Zoey: Yes, Tucker mentioned to Devin who told Erin that he came over after we left. What happened?
Oh good. Tucker couldn’t keep his damn mouth shut. Great.
Me: I’m at the grocery store. Be home in a bit.
I didn’t explain, but I knew I would have to when I saw them.
Erin: You better explain.
Yeah, I’d have to. But explain what? The fact that I was an idiot? That I made poor decisions?
I was pretty sure they already knew that.
A little deflated because I would soon have to relive the previous night, I quickly decided to go with an apple pie instead of looking up a new recipe, and then went to check out.
Traffic was easy on my way home, so I beat Erin and Zoey to my place and started working on the pie.
I decided to go with a pre-made crust, mostly because I didn’t have a lot of time. I hoped he wouldn’t notice or care. It wasn’t really baking, but it would have to do.
Maybe I’d actually make a real pie for him some other time.
Before I could lament more about going with a pre-made crust considering that it wasn’t really baking, the doorbell rang. I sighed.
Time to step up.
Zoey and Erin were at the door as if they’d already been together, and I narrowed my eyes.
“So, is the inquisition going to begin, then?” I asked, a little snap to my voice.
Erin’s eyes widened, and Zoey took a step back.
Okay, I guess there was a little bit more than just a little bite to my tone.
“What do you mean, an inquisition?” Zoey asked, her voice timid.
“We were worried about you.”
“Come on in. It’s cold out. And you don’t need to worry about me. I’m fine.”
I took a step back, and the others came in. I tried to calm my insides. I didn’t want to sound rude, or like a bitch. But I was tired. And it felt like I kept making mistakes. I didn’t want to relive it with my friends.
Except they were my friends. I should be able to tell them anything. Right?
“Apparently, after you left, I didn’t close the door all the way. When Tucker drove by—I’m still not sure why—he saw the door open and came in. And I drank a little too much tequila after you left.”
“You were drinking wine when we left. Not even a lot of it. You went to tequila?” Erin asked. And there it was again. The pity. I hated the pity.
“Well, I had a bad day. I felt like tequila was what I needed. Not that I’m ever going to do it again.”
“And did anything happen?” Erin asked, a little hope in her voice. Well, that wasn’t good. There was nothing between Tucker and me. Something I was very sure about, and something I hoped they’d be sure about soon, too.
“No. He just took care of me. I still can’t believe Tucker told my brother.” I grumbled the last bit as I slid the pie into the oven, but I didn’t miss the look shared between my friends.
“Well, I was in the other room when he was talking to Devin. He had to drop something off or something. I’m not sure. Anyway, I don’t think he meant to tell him. More like Devin asked what Tucker did last night, and he mentioned seeing you. It didn’t sound weird or anything. But I don’t think anyone wants to hide anything, you know? We’re all friends. We take care of each other.”
“I know we do. I was just surprised.”
I was not going to mention the whole naked thing, or the fact that he’d slept over. Because by the sound of it, Tucker hadn’t mentioned that, and I wasn’t going to be the one that opened that bag of kittens.
“I’m fine. Tucker made sure I didn’t swallow my tongue or anything. And he took the tequila away.”
“Like a good friend,” Zoey said. “You know what I mean, a friend hands you the tequila, and then makes sure you don’t go overboard with it. You should have told us you were going to start drinking the hard stuff. We could’ve stayed.”
“Totally. In fact, it was because I went out drinking and had tequila that I met Devin again,” Erin put in. “It’s sort of my drink.”
I smiled and shook my head, cleaning up around the kitchen as the girls helped me. They didn’t even have to ask, they just jumped right in, helping me put things away. I grinned. I would do the same for them. It was nice that they felt comfortable enough in my home to do that.
Zoey had been my friend for a while, but we had gotten closer over the past few months. I only knew Erin in passing when we were growing up, but now that she was with my brother, we were close.
I also spent a lot of time with my sister-in-law, Thea, but since she was an hour away, I didn’t see her as much as I would like.
I should drive down soon and go see them. And, of course, get some cake at Thea’s bakery. The fact that I had two bakers in my family now was quite a treat. And though I was the one baking a pie today, and especially considering that it was practically store-bought, it wouldn’t be as good as theirs. But it was fine. I wasn’t going to eat this one anyway. Even if just the thought of it made me want to go back on the elliptical so I could try a slice.
“So, have you heard from Tobey?” Zoey asked, a little cautious.
I held back a wince, even if it felt as if someone were scraping out my heart.
But I would be fine. We would be friends again. We needed to talk.
Eventually.
“No. But it’s okay.”
I think we all knew that was a lie, but nobody was going to say it. It was going to be all right.
“Maybe he needs to see you going out on dates,” Erin said. “I know it won’t be easy, but when you’re ready, maybe going out and having some fun and just being with someone will not only help you but also help him see that you’re over him or whatever.”
“Yeah, that’s a great idea. I’m sure between Erin and I, we could find someone for you.”
I knew that they were trying to help. But the fact that I didn’t know how anyone could help meant that it hurt. I didn’t know what to say, and I didn’t know what to do.
