by Albert Camus
Dora: Yes. (More softly) However, we are going to give death.
Kaliayev: Who, us? Oh, you mean...It's not the same thing. Oh no! It's not the same thing. We kill just to build a world where no one will ever have to kill again! We accept our being criminals so that the earth can finally be covered with innocents.
Dora: And if it's never like that?
Kaliayev: Be quiet -- you know that's impossible. Stepan would be right then. It would be slapping beauty in the face.
Dora: I've been in the Organization longer than you; I know that nothing is simple. But you have faith in it. We all need faith.
Kaliayev: Faith? No. Only one person has that.
Dora: You have the force from the soul. And you will leave everything behind to go to the end. Why did you ask to throw the first bomb?
Kaliayev: Can you talk about terrorist action without being part of it?
Dora: No.
Kaliayev: You have to be in the front row.
Dora, who seems to be thinking: Yes. There is the front row and there is that last moment. We must think of that. That's where the courage is, the exultation that we need ... that you need.
Kaliayev: For a year, I have thought of nothing else. That moment is why I've lived until now. And I know now that I want to die then, at the side of the Grand Duke. Lose my nerve until the last moment, or burn all at once, in the flame of the explosion, and leave nothing behind me. Do you understand why I asked to throw the bomb? To die for an idea that's the only way to be truly at the top of the idea. That's the justification.
Dora: I also want that kind of death.
Kaliayev: Yes, it's a goodness that one can envy. At night, I return sometimes to the pallet of a vendor. One thought torments me: they have made assassins out of us. But I think at the same time that I am going to die, and my heart lifts. I smile, you see, and I go back to sleep like a child.
Dora: It's good that way, Yanek. To kill and then to die. But in my opinion, there is an even greater goodness. (A silence. Kaliayev looks at her. She lowers her eyes.) The scaffold.
Kaliayev, with fever: I have thought of it. To die at the moment of the assassination leaves something unachieved. Between the assassination and the scaffold, on the other hand, there is an eternity, the only one, perhaps, for a man.
Dora, in an urgent voice, taking his hands: That's the thought that will help you. We pay more than we owe.
Kaliayev: What do you mean?
Dora: We are obliged to kill, right? We deliberately sacrifice one life and only one?
Kaliayev: Yes.
Dora: But first to go to the assassination and then to the gallows, is to give your life twice. We pay more than we owe.
Kaliayev: Yes, that is to die twice. Thank you, Dora. No one can criticize us. Now, I am sure of myself. (Silence.) What, Dora? Nothing else to say?
Dora: I still want to help you. Only...
Kaliayev: Only what?
Dora: No, I'm crazy.
Kaliayev: You don't trust me?
Dora: No, dear, I don't trust myself. Since Schweitzer died I've had the strangest ideas. And it's not for me to tell you what will be difficult.
Kaliayev: I like difficult things. If you respect me, talk.
Dora, looking at him: I know. You're brave. That is what worries me. You laugh, you glory in this, you walk toward your sacrifice wholeheartedly. But in a few hours, you will have to leave this dream, and act. Maybe it would be better to talk about it in advance to avoid a surprise, a weakness.
Kaliayev: I won't have any weakness. Say what you think.
Dora: Well, the assassination, the gallows, to die twice, that's all easier. Your heart is enough for that. But at the front...(She is quiet, looking at him and seeming to hesitate.) At the front, you will see him.
Kaliayev: Who?
Dora: The Grand Duke.
Kaliayev: Just for a second.
Dora: One second for you to look at him! Oh! Yanek, you must know, you should be warned. A man is a man. The Grand Duke may have compassionate eyes. You might see him blink, or smile happily. Who knows, he might have a little razor cut. And if he looks at you right then...
Kaliayev: It's not him I'm killing. It's despotism.
Dora: Of course, of course. We must kill despotism. I've prepared the bombs and while handling the tubes, you know, the hardest part, when your nerves are stretched -- I was strangely happy in my heart. But I don't know the Grand Duke and it would have been a lot harder if, while I was doing that, he was sitting right in front of me. You will see him close up. Very close up.
