by Lisa Daniels
As she ate, he spoke to her, not needing Phoenix to say a word. Clearly he knew her much better than she knew herself at the moment, and she felt completely at ease letting him take control of everything.
Once he was done feeding her, he slipped an arm behind her waist. “Are you doing better today?”
Her eyes met his, the question in them quickly interpreted. He looked away and out of a large window. “You’ve been asleep for nearly two days. That’s why you were so hungry, and why you’re feeling so groggy now.” Gently he pulled her toward the edge of the bed. “Now we need to try to get you up and walking. As much as I would like to have you to myself, there are things we need to do.”
One of her arms was around his neck, and she reflexively shifted it as he mentioned having things that needed to be done. Her mind felt something of a jolt, and she knew that he was right. She was there for a reason, but she couldn’t say what that was. And at that moment, she really didn’t want to know.
Her legs dangled over the side of the bed. “Are you ready to stand?” The pretty green eyes looked into hers, waiting for her response. Giving a slight nod, Phoenix tried to brace herself to move on her own.
Carefully, he helped her stand, her arm remaining wrapped around his neck. As she stood, Phoenix became very aware of her body—it wasn’t pleasant. Her legs felt stiff. The soft voice spoke beside her, “I’ve got you. Don’t worry, I’m not letting go until you are ready.”
Phoenix looked down at her legs, almost like she had never seen them before. Her mind took in what she saw. Both of her legs were visible, which her mind noted as being different from what she had expected.
Dress. I usually wear a dress. Almost as soon as the thought went through her mind, Phoenix spoke up. “No dress?”
“I’m not going to tell anyone, but I do have one prepared for you when you are ready. As long as you are here, though, you can wear whatever you want. I’m sorry that most of them are men’s, but it was difficult to find anyone willing to make pants for a woman.”
Phoenix frowned, then looked down again. Her mind tried to tell her leg what to do, but at first it wouldn’t respond.
The voice was near her ear, “You can start with just lifting a leg up and down. Start with the knee.” The weight to her side shifted a little, and a hand slipped behind her knee, lifting it up then carefully letting it straighten. “Just up and down if you can’t move forward yet.”
Phoenix nodded. Keeping the way her leg had felt in her mind, she moved her leg a little from the knee. It felt sore, and her mind immediately started to drift somewhere else.
“No, no, stay here with me.” The arm around her waist tightened, pulling her mind back to her body, at least the parts that were still close to it. Her body moved on its own, and curiosity got the better of her.
“Dancing. You have always loved to dance.”
Phoenix felt her body moving, her legs dangling just over the ground. There was some music playing that she had not noticed before, but now she wondered how she had missed it. The notes were lively and cheerful, and the way her body moved in his arms made her feel warm. She giggled a little and squeezed the hand holding hers. The movement felt good, even if her body was not entirely comfortable.
“I’m so sorry. It’s all my fault you are having such a hard time. I was too late. But please stay with me, I promise to make it right.”
Phoenix felt a little guilt at the sad tone, with its almost pleading quality, as the man holding her moved her around the room. Wanting to make him feel better and to express how happy she was in that moment, Phoenix uttered the only word she could think of, “Orion.”
The arms around her squeezed, and she hoped that meant he understood what she meant. He moved her slowly around the room until she began to wiggle a little. Letting her feet touch the floor, Phoenix tried to move her legs on her own. It wasn’t nearly as fluid a movement now, but even the clumsy, jerky movements made him smile.
“Thank you.” He leaned over and kissed the top of her head.
Phoenix rested her face against his chest. “Tired.”
“Okay. Rest as much as you need. I will take care of the rest until you are ready.”
The arms placed her on the bed almost was if she were a little child. When he began to pull away, Phoenix grabbed his arm. “No.”
The green eyes looked at her questioningly, then he turned to look at the door. Frowning, Phoenix pulled on him, forcing him to look at her. His attention remained divided between her and the door. Hoping to get her point across, she again said the only word that expressed comfort, “Orion.”
His eyes finally looked into hers, his attention fully on her. She tugged at his arm with both of her hands. “You want me to stay?”
“Here,” she said with a hint of a pout in her voice. “Here,” she repeated a little louder, pulling him toward her.
With a smile, he sat down in the chair again. “I will stay until you are asleep.”
“No.” She frowned at him, her hands still wrapped tightly around his arm. “Here,” again she pulled him.
He blinked at her a few times, then asked the question she wanted to hear, “You want me to lie down with you?”
She nodded her head vigorously. There was a look of uncertainty as he watched her, but it didn’t take long for his resolve to disappear. “Alright.” He moved her hands from his arm, pulled back the covers, and slipped into the bed. Phoenix giggled and threw her arms around him. Wiggling like a puppy, she was glad that she wouldn’t wake up alone.
In response, he turned on his side and wrapped his arms around her. “You really are going to torment me, aren’t you?”
Phoenix shivered at the feel of his arms around her. Moving as close to him as she could, she buried her head in his neck, and felt a sense of nostalgia at the smell. Home, she thought, her hands balled up between her and him.
