him once again. It seemed to be my favorite place lately and it was a good thing he was as content to hold me as I was to be in his arms.
“I have a question,” he said as we got comfortable.
“Okay.”
“You’ve mentioned more than once how much you want kids. How long were you married?”
“Legally, almost five years. Living together, a little less than four.”
“So how come you never got pregnant if that was your biggest motivation for marrying him?”
I sighed. “Douglas was a real piece of work. He had no desire for kids and had a vasectomy before we even met. He didn’t tell me that, of course, so he let me go three years thinking something was wrong with me.”
“Are you kidding me?” He lifted my chin and pressed a chaste kiss on the tip of my nose. “Can I punch him in the nose? Just once?”
I chuckled. “If you want. No skin off my teeth.”
“Asshole.” He held me tighter. “I’ve never had a vasectomy,” he said after a moment.
I smiled. “Good to know.”
“You, uh, feel strongly about your IUD?”
I gazed up at him curiously. “We’ve been together two weeks and you’re ready to make babies?”
“It’s come up enough times, just in general conversation, for me to know it’s important to you, and if it’s important to you, it’s important to me.”
I swallowed hard, tears stinging my eyelids. I’d been crying a lot lately, but it was good to purge all these feelings because Ace made me believe everything was going to be okay.
“Would you do me a favor?” I asked quietly.
“Of course.”
“Would you get my purse from the living room?”
“Sure.” He untangled my arms and padded into the living room
, giving me a glimpse of his gloriously hard and sexy backside. Damn, I loved looking at his body.
He came back with my bag and handed it to me as he got back into bed, settling with his arms around me and some pillows propped behind us.
I dug my father’s letter out and held it up.
“Your father’s letter,” he said softly.
I nodded.
“We’re supposed to read it together.”
I met his eyes. “You think now?”
“Have you forgiven your mom?”
“We’re going to go back to therapy, via Skype, with the counselor we used before. I’m on the road to forgiving her because she’s the only mom I have and Dad would be so upset if I cut her out of my life. She’s a pain in the ass, but she’s my mom. You know?”
“I get that.” He kissed me.
My hands shook a little as I pulled the letter out of the envelope. “I don’t know what this says, but Mom said even if I never spoke to her again, to make sure we read this together. And that’s definitely my dad’s handwriting on the front.”
“Then we should read it,” he said gently.
“Okay.” I unfolded two sheets of paper with handwriting on them. I cleared my throat and held it out in front of me as I started to read out loud:
My darling Shannon and Ace,
If you’re reading this, my dying wish has come true and that makes me happier than you’ll ever know. Please don’t be angry with your mother. I asked her to do it, to make this happen between you because I ran out of time.
Shannon, I had no idea that night, when I re-introduced you and Ace at the charity dinner, that it would make such a lasting impression on you. But watching you struggle to find a man like Ace, who was worthy of you, broke my heart. I knew your husband was going to hurt you, but you wanted children and your mother made me believe that if we just left the two of you to work things out, it would happen. For that, I apologize. I love your mother, but I shouldn’t have listened to her. Not then.
Ace, I knew who and what you were, so I couldn’t reach out, but I hoped you’d come home ready to settle down. I was afraid you might not, though, and now that I’m near the end, I’ve told Samantha not to wait too long, that you and Shannon need each other. I’ve followed your career, and I saw the writing on the wall, your frustration as agency politics started to interfere with the missions, the job. I hope, now that you and Shannon have found each other again, that you’re going to do the right thing, both for you and for her. I want grandchildren, and even though I won’t be there to see them grow up, I’ll be watching.