by Tia Didmon
“That remains to be seen,” he said.
Kiki tried not to let her excitement show. She loved spelunking and rarely got time off to do it. She ignored the excitement of a trip with him. “Where is the cave?”
“The mountains in Canada.”
“I will come if you tell me how the gun works,” she said.
Jordane took Kiki’s weapon from its holster, inspecting it. “I believe the material housing the crystal is preventing the merge. This device is dangerous. I cannot guess how long this segregation will last. You do not have control of this weapon.”
“We can activate and detonate. How can you explain that?”
He ran his fingers over the gun casing. “The deactivation is you releasing the weapon. Without contact the crystal returns to its dormant state.”
“It works as long as it can’t read our biometrics. If it can’t it goes dormant again.”
Jordane tapped his chest. “What you call biometrics, I call a soul.”
She shook her head. “It’s a weapon. Not god. It doesn’t read my soul... if I have one.”
He squinted, returning her gun. “How can you doubt such a thing? You are alive...”
“I’m not here for a physiological debate. Tell me about the detonation. There have been a few incidents,” she said.
“The crystal cannot be used in a conscious act of evil. It will destroy itself.”
Kiki frowned. “I don’t understand what you mean by a conscious act. If you kill you’re evil... right?”
Jordane shook his head. “No. If you take a knife and intentionally kill a man. You have committed murder. If a man comes at you with a knife and you kill him in self defense, that is not murder.”
“It isn’t just self defense...”
“No, there are many instances where the crystal allows another’s death. Protection of you, your family, the demon race, but the crux of the issue is intent and that has a gray area.”
Conversation had never been Kiki’s thing yet she found herself interested in everything he said. Her mind as engaged as her body. “How so?”
“If a man comes at you with a knife and you kill him, it is a justified kill. If that same man attacks you and you kill him only to find out he was coerced into the attack, that someone holds his family hostage, then he was innocent though the result remains the same.”
Her stomach clenched. “How do I know the difference?”
“You won’t always know. The crystal judges your intent. Your soul. Regardless of the outcome. Whether it is right or wrong. A warrior can never make a mistake and live,” he said.
“If I or any member of my team knowingly kills an innocent...”
“You die.”
She bit her thumbnail. “The PIA has found a way to destroy a gun remotely. I’m not sure how.”
Jordane rubbed his chin. “You said there is a lag time before the crystal realizes it isn’t with the correct host.”
“Yes. A half hour. If you have the code.”
Jordane stopped, looking up a mimosa tree. His forehead creased. “If they can trick the crystal, even for a half hour. Think of the destruction your agency could accomplish.”
“They wouldn’t...”
“They stole a resource belonging to the demon people and weaponized it. Don’t tell me what they will and will not do,” he said harshly.
The need to protect the agency and the people in it, rose fiercely. “They’re scared.”
Jordane’s eyes narrowed. “Demons have done nothing to interfere with human evolution. Yes, there have been unstable individuals but they were few. I know as I carried out or ordered every one of those executions.”
Kiki swallowed hard. Part of her didn’t want the answer but she had to know. “How many humans have you killed?”
“I have never killed a human.”
Her heart squeezed. He was telling the truth and that made her next words difficult. The pain of her confession seeped through every word. “I’ve killed... a lot of people. I’m not what you think I am.”
She was always in control of her surroundings. Every move. Every word thought out beforehand. He was ruining her hard-fought control and wasn’t listening to her. “I need to call Zane.”
Jordane’s eyes flickered. “Why?”
“Because he’s my squad leader. I report to him.”
He glanced away. “For now. Make your call.”
She hated his dismissive tone. As if he were humoring her and his patience was wearing thin. Maybe Zane was right. Jordane was too much to handle. She pulled up Zane’s contact on her phone.
“Where the fuck are you?” Zane snapped.
“Good day to you too, ass wipe,” Kiki said.
Zane blew out a breath. “Sorry. I’m on edge.”
“Everything okay?”
“Kat is rifling through hundreds of files trying to figure out who the next target will be.”
“You think they’re going after more women?”
“They took another an hour ago. They also killed a man. He was a twenty-four-year-old college student. He had no ties to us but the card read hybrid kill. Courtesy of PURE.”
Kiki rubbed her forehead. “The Ladon want PURE in the spotlight taking the heat off the abductions.”
“Yeah, that’s what we think too. Do you think PURE knows they are being run by demons?” Zane asked.
She hated being two steps behind. Louis Lestant was unscrupulous, evil and smart. “I doubt it. The Ladon were careful to keep their existence a secret.”
“We need to expose the Ladon to PURE.”
“That won’t stop them from hating demons. It will probably make them worse.”
“It will make them target all demons, including the Ladon,” Zane said.
Kiki glanced at Jordane watching her. “I suppose.”
“You didn’t call me for an update on the scene here. What do you need?”
“I need to take a trip with Jordane.”
“No fucking way,” Zane growled.
“I wasn’t asking permission, Zane. Jenner could give me that.”
“I’m still your superior,” Zane said.
“And I called you before leaving,” she snapped.
“Why do you need to go with... him?”