“Stay,” she muttered into his chest. “Stay.” She pulled her legs up so that she was curled into a ball. Finally she felt comfortable.
“I will stay as long as you need me.” He ran a hand down the back of her head, and she fell asleep feeling like things would be alright.
Chapter 2
Starting from Scratch
Phoenix felt the warmth against her. Opening her eyes, she looked up into the sleeping face of Orion, and for a moment she knew what that meant. A smile spread across her face, and she reached her arms out. Ignoring how sore her arms felt, she wrapped them around his neck and straightened out her legs. “Good morning,” she murmured, and pressed her lips against his. To her surprise, he didn’t move much, stirring just a little but not fully waking.
She ran a hand along the side of his face, pressing some of his hair behind his ear. Parts of her mind began slipping away again, but she was able to retain a lot more because she felt more at peace with Orion beside her. “My little kitty.”
The eyes on his face fluttered a little, and after a couple of failed attempts he finally managed to get them open. It was clear that his vision was a little unfocused as he tried to take in the current situation.
“Good morning,” her voice sounded a little odd in her ears this time, as it had a very husky quality to it.
The smile spread across his face as he closed his eyes for a moment, “Yes, it is.” He leaned forward and kissed her forehead before rolling over and getting out of the bed.
“No!” Her voice was almost pleading as she tried to grab him.
Turing around, Orion chuckled, “I’m not leaving. We need breakfast, and I’m not about to ask you to make it.”
She pouted at his back, but the growl from her stomach let Phoenix know that he was right. Still, she wasn’t happy about it. Pulling the covers over her head, the woman could feel parts of her mind slipping away in disappointment that there would be nothing pleasant to focus on.
“Now, now, none of that.” The cover was pulled back, and Orion looked down at her. “I was just washing up a little. I'm not going to leave you here al
one to pout, especially since you seem to be a lot better than the last few days.” He leaned down and picked her up. “Do you want to try to walk?”
Phoenix looked into his green eyes and tried to decide if it would be better to walk or to remain in his arms. Clearly she would need to get her body working properly, but right now her mind was the greater concern. Giving her head a little shake, she said, “Too weak.” It wasn’t exactly true, but it was the best explanation she could give with her current mental facilities.
“Alright. Let’s fix that, then we will try to get you walking after breakfast.”
A part of Phoenix wanted to just stay the way they were, but she knew that he was right. As disappointing as it was, she didn’t get too upset when he put her down near where he was going to be cooking. It was an entirely different room, but it had the same comfortable feel as the bedroom. Her eyes wandered around the area, taking in the details that seemed very familiar. This was not somewhere new, but it wasn’t somewhere she had been able to spend much time. A slight prick in her heart let her know that she wasn’t pleased with the idea that she couldn’t stay, and that sensation also felt very familiar.
She turned to look at him, her mind trying to remember what his name was so that she could ask something. His eyes were already on her. “Sorry, it isn’t much. But I do hope that you still find it comfortable.”
Phoenix nodded and felt the corners of her mouth tug up. “Home.”
This caused him to laugh, “Well, not yours. The last few times you returned, you have not wanted to return to your home either, and you didn’t like the other places I took you. If it makes you feel better, I am perfectly content with you to think of this as your home, too.” There was a sadness in his eyes that belied the smile on his lips.
Phoenix reached out a hand, wanting to let him know that it would be alright, even if she couldn’t promise that. In fact, she was quite certain that things would never be quite what he wanted, but she wanted to do whatever she could to make him show an honest smile. She loved his real smile. As her hand stretched out, he put down the food he had been preparing and wiped his hands on his apron as he walked over to her. His large hands wrapped around hers. This time she noticed that his hands felt large, but they weren’t that much bigger than her own. “Are you alright? Do you hurt somewhere?”
Her brow creased as she brought her other hand to his face. Lightly patting him, she tried to think of words that would help. The only words that came to mind were the same words that he had spoken that made her feel better. “I am here. I’m right here.”
His beautiful green eyes closed and he put one of his hands over hers. She watched as he seemed to have trouble responding to her. His hand shook a little, which he tried to hide by squeezing hers.
Squeezing back, Phoenix moved her body forward a little and put her head on his chest. “I am right here.”
His arms wrapped around her, and she heard him choke back a sob. Phoenix wrapped her arms around his back. “My kitty,” she murmured into him.
Stroking her hair, he shuddered, though she couldn’t tell if it was a sob or a laugh. “My little bird,” he finally managed as one arm squeezed her closer and the other continued to stroke her hair.
They were interrupted by her stomach growling again. This time when he pulled back there was a small, sad smile on his face. “I’m sorry. I know you are hungry, but I am being selfish. Give me a couple of minutes and I will have something for you to eat while I make breakfast.”
She released him and watched as he moved back over to the food. True to his word, a couple of minutes later he handed her a small plate of food. “Just a few fruits from the tropics. It should give you some energy while you wait for breakfast.”
Phoenix beamed up at him as he placed the plate beside her. She looked down at it, then up at him, uncertain why there weren’t any utensils like yesterday. He watched her for a moment before asking, “You don’t want it?”
