But her coaxing and questioning made no difference. She didn’t have it in her to resist the proposition.
“I would like that, Master Lucerne, and he can report back to you that I am doing as I said I would. Having him train me in the Spreuken way is amenable to both of our desires.”
“Excellent, my Queen,” Lucerne said, smiling and saluting. “Enjoy the freedom ceremony of the well-deserving Toler. I look forward to seeing you in a few hours.”
As Yara said her goodbyes and stole away, she walked down the tunnel deep in thought. Then, she began hearing whispers coming from a room up ahead. She slowed her pace, certain she recognized one of the voices. As she quietly approached the room with its door barely ajar, she realized it was where Atlase and Kiyar had gone to speak. She could hear their faint argument, with Kiyar’s voice laden with emotion.
“You shouldn’t go with her, Atlase! It is not right for you to be around the Eld Queen in such an inappropriate manner. I’ve seen, I’ve FELT, the way you change as soon as you see her, and even when someone mentions her name! It is wrong, and it is dangerous. Do you no longer care about what we share, what we have endured together for thousands of years? Our mating happens in a month!”
She could hear Atlase whispering back in apologetic and reassuring tones, and she could also hear him calling his father’s name. Suddenly, she heard the noise of approaching footsteps from the tunnel behind her and she walked off briskly.
Yara had to admit that some part of her felt completely relieved. She had not been going crazy and this wasn’t a one-sided experience—Atlase did feel something, so much so that his promised had noticed it, and wanted it to end. She also admittedly felt a little triumphant at being able to unnerve Atlase’s promised one in such a significant way.
I’m sorry, Kiyar… but perhaps this is the will of Sunstar…
“YaraStar, will you surrender all that you are?”
Yara jumped at the sudden interruption of her thoughts by Guidestar.
You came back… you’re here… Why did you attack Master Lucerne in the Photak village?!
“The attack did not come from me…”
Then why did he stumble back at the exact time you whispered to me?
“He will lead you on the wrong path, and only the wrong path…it is a path you must not follow. YaraStar, you must know who you are… and you must surrender to your true purpose.
You must face the darkest truth to wield the greatest light… for it is only with that light that you will see your purpose.”
Wow… so no more riddles this time? Just clear dictating of what I should and shouldn’t do, who I should and shouldn’t trust? Perhaps everyone should let me decide who I am and what I want! Right and wrong, dark and light… I already know my purpose! You ensured I DIED to become the Queen. And until you are ready to tell me exactly who or what YOU are, I think I can take it from here!
Yara pushed away her Guidestar with a far more targeted push, allowing silence to fill its place.
Well at least now I know how to rid myself of you…
She was immediately consumed by guilt for her thoughts. Guidestar had never falsely led her when she was unmarked and unknown. But the closer she got to understanding her origins, the more suspicious she felt about everyone around her. Guidestar had been among the greatest mysteries of them all. Still, she was finally getting a handle on the two bloodlines within her and the Houses they represented. She was even getting better at navigating between the different Masters of the Houses. But Atlase…
Atlase confuses my soul…
Yara sighed, so deep in thought that she didn’t notice she had entered the territory of the Skotads until a few of them greeted her. She shook herself mentally, refocusing on why she was there. As she made her way toward Toler’s tunnel, her brooding was gradually replaced by exhilaration. There was no denying that her heartstar was full of joy that he would soon be free.
Chapter Fourteen
“Ready?” Yara asked Toler.
He trembled as he took a seat. Still, he nodded confidently, with great anticipation beaming through his eyes.
“And what about you, little warrior?” Yara asked, looking slightly behind her toward Toler’s desk.
“Oh, I am solo ready! I can’t wait for all of us to walk in Sunstar’s rays tomorrow!” Mila responded as she sat upon his work chair with wonder filling her widened eyes. Mila had kept her eyes closed for the freedom ceremony that had given her sight in the dark. She couldn’t wait to see what it might have looked like when Yara performed it on her.