“We need more info on the crystals. Jordane is taking me to some form of demon holy ground. From my conversations with him, I think we are all in danger.”
Zane was quiet for a long time. “I think he’s manipulating you. He will use any excuse to get you alone.”
“Maybe but he isn’t lying, and he has control over our weapons. I think we’re in a world of shit if we don’t address this.”
“You know what he wants.”
Kiki cleared her throat. “Yes, I do.”
Zane’s tone dropped. “The same thing I do.”
She put her palm to her head. “I have to go.” She hung up, turning to face Jordane’s flaming green eyes.
“I warned him,” Jordane said.
“He did nothing and didn’t interfere with our... whatever this is.”
“He continues to pursue you.”
“So… do… you.”
“You are mine,” Jordane roared.
Kiki assessed the large angry man. Surprised she didn’t feel threatened. She worried for Zane but felt a tingle of excitement. Jordane wasn’t the kind of man you pushed yet that’s exactly what she wanted to do. “My promise stands. I won’t touch Zane, but if you hurt him, I will never speak to you or trust you again.”
Jordane’s eyes dimmed. “You are very... difficult.”
Kiki huffed. “Because I won’t let you beat up my boss.”
He touched her hair. “There would not be a beating. We do not believe in unnecessary torture.”
“You will not touch him. He may be a jerk, even a royal pain in my ass but he’s a good man. We need him.”
Jordane ran a finger along her cheek. “Come with me and I will agree not to touch your leader without provocation.”
&n
bsp; She tried not to let the delicate touch of his fingers affect her speech. Her body was already heating. Little bursts of energy flickered beneath her skin, begging for more. “That’s not much of a bargain. You provoke easily.”
Jordane dropped his hand. “I suppose when it concerns you, I do.”
Kiki missed his touch. No, she yearned for it. That had never happened. She’d never needed another human being. Her body begged for him to caress her again. “I will go with you if you promise Zane is off limits unless I say otherwise.”
Jordane held her gaze for a long time. “So strong. You will make an exceptional mate. An amazing mother.”
She was moving before her brain registered the mistake. As punches went. It wasn’t her best.
Chapter 4
She looked at his text. Jordane. Ruiner of all things Kiki. She had attacked him. He had laughed. She tried to hit him again, and he’d cuddled her. It was embarrassing. She’d tried everything to hit him. Just one blow to appease her ego. Nothing. He moved like water, only at warp speed. How the hell was the PIA supposed to fight demons like Jordane? They were a whole new level of scary... and sexy.
She left her apartment and got into his SUV. He seemed so normal sitting behind the wheel. At least she set him straight about opening her door for her. He let her do it herself this time. “Let’s go,” she sniped.
Jordane smiled. “You’re still upset.”
“I’m not upset.”
“I will let you hit me next time we spar.”
Kiki put her fist in the air. “If you make a comment like that again, I’m walking.”
“I am... sorry.”
She huffed. “That sounded really authentic.”
His lips twitched. “It was. I am not used to apologizing. It has been over a thousand years since I have done so.”
She sat back in her seat, processing the ramifications of his statement. “Are you serious?”
Jordane nodded. “I am the leader. My word is law. My pack cannot oppose me.”
“Well, if you expect me to follow your orders you are kidding yourself.”
“A mate is equal in a relationship. As a warrior you will follow my orders in combat. That will not be the case at home.”
Kiki’s mouth dropped. She couldn’t decide which was more annoying. The fact that he expected her to become one of his warriors and drop the PIA or that he assumed she was moving in with him... and all that other stuff couples did. “You’re confused, Jordane. I’m not a warrior...”
“You will be,” he said.
She pursed her lips. The thought of having a warrior’s strength. Speed. Was an asset she couldn’t ignore. She hadn’t been able to swat Jordane let alone connect a punch. “But that means being your bitch.”
Jordane growled. “You’re never to refer to yourself as such. You are my mate. The reason for my existence. Your happiness is of paramount importance. You being on the path to becoming a warrior is an unexpected but welcome challenge.”
“You would teach me. Train me. Even if I don’t... sleep with you.”
Jordane stilled. “This concerns you, making love to me?”
She turned away. “I’m not afraid of sex. I won’t let you force me to...”
“Kiki. I will never force you into anything. Not into becoming a warrior. Not into being with me. It’s alarming, a woman of your skill would have such concerns.”
She watched the cars blur by. “I wasn’t always an agent and I was useless against you.”
Jordane took her hand in his. “I have two thousand years of experience. I will teach you everything I can and I will ask nothing from you in return. This is a promise I can make.”
Her first instinct was to pull away but she’d never held someone’s hand. Kiki’s own mother hadn’t shown her affection. She liked it. The warmth. The kindness. It was strange and welcoming. “Okay.”
He nodded. “Will you tell me about you? Your life growing up?”
Kiki snatched her hand away. “No. I’m not here to share.”
“Why not?”
She folded her arms. “I’m sure you don’t want to give me the details on your demon ass.”
“On the contrary, I wish to tell you everything about me.”
