by Rae Knightly
Some of Ben’s tension ebbed away. Mentioning panic attacks had been the appropriate comment. His teacher obviously believed he was feeling shy about speaking in front of the class.
“Yeah, I used to have panic attacks,” he admitted, glad to have found a safe subject and thinking she’d move on to the next student.
Instead, she said, “Really?”
Ben wrung his hands together under the table.
“You said used to. Does that mean you don’t get them anymore?" she asked with genuine interest. She must have noticed his discomfort, because she added, “I’m sorry. I don’t even know how we came to this theme. We’re way off subject! Sneaky kids!” She wagged an accusing, yet playful finger at the class. “It just struck me that you named a fear that you don't seem to suffer from anymore. I was hoping you’d share how you did that with us…if you feel up to it, that is?”
Ben swallowed.
He realized he had expected most people to show indifference to his presence. Instead, it was the complete opposite in this classroom.
And then there was the panic attack thing. Ben hadn’t really given it any thought, but the truth was that he hadn’t had one in a long while. Had he really gotten rid of them?
Everyone waited for him to answer, so he cleared his throat. “Actually, I think it’s thanks to Mes…hum…my dad. When he’s around, I feel safe. I guess he’s helped me put things into perspective.”
Ben listened to his own words in amazement. Did Mesmo really have that effect on him? He had to admit, he always felt safer when the alien was around. Mesmo made his fears seem less overwhelming.
“Thank you for sharing, Ben,” Ms. Evans smiled encouragingly. “Putting things into perspective is an excellent way to face your fears. I mean, seriously, how many of us are scared of spiders?”
Several hands went up in the air, including Ms. Evans’.
“Now think how big you are compared to a tiny spider,” she continued. “You could step on it without a second thought. It should be more afraid of you than you are of it! You see, when you truly understand the thing that you fear, you'll be able to put it into perspective, and you’ll realize that maybe your fear is unfounded.”
Ben tried to picture Bordock as a tiny spider. It didn’t work.
Ms. Evans rubbed her hands together. “Anyway, let’s get back to our Declaration. We’re talking about much bigger things than spiders. We’re talking about protecting the whole of humanity against serious threats such as war, loss of life, loss of freedom, slavery, etc. Pretty fearsome things, I would say.” She picked up a copy of the Declaration. “Let’s read article twenty-six.”
Ben sagged back into his chair, his mind buzzing.
CHAPTER FOUR
Kimimela
Not long after, the school bell rang. Ben jumped as several chairs screeched back, releasing students from their desks. He realized almost everyone had been paying close attention to the time and had slowly been feeding their backpacks so that, as soon as the bell chimed, they were ready to dart out of class.
Pull yourself together!
His first day back at school had been more of a roller-coaster ride than he had expected.
“Are you taking the bus?” Max asked.
Ben looked up in surprise. “Huh? Oh, yes. I’m taking the twenty-five.”
Max heaved his backpack over his shoulder. “Yeah, most of us are. I can show you where it is.”
Tike.
“Oh, hum, that’s ok. I need to sort out a couple of things before I leave.”
“Oh, ‘kay. See you, then,” Max said, sounding disappointed.
“I’ll catch up with you,” Ben offered.
Max’s face brightened. “’kay.” He waved shyly and headed out.
By the time Ben left the classroom, most of his companions had gone. He grumbled inwardly when he remembered he had to put on all his winter gear again. While he struggled with his boots, he saw Kimi leaning her right foot against a low shoe-cabinet, tying the laces of army boots. Observing her curiously out of the corner of his eye, he noticed that everything about her was black: boots, jeans, a knee-length jacket, long side bangs and beany hat.
What a gloomy girl.
He cleared his throat. “That was a pretty deep thing you said–you know–about fearing abandonment?” he ventured.
Her head shot up, and her black eyes pierced him accusingly. “Yeah! Look who's talking. The boy with the super dad. Aren’t you lucky?” she snapped.
Before he could react, she placed her heavy boot on the floor and stomped off.
