He’d never understand people who didn’t like dogs. His fur baby was the best. On days like today, when he just felt so helpless and raw, her unconditional love and instinctive understanding made the pain a little easier to process.
His cell pinged with an incoming text message.
P: You off today?
The darkness faded even more as he read the question from Pru.
F: Yup. Just got off a few hours ago. Wanna hang?
Over the past few weeks things between him and Pru had been…off. They’d been texting, hung out a few times. But there had been no discussion of their night together. They both avoided bringing up the topic, and at times he felt like he was walking on eggshells around Pru. He didn’t like it. One of the things he cherished most about their relationship was their ability to talk openly and honestly about anything. But their drunken one-night stand was apparently something they were brushing under the rug to pretend as if it never happened.
He refused to examine why that thought caused a little ping of sadness to hit him square in the gut.
His eyes focused on the three little dots, indicating she was typing, for what seemed like forever.
“Gee, Pru, composing an essay?”
Bruiser barked in his arms at the mention of her other favorite human. He waited, wondering what long and complex message his friend could be sending his way. Then the text finally came through.
P: Yeah.
Huh. Maybe there’d been a connection error or something.
His thumb flew over the screen as Bruiser settled into the crook of his left arm.
F: Grab dinner at Benny’s?
Her response came much faster this time.
P: How about I grab takeout and bring it over after I finish up some work stuff? Around six?
Worked for him. Though he was feeling better, he still wasn’t in the emotional state to be around a huge, noisy crowd of people. It always took him a little bit to recover from a fatality scene.
F: Sounds good. See u then.
P: Later.
Finn spent the next few hours making sure the place was picked up—which took all of thirty minutes in the tiny space—taking Bruiser out to the dog run down the street for some playtime and then hitting the shower. He’d just finished getting dressed when a soft knock sounded on his front door.
Bruiser went crazy, barking like a dog possessed.
“Calm down, Bru.”
The pup didn’t listen, instead increasing her yips as he opened the door to reveal Pru holding a sack from which mouthwatering smells of cheese and spices emanated.
“Did you get me enchiladas?”
“Yup. And the steak fajitas.”
His stomach growled in anticipation of the best Mexican food Denver had to offer.
“You are a goddess. I am not worthy of your friendship.”
“True.” She laughed, handing over the bag and stepping inside. “But you got it anyway.”
Lucky him.
“Hey, Bruiser,” Pru cooed to his small dog, who was currently attacking her leg with puppy kisses. “How you doing, girl?”
Pru bent down as he closed the door behind her. Bruiser hopped into her arms, the dog’s tiny wet nose sniffing like crazy. Probably smelled the food on Pru’s coat. He had no idea where his small pup put the endless stream of food she consumed.
“Want to watch something while we eat?”
“Um, actually, can we talk first?”
He nearly dropped the food but managed to keep hold of the bag and deposit it on the coffee table. Can we talk was never followed by anything good. From anyone. He turned to see Pru standing just inside his apartment, a slight frown marring her face.
“Is something wrong?”
She hugged his dog tight to her. Bruiser had nudged her face into Pru’s midsection, sniffing around like the woman had bacon in her pockets or something. Crazy dog, didn’t she know he had all the food?
“No, I mean, yes. I mean…maybe?”
How could something be maybe wrong?
“Come here.” He held out his hand, and she came willingly into his embrace. Bruiser yipped when he accidently squeezed too tight, squishing the tiny dog between them. “Sorry, Bru baby.”
He pulled back to stare down at Pru’s worried face. For one moment, her familiar features morphed into the face of the poor woman who’d died in the crash. He shook his head, banishing the image. It happened sometimes. When he experienced a traumatic scene, the images popped up at unexpected times. He was still decompressing. Death, even the death of a stranger, left an impact.
As hard as it was for him, he knew it was a million times worse for the poor woman’s family. The exact reason he didn’t want a family of his own. He’d seen the devastation losing a loved one caused first hand. But Pru wasn’t dead on the pavement somewhere. She was fine. Here, in his apartment. Worried about something, but not dead.
“No matter what it is, everything will be okay.”
“I know.” She took a deep breath, stepping back. “Have some food first. Then we’ll talk.”
Right, like he’d be able to eat one bite now knowing something was bothering her. But bodily functions sometimes trumped nerves, and somehow Finn found himself devouring the delicious meal in less than ten minutes. Pru had her usual beef and bean burrito, which she ate while sneakily feeding bits of meat to Bruiser, who had yet to leave the woman’s lap.
“You want a drink?”
She held up her bag, pulling her water bottle out from the side pouch. “I’m good.”
“Okay, so what did you want to talk about?”
“Right, um, hold on.”
She dug through her purse, rifling about in the cavernous depths. He wondered what she could be searching for. For all he knew, she had a full cheesecake in there. He’d dug through that thing before in search of gum. He never found the gum, though he had found bandages, pens, a notepad with various numbers and calculations on it, a half-eaten granola bar, hand sanitizer, one of Bruiser’s chew toys, and a couple of tampons, which he first mistook for candy.