“Let’s begin,” Yara said softly, gazing at the strong form seated on his swaddling below her.
Yara allowed herself to sink into her mind once again, and soon harnessed the calming power of the joint rhythm of her le-feer and heartstar. It took her less than half the time to find that place of deep, meditative peace. She began the chant that Master Nox had taught her, saying it over and over again until her le-feer had completely unlocked and was ready to move into Toler.
As she coaxed it gently and rested her hands upon him, she felt far more controlled than she had the last time. Her le-feer seemed to understand her intentions and moved at just the right pace to allow Yara’s power to seep into Toler without feeling anxious.
As the one-way bond began, she could feel his bravery and his honor. The truth behind all his words and actions shone brightly, and his goodness was eerily similar to Mila’s in nature.
Such purity… and so much…
Yara let out a sudden gasp.
There, in the midst of all of him, consuming his entire heartstar was…
Me…
Yara might have known that there was some measure of shared affection between them, but this was different. It was serious. She wanted to pull away, knowing how violated he would feel by her access to his veiled feelings, but she couldn’t risk interrupting the ceremony for fear that she would damage him, or worse. She longed to hurry her le-feer along, but the success of the process depended on the exposure of his entire soul to her so that he could be fully adjusted.
Yara had neglected to make him aware of this part of the ceremony because it hadn’t occurred to her, when she first explored Mila’s soul, that it would reveal so much. Mila was still very young, with lots of childlike feelings that unclouded by grown-up complications. Much more was exposed in a more developed person. Yara couldn’t help but wonder if Toler would have chosen to partake, had he known the price he would have to pay…
His secrets…
As the most intimate parts of his soul unraveled before Yara’s mind, his fantasies appeared like the fluid imagery of dreams. He not only loved her in ways that Yara had never known or felt love, but he continually visualized them being together…
He wants to be by my side…he daydreams of himself being my mate…the mate of the Eld Queen…and…he plans to tell me…he plans to tell me tonight! No… no! He can’t tell me! He shouldn’t even be feeling this way.
As the last locks of the curse within his markings were removed, the freedom ceremony came to an end. Every part of Toler could now withstand the rays of Sunstar. And every part of Yara was now unable to face him.
Yara removed her hands and turned away. She felt angry, pained by the affliction of this newfound knowledge.
“Did it workkkk?” an excited Mila whispered all too loudly.
Toler opened his eyes and a couple of tears escaped from them.
“It did…” he said softly. “I can feel it…my skin, my markings…everything feels different. Yara, you did it. You’ve broken my Skotad curse.”
Yara could hardly bear to turn around and face him, but she willed herself to mask a smile and did it anyway.
“I am so happy to have rewarded you like this, Toler,” She said robotically. “But I am afraid I must leave to tend to the first night’s celebrations on the outside of the mountains.”
“Yes, Mila and I will be there,” he said, smiling warmly as he rose and walke
d toward her.
Yara stepped back.
“I will see you both there, then,” she said, striding briskly toward the door.
“Yara, wait,” Toler called.
She stopped mid-step, praying for patience.
He walked over to her, turned her, and hugged her tightly.
Stiffening in his embrace, she didn’t even allow herself to breath.
“Thank you,” he whispered, seeming unaware of her opposing physical response. “Although those words don’t seem like enough. But there are other words I must share. Yara, there is something I’ve been meaning to tell you—”
“You’re welcome, Toler,” she interrupted him coldly. “Truly. But I really must go now. I must be with my people.”
He seemed confused but also quite saddened by her abruptness.
“Well, let me know when is the best time for you. Perhaps tomorrow, when we go out in the rays of Sunstar to experience my freedom together.”
“I can’t,” Yara responded flatly, “but you and Mila definitely can.”
“What?” Mila said, her voice thick with disappointment. “Why not, Yara? You said we could! You said that when you first came here!”