Ben stared at her with his mouth open.
What’s up with her?
He shook his head in disbelief. At least that reaction was closer to what he had been expecting all day, so it didn’t bother him too much. He wrapped his scarf around his neck, then followed the girl from a safe distance. He slipped to the side of the school where he had left Tike. His dog peeked at him from behind a wall, then rushed out to greet him. Ben knelt to rub his back.
“Hey there! What’s that?” A voice burst out from behind him.
Ben whirled around to find a man in a basic coverall staring at him.
“Is that your dog?” the man asked.
Ben swallowed. It was no use denying it. “Yes,” he said, looking at the ground. To his surprise, the man bent to scratch Tike behind the ears.
“Hi, you! What's your name?” he said in a friendly voice. The dog grinned.
“His name is Tike,” Ben offered.
“You’re a good dog, aren’t you?” the man said to the terrier.
Ben watched curiously.
The man stood, then offered his hand.
“I’m Joe, the school caretaker,” he said.
“Ben Anderson,” Ben answered, shaking the man’s hand. “I’m new,” he added as an afterthought as if that excused his dog being there.
“Well, Ben Anderson, I take it you know animals aren’t allowed on the school grounds?”
Ben looked at his feet. He couldn’t picture a day without Tike nearby.
Joe pursed his lips. “Come, I think I may have a solution.” He gestured for Ben to follow him until they reached a utility door with a sign that read FURNACE ROOM. Joe opened it to reveal humming machines inside. A whiff of warm air escaped the room. “This isn’t exactly ideal, but you could leave Tike here while you’re in class. I can check up on him and give him a couple of breaks outside during the day. I don’t mind. I have dogs of my own. And you can pick him up here. Just make sure you don’t forget him, ‘cause I lock up the school at 6 pm.”
Ben grinned, unable to believe his luck. “Thanks!” he said earnestly.
This is perfect!
“That’s it, then. Off you go. If you hurry, you might catch the bus.” Joe ushered him out.
Ben waved, then he and Tike sprinted across the playground. He could see busses filling up with school children. Max’s red backpack stood out in the crowd. Ben headed in the same direction and made it just as the last students settled into their seats.
The back of the bus was rowdy. Tyler and Wes occupied the back seats, talking loudly. Max sat a few rows forward. The curly-haired boy waved and slid over into the empty seat by the window.
“I saved you a spot,” Max said, fishing a big bag of cookies from the open backpack on his lap.
“Thanks!” Ben spoke out of breath as the bus departed. Tike jumped onto his lap.
“Whoa!” Max exclaimed, hugging his cookies.
Ben laughed. “Don’t worry. Tike won’t eat them.” He scratched Tike’s ears, noticing the forlorn look the dog was giving him.
Max shrugged and dug into the bag. “Wan’ one?” he asked Ben while he stuffed his mouth.
Ben helped himself to a cookie and made sure some crumbs fell onto his lap as he bit into it. Tike was quick to notice. As he chatted with Max, Ben spotted a person dressed in black on the sidewalk. A blast of cold air hit him in the neck.
“Hey, Kimimela!” Tyler shou
ted out the back window. “My monsters won’t abandon you. You want them?”
Ben whirled and caught Kimi making an obscene gesture at Tyler. Wes cried with laughter.
“Shut up, Tyler!” Ben yelled. The words were out of his mouth before he realized it.
Tyler pulled his head away from the window, startled. His face flushed, but not with anger. He shrugged sheepishly and closed the window, then flopped down next to Wes, eyeing Ben with a touch of respect. The noise in the bus died down a bit.
Ben settled into his seat again, his arms crossed across his chest. Hearing one kid making fun of another made his blood boil. It wasn’t the girl’s fault if she was an outsider. He, for one, knew exactly how that felt.
Max hadn’t budged; he was still chomping away. He offered Ben the cookie bag. “Don’t mind her,” he said. “She wants to be alone.”
Ben considered this as he took a bite. “What did Tyler call her? I thought her name was Kimi?”