Looking down at the plate again, she poked one of the pieces. It was cold and squishy, causing her to pull her hand away in surprise. He laughed a little, “It’s not like the food yesterday, but if you don’t want to use your hands, I can get you a fork. It may be a little harder for you, though, in your current state.”
Phoenix turned her face to his. Not wanting to make him do anything else for her, she shook her head. Her eyes went back to the fruit, distrust of the strange food obvious. Since she completely trusted her companion, the woman stretched out her hand again and wrapped it around one of the pieces. She squeezed a little hard, and almost immediately dropped it as juice leaked onto her hands.
He took her hand and wiped it with his apron. “Not like that. It gets rid of the best parts, as you say. The juice is what makes the fruit so good. Here, like this.” He picked up a piece with his fingers and moved it toward her mouth. Obediently, she opened and let him feed her. “I must warn you, though, it’s sweet with a bit of a tang to it, so don’t be surprised again. I don’t want you to choke.”
With her mouth still open, Phoenix nodded. She quickly realized why he had warned her because the taste was like an explosion in her mouth. The liquid oozed out of the fruit the more she pressed her mouth down on it. It was also a little cold, which made her avoid chewing on it at first. Pressing it against the roof of her mouth with her tongue, she enjoyed the way the juice ran down the back of her throat.
He watched her for a few moments, a contented look on his face. When she reached for the next piece, he knew that she would be alright. Comfortable with the current state of his guest, he pointed across the room. Phoenix’s eyes followed the motion and found herself staring at another version of him and a red-haired woman. “That’s you.”
She looked at him, the sweet taste of the fruit nearly forgotten. “Here,” she tapped herself.
“Yes, you are here, and you are there. It’s a mirror.” He smiled at her. “It will help you remember yourself.” His hand stroked her head as he spoke, “You need to remember who you are for this to work.”
She bunched up her nose and looked away from the mirror.
He laughed a little, “That still hasn’t changed. I tell you what, while I can’t look at your lovely face, will you please look at yourself for me?” His hand trailed down her cheek. Instinctively, she closed her eyes and leaned into his hand before giving up and nodding. “Such a beautiful little bird.” He kissed the top of her head before walking across the kitchen to finish making food.
A few minutes later, Phoenix stared at her empty plate, feeling that her stomach was only sated for a short period of time. Fulfilling her promise, she looked into the mirror. Only the woman looked back at her, the red hair the color of a raging fire, tinges of orange and yellow mixing in with the startling red color. Her eyes were so dark that from that distance she thought they were black. The nose on her face seemed larger than she liked. Grabbing it, she wiggled it with a grunt of disgust, wishing that there were some way to make it better. Unable to keep taking in the pale face, she decided that she had met the obligation to look at herself.
Her eyes immediately returned to the most interesting aspect in her surroundings. He was moving around a good bit, his back to her. She watched for a little bit, but began to be unhappy that he hadn’t so much as looked at her for a while. It was the only thing that bothered her. Feeling at peace, something told her that she needed to enjoy this time as much as possible. There was only one word that she knew could express how she felt at the moment. Her eyes followed her companion’s movements as she spoke the word, “Orion.”
Immediately he turned to look at her. “Yes?”
That’s Orion, her brain was trying to process the feeling with the word. Again she was realizing it was a name. Phoenix was frustrated by how nothing was sticking in her mind, that she was having to relearn things that seemed so obvious. What she wasn’t so sure about was why his name made her feel so comfortable and safe. She scratched her forehead and said his name again, “Orion,” trying to
figure out what she was having trouble remembering.
“I’m almost done, if you can give me just two more minutes. Then we can talk all you want. So long as you promise to work your hardest once you are done eating.”
This caused her to frown. It was almost like he knew what she was thinking, that he knew that she wanted to put it off. She nodded anyway. As much as she would prefer to just stay with him, something told her that he was no more enthusiastic about her progressing. There was something that she needed to do, and he was making sure that she did it, regardless of what he wanted. And if he was sacrificing what he wanted, Phoenix wasn’t about to undermine him. Finding that she now had a reason to do more than monitor the world around her, Phoenix began to try to keep focused on her immediate surroundings. The little pleasantries were nice, but she needed to understand what her purpose was. After all, it was the only reason she was back in this realm.
The food was ready as quickly as he had promised. Again Phoenix got a feeling that she was being fed things that were her favorites, which made it that much easier to keep her mind on the present. Orion chatted a bit, and she tried to respond when she understood what he meant. He talked about people whom she knew should be in her memories somewhere, but she was finding it very difficult to remember anything about most of them. The only names that stood out to her were Itzel and Caspian.
“Itzel?” Phoenix cut into what he was saying.
Orion nodded, “Yes, she is finally acting more like herself. Of course, I do not believe that she has been pining this entire time, but trying to find who she wanted to be. It hasn’t exactly been easy given the circumstances. If I hadn’t known how much it would hurt Caspian, I would have saved her a lot of trouble a long time ago, but it was either let her get hurt or destroy everything he has worked for. Clearly, there was never much of a question. He has that reputation for a reason, I just think she thought she could show him a different life that might actually make him happy. Not knowing, of course, that it wouldn’t work.”