“When I said that, I did not know that I have to meet Atlase. He is taking me on a tour of the other side of Mira, where the House of Ladden is rebuilding the ruins. My castle is there. I will finally see the old dwelling of my Eld parents.”
“Atlase,” Toler repeated, brows furrowed, “as in, Lucerne’s son?”
“Yes,” Yara responded matter-of-factly. “It was arranged at dinner tonight. I am sorry about that. But, as I said, you can both do that together, and Mila can show you the ropes.”
“Yara,” Toler pressed gently, “are you sure that’s a good idea? Lucerne’s intentions have been questionable at best…and from all I now understand through the journals, I would certainly advise otherwise.”
Yara reached her limit with his impositions, and his desires.
“Toler, there are many things about my people and me that you don’t understand. I know what I am doing, okay? And I don’t answer to anyone. So, either accept the things I have to say, or simply stay out of it. I really don’t need advice for matters that creatures can’t possibly begin to understand.”
Toler and Mila looked blankly at Yara, speechless at her edgy, insulting retort.
Yara felt a huge pang of guilt for what she had said, and how she had said it, but she needed to do something to make Toler realize what he hoped for could never happen.
My duty is to my people…and a creature can never be with an Eld. How could he even think of himself so highly? And how could he want such things when it would compromise my already shaky hold on the queendom? He thinks he loves me, but maybe he’s just selfish.
Yara knew she was lying to herself because she had felt the way in which he loved her in the pit of his naked soul. But for now she couldn’t think about that, and she certainly had no room for it in her life. She needed to put as much distance between them as she could, at least until he got the point.
“I will see you all a bit later, okay?” Yara said quietly, exiting Toler’s room into the tunnel.
As she shut the door behind her, her tears began their own freedom ceremony, rushing down the soft skin of her face.
***
It can’t be real. It’s so…breathtaking, so unbelievably beautiful…how can this be real?
As Yara stared at the approaching, shimmering sky lights of the first night on Mira in four thousand years, her heartstar grew warm. Sunstar was setting in the distance, and as darkness took over the horizon on the opposite side of the sky, the blending of the two very different scenes was magical to behold. The further that Sunstar set, the more clearly the shimmers glinted. They twisted and glided in the air beneath the darkness, joyful to be alive again, dancing to the music of the winds. Once there was no more warm light from Sunstar, the night became a sparkling show of distant stars, now-distinct moons, and shimmers of green, red, purple, and blue.
Then something even more miraculous happened. Traveling on the ground behind their feet were streams of glowing lights. They looked like they were made of the same luminescence as the Elds’ markings, but they ran across the vines and in the roots beneath the soil, bathing the undersides of mushrooms and illuminating the transparent trunks of Saptrees as far as the eye could see. The Eld had a word for it that could only be felt in the depths of their language. It became two words when roughly translated into the creatures’ tongue.
Bios lumen…
It referred to the same kind of light, whether it dwelt in the markings of the Eld or in the trunks of Saptrees—living light that inhabited nature. Yara had learned that once this bios lumen was contained within such vessels, it was harmless to creatures and nourishing for the Eld. But the shimmering sky lights, uncontained and uncontrolled, were the true danger, deadly to creatures, and dangerous even to the Eld. And while certain Photaks were able to wield the light of Sunstar, wielding of the sky lights was possible only for highly trained Eld.
As Yara breathed in the splendor that surrounded her, she found herself completely at peace. Everything about the night felt right…and even more so, it overflowed with power. Her le-feer was gurgling within her like sacred Sapstreams, sensing the presence of other forms of living light within the vegetation of the Greens below and the sky above.
Yara wasn’t the only one affected. The Eld around her seemed strengthened in an instant, standing straighter with their lean muscles protruding through their flawless skin. Their markings all took on a brighter glow, illuminating the entire area where they stood and flooding the sky with a hued rainbow of colors. Their gratitude was interwoven with the chanting of their whispered, ancient songs, with families embracing and friends pointing with joy.
