All that did was remind me how serious things were starting to feel with Ramsey. And I wasn’t sure if that was good or bad.
I put my phone down and sipped my afternoon coffee.
My eyes followed a stray leaf as it finally let go, one of the last few remaining. It danced to a silent song, twisting and turning until it came to its resting place on the ground.
My phone buzzed on the railing.
It was Ramsey.
Damn, darling. I’m sorry. Hope he’s feeling better soon. Let me know if you need anything.
The simple response almost brought tears to my eyes. A man who put Sam first and then made sure I was okay too.
Was that so hard to ask for in life?
It was right there, on the other side of the text message.
I just needed to go get it and never let it go.
It was around nine when Sam started to stir on the couch. At some point between five and seven he finally shut his eyes. He rolled over and faced the other way on the couch, which meant I was able to finally change the channel. His fever had been low grade and steady, so I had a little relief that whatever this was, it was just something going to pass in a day or two.
I hoped he’d feel better by morning and I could convince Keith to come get him. Then they could have at least one night together. And I could have a night with Ramsey. Although it really didn’t matter since Ramsey had met Sam. I still wasn’t sure on letting Ramsey come over whenever he felt like it. Or having him sleep over.
Sam was on his back and his eyes slowly opened.
“Hey, Samm-”
He let out a cry and grabbed his throat.
Shit.
I darted from the end of the couch to the floor, on my knees next to him.
“Hey, I’m right here,” I said. “Does your throat hurt?”
“Bad,” he said, tears already running down his cheeks.
Shit.
“Okay, take a breath. Let me check your…”
The second I touched his forehead, I just knew.
He was beyond burning up by then.
Shit.
I didn’t even bother checking his temperature right then.
“Where does it hurt?” I asked.
Sam clutched his entire throat and cried.
“Okay, Sammy, I need to look inside your mouth. Can I do that quick?”
He shook his head no which meant it would take me a while to coax him to sit up and let me shine the light from my phone into his mouth.
I was frustrated and almost sweating by the time I got him to put his head back and stick his tongue out. When he did, I gasped. I wished I hadn’t looked.
Shit.
I quickly stood up and looked for my keys.
I needed to get him to the hospital.
There was something very wrong and fever medicine and hot tea wasn’t going to do a thing to help him. And it was the weekend and his pediatrician wasn’t open until Monday. I was not going to let him sit on the couch in pain until then.
“Sammy, we have to go for a ride,” I said. “We’re going to see the doctor.”
The word doctor normally kicked up a wild tantrum of fear, but Sam looked right at me and nodded.
He was feeling it.
I touched my forehead, wondering if I should have done more earlier. I should have checked his throat when I picked him up.
I found my keys and scooped Sam up off the couch and carried him out to the car. His blanket in one hand, a dirty teddy bear in the other. His head on my shoulder. Walking in the dark, in the cold air, the crunch of leaves under my shoes.
My eyes filled with tears.
I was scared. And I had nobody with me.
I wrestled to get Sam into his booster seat and rushed around the car.
When I opened the door and sat down, I caught sight of the interior light. I put my key into the ignition and turned it as I remembered something… I never turned the light off from before when I got home. The car made a clicking sound and nothing happened.
Click, click, click…
“No, no, no, no, no,” I whispered.
I turned the key over and over, thinking that would do something.
Could a car battery die that quick? It had only been… eight hours? Maybe less?
I thought to over the summer when the battery died, and I had to have Brenda’s husband, Charlie, help me jump it. He said it was old and corroded and I needed a new one. I didn’t have any money hanging around, so I didn’t worry about it.
“Fuck,” I whispered under my breath.
“Mom, it hurts really bad,” Sam said.
My heart raced and shattered. My hands shook with anger and fear.
I felt like the worst fucking person in the world. A mother that couldn’t take care of her own son. He was in pain with a fever, sitting in a cold car on a cold night, in need of medical attention. And my car wouldn’t start.
I started to cry, but needed to pull myself together.
I needed someone.
There was only one person I could think of calling to help me.
20
A Memory Run
Ramsey
I had the plans rolled out on the dining room table and had been staring at them for hours. When I bought the house, Uncle Tom said he was disappointed in me for doing so. He said I was living my life backwards and he said he wouldn’t lift a finger to help me fix it up. Because it was a waste of my fucking time and what I planned on doing with it was a fucking joke.
I spent a week alone in the house without a piece of furniture inside. I had a lamp on the floor with no lampshade and I sat there drinking beer and whiskey, envisioning what the house could have been and what it should have been for me. Except I didn’t want it. And by fixing up the house, it was supposed to show me why I didn’t want it. It was supposed to give me all the reasons I couldn’t clearly explain.
When I finished the plans, Uncle Tom was a little calmer. Thanks to some serious coaxing by Aunt Millie, he apologized for what he said and told me he would help in any way he could.
I never touched the house after that.
It was livable but in need of a lot of work. Everything I did was merely patch work instead of fixing the actual problem.
