by K T Grant
A tear fell down her cheek. Noel came around and brushed back Bianca’s hair. “Let her go.”
Bianca loosed her hold and dropped her arm to her side. Her chest heaved as she gulped in air. ”Go,” she mouthed and twisted away, dropping her face into her hands.
Noel pulled Bianca into a protective embrace, murmuring soothing words.
I was forgotten then, which allowed me to leave undetected.
I never looked back.
Chapter Sixteen
The long drive to Delpoint cleared my head. I had planned to leave the next day, but after seeing Bianca, I headed out early. I didn’t want to stay one more night alone in what would soon be my former condo. With my suitcases packed, I called Aunt Lorraine on the road. She was thrilled I was coming earlier than expected. I would meet her and the chief at The Horseman for dinner.
I was anxious to call Freddie, to tell her my news, but first I wanted to see Aunt Lorraine, knowing she would welcome me back. Things with Freddie were still up in the air. I had to take into consideration she still might reject me. If that was the case, I would have to deal with it. I wouldn’t run away like I did before. I would stay and fight for her respect and love.
I made the drive in record time with little traffic and no phone calls or text messages to interrupt. I almost surrendered from the pang of sorrow that hit me as I drove past the sign welcoming me home. I would never again hear Grandma’s voice or see her delighted face, brightened by the smile she threw my way. My loss was still too fresh and would take some time to work through. But, at least, I had my aunt for support.
I found a space near the front of the entrance to The Horseman despite the busy dinner hour. I took a few minutes to steady myself. There was a good chance Freddie would be inside helping with the dinner rush. Pulling my brush through my hair and applying a coat of lipstick, I got out of the car and strode forward.
Groups of people waited for seats in the front. I scanned the busy main dining area. The bar also had heavy volume of patrons clapping and cheering at some sporting event on the television.
In the far corner, Aunt Lorraine and the chief sat at a round table with Father Dominic. I made my way over to them, pausing when I spotted Freddie’s father and mother near the kitchen. I should stop and say hello, but then I would ask about Freddie. Who knew if they were aware of the strain between us? I joined my party.
Aunt Lorraine stood and hugged me. The chief did the same. As I sat, Father Dominic patted my back. I never liked being the center of attention, but in this case, it didn’t bother me. The strain in my shoulders vanished.
“You took care of everything you needed to in Boston?” Aunt Lorraine asked, settling back into the chief’s arm hung over the back of her chair. She rested her hand on top of his, her diamond engagement ring perfectly displayed on her finger where it belonged.
Her innocent tone didn’t fool me, but I would play along until we were alone and I told her the outcome of my morning. “I tied up all remaining loose ends. I’m now totally free.”
“It’s good to have you back,” Father Dominic said.
“We invited Father to dinner to talk about a date for the church,” Aunt Lorraine offered, and a light blush appeared on her cheeks when the chief bussed the side of her neck.
“For the wedding? You’re having a ceremony there? Don’t you want something small and quick?” I asked. She had mentioned the chief was impatient and didn’t want to have a long engagement. Planning a church wedding would take time, and the ceremony had to be booked months in advance.
“I wouldn’t mind eloping to Vegas since your aunt has never been there,” the chief said.
Aunt Lorraine shook her head at him. “We can honeymoon in Vegas, but I’m not getting married in some roadside chapel with Elvis officiating. I want Father Dominic to marry us.”
Father Dominic chuckled. “I could wear a black pompadour wig and white bell bottom jumpsuit if you’d like?”
“No!” Both Aunt Lorraine and the chief replied.
I giggled, enjoying the horror on both their faces.
Father Dominic snickered and stroked his chin. “I checked the church calendar, and I have the last Sunday in May available. Or is that too soon?”
“That works for me. I don’t want to wait any longer for Lorraine to take my last name like she should have done thirty years ago.” The tender stare the chief gave her made my eyes water in happiness.
“It will be hectic and stressful planning the wedding in such a short time, but I don’t want to wait either.” Aunt Lorraine lifted the chief’s hand to her cheek. “I want nothing more than to be Mrs. Malach finally.”
She and the chief kissed. Father Dominic clapped.
Aunt Lorraine broke the kiss. Her face had even more of a glow than before. She claimed my hand in hers. “I want you to be my maid of honor.”
“I would love to.” I swallowed the lump of emotion lodged in my throat.
If anyone deserved true happiness and love, it was my aunt.
“Is this a celebration?” Mr. Koeman approached our table and slapped the chief on the back.
“We’re making plans for our wedding.” The chief beamed like he had won the lottery.
Mr. Koeman raised his hands in the air and then went over to Aunt Lorraine and kissed her on the cheek. “This has been years in the making. Tonight, your dinner is on the house!”
Mr. Koeman then shouted out the happy occasion and the rest of the diners, most of whom I recognized from town and at the church, cheered. I noticed the one person I had been longing to see. Freddie stood off to the side near the bar with a bottle of wine. She acknowledged me with a tilt of her chin, her expression unreadable, then handed the bottle to a passing server who brought it to our table.