She laughed for a solid ten minutes when he asked if he could have one. He didn’t think he’d ever live down that embarrassment. But in his defense, he grew up with four brothers. How was he supposed to know what a tiny, packaged to-go feminine product looked like?
“Crap!” she exclaimed, but the curse was muffled by the bag. “Where is it? I had it all written down.”
She’d written down what she wanted to say to him? It must be important.
“I can’t be losing my mind already—it’s only been a few days.”
“Pru.” He placed a hand on her shoulder, pausing her frantic searching. “Just tell me what’s up.”
Abandoning her bag of mysteries, she glanced up, determination replacing the panic. There was his Pru.
Nothing could faze her for long. Not even losing whatever well-planned speech she’d prepared for him. Though why she thought she needed to plan out what she wanted to say was beyond him. They were best friends. She could say whatever she wanted. No planning required.
Could be about that night.
He swallowed the panic rising in his chest. Did she regret it? Want a repeat? Want to wipe it from her memory and pretend like it never happened? Honestly, he wasn’t sure which option freaked him out more.
“Okay, here goes.” She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath before opening them again and staring straight at him. “I’m pregnant.”
“Oh.” A myriad of emotions flew across his synapses in a matter of seconds: shock, happiness, worry, sadness. He wasn’t sure why that last one was in there, but he ignored it and focused on the most important one. “Congratulations! I didn’t even know you’d picked a donor yet.”
“I didn’t.” She shook her head. “I mean, I did, but I didn’t get to use his…um…donation.”
“Huh?”
Now he was confused. He knew she was planning to get inseminated—still a weird thing to know about his
best friend—but how could she be pregnant if she hadn’t picked a…
Oh shit.
The reality of the situation sunk in.
Pru’s nervousness, her need to talk, the planned-out speech… She wasn’t just pregnant, she was pregnant with—
“You mean, I’m the… You and me… We…” Apparently the only thing it took to turn him into a blubbering moron was knocking up his best friend.
Knocking up.
His best friend.
She nodded, smoothing down her ponytail the way she always did when she was nervous. “Yeah. I guess in the, um, excitement of everything, and with the alcohol, we kind of forgot about protection.”
Damn. He’d never forgotten the rubber before, but now that he thought about it, he couldn’t remember using one or asking about birth control. He’d just been so lost in what had been happening, it completely slipped his mind. And, yeah, he might have had one shot too many. The logistics of how they’d gone from watching TV to naked in his bed that night were a little hazy.
“Shit, Pru. I am so sorry. I never forget. I swear. And I’m clean. I just had my physical a few months ago, and I haven’t been with anyone except you since, and—”
“Finn, stop.” She held up a hand. “I know. I don’t blame you. Honestly, for a second after I found out, I was worried you might, um, blame me. Think I was using you to get a baby or something.”
That was the stupidest thing he’d ever heard. Pru would never pull anything so underhanded or cruel. Plus, she’d told him about her solo mommy plans. Why would she seduce him to try and get pregnant when she already had a plan? He knew better. Knew her better.
“I would never think that of you. We had a little too much to drink. We both got caught up in the moment. We’re both at fault.”
Though secretly, he blamed himself. He should have remembered. He should have protected her.
“So, what now?”
“I wanted a baby.” She nodded, back in Practical Pru mode. “And now, well, I’m going to have one. Maybe not the way I planned, but I want this baby, Finn.”
He knew that, and he would never try and stop her from getting what she wanted. What kind of friend would he be if he did? A shitty one. And Finn Jamison might be a lot of things, but a shitty friend was not one of them.
“Okay.”
In a way, it was sort of cool how he’d helped her achieve her dream. Not everyone would understand it, but people could go screw themselves. Pru wanted something and, in a roundabout way, he’d helped make it happen. Wasn’t that what friends were supposed to do?
Friends don’t knock each other up just because one of them wants a baby.
Well some friends do, apparently.
“Okay?”
He shrugged. “Yeah, I mean, this is what you wanted, right? A baby?” She nodded. “Then I’m really happy for you, Pru.”
“You are?”
“Yeah.”
The shock of the situation still had him reeling, but he absolutely loved the smile brightening her face. She was happy, more so than he’d ever seen her. How could he be upset by that?
Still, her happiness wasn’t the only thing to think about here.
“Do you, ah, do you want me involved?”
Her smile stilted, confusion filling her features. “Do you want to be involved?”
“I…don’t know.”
He’d never imagined himself as a father. He loved being an uncle. His nieces and nephews were great, but the greatest thing about them was spoiling them rotten, then handing them back to their parents.
Parents. He was going to be someone’s father.
Did he want to be a father? He kind of was one, regardless. The baby inside Pru held half of his DNA. That made him a father, but it didn’t make him a dad. Everyone had a father, a biological donor, but it took time and caring to be a dad. Help with homework, playing catch in the backyard, advice on dealing with bullies and puberty. That’s what a dad did. It’s what his had done.
Could he do that knowing it could all be taken away in the blink of an eye? One bad fire, one unsteady building, one bad rescue and he’d be leaving a child who depended on him.
No one is guaranteed tomorrow.
Oh great, and now his dad’s favorite phrase rang in his head. Not even a father yet and he was already turning into his old man.
