Yara blushed as he said the words she had been secretly longing to hear, but a massive pang of guilt immediately followed.
“But…what of Kiyar?”
It was Atlase’s turn to avert his gaze. Confusion flooded his face.
“She knows that something has happened within me. She’s not only sensed it, but heard me speaking your name in my sleep. It is a terrible thing to put her through, and it has been the greatest source of sadness for me. Kiyar has been in my life for a long time…but I think that she has been my promised because I never knew I could feel this for anyone. We’ve always heard the stories of the divine, magnetic connection that pulls two Elds together despite of themselves, but neither Kiyar nor I had that experience. I just don’t think we were ever ready to admit to ourselves that our connection wasn’t necessarily divine. I do love her, and she loves me…but…”
Atlase’s voice broke off.
“But it may not be meant to be…?” Yara asked slowly, her mind conjuring an image of Toler as she said those words.
“Yes. I guess…I don’t know…” he said softly.
For the next few minutes they rode in silence, considering those whom they knew they would be hurting by even having this conversation.
An Eld and a creature, paying a price for their love…But what if we also aren’t meant to be? We can’t consider putting those we care about through any pain unless we are sure… and even then…
Yara turned to face Atlase.
“And what if it’s not that?” she asked. “If it’s not a divine connection…what else could it be in Eld beliefs?”
Atlase raised an eyebrow as he considered her question. His mood shifted ever so slightly, but Yara sensed it straightaway.
“Well…” he started, “some believe that Sunstar tests the Elds in these ways, to ensure that they have acutely tuned in to their le-feers, so that they can righteously and accurately interpret Sunstar’s will. But, I will admit, that is a very Agarb belief, and it is not widely shared by my House. Is that what someone in your House has told you of your…reactions to my presence?”
A hint of defensiveness layered Atlase’s words and his kind tone was replaced with a mild sense of distrust. Yara wondered for a second whether she should tell him that she hadn’t shared this experience with anyone. At the same time, she believed it to be wiser for him to assume that he wasn’t the only person teaching her about these Eld ways. There was something odd about his almost-imperceptible shift that didn’t sit well within her.
“I believe it is important for us to consider all perspectives, and it is also my duty as Queen of the Eld, of all the Houses,” she responded, evading his question.
His eyes narrowed.
“Indeed, my Queen,” he said, standing once again and lifting the reins for the Urses as he intensely stared ahead.
Yara wondered if her response had been too formal, but soon realized that his actions might have had nothing to do with her. There, just ahead of them, was the once dark side of Mira, and it was a ghastly, barren wasteland.
As the Bravad troops drew closer around them, he turned to her with a serious face.
“Secure yourself, my Queen. We are about to go faster than you have ever imagined.”
***
“It’s… surreal,” Yara whispered, enthralled even by the way that her voice bounced gently off the walls of her Eld parents’ room.
She slowly studied every feature of the royal chambers, not wanting to miss a single detail. Something within her registered this place as familiar. There was a warmth she felt within her le-feer that caused her entire body to feel embraced. In an instant, she knew why.
This is just what I would have felt like in my mother’s womb…
This was it. This was definitely a place that she had been before, a place where intimate moments were shared. In the strangest of ways, she somehow knew that she had been loved and wanted. And while she may have never seen any of it–never smelled the furs freshly cut from the feathered trees and fluffed feathered pillows, never felt the arms of her father and the kisses of her mother–she was certain that more than any other place she had ever been…
This was my home…
Tears filled her eyes and overflowed. She brushed them away quickly, hoping those around would believe she was brushing the loose strands of her windswept hair.
Atlase had been right. The journey there was beyond her greatest fantasies. She was convinced that Urses had to be magical creatures blessed by Sunstar, to travel that fast. Such a journey on foot might have taken hours. With the sacred beasts, it took less than one.
When Yara had first seen the castle in the distance, she was sure it was a figment of her mind. When she entered and surveyed the towering structures and architectural beauty, she finally understood how displaced the Eld must feel, and how hard it must have been for them to adapt upon exiting the cocoons. Put in their shoes, there was no conceivable way that Yara would have as easily accepted the distortion of her exquisite world into lightless terrains and merciless destruction. The Eld were a stronger people than she had known. They did grieve for their home, but went right to work to rebuild the Mira of old.
In her parents’ room, with Atlase and the Bravads, was Master Puton, the elderly Spreuken Yara had met at Lucerne’s dinner, who was in charge of the rebuilding work of the Laddens. Master Mehan of the Laddens was also there, pleased to be graced by the Queen’s presence, and even more so because of Yara’s gushing admiration.
“Your designs are pure perfection…so many intricacies, so much beauty,” she said. She was profoundly affected as, in many ways, the experience reminded her of her Tribe father’s magnificent work. “I know I may have nothing to compare it to, since I never saw what your eyes once beheld, but it moves my heartstar in ways I don’t have the words for just yet. Just know, as a result of the works of your hands, this place feels like home to me. It brings back strange flashes of what I might dare call memories…I can hear the murmurs of my mother and the chuckles of my father here…”
As Yara’s voice trailed off, Atlase and all the Eld glanced at her with intrigue. It was the first indication that perhaps the late Queen Maia had been pregnant with Yara before the attack of the Hack’amad. It also meant that Maia had kept her pregnancy a secret from everyone. From all Yara had learned thus far, it was customary for an heir to be announced as soon as its presence was known. It would have been the cause of massive celebration for the Eld.