She then turned and disappeared in the back.
The lump I’d swallowed now lodged in my stomach, heavy and thick.
***
“Will you take some advice from an old man?”
Father Dominic joined me at the bar. During dessert, Aunt Lorraine and the chief were inundated by people congratulating them on their engagement. I had gone to the bar to drink something stronger than wine. I needed it for when I confronted Freddie, who had been lurking but had yet to come and see me.
“What type of advice, Father?” I finished my vodka gimlet, ready to order another one.
He set aside my empty glass. I guessed that was his way of cutting me off. “Colossians 3:13 says, ‘Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone.’ This Bible verse applies to you now more than ever. Freddie has forgiven you, but you still need to forgive yourself.”
I jerked my hands out of his. “How do you know?”
“She values my advice also. It will be difficult for you both if you can’t heal together.” He glanced back at my aunt and the chief, their hands locked together as they chatted. “Lorraine and Gerald worked through so many years of loneliness in order to be together. They have forgiven one another for the hurt and blame that led to their separation because they want one another.”
“But I was the one at fault. I’ve tried to make things right, but I don’t think it’s enough.” My voice hitched.
“It will be enough. We all make mistakes. The important thing to keep in mind is that you’re pure of heart. Freddie sees that like Lorraine and I do. Let your guilt go.” He set his hand on the back of my neck.
“Your idea of a benediction?” I sniffed.
“You’ll receive a better one when you return to the Church.”
I choked back a snort. He looked entirely too pleased with himself. “What makes you think I’ll come back?”
He folded his hands in front of him and gave me a smug grin.” Sacred Heart’s website needs a major overhaul. Lorraine says you’re starting a graphic arts company specializing in website design. I’ve already told my parishioners about your services. You should have many clients by the end of the month. I also need someone with yo
ur skills to update our bulletin and create flyers for events at the church.”
I wagged my finger at him, but his brazen audacity that had put me in a much better mood. “You’re sneaky, Father.”
“Stop by after noon mass on Sunday and we’ll talk about your rates.” He backed away and winked.
I sighed and climbed off the stool. It didn’t look like Aunt Lorraine and the chief wanted to leave anytime soon. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Freddie slipping out the front door.
When the bartender came over to ask if I wanted another drink, I passed. I was in the mood for something sweeter.
Only The Cozy Café’s hot chocolate would do.
***
The scent of cinnamon and rich dark-roasted coffee hung in the air, combined with the soft jazz instrumental music flowing from the speakers. Glory steamed milk at the cappuccino machine
She waved at me and smiled. “Freddie’s waiting for you in her apartment.”
I didn’t bother to hide my surprise. “She is?”
“Yup. Go on up.” She carried two drinks over to a couple sitting on the couch under the front window.
I opened the door to the stairs up to Freddie’s apartment. When I reached the top, I paused. Freddie leaned against the doorway with her arms crossed over her chest.
“Took you long enough.” She waved me in.
“How did you know I would come here?” I stepped inside and shut the door behind me. The smell of something spicy floated into my nose.
“I had a feeling you would stop by.” She set two bowls on her kitchen table. “I made my own rendition of The Horseman’s world famous beef stew and French bread. For dessert, we’ll have those scones you like and my hot chocolate you’re addicted to.”
“But I had dinner already.” My stomach let out a squeaky noise to prove the opposite.
“You didn’t eat much at the restaurant. You must be hungry now. I can put on music if you want.” She turned on the stereo system near the television, and light rock music came on.
She was right. I had been a bundle of nerves at The Horsemen ever since I saw her there. But now my appetite returned. I moved toward the table, but stopped when I noticed an opened photo album on the couch. I snuck a peek, staring at a picture of us at her sixteenth birthday party.
“You’ve been looking at pictures? Of us?” I sat down on the couch and set the album on my lap.
She joined me, sitting close enough our shoulders bumped. “I found this album in my closet yesterday.”
I flipped through the pages, viewing the pictures of us in various poses and styles of clothes. “You didn’t want to throw it out?”
“Why would I? It can’t be replaced. It’s a visual memory of all the good times we had together…when we were in love.”
I covered my mouth to stop a sob from escaping. “Oh, Freddie, I love you. I wish you knew how much.”
She tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear. “I know you do. I’m glad you came back.”
“You are? I really thought you wanted nothing more to do with me.” I clasped her hand in a tight grip, my fingers binding hers.
She stared at the open album in my lap. “I was upset, scared you would go back to Bianca after her suicide attempt. I didn’t want you to have any regrets, even if it meant I would have you here with me.”
I dropped the album on the coffee table. I kissed her softly on the lips, smiling at her startled gasp. “I want to make it work between us. I understand I hurt you in the past, but I promise you I’m 100 percent dedicated to us. No one, not Bianca or anyone else, will come between us again.” I stared straight in the eyes. “Please believe me.”
“I do believe you.” She sighed and pulled me into her arms.
“Wait.” I slid off the couch and got down on my knees, taking her hands and kissing the back of them.
“What are you doing?” She bent her face toward mine.
“I’m on my knees begging you to forgive me.”