But the more important question was, did Pru want him to be involved? She started this journey with the specific desire to go solo.
“Do you want me to be involved?”
Dark brown eyes stared at him, a million questions he couldn’t decipher running through her gaze.
“Right now?” She shook her head. “I have no idea what I want besides this baby.”
Her hands moved over her abdomen, and his gaze followed. There was a baby in there. Their baby. It was weird and scary and amazingly awesome all at the same time.
So much for sex not changing anything.
“I have an appointment in a few weeks to hear the heartbeat and have an ultrasound.”
“An ultrasound? Is everything okay?”
She smiled at his slight panic. “Yes. That’s just what they do at the first appointment. To check everything out and make sure things are where they’re supposed to be and growing properly.”
“Oh, cool.” He was going to have to hit the web and look up some baby stuff tonight. “Do you want me to go with you?”
“Do you want to go with me?”
They were stuck in a loop. Neither knowing what they wanted, both trying to think of the other. It’s why their friendship worked so well, but it made for hard times picking dinner plans.
Or baby decisions, evidently.
“Yeah. I mean, if that’s okay with you. I’d like to go and…be supportive and stuff.”
She chuckled at his use of the word stuff. Excuse him, but this was new territory and he wasn’t familiar with all the nomenclature.
“Okay. That’d be nice to have you there for all the support and stuff.”
“Oh, shut up.”
“Hey! You can’t be mean to me. I’m pregnant.”
“Oh God, you’re going to use that excuse for the next nine months, aren’t you?”
She grinned. “Yup.”
“Then I take back my supportive statement.”
She grabbed a couch cushion and flung it at his head. He dodged it, wrapping an arm around her shoulder and tugging her into his side. He ruffled her hair, which she immediately complained about before settling against him.
“Seriously, Pru. I know this is all weird and not how you planned it, but if you’re happy, that’s all that matters.”
“I’m happy, Finn. Really, really happy.”
He flicked on the TV, cueing up their favorite show.
“Then I’m happy.”
He pasted on a bright smile, but inside, his mind was screaming. His palms sweating with the life-changing news that had just been dropped in his lap, heart beating so loudly he was afraid Pru could hear it. Bruiser stared at him with her dark, puppy-dog eyes, head tilted in a question. He reached out to pat his intuitive dog on her furry head, hiding his fingers in her fur when he noticed them trembling.
He was happy for Pru. She was getting what she wanted, and though he was glad he could help, it meant he was also getting something he never wanted. A child whose world he could possible destroy.
So yeah, he was happy for her, but he was also scared as hell.
Chapter Eight
“Pru.” Lilly pushed her glasses up her nose, staring at the file in her hands. “Did you send the deposit check for the Miranda-Snow wedding?”
“Hey!” Mo snatched the file from Lilly’s hands. “No more work. We’re three feet from home. We agreed to stop taking work home.”
“Home is one flight of stairs up.” Lilly made a grab for the file, but Mo was quick and shoved it behind her back.
Pru laughed softly. About all the energy she had in her at the moment. Who knew this baby-growing
thing would be so exhausting? She was only about a month along, but every day her body felt like she’d run a 5k. And without the benefit of multiple cups of coffee, she had to admit, she was struggling.
Worth it.
Yes, it was all worth it. The lack of energy, the nausea, all of it. She’d endure whatever she had to because it meant she would soon hold her sweet baby in her arms. Arms that at the moment literally ached. Partly from tiredness, but mostly from the desire to be filled with a loving soul who needed her, a person whose whole world depended on her.
Lilly held out a firm hand. “Give that back, Moira. Right now!”
Mo bobbed her eyebrows. “Oooh, whaddaya gonna do if I don’t?”
As entertaining as it could be to watch Mo push Lilly’s buttons, Pru didn’t have the energy for it tonight.
“Mo, give her back the file, and Lilly, yes I handled the deposit, but Mo is right. We did agree to leave work downstairs.”
Mo handed back the folder, aiming a bright smile Pru’s way.
“What?”
Her friend shrugged. “Nothing. I was just thinking you should thank us.”
Reaching their front door, Pru dug her keys out of her purse, inserting the metal apartment key into the lock as she spoke over her shoulder. “For what?”
“For all the years of practice we’ve given you. Just think of all the fights you’ve settled between Lil and me.”
“We don’t fight,” Lilly said with a frown. “We disagree.”
Mo rolled her eyes, sharing a smile with Pru. “You’re going to rock motherhood.”
She found the energy for an actual laugh at that true statement, but the moment she opened their apartment door, she heard a noise that caused her laughter to die. Someone was in their apartment. A loud thud and some muffled cursing came from the back of the hallway. One of the bedrooms.
Were they being robbed?
Heart in her throat, she turned to her roommates. Mo’s face had gone pale as a ghost, Lilly had her cell in her hand, fingers already dialing for the authorities, Pru assumed. As quietly as she could—she didn’t want to alert any bad guys to their presence, she’d seen her fair share of crime shows, that was how a B&E turned into a homicide—she started to back away from the door when a familiar voice shouted a very creative curse.
The Best Friend Problem Page 8