For whatever reason, I dug the plans out and stared at them.
The large country style kitchen lead right into the formal dining room. I was going to take out the half wall and put up a pillar that matched the ones in the kitchen. Open the entire floor plan and let it flow. Add a couple of windows on the back wall of the den to brighten it up and let more sunlight shine through the first floor of the house.
It was the kind of house you’d want to raise a family in. Where you’d leave notches in the wall in the kitchen to measure everyone’s height.
I was wasting the house by living there.
The entire night had swallowed me up so much that I barely took two sips of a beer. Matt wanted to grab a drink at Shammy’s, but I wasn’t in the mood. I’d had enough of the guys for one week. Doc was in a pissed mood over a job. Chris and Ed were ready to fight over someone losing an expensive drill. Uncle Tom threatened to split the cost out of their paychecks, but I knew Aunt Millie would never let him do that.
Truthfully, I wanted to bring Jordyn over to the house and show her the plans. Just to get her thoughts on the place.
Why? You dreaming of that family again, Ramsey? You think you can have it now…? Just because you decide you want it today?
I shook the thought away and reached for my beer.
My phone started to ring, and it was Jordyn calling.
I skipped the beer for her.
“Hey, darling, how’s Sam?”
“Rams, I need you,” she said, her voice shattered like glass hitting the ground.
“Christ, what’s wrong?”
“My fucking car won’t start,” she yelled. “And something is wrong with Sam. He’s not just sick. He needs to go to the ER. And my fucking car…”
“I’m so sorry, Rams,” she said. “You shouldn’t be doing this for me.”
“It’s not just for you, darling,” I said.
I ended the call, realizing what I just said and implied.
I was doing this for Jordyn and Sam.
The one thing I left a woman at the alter for for wanting so badly.
“Why didn’t you take him back inside?” I asked as Jordyn opened her driver’s side door.
Her eyes were weary and her face in a panic.
Probably not the best question to ask.
She shook her head, looking back at her house as though she had forgotten she was there.
“Fuck it,” I whispered. “Come here.”
I pulled her close for a quick hug and then held her shoulders.
“Rams…”
“It’s going to be okay,” I said. “He’s going to be okay.”
“You need to know-”
“Get in my truck, darling.”
I broke away from her and moved around to the other side of the car.
I opened the door and looked down at Sam. “Hey, dude. Not feeling good?”
“No,” he said.
“Your mom’s car won’t start so you’re going to ride in my truck. Is that okay?”
“I guess,” Sam said. “Can you carry me?”
“Sure can,” I said.
I unbuckled the seatbelt and felt how hot the kid was. He was as sick as anything.
I scooped him up into my arms and pulled him out of the car. I took him to Jordyn in my truck and she held him, rocking him, as I went to get his booster seat. As I put the seat into the back seat of my truck, I swallowed hard, realizing the life I had stepped into. This was what Jordyn warned me about. She made it very clear to run like hell from it. And if she only knew about what I had done in the past and why, she’d be the one running like hell from me.
“Okay, let me get him buckled in,” I said.
I took Sam from her and got him into his seat.
There was this moment when he looked at me, dead in the eyes, and I knew it was maybe a moment to say something good to him. But I just froze up and stared for a few seconds before shutting the door.
When I got into the driver’s seat, I wasted no time in taking off.
Jordyn reached across the seat and took my hand. “Rams…”
“It’s fine,” I said. “I’m going to call my buddy Matt. I’ll have him come over and jump your car.”
“It needs a whole new battery. Brenda’s husband jumped it over the summer and told me how bad it was. I just… never did… I…”
“It’s okay,” I said. “We’ll get your car running and then get you a new battery. I’ll take care of it.”
“That’s not your job, Rams.”
I looked over at her. “Says who?”
Jordyn blinked fast but didn’t respond.
The rest of the ride was in silence. My eyes kept moving up to check the mirror, so I could see Sam’s reflection. To make sure he was okay.
He was.
His head was to the side, staring out the window. Looking sick and rundown from it.
I pulled into the parking lot of the emergency room and pulled up to the doors. I put on my emergency lights and hurried out of the truck to help Jordyn and Sam out.
“I’m going to park and I’ll be right in,” I said. “Tell them exactly what’s going on. His temperature and everything.”
“I know, Rams,” she said. She grabbed my hand and squeezed it. “Thank you.”
“I’ll be right there,” I said.
Back in my truck, I watched her carry Sam through the automatic doors.
I had to park what felt like a mile from the goddamn hospital. I ran through the lot like a marathon runner breaking a world record. My heart beating fast and my eyes looking left to right as I darted between cars. My mind flashed with images of Brian. Running for help because our father had started to choke on his own vomit from being so drunk. Brian trying to get to me. Thinking he could run to the restaurant. Not even thinking as he ran out into the middle of the road. And it didn’t fucking matter if the road was busy or not. All that mattered was if there was a car coming. And in Brian’s case, there was.