“Cassie, there’s no reason for you to do this. I do forgive you.” We embraced as I thanked her on a breathless whisper.
I joined Freddie back on the couch to continue our reunion with kisses of not only hello and welcome, but ones promising forever.
***
“This weekend is a couples retreat at church. Will you go with me?”
I shifted on my side and twined my legs around Freddie’s. We’d ended up in her bed after dinner to finish our reunion since we couldn’t keep our hands off one another while we ate.
“It’s not just for straight couples?” I asked, resting my hand on her lower back.
“Father Dominic has opened it for all types of couples. You’ll be surprised by how many gay couples attend mass at Sacred Heart. He’s changed many opinions in this town and in the parish. That’s why I volunteer and still attend mass with my family there.” She dropped a kiss on my mouth. “It’s also a great way for us to work on any issues we might have.”
“Like couples therapy?” I asked, not thrilled to share my feelings and concerns about us in front of a room full of strangers.
“Not exactly.” She snuggled in closer and stroked my hip. “It’s a great way for you to meet more people and to become a better part of the community.”
“You don’t want to keep me all to yourself?” I asked in a breathy purr and pushed her on her back to help her concentrate on more important matters—such as seeing how long we could kiss without stopping for breath or crying out in pleasure. It was a fun game I’d loved playing with when we were younger.
“I know what you’re trying to do here, Miss Slazak.” She spread her legs, and I fell deeper into her. “I want to have a serious conversation with you.”
“We will, but after we finish the kissing game.”
“The kissing what— Oh!” A wicked light came to her eyes. “I remember that game well.”
“It’s been a long time since I played it.” I lowered my mouth to her ear and licked her lobe. “I’ll tell you what. If you win, I’ll go to the couple’s retreat.”
“What’s your prize if you win?” She looped her legs around my hips and rocked back and forth.
“I’ll come up with something,” I moaned with a swivel of my hips.
“Ready, set go!” She flipped us both over and landed on top of me.
Her mouth descended on mine.
I was out of practice. I lasted all of five minutes. It didn’t help that Freddie cheated by touching me in all the right places. I surrendered and welcomed my defeat with a brave face.
My reward was more kissing and the words of love Freddie repeated late into the night.
Epilogue
“What do you think, Father?” I turned the laptop monitor toward him so he could see the newly updated webpage I’d created for Sacred Heart.
He moved the mouse around, clicking on links taking him to other pages, including the school’s I just finished.
“Fabulous! So much better than our old one.” He sent me a pleased smile, which I returned with one of my own.
I checked outside the window, watching a few snowflakes fall from the sky. “We might have a white Christmas this year.” Christmas was in two days and the weather forecast promised snow.
“It’s been too long since we had snow on Christmas. It would be a nice touch.” He rose from his chair behind his desk and stretched.
“A blessing from God?” I teased and powered down the laptop.
“It would set a festive mood for the holiday season. Speaking of festive moods, would you like to come with me and see if the volunteers have finished decorating the church?”
I had planned on stopping there to grab Freddie who was helping with the final decorations. Special lights and banners were being hung for midnight mass. It would be my first Christmas mass in over ten years.
“I would love to. Freddie is on the decorating committee. Then we’re going to The Horseman’s holiday dinner together.” I checked my watch. “Which is in an hour.”
“What a coincidence! I’m going to the dinner also. I can have more time to convince you and Freddie to help with the high school youth group starting in January.” He shut off the lights in his office.
I walked in the hallway trying my best not to roll my eyes. I owed Father Dominic a lot of gratitude. Thanks to him, I had far more clients than I had expected for my new design firm that I’d started at the beginning of June. I was in the process of finding an office and hiring a small staff to help me with the work load. Ever since the couples retreat, I’d gone to many events at the church. I even volunteered, which I didn’t mind because we did it together.
“Get back to me in a few weeks when I’ve recovered from the holidays.” I accompanied Father Dominic up the stairs to the back of the church.
He didn’t force the issue, though he had playful twinkle in his eye.
Freddie would talk me into volunteering, which didn’t take that much because I couldn’t refuse her anything.
He opened the door and motioned me inside first. I entered, stopping to view the beauty in front of me. The church had really gone all out with the decorations. Twinkling lights covered the ceilings and the walls, hanging over gold and silver velvet banners. Behind the altar was a twenty foot fir tree covered with blinking lights and huge colorful glass balls. Freddie held up a camera and took pictures. When someone spoke to her, and pointed past her shoulder, she turned and waved.
Father Dominic’s voice rang out as he thanked the twenty or so volunteers. I remained in the back as Freddie walked down the center aisle, stopping to hug him. Her gaze cut to mine, and my face grew warm. I wore a ruby-red pleated knit dress she’d helped me pick out last month. She wore tight black pants and a silver cowl-neck top I had helped her try on in the dressing room during the shopping excursion for my dress. It was a good thing video cameras weren’t allowed in the dressing rooms. Security would have had quite the show.
“I’m going to burn in hell,” I groaned and shook my head over such naughty thoughts in a place of worship.