Why was I a secret…why didn’t she tell anyone about me? I can feel her love, her happiness that I was within her. Something must have been wrong. There is so much I still don’t understand…
Suddenly overwhelmed, she turned to everyone and asked that they give her a moment to herself in the chambers. Atlase nodded at the Bravads, and they all bowed and left, with Atlase’s eyes reaching for hers before he closed the door.
This time, Yara didn’t notice. Instead, she sighed, relieved to be alone, and sat on a feathered couch. Antique furniture had been restored, and many of the furnishings that surrounded her had belonged to her parents. According to the Laddens, the chambers had been remade as they had been designed so many millennia ago. Only the adjacent royal areas, down the corridors that led to her wardrobe, bath, and handmaiden’s keep, hadn’t yet been completely renovated.
Pushing herself up, Yara walked toward the door that led to the corridors. Opening it, she moved slowly down them to see if she could grasp the real extent of the work that the Laddens had been performing in order to bring back the castle to its intended condition.
Work on the corridors had begun and, while they were a bit musty, they were already in good shape. However, she had been told that the one that led to the handmaiden’s quarters had not yet been touched. She found just one corridor that lay in bleak desolation. As she turned the corner into it, she gasped.
It was horrifying to see the state that the chambers had reached. Rocks were scattered everywhere and the walls and floor were o
verlaid with a thick film of dust. She spied a room at the very end with a timeworn door. She knew it must be the place where Mibery’s mother would have rested in between the times she attended to Queen Maia. She smiled, knowing it would soon be restored, so that Mibery could be closer to her mother’s memory.
As she entered the humble room, a strangely sweet smell filled the room. Unlike the musty, dry scent just outside, this was fresh…it was alive. The rooms looked just as dreary as the corridor, but its energy sparked all of her senses.
She walked forward, trying to find the source, and as she reached the center of the room, something caught her eye. There was a sliver of light, glowing in blue and purple hues, barely perceivable at first. It was coming from behind a crack in the wall on the far side. As she grew closer, the crevice began bursting with light, brighter with her every step.
Touching the wall, she could feel her le-feer reaching out in excitement. Even stranger, her pulsing was both steady and chaotic, almost as if both her Agarb and her Spreuken sides were drawn to whatever was behind the wall. She put her hands upon the cracked stone and tried to move it. It was stuck in place and didn’t even shake.
As she bent down to examine the stone, the marking on her forehead began to shine brightly, illuminating the room and casting an intense light against the stone. She heard a small scraping noise and what sounded like a release. She tried to shake the stone once more, and it jiggled in its place. Something had definitely opened.
Heartstar pounding, Yara yanked the stone free. There was a violent puff of dust, but it soon settled.
In a recess in the wall she saw a shimmering paper rolled and tied with a golden thread, fashioned like a mini scroll. She unknotted the thread, which was oddly strong, and slowly unrolled the scroll, careful not to damage it.
There was a note inside. The letters were scrappily, perhaps hurriedly, written in the creatures’ tongue. Yara gasped as she read it.
To the one who bears the burden of blue and purple light within: the Photaks will lead you to the truth. They will lead you to the Keepers.
Chapter Seventeen
As they neared the Photak village, Yara’s bewilderment deepened. She and Atlase had left the once-dark side of Mira a few hours ago, but each moment of the journey had felt like she had just read the words on the scroll for the first time.
The Photaks will lead me to the truth, to the Keepers…but what are the Keepers? And how could the Photaks possibly lead me…?
She squeezed the tiny scroll concealed in her hand, still feeling the energy of Tilly’s room within her. She knew the message in the scroll had to be true—she felt it deep within her core, in her le-feer. But it didn’t make any sense to her. The Photaks had been her greatest source of torture for all of her life. Whatever secrets they may have known, they had chosen not to share them.
Perhaps they fear me enough to share them now…
Yara wasn’t certain this was true. The last time she had been at the village, her actions terrified every Photak there. Perhaps no one would be willing to speak candidly with her.
Except, maybe, Malek. He may be traumatized enough to answer any question I ask.
Yara wondered if he had regained consciousness since she left him recovering in the medical room her father had carved. A part of her still felt that Malek shouldn’t have been in there, but she also felt a sense of justice that he was.
My dear Tribe Father, I hope your presence remained in the room so you can see that I avenged your deaths. I still miss you both, every single day…
She sighed. It was never going to get easier. She would never get over losing them, no matter how much she tried not to think about it. And now, after having been in her Eld parents’ royal chambers, she felt a strange sense of loss for them, too.
I love them all, even Maia and Jaren, but I wish at least one of them were here with me…
“Are you all right, my Queen?” Atlase asked softly, interrupting her thoughts.