But I would figure it out. I had to.
Though merely the idea of dating someone other than Tobey hurt. I needed to talk to him. I needed it to be okay.
But I didn’t know how to do that.
I didn’t think there was any way to do that.
“Maybe,” I said, knowing it didn’t really sound like I meant it.
But they let me be, and we talked about nothing. Just pie and the fact that I was bringing it to Tucker later as a thank you. Oh, and tequila. We talked about that, too.
These were my friends, people I could count on. And I would be able to rely on Tobey again, too.
I had to believe that.
The girls left, and I had a feeling that they were going to try setting me up on dates soon if I wasn’t careful. I wasn’t ready for that. But they wanted to help, so they were latching on to the one thing they could do.
I set the pie to cool and went to let my hair out of its braid, the waves falling around my face.
I quickly put on some makeup and changed my shirt.
I wasn’t getting ready for Tucker necessarily, but the fact that I’d been a complete mess and half-naked the last time he saw me told me that I needed to step it up a bit. I wasn’t trying to look good for him. Not in the slightest. Just trying to look good for myself.
To prove to myself and him that I wasn’t a complete dork.
I quickly put the pie in a carrier, one that I had gotten for Christmas one year and was thankful I had stored away in a cupboard, and headed over to Tucker’s.
I hadn’t called or texted to see if he was even there. Hopefully, I wouldn’t have to leave it on his porch where it could freeze.
Apparently, I wasn’t really firing on all cylinders right now.
I parked in Tucker’s driveway, though I still didn’t know if he was home. He parked in the garage, so I couldn’t tell if his vehicle was here. Then I grabbed the pie and got out of my truck, hoping he was home. It was cold as I wal
ked up, and that’s when I realized that I really had no idea what I was going to say.
Thanks for not commenting on my boobs.
Oh, yeah, that’s what I should lead with.
I rang the doorbell and waited for a bit, long enough that I was afraid he wasn’t home.
Great. This wasn’t going to be awkward at all. Leaving a pie on the doorstep, then having to text that I had done so.
Thanks for taking away the tequila, here’s pie.
Cold pie that’s probably ruined and practically store-bought.
Dear God, I was a mess.
No wonder Tobey didn’t want me.
And that was enough of that. No more pity parties. He was my friend. I just wasn’t going to be in love with him anymore. And I was going to thank Tucker for helping me out in a bad situation. Everything would go back to normal.
The door opened, and my eyes went to a very wet, very naked chest.
Dear God and everything that’s holy and sweaty and delicious.
I had slept against that chest all night, yet I still couldn’t believe what I was seeing.
It was all hard lines and plains, and every inch of him was slick and ready for teeth.
It looked as if he had just gotten out of the shower, his hair falling over his face before he used his arm to slick it back. I couldn’t help but follow the long lines of his biceps as they bulged when he did so.
I swallowed hard, avoiding his face, my gaze sliding down his body, across his muscled chest, down his eight-pack—not even a six, an eight—and then along the long lines of his torso.
He had those V lines, the ones that some called the Adonis lines. I called them lickable, biteable ones.
Oh, yes, they were the come-to-Mama lines.
I was going to hell.
But I couldn’t help but look at those grooves, or the neat trail of hair that led to where his towel rested very low on his hips.
So low, in fact, I caught a sexy glimpse of thigh at the gap in his towel.
It wasn’t even secured, except for his fingers grabbing it tightly in a fist.
Dear, God.
I’d known my brother’s best friend was hot, but I didn’t realize he was this hot.
He was like all the good Chrises rolled up into one Avenger. And naked.
Yep, I was going to hell.
“You okay there, Amelia?”
My eyes shot up to his face, and I saw the laughter there.
“I baked you a pie,” I said and shoved it at him.
He used his free hand to grab it from me. Thankfully, he didn’t release the towel.
That would have been awkward.
But again, I had gotten mostly naked in front of him already. It should be his turn.
No, there would be no turns.
This was bad. This was so, so bad.
“You baked me a pie?”
I nodded quickly. “Yes. And…thanks for the tequila. I mean, thanks for taking care of me after the tequila. Anyway, it’s cold, and your nipples are hard.”
I snapped my lips shut, and he threw back his head and laughed.
“Yeah, it is cold enough that my nipples are hard. Thanks for noticing. Do you want to come in?”
“I really don’t.”
I really did. No, I did not.
“Okay, thanks for the pie. You didn’t have to do that.”
“Yeah, I did. So, I’m going to go home now. But thanks again. Seriously. I don’t know what I would have done without you.”
“I’ll always try to be there for you.” His eyes went somber, and his smile was a little soft. “You’re practically family, Amelia. Of course, I’ll be there.”
I ignored the little clutch I felt at the word family because it really didn’t matter. He was family. He was practically my brother’s brother. And there were rules about that.
Even though I would likely have some really dirty thoughts about him later. I couldn’t help it. He was in a towel.
“Well, I should go. Good luck with your towel.”
Sheer mortification rolled through me again, and I ran toward my truck.