Kaliayev (violently): I will not see him.
Dora: How? Will you close your eyes?
Kaliayev: No. But with God's help, hate will come to me at the right time and it will blind me. (A knock. They are still. Enter Stepan and Voinov. A voice in the antechamber. Enter Annenkov.)
Annenkov: That was the doorman. The Grand Duke is going to the theater tomorrow. (He looks at them.) Everything must be ready, Dora.
Dora (sourly): All right. (She leaves slowly)
Kaliayev (watching her leave and then turning toward Stepan): I will kill him. With joy!
Act Two
The next evening. The same place. Annenkov is at tho window and Dora at the table.
Annenkov: They're in place. Stepan just lighted his cigarette.
Dora: When is the Grand Duke supposed to go by?
Annenkov: In just a minute. Listen. Isn't that a carriage? No.
Dora: Sit down. Be patient.
Annenkov: And the bombs?
Dora: Sit down. We can't do anything else.
Annenkov: Yes we can. Envy them.
Dora: You're the leader; your place is here.
Annenkov: I am the leader. But Yanek is better than me, because it's him who might. . .
Dora: The risk is the same for all of us, those who throw the bombs and those who don't.
Annenkov: The risk is the same in the end, but right now Yanek and Alexis are in the line of fire. I know I can't be with them. However, sometimes I'm afraid of agreeing too easily to my role. It's convenient, after all, to be forced not to throw the bomb.
Dora: And when would that be? What's essential is that you do what you must, until the end.
Annenkov: How can you be so calm?!
Dora: I'm not calm; I'm scared. I've been with you for three years, making bombs for two. I've done everything and I don't think I've forgotten anything.
Annenkov: Of course not, Dora.
Dora: So, it's three years that I've been afraid, with this fear that recedes a little when you sleep, but you get back it fresh in the morning. So I've had to get used to it. I've learned to be calm when I am really the most petrified. It's nothing to be proud of.
Annenkov: On the contrary, be very proud! Me, I never mastered it. Do you know I regret the old days, with that brilliant life and the women. Oh, I loved the women, the wine, those endless nights.
Dora: I don't doubt it, Boria. That's why I like you so much. Your heart isn't dead. Even if it still dreams of those pleasures, that's better than that silence which takes their place.
Annenkov: What do you mean? You? That's impossible.
Dora: Listen. (She looks up brusquely. the noise of a carriage.) No. it's not him. My heart is pounding. You see, I haven't learned anything.
Annenkov (going to the window: Wait. Stepan's making the signal. It's him. (A rolling noise in the background, which comes under the windows and then fades. A long silence.) In a few seconds. (They listen.) It's so long! (Dora makes a gesture. A long silence, then bells are heard,in the distance.) This is impossible. Yanek should have thrown the bomb by now. The carriage must have already reached the theater! And Alexis? Look! Stepan is turning back and running towards the theater.
Dora, (throwing herself on him): Yanek's been arrested! He must have been. We must do something!
Annenkov: Wait. (listening) No. It's finished.
Dora: How has this happened? Yanek, arrested with
out having done anything! He was ready for everything, I know. He wanted prison and the trial. But after having killed the Grand Duke! Not this way, no, not this way!
Annenkov (looking outside): Voinov! Quick! (Dora goes to let him in. Enter Voinov, with an unsettled expression.) Alexis, quick, tell us!
Voinov: I don't know anything. I was waiting for the first bomb. I saw the carriage turn and nothing happened. I lost my head. I thought that at the last minute you had changed the plan; I hesitated. Then I ran here.
Annenkov: And Yanek?
Voinov: I didn't see him.
Dora: He's been arrested!
Annenkov, still looking outside: There he is! (Dora goes to let him in. Enter Kaliayev, in tears.)
Kaliayev: Brothers, forgive me. I couldn't. (Dora, goes toward him and takes his hand.)
Dora: It's nothing.
Annenkov: What happened?
Dora, to Kaliayev: It's nothing. Sometimes at the last minute, everything screws up.
Annenkov: But this is impossible.