She had been silent for the entire journey since they left the palace, unable to engage in conversation. Atlase hadn’t seemed to mind, but every now and then he had turned to gaze at her.
She looked up at him now, their connected eyes wanting to pull their bodies a little closer with every moment they held their stares.
Yara broke the connection first. “I am…” she replied, staring out at the Greens. “Today has just been a long day…”
“And it’s not over yet, I’m afraid,” he responded. “The Photak village is just ahead. Have you decided how you plan to judge the Photak Elders for their treatment of you, and for removing the existence of the Eld from their history?”
Yara stared blankly at him, only then remembering that issuing this formal judgment was a part of her royal duties for the day.
“Uh, yes…I believe I have a plan,” she muttered, thinking quickly as to how she could use this opportunity to find out more about the Keepers.
“May I offer my unsolicited advice, Queen Yara?” Atlase asked, continuing only when Yara nodded. “I think it is important to establish the judgment that you began when we first went there. I believe no creature will ever violate their place in this world if you choose justice over mercy. Mercy may be an Agarb way, but it can imply weakness. You have already honored your Agarb queendom by granting mercy to the rest of the Tribe…but what of the Spreuken ways, and even the Bravads? I think it may earn you even greater respect with the Eld, as a whole, if you take a strong stand today. I’ve heard you say that all the Houses matter to your queendom. I humbly submit that this is an opportunity to show that balanced leadership.”
Yara considered his words and felt like there could be wisdom within them. It was the only unbiased perspective she had gotten, as between Nox and Lucerne she always felt forced to choose a side.
“Do you think I can be both?” Yara asked, thinking aloud.
“Both?”
“Yes…” she replied, “both an Agarb and a Spreuken. Not just in honoring all of the Houses as Queen. I mean, within me…as Yara…”
Atlase stared intensely at her, brows furrowed. Then, he seemed overcome with gratitude that she was even considering honoring her Spreuken side. “In my view, my Queen, the fact that you would even ask that means you already are. And it’s the most incredible thing I’ve ever witnessed…”
***
As Yara stepped off the carriage, she was surprised to see the Photaks around all bowing in Sunstar’s salute. It was clear that the Bravads who had been left in the village had taught it to them, but something didn’t feel good about seeing them quiver in fear as they did it.
I hope the Bravads didn’t hurt the villagers in any way. I want them to feel the mercy that has been granted… to know I am not like them in how they treated me.
A familiar voice called out, “Ya–Queen Yara!”
She turned to see Kristos jogging up and felt somewhat relieved to see him. He was coming from the direction of the Soar–the secret training spot that they had shared for most of their lives. It was there, with Kristos, that she had honed her unmatched warrior skills when she first desired to fight with the Photaks. Among all creatures on Mira, she was the greatest…but sometimes she wondered how she would match up to a Bravad Eld.
“Kristos… have you been well?”
“I have!” He looked genuinely happy to see her. “And I come bearing news. I have been scouting the Greens to find the direction in which my father may have traveled. I believe I might have found his trail…I saw an old sachet of his near an abandoned campsite.”
Yara smiled widely. “I am so happy to hear that, Kristos. If you need assistance in finding him, I will assign my troops. I have already… made arrangements for him to be free from banishment, to be saved.”
More than you even know…
Yara had decided to break the curse over Chief Lamad the moment she had been successful in performing the ritual on Mila. He would be honored. She wouldn’t have it any other way.
“Thank you, Queen Yara, thank you.” Kristos enthusiastically bowed, not in fear, but with love. Her le-feer warmly pulsed as the energy behind it resonated with her Agarb nature.
Yara walked down the path into the main keep, accompanied by Atlase and two of the Bravad warriors, wondering about the type of Queen she needed to be. Fear and justice had their uses, but so did love and mercy. Where was the line? And where should it be drawn with a Photak as evil as Malek?
She came up to the door to the medical room in which he lay, paused to take a deep breath, then pushed it open.
The nurses and some of the Photak Elders were gathered around Malek’s swaddling, saying a prayer for mercy to be granted to him, and they all jumped when she entered. They shook in fear, faces contorted in terror, but they did not move from his swaddling. Yara couldn’t even see Malek.
“MOVE, creatures!” a Bravad warrior barked.
They hesitated, and with small sobs began to slowly shuffle aside, until a weak voice whispered weakly from behind them.
“If today is my day of judgment, please let me face it,” Malek said.
He’s conscious!
The Elders and nurses bowed their heads and moved from his side, leaving their trays of implements and potions on either side of the swaddling. Yara walked up to him.
Malek seemed even weaker than before. His recovery was clearly very slow and filled with agony, and a part of Yara felt pleased to know that. Still, another side of her felt strangely sad to see him suffer. It was the first time she had felt that way and it incensed her. After everything he had done, why should she care about his suffering?
“Queen Yara…” Malek said weakly, attempting to perform a bow while lying in the swaddling.
Atlase scoffed, but Yara’s thoughts were far ahead.
The Eld Queen (The YaraStar Trilogy Book 2) Page 16