His laughter followed me, and I resisted the urge to flip him off. I was going to hell, but it would be fun on the way.
I was doing my best to force out the visions of what lay under that towel as I pulled into my driveway—and almost slammed into the garage door.
Someone was on my porch. Someone I wanted to see with every fiber of my being, though someone I knew I couldn’t see.
I turned off my truck and slowly got out, trying to calm my heartbeat. Attempting to swallow the bile in the back of my throat.
Why was my mouth so dry? And why were my hands so damp?
Tobey stood up and slid his hands into his pants’ pockets.
His hair flopped over his face, but he didn’t move it back. It took everything within me not to race over there and do it for him.
I used to have that right. At least I thought I had.
Now, I had clearly crossed a line, and I didn’t know if I could ever come back from that.
“You’re here,” I said, surprising myself.
“We need to talk,” he said. I nodded.
“Yeah, we do. And I need to apologize. Why don’t we go inside?”
“We need to talk right now, okay?”
I nodded tightly, drawing in my stomach. “Okay.”
“You’re still my friend, Amelia.”
“That’s good because I always want to be. You’re my friend, too, Tobey.”
“You’re always going to be my friend.”
There was an episode of The Big Bang Theory when someone said that the word always didn’t sound good every time. This was one of those times. Always made it worse.
“Let’s just forget about everything. Let’s start from where we were before all of this happened.”
I didn’t miss the wince that flashed across his face, and my heart shattered a bit more. A little clink sounded as a piece fell off, metal on a tile floor as it echoed throughout the cavernous hole of my soul.
“I need some time.” He swallowed hard, and I looked directly into his eyes, hoping that he wasn’t about to break the rest of me. But I had to remember, this was my fault. This was all my fault. “Beth needs some time, too.”
Beth. Okay.
“You told her.”
“She’s my everything, Amelia. I told you that. I had to tell her.”
“I thought I was your everything.”
I hadn’t meant to say the words, and my eyes widened as I did. He simply looked at me, that same pitying expression I’d been getting a lot lately on his face. I hated it.
“You know what? Forget I said that. Time. We can do time.”
“It might be a lot of time. Beth? She means everything to me. And it’s just different now with you.”
I smiled and kept nodding. I couldn’t say anything. What was so different?
Yes, I had professed something to him, but he hadn’t told me about her. Why hadn’t he said anything? I could have saved us a lot of pain.
If she was his everything and I wasn’t, why hadn’t he mentioned her to me? To anyone?
And why did it hurt so much that he hadn’t?
He kept looking at me, and then he walked away. He didn’t touch me, didn’t say a word. He didn’t even say goodbye.
Why did that hurt so much?
And why did I feel as if I had just lost my best friend?
I slowly walked into the house, closed the door behind me, and then sat on the floor, my back against the wood.
The tears fell, and I hated myself. Because I didn’t want to cry anymore. I didn’t want to feel that pity, especially for myself.
But I didn’t know how else to feel.
Because I had thought I loved my best friend. But what if I was wrong? What if I didn’t know anything?
Chapter 6
Tucker
Out of all the reasons I was going to hell, one of them was undoubtedly the fact th
at I couldn’t stop waking up in the mornings with my hand around my cock in response to very sexy dreams involving the sweet sister of a friend that I shouldn’t even be thinking about.
I wasn’t a teenager anymore, but apparently, that’s what my dick did. I thought of Amelia in my sleep, had various dreams of us fucking on different pieces of furniture around my house and hers, then woke up either needing to come or already coming in my sheets.
I’d given up sleeping in pajamas at this point, it only added laundry. But that meant I had to wash my sheets, over and over again.
It was exhausting, and I had to work.
I also had to face Devin every time I saw him and hope like hell that he didn’t know that I was thinking dirty thoughts about his sister. That I was doing wicked things to her every night in my mind.
What the hell was wrong with me? Sure, I loved women. I’d been with my fair share of them. I wasn’t a complete manwhore, but my number wasn’t that small either.
I was safe, clean, and liked having sex.
I could probably go out and find a date if I needed one. Maybe I should. Perhaps it’d get my mind off Amelia.
But that was really fucking hard to do when all I did was think of her, even when I shouldn’t.
I needed to get over this by being the man I should be.
By being her friend.
Because thinking about her any other way would likely get my dick ripped off by her big brother. Maybe even by Amelia herself.
Because, yeah, she liked the way I looked. I could tell. It was hard not to notice when she kept looking at me the way she did when I was in that towel. It was really difficult not to get hard in front of her.
If she’d kept looking at me like that, I wouldn’t have been able to hide my erection.
As it was, I’d held pretty tightly to my control, trying not to lose it.
But she’d looked, practically smacking her lips together and licking them.
Much as I’d done when she took off her shirt in front of me.
The difference was, she had been drunk and hadn’t really known what she was doing.
I was not an asshole. Okay, I was, but I wasn’t a sadistic pervert or anything.
That meant I needed to be Amelia’s friend. And that was why I was in the grocery store, picking up a few things for her house.
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