When I got to the doors, I was out of breath and angry.
I saw Jordyn sitting in a cheap-looking black chair, Sam curled up on her lap.
“What did they say?” I asked as I approached her.
“We’re checked in,” she said. “Now we just wait.”
“Wait?”
“Rams… it’s an emergency room.”
I looked around. There were more than a handful of people waiting.
“They don’t look sick to me,” I said, knowing how irrational I sounded.
“Rams…”
I showed my hands and walked toward the desk.
A woman looked up at me, over the rim of a pair of skinny, black glasses. “Can I help you, sir?”
“That’s a kid over there,” I said. “I understand everyone here is sick. But that’s a kid. With an extremely high fever.”
“We’re getting someone to help him right now,” she said. “Give us one minute and we’ll get him a wheelchair and take him to the children’s emergency room.”
“No need for a wheelchair,” I said. “I’ll carry him. Let’s go right now.”
I walked back to Jordyn and took Sam from her.
“I’m going to carry you again, dude,” I said. “We’re going to see the doctor.”
“Rams, what are you doing?” Jordyn asked.
“They have a room. Let’s go.”
“Sir, you need to wait for a nurse,” the woman from behind the counter said.
“Someone can take us now,” I said.
“I’ll take them,” a security guard said. “Buzz me in, Joanne. I’ll get them over there.”
“I appreciate that,” I said to the security guard.
The doors were finally opened, and we were taken into a room with zoo animals painted on the walls. I put Sam down on the bed and backed away. The reality of the hospital room and what was happening started to hit me.
Two nurses entered the room and I touched Jordyn’s arm. “I’ll give you time with him and the nurses and doctors. This isn’t my place anymore.”
“Rams, wait,” she said. “It’s okay.”
“I’ll be out there,” I said and hurried to get out of the room.
I made it around the corner and stopped. I could hear the beeping of machines. The faint and echoed cries of a couple of kids. A couple of kids laughing. The voices of doctors and nurses talking in a loud whisper. I wondered how many rooms were here, how many kids were here, and what they were here for.
I rubbed my jaw, thinking about Brian again.
Darting out in front of a moving car. Getting hit. Never getting the chance to fight back from his injury or anything. He was just hit, then he was gone. That was it. There was no children’s emergency room or emergency surgery. It was just done.
I put my back against a wall and took a deep breath.
Sam was going to be okay though. Whatever was wrong.
And Jordyn would get her car running again.
Life would move on.
This would just be a distant memory soon enough.
I stood there for what could have been ten minutes or an hour.
“There you are, Rams,” a voice said.
I turned, and Jordyn was coming my way.
“Hey,” I said. “What’s going on?”
“He’s going to be okay,” she said. “Doctor is saying strep throat. He’s going to do a test to confirm. He’ll need antibiotics and rest.”
“Does he have to stay?”
“No. He’ll be-”
“Where is he?” a voice said from behind me.
Jordyn’s eyes moved, and her face went white.
I turned my head and saw someone approaching.
A face that was familiar but aged. Beady eyes and the same short, spiked hair. The same dirty jeans and cowboy boots. The same leather jacket. The same look of disgust on his face.
“I tried to tell you,” Jordyn said. “I called Keith too.”
Keith breezed right by me and went to Jordyn, backing her up. “Where is he?”
“He’s with the doctor. He’s going to be-”
“Couldn’t wait until Monday?” Keith asked.
I gritted my teeth and told myself not to say anything. This was between them. This was about Sam. Keith was Sam’s father. Jordyn was Sam’s mother. I was… I didn’t even know who the hell I was right then…
“It’s probably strep,” Jordyn said. “That can’t wait.”
Keith turned his head and looked at me. “Who is this… wait a second…”
My nostrils flared as he smirked.
“Come and see him,” Jordyn said to Keith.
“Ramsey,” he said. “What the hell are you doing here?”
“He drove me,” Jordyn said. “My car wouldn’t start.”
“That piece of shit? I told you to get rid of it last year.”
“With what money?”
“My checks always seem to clear,” Keith said. He looked at me again. “You drove her here? What’s going on here?”
“Don’t worry about it,” I said. “Go check on your kid. He’s sick.”
“Wait, wait, you’re the hero here?” he asked.
He turned to face me, and Jordyn grabbed his arm. “Keith, stop.”
“No,” he said. “Are you with him? You screwing him? Ramsey? The fucking dirtbag with the fucked-up family?”
I sucked in a breath and kept my mouth shut.
“Keith,” Jordyn growled. “He was there for me tonight. I tried calling you earlier and you refused to believe me.”
“What? That the kid has a fever? You couldn’t just wait it out?”
“You can’t do that when it’s that bad,” Jordyn yelled.
A nurse came around the corner. “The doctor is looking for you.”
“Okay,” Keith said.
I took a step and he wasted no time in putting his hand out, right against my chest. “You’re done here, Ramsey. You did your part. You played taxi with my ex and my son.”
Every Other Weekend Page 20