Dora: Let him be. You're not the only one, Yanek. Schweitzer couldn't the first time either.
Annenkov: Yanek, were you afraid?
Kaliayev (jumping on him): Fear, no. You don't have the right! (The usual signal. Voinov leaves on a sign from Annenkov. Kaliayev throws himself down on the couch. Enter Stepan.)
Annenkov: Well?
Stepan: There were children in the carriage.
Annenkov: Children?
Stepan: The Grand Duke's niece and nephew.
Annenkov: The Grand Duke was supposed to be alone, according to Orlov.
Stepan: The Grand Duchess was also there. I suppose that was too big a crowd for our poet. Fortunately, the informers did not see anything. (Annenkov speaks softly to Stepan. Everyone looks at Kaliayev who looks up toward Stepan.)
Kaliayev: I could not predict this...Children, those children especially. Have you ever looked at little kids? That serious look they have sometimes...I couldn't stand that look...A minute before, however, in the corner of the little square, I was happy. When the lamps of the carriage started to shine in the distance, my heart started thumping with joy, I swear it. It beat harder and harder as the carriage rolling got louder. It made so much noise inside me. I think I was laughing. And I was saying, "yes, yes." Do you understand? (He stops looking at Stepan and resumes his previous position.) I ran toward the carriage. Then I saw them. They weren't laughing. They held themselves all straight and looked out at nothing. They looked so sad! Lost in their parade poses, hands folded, the doors on either side. I didn't see the Grand Duchess; I only saw them. If they had looked at me, I think I would have thrown the bomb. To at least extinguish that sad look. But they looked straight ahead. (He raises his eyes toward the others. More softly.) Oh, I don't know what happened. My arms became weak. My legs shook. One second after that, it was too late. (Silence. He looks at the floor.) Dora, was I dreaming, I thought I heard bells ringing right then?
Dora: No, Yanek, you weren't dreaming. (She puts her hand on his arm. Kaliayev lifts his head up and sees them all turned toward him. He stands up.)
Kaliayev: Look at me, brothers, look at me, Boria, I am not a coward, I didn't chicken out. I was not waiting for them. Everything happened too fast. Those two little serious faces and in my hand, that terrible weight. It's at them that I would have been throwing it. No! I couldn't. (He looks from one to the other.) In the old days, when I drove the car at our place in the Ukraine, I flew like the wind, afraid of nothing. Nothing in the world, except of running over a child. I imagined the shock, that fragile head hitting the road... (He is quiet.) Help me... (Silence) I want to kill myself. I came back because I thought I owed you an explanation, that you would be my only judges, that you would tell me if I was right or wrong, that you could not lie to yourselves. But you aren't saying anything. (Dora comes over to touch him. He looks at everyone and speaks in a low voice.) This is what I propose. If you decide that we must kill the children, I'll wait for them to come out of the theater and I'll throw the bomb at the carriage. I know I won't miss the target. Decide, and I'll obey the Organization.
Stepan: The Organization told you to kill the Grand Duke.
Kaliayev: That's true. But it didn't ask me to murder children.
Annenkov: Yanek is right. We didn't predict this.
Stepan: He should have obeyed orders.
Annenkov: I'm responsible for this. Every possibility should have been planned for, and then no one would have hesitated over what to do. Now we just need to decide whether to give up this try or tell Yanek to wait until they leave the theater. Alexis?
Voinov: I don't know. I think I would have done the same as Yanek. But I'm not sure of myself. (Softly) My hands are shaking.
Annenkov: Dora?
Dora, violently: I would have stopped, like Yanek. How can I ask others to do things I couldn't do myself?
Stepan: Do all of you realize what this decision means? Two months of shadowing, of all the risks we've run and evaded, two months lost, for nothing. Egor arrested for nothing. Rikov hanged for nothing. And we have to start over? More long weeks of night watches and ruses, unending tension, before another chance? Are you crazy?
Annenkov: You know that in two days the Grand Duke will go to the theater again.
Stepan: Two more days that we risk being caught; you said so yourself.
Kaliayev: I'm leaving.