Mira, with its core only halfway powered, was finally turning at the pace it once had. While the core still remained quite damaged – a sight Atlase had promised to show Yara the next day – it was now self-sustaining enough to bring back the natural rotation of days and nights. It was indeed a great night of celebration.
“What do you think, Queen Yara?” Lucerne murmured with a glassy look in his eyes.
“Yes, what are your thoughts, my Queen?” Nox chimed in.
They stood on either side of her, but for the first time didn’t seem to be warring with snide remarks. In fact, they had joked a lot with each other since Yara arrived, recounting memories of foolhardy Elds from both of their Houses who had thought it smart to play with the sky lights.
It was encouraging for Yara to see that for the Eld, some matters were far more important than inter-House squabbles.
If only Kiyar would take heed of their fine example and follow suit…
Kiyar had arrived with Atlase at the beginning of the night, and she stayed by his side without budging. She yanked him away every time Atlase had seemed to turn in Yara’s direction. She stood now next to him, with Atlase next to his parents, glaring off into the distance.
Yara felt a level of annoyance that she knew was excessive but she couldn’t help it. Kiyar was undignified in her eyes…
And that’s saying something, coming from me! At least I can excuse my behavior with my genuine ignorance!
Huffing, Yara found it hard to face the real source of her aggravation.
Everything in her wanted to be closer to Atlase, to speak to him about the journey the next day, to understand the old Mira through his eyes, and to know if perhaps…
Do you feel everything I feel?
Did he know what their connection was or where it came from? Even though she knew that Atlase would be with her alone in the morning, she burned with curiosity and was tormented by the slowness of time. Even worse, he had been aloof from her in the presence of his promised one.
But I am the Queen. I can request a private conversation with him!
Yara turned to Atlase and was about to call his name when she lost her capacity to speak.
/> Toler…
There, beyond Atlase and walking toward her, were Toler and Mila. Their expressions seemed unsure, clearly questioning whether they should approach, but also compelled to relay their greetings. Mila walked up first, with Toler only a few steps behind her.
“YaraStar…this is the prettiest thing I have ever seen,” Mila said, devoid of her usual excitement and wide smile.
“Yes, MilaStar, it is for me as well…”
Mila was clearly deflated and Yara’s stomach panged with guilt. She knew she would have to explain to Mila what had happened, and why she pushed Toler away. Yara could only hope that she would be able to understand.
“Aren’t these the lucky creatures you freed from their curse, Queen Yara?” Lucerne said with a hint of scorn. Then, looking pointedly at Toler, he continued. “You must be Toler, then. I’ve already met the feisty Mila.”
“Yes, we are completely free—just like you, Lucerrrrrne,” Mila said with a touch of mockery. She was definitely not pleased by his continued use of “creature” to describe her.
Yara grinned, pleased to see the fire return, a fire she had always loved in the Photak child. She was also pleased to see Atlase step forward to listen to the conversation. Mila’s outspokenness was guaranteed to get anyone’s attention.
But Lucerne ignored Mila, staring instead at Toler, impatiently awaiting a response.
Toler, however, had only looked at Yara since he arrived, never once diverting his gaze. The space grew uncomfortable with silence as both Lucerne and Nox glanced at Yara, perplexed.
“Queen Yara,” Toler eventually said, “I wanted to formally thank you again for removing the curse of the light from me. I will forever be in your debt, and I look forward to experiencing the blessing of your gift tomorrow.”
“You’re most welcome, Toler,” Yara responded softly, shifting uncomfortably. It was the first time Toler had ever addressed her so formally, and it didn’t feel right.
I hate this… I hate it.
Toler continued to stand there, sheepishly, as Mila got distracted, staring at the shimmers of the sky and all the beauty that surrounded them.
The Eld Queen (The YaraStar Trilogy Book 2) Page 13