“Kimimela,” Max corrected.
“Kimimela? That’s a strange name. I’ve never heard it before.”
Max stuffed a cookie in his mouth. “Dats cuz’ it’s naydiv.”
Ben stopped munching. “Naydiv?”
Max swallowed hard. “No, dummy. Native, like, Native American. You know…?”
Ben stopped bringing the cookie to his mouth, his eyes widening in understanding. “Oh, I see. She’s First Nation, then.”
“Only half,” Max explained. “Her mom’s from the Dakhona Reservation. I don’t think she lives there anymore, though.” A boy sitting behind them tapped Max on the shoulder and asked for a cookie. Max turned to chat with him.
Ben stared out the window, lost in thought. He recognized a shop window and suddenly remembered he lived only three bus stops away from the school.
“I gotta go!” he said, picking up his backpack hurriedly. Tike slipped to the ground and caught the last of his cookie. “Bye.” He waved at Max.
The back of the bus erupted, “Bye, Ben!”
Ben grinned at Wes and Tyler as they shouted their goodbyes gleefully.
“See you tomorrow!” Wes yelled in a sing-song voice, waving his arm in the air like a ballerina. Just before reaching the door, Ben saw Tyler shove his friend into the window, so Wes’ arm hung limp above his head. “Aargh!” the boy groaned with heavy exaggeration.
Ben shook his head. Those two clowns were rowdy but harmless.
He hopped down the steps, almost walking straight into Mesmo as he landed on the snowy walkway. He straightened to take in the tall alien standing before him.
The doors slid closed and the bus took off in a roar.
“Hi,” Ben said through the sound of the motor.
“Hi,” Mesmo replied.
Ben ignored Wes and Tyler as they sped by with their faces plastered against the bus window, their mouths open in crazy grins and their noses flattened against the windowpane.
“New friends?” Mesmo asked.
Ben snorted. “Not really,” he said, then shrugged. “Maybe.”
Facing Mesmo always stirred inscrutable feelings deep inside of him. Chatting about simple things such as a school day seemed trivial when faced with a being from a distant planet who had crossed the universe in a spaceship that far surpassed any human technology. It always took Ben a couple of giddy seconds to accept this information before he felt comfortable enough to speak with the alien.
“Should you be here?” he asked finally.
Mesmo checked his surroundings, frowning. “Do I look out of place?”
Ben considered the alien man who was wearing jeans, a brown jacket and a curious fur hat with ear flaps. Aside from his height and one strand of white hair peeking out from under the hat, he fit quite well among humans.
“It’ll do,” Ben said. “At least your hat is appropriate for this climate.” He indicated the snowy city street. The few pedestrians wore different types of hats to fend off the cold. “I’m more worried that someone might step into you.” He reached out and passed his hand through Mesmo’s arm. He found it fascinating to observe the fabric of Mesmo’s clothes, the details of his hands, the tiny hairs of his fur hat. Everything looked completely solid. Yet–he knew–the man who apparently stood before him was not really there. Not physically anyway.
“I don’t remember calling you,” Ben pondered, checking that his silver wristwatch with the spirit portal was safely attached to his arm.
Mesmo gave him a small smile. “You don’t need to. Our bond is growing stronger. The portal is now always open to me. I can come and go as I please.”
Ben stared at the snow wondering whether he liked that piece of information or not.
“Let’s go,” he said, subdued.
They walked side by side towards Thomas’ house.
Footprints.
The word formed in Ben’s mind, making him glance back.
Tike stared at him, then sniffed at the snow.
“Oh!” Ben exclaimed. “You’re not leaving any footprints!” Both he and Mesmo observed the ground behind them. There was only one set of footprints in the snow and they belonged to Ben. He stared at the alien quizzically.
Mesmo smiled. “Well now, that is something I can remedy.” A soft glow appeared around his hands, and as he put one foot in front of the other, the snow under his feet melted.
Ben watched the patches of walkway appearing next to his own footprints.
Of course! Mesmo can manipulate water, and snow IS water!
