by Ruby Vincent
“It’s cool, Miss Val.”
I froze.
“I came here to talk to Zeke.”
“Okay.” She lifted Jessie out of my hold. “We’re also having lunch in half an hour, if you want to join us.”
“Thank you.”
Another shadow fell over me and my breath caught in my throat.
“Hey, Zeke,” said Derek.
What was he doing here? How did he know I would be here?
“What are you reading?”
The question knocked me out of my shock. “It’s... the fourth Pendergast book. You got me hooked.”
“Glad you like it.”
Derek looked good. Derek always looked good, so that wasn’t saying much, but out of the stuffy Breakbattle uniform, he opted for a leather jacket, dark shades, and a loose pair of jeans. The look was simple, but it lent a distinct bad-boy vibe that I’m sure he was happy to cultivate.
“Whoo!” Jordan cried. “I said you didn’t want none of this!”
Derek jerked his head toward the manor. “Is it cool if we go somewhere and talk?”
Talk about what? Was the other shoe going to drop? Are you going to dump me for lying to you? Are the taunts about creepy stalker pervert freaks going to come back with a vengeance now that you don’t feel sorry for me anymore?
I worked myself up into a proper tizzy as I led Derek back to my room. My hand shook as I reached for the knob and let us inside.
Derek didn’t need an invitation to stroll into the middle of the space and look around. I eyed him as I closed and locked the door.
“How did you know I was here?” I asked.
“Moon said you were going to come over this summer. I told him to text me when you did.”
“Why didn’t you text me?”
“I thought you might need some space.”
“Oh.”
He doesn’t look mad, I thought. And the insults aren’t flying. Does that mean we’re okay?
“I was worried you were pissed at me,” I finally said. “Because I didn’t tell you the truth.”
His face crumpled into a frown. “Mad at you? Why would I be mad? If you’re a boy, then you’re a boy.”
And then it broke. The hard, tight knot in my throat that had been strangling me as I fought not to cry, broke apart as I raced across the room and threw myself in his arms.
“Whoa.”
I ignored him and squeezed him tighter, burrowing my face in his neck. I had no time for his tough guy, don’t-need-no-one-else routine.
“Thank you,” I whispered.
“For what?” Derek’s arms hung by his side, making no attempt to hug me back.
“I forgot for a second that you were a good guy.”
He snorted. “Happy to remind you,” he said, but after a minute, he lifted his arms and wrapped them around me.
“Thank you,” I repeated, “but I am a girl. Zeke is nothing but a costume.”
His grip on me loosened. “What? But then...”
I pulled away and trudged over to my bed.
“Why?” Derek sat down on my other side. He still looked more curious than mad. “I don’t get it.”
“Believe it or not, it was the only way my mom would let me go to the academy,” I said, opting for a version of the truth. “She doesn’t approve of them separating the genders, but she changed her tune at the idea of me going in as a boy and experiencing firsthand how different women have it.”
“Still that seems a bit... extra.”
“I really wanted to go to school there. I did what I had to do.”
He nodded. “’Cause of your math stuff. Breakbattle has the best teachers.”
I didn’t bother to correct his assumption. It worked for me to let him think it.
“Were you going to hide the whole time?” he asked. “All four years and never let anyone know the truth?”
I took a minute and considered that. “No,” I finally said. “I would have told people. Friends.” My eyes drifted up and met his. “People I knew I could trust. I trust you. That’s why I’m not worried about going back to school. You’ll keep my secret.”
Derek looked away. His golden locks fell across his face, shielding his eyes in the same way mine would. “If you trust me... would you let me see the real you?”
I blinked. “You mean... you want me to...?”
“If Zeke is just a costume, take it off.”
I touched the strands of my wig. It was a simple request, and on the face, there was nothing wrong with it, and yet, it felt strangely intimate.
“Okay,” I whispered.
Slowly, I stood and reached for my buttons.
Derek’s eyes bugged. “You don’t have to strip!”
I laughed. “Relax. I’m wearing a tank top under all of this.” I undid my shirt and shrugged it off, revealing the tan bindings that had become my constant accessory over the last year. Derek didn’t take his eyes off me as I unwrapped them. Next, was my wig. Every time I took it off was a relief that caused a sigh of pleasure. This time was no different.
I ripped it off and threw it on the bed. My silk cap went after it. I shook and let my blondish-brown tresses fall around my shoulders.
“This is the real me. Zela Rae Manning.”
“Wow,” he breathed.
Biting my lip, I peeked at Derek through my hair, awaiting his verdict.
“How can such a pretty girl... turn into such an ugly guy?”
I made a strangled noise. “Derek!”
He tipped over onto the sheets, laughing. “It’s almost a crime to let you put that wig back on.”
I smacked his flailing legs. “Only you could compliment and insult me at the same time.”
“It’s my gift.” He propped himself up on his elbows, grinning at me. “Just focus on the compliment part.”
“That part feels weirder than the insult. Are you going to be nice to me now that you know I’m a girl?” I gave him a lopsided smile. “I’ve seen you with your breakfast buddies, snuggling up in the corner and feeding each other grapes. You can treat me the same way you did before.”
He chuckled. “Breakfast buddies? I like that. It’s true I’m nice to the ladies, but I’m a gentleman. It’s the only way to behave. But you”—he bumped my knee with his—“I’ll be nice to you because we’re friends.”
“That works for me,” I said, fighting a smile.
“And as your friend, I will fuck Zach, Landon, Michael, and Cole up.”
My smile melted away.
“I’m serious, Zela.” Derek easily slipped into my proper name. “It doesn’t matter that they thought you were a boy. They went too far and they’re not getting away with it.”
I traced the lines around his eyes, the wrinkles in his forehead, and the sharp twist of his mouth. This was the anger I was expecting to see, but it wasn’t directed at me. It was for me.
“Tell me what you want me to do, and I will. I’ll back you up with Whittaker. I’ll beat their skulls in. I’ll get them kicked out of the Network.”
“Wait.” I jerked up. “You can do that?”
“My dad is as high up as it goes. If I tell him I want them gone, they’ll be out.” He pulled his phone out of his pocket. “Say the word.”
I gazed at the cell. I was so tempted it hurt. It would kill them to be kicked out after everything they’ve done. “No.” I pushed his hand down. “Not yet, anyway. I want to deal with them first.”
“Okay. Tell me when you change your mind.”
I noticed his use of when, not if.
“Can we change the subject?” I asked.
“Sure. You can tell me what else I don’t know about you.”
I turned and crawled toward the pillows, getting comfortable. “There’s nothing else to tell. Zeke and Zela share the same backstory.”
“You really lived in twenty-six countries, paraglided, jumped off mountains, and wielded machetes?”
I giggled. “Were you holding out hope I wasn’t that cool
?”
“Yeah, I was.” He came up and claimed the spot next to me. “You make my life look incredibly boring and I’m the kid of a movie star.”
Grinning, I went for my phone. “I can show you pictures now. You can see the ones from Switzerland.”
Derek leaned in until our shoulders brushed. I don’t know how long we sat there, laughing over my pictures and the stories to go with them, but the knock on the door was like snapping out of a dream.
“Zeke? It’s time for