This was what Jenner wanted yet she feared confirming he was a good man. The Moretti demons already had her questioning her perceptions. “You will tell a PIA agent about... you. The warriors.”
Jordane glanced at her. “I was born over two thousand years ago. I grew up in the mountains that you now refer to as the Rockies. My father was a warrior. He groomed me to fight from the moment I chose my animal form.”
Kiki’s heart raced. She failed to keep the interest from her voice. “Your animal form?”
“Yes. I was born a Were. As a boy I shifted into anything and everything I could think of until adolescence when I chose my final form.”
“Then you became a warrior?”
He nodded. “Yes. After the trials I took on the warrior form.”
Kiki felt anxious. Curious. Sad. Her emotions confused her. “Did you have to... give up your animal form?”
Jordane shook his head. “No. It serves no purpose for me anymore. I haven’t used that form since I became a warrior.”
Her fingers clutched the seat as she leaned forward. “But you could turn into... your animal form if you wanted to?”
“Yes.”
She knew she was showing too much interest in Jordane’s life, holding back had always been her default. He would expect reciprocation and she couldn’t do that. “Your parents must have been very proud of you and your brother.”
Jordane was quiet for a moment. “They were but they never saw Tovan grow up. Someone killed them a few months after Tovan was born.”
Kiki snapped up her head. “What?”
“I never found out who murdered them. My father and mother went for a run. She was a wolf. My father was a warrior but his animal form was a bear.”
Kiki touched his shoulder. She felt pain. Warmth. Love. It was a heady combination. “What happened?”
He squeezed her hand. “My mother hadn’t had a break from Tovan since he was born. Father wished to take her for a run. He only took his bear form when she asked him too. That day she asked it of him. Later we found them beheaded in the forest. My father was still in bear form. We never found out what happened.”
“I’m sorry, Jordane. It sounds like they were nice people.”
Jordane sighed. “I was only forty when they died. I remember my mother’s smile and how beautiful she was when she ran as a wolf. She passed on her blue eyes to my brother.”
“And your father?”
“I was angry for centuries at his failure. It wasn’t until I was the leader myself that I understood that as powerful as we are, we are nothing without our mate.”
Kiki frowned. “What does that mean?”
“They must have killed my mother first. My father allowed them to kill him. He lost the will to fight. To bring forth his warrior.”
The sadness was overpowering. She felt the emotions but was unsure what caused it. “But he had you and Tovan.”
“Had I not been an adult, I’m sure my father would have fought to get back to us but I was already training as a warrior. I was destined to be the next pack leader. He trusted I would care for my brother.”
“You raised your brother as your own child.”
“I wish that were true. While I tried to be the father mine was. I failed miserably as a mother. Tovan is lacking our mother’s compassion,” Jordane said.
Kiki could feel his pain. She hadn’t understood the bond to Jordane. Now she did. His animal was in there, hidden beneath the warrior. It’s pain and sense of defeat were real. She didn’t want to feel the connection. The need to reach out and comfort the animal within. The one left behind. Jordane had turned his back on the animal he chose, believing it weak. The reason for his parent’s death. His honesty hurt the most. He laid the ugliest parts of his life o
ut for her and she would never reciprocate. If they could kill a warrior even Jordane wasn’t safe.
No one was safe from her. “I’m sorry for your loss, Jordane.” She pulled her hand away, feeling the void form in her chest.
Jordane took Kiki’s hand every opportunity he could. She was onto his game but she was pretending not to notice. He suspected she liked her hand in his but she’d never admit it. He had wanted a challenge but never expected that a woman who weighed a hundred pounds would be his biggest yet. He was still trying to figure out what happened in the SUV. Kiki had connected with his animal. It was brief but he had sensed the pain. The betrayal. The anguish. He would revisit those feelings at a later date. He needed his mate to trust him and he knew he could lose what little she had given him if he wasn’t vigilant.
She followed him without question. Whether they had to climb over another large rock or scale a cliff inside a cavern. She never complained and tackled every obstacle with the same intense focus she employed in her job. She had a do it or die philosophy. Jordane had run across this before over the years but it concerned him that a young woman, his mate was so focused on her task that she would rather die than fail. He doubted she would ask for help either. Maybe from Laura but never from him. “The upcoming section is... rough. I would be easier and faster if you would allow me to carry you through.”
Kiki’s look was hard. Unforgiving. “I can walk if you can. Don’t baby me, Jordane.”
He nodded, thrilled with her strength. Defiance. “We must run if we want to make the caverns before nightfall.”
She frowned. “We’re in a cave. You can’t tell if it’s day or night.”
“I can tell, but you will tire... soon and there’s nowhere to rest between here and the warriors’ caverns. The upcoming area has an undesirable atmosphere.”
“Why?”
“Bats.”
Kiki sniffed. “Definitely a guano factory, smells like...”
“Shit.”
She took her face shield out of her backpack. She pulled it over her face and followed him.
It took them five hours at a steady pace. It surprised him, that she never faltered. She pushed herself to keep up, pretending to be unaffected but he knew it was a lie. She was exhausted when they reached the caverns. “The air is fine here. You can remove your face mask.”