He grinned and nodded approvingly. “Cool!”
CHAPTER FIVE
The Crow
The weeks would have gone by smoothly if it hadn’t been for what happened on a Tuesday morning.
Ben got used to catching up on homework, helping Max understand assignments and the three girlfriends–Alice, Joelle and Kimberly–making annoyed comments when Tyler and Wes cracked rude jokes in class. The gloomy girl, Kimi, brooded at the back of the class and avoided contact with anyone. But all in all, Ben was quite content going about his normal school activities with his friendly classmates.
The problem, however, didn't come from school. It came from an entirely unexpected source. And that source was Tike.
Never in a million years would Ben have thought that he’d have any kind of issue with his four-legged friend, but that Tuesday morning, something that he had refused to accept so far was thrust into the light.
He was running late and hurriedly finished lacing his snow boots to his feet.
Drats! I forgot my gloves upstairs!
He considered untying the boots again so he wouldn't dirty the carpet but then decided against it. He’d have to do without gloves that day. He zipped his jacket, thrust his backpack on his shoulder and shoved the key into the front door to lock it.
“Tike!” he called, realizing the dog was still inside.
His terrier zipped through the door to join him outside and wagged his tail enthusiastically. Ben’s gloves were clamped in his mouth.
Ben stiffened. Had he spoken aloud when he remembered his gloves? He was pretty sure he hadn't. He reached out to take the gloves from Tike’s mouth, but froze again. A blue halo of light surrounded his hand. He jumped back, staring at it in fright.
He heard the blood rushing to his ears, and his heart began to thump harder.
Thud-thud, thud-thud.
He shut his eyes tight and shook his head–as if that would rid him of a reality he refused to accept.
He already knew that Tike was trying to use the alien skill to communicate with him. He had suspected it for quite some time, but no matter how wonderful the idea seemed, he would not, could not, accept it, for accepting it meant opening up to the alien poison in his blood. It meant accepting that he was becoming an anomaly, a mutated being that was neither human nor alien. Hadn’t Inspector Hao glimpsed Ben’s true self when he had said, “I know what you are!”
Not who. But what.
He was turning into a thing.
“Hey, kiddo!
Time to go!” Thomas called from the driveway.
Ben held his glowing hands close to his body, nodding vaguely in Thomas’ direction. He noticed that Tike was no longer wagging his tail, but stared at him curiously. Ben found he could not stare back at his own dog. He concentrated on putting on his gloves, his brain fighting to shut Tike out, and in so doing, shut out the skill.
I have to ignore it.
That was his only remedy. If he ignored the skill’s existence, there was a chance it would weaken. Maybe it would even disappear altogether. The problem with that strategy was this: he would have to ignore Tike as well.
Ben didn’t think about it further until he picked up Tike after school. The sight of his dog brought the incident back to his mind and he found himself reluctant to look at Tike’s eyes. Instead, he said, “C’mon, let’s hurry, or we'll miss the bus.”
They left the school from the side door, but instead of heading for the bus stop, Tike suddenly darted away from Ben in the opposite direction.
“Tike!” Ben yelled. The terrier was already halfway across the football field, heading toward a row of trees.
“Tike! Come here!” Ben called again, annoyance creeping into his voice. He jogged after the dog, then slowed down when he realized a form was crouching in front of some bushes.
Ben frowned. “Tike?” he said more slowly.
The person’s head turned to face the dog, and Ben recognized the long side bangs as they slipped before the girl’s eyes. Kimi shoved the strand of hair behind her ear and made a gesture as if to block Tike from moving forward.
When she noticed Ben approaching, she threw him an angry glare. “Hey! Is that your dog?” she shouted. “Call him off!”
Ben reached her side. “It’s ok. He’s friendly,” he said reassuringly.
No need to overreact.
But she was no longer looking at him. Instead, Ben realized both the girl and his dog had spotted something low in the bushes. Branches rustled, revealing a black crow that cawed loudly, thrashing around wildly as it tried to free itself.