Dora: Wait! (To Stepan.) Could you, Stepan, with your eyes open, throw a bomb at a child?
Stepan: I could if the Organization commanded.
Dora: Why are your eyes closed?
Stepan: Are they?
Dora: Yes.
Stepan: Just to imagine the situation better, and respond with knowledge of the facts.
Dora: Open your eyes, and understand that the Organization would lose all its power and influence if it were to condone for a second children being hurt by our bombs.
Stepan: I can't take any more of this garbage. When we decide to forget about children, that day we'll be masters of the world and the revolution will triumph.
Dora: That day, the revolution will be hated by all of humanity.
Stepan: What does the whole world matter if we're strong enough to impose ourselves on them, and save them from themselves and from their slavery?
Dora: And if all of humanity rejects the revolution? And if all the people who you fight for refuse to have their children killed? Will we have to force them?
Stepan: Yes, if necessary, until they understand. I too, I love the people.
Dora: Love does not look like that.
Stepan: Who says so?
Dora: Me, Dora.
Stepan: You're a woman and you have the wrong idea about what love is.
Dora, violently: But I have the right idea about what shame is.
Stepan: I have been ashamed of myself just once, and it was the fault of others. When they whipped me. Because they whipped me. The whip, do you know what that is?! Vera was beside me and she killed herself in protest. Me, I lived. What should I be ashamed of now?
Annenkov: Stepan, everyone here loves you and respects you. But no matter what your reasons are, I cannot let you say that everything is allowed. Hundreds of our brothers have died so that we know that not everything is allowed.
Stepan: Nothing is prohibited which could help our cause.
Annenkov, angrily: Is it all right to join the police and play on both sides, like Evno suggested? Would you do that?
Stepan: Yes, if we needed to.
Annenkov, getting up: Stepan, we will forget what you just said, in consideration of all you have done for us and with us. Just remember this. He wants to know if, in a few hours, we will be throwing bombs at those two children.
Stepan: Children! That's all you can say. Don't you understand anything? Because Yanek did not kill those two, millions of Russian children will die of starvation in the next few years. Have I you ever seen children starve to death? I have, and death by a bomb i
s a breeze next to that death. But Yanek did not see them. He only saw the two intelligent dogs of the Grand Duke. Aren't you human? Do you only live right now in the present? Then choose charity and fix today's evil, instead of the revolution which will cure all evils, present and yet to come.
Dora: Yanek accepts killing the Grand Duke, because his death can bring the time when Russian children won't die of starvation anymore. That by itself is not easy. But the death of the niece and nephew of the Grand Duke will not prevent one child from dying. Even in destruction, there is order, and there are limits.
Stepan, violently: There are no limits. The truth is that you all don't believe in the revolution. (Everyone rises quickly, except Yanek.) You don't believe in it. If you believed in it totally, if you were sure that by our sacrifices and our victories we will build a Russia free from tyranny, a land of freedom which would eventually cover the whole world, and if you don't doubt that then man, freed from his masters and his prejudices, will bring himself up towards the sky to face the real gods, what would the death of two children weigh against that? You remember everything, all those rights, you hear me. And if this death stops you, it's because you are not completely sure of being right. You do not believe in the revolution. (Silence. Kaliayev gets up.)
Kaliayev: Stepan, I am ashamed of myself. However, I cannot let you continue. I accepted killing someone to destroy this dictatorship. But after what you have said, I see a new tyranny coming, which, if it was ever installed, would make me into an assassin when I am trying to be a maker of justice.
Stepan: What would it matter if you were not a "maker of justice," if justice was done, even by assassins? You and I are nothing.
Kaliayev: We are something and you know it well, because it's in the name of your pride that you were speaking earlier today.
Stepan: My pride only looks at me. But the pride of men, their revolution, the injustice under which they live, that is the business of all of us.
Kaliayev: Men do not live by justice alone.
Stepan: When someone steals their bread, what else will they live on but justice?
Kaliayev: On justice and innocence.
Stepan: Innocence? Maybe I know what that is. But I chose to ignore it, and have it be ignored by millions of men, so that one day it can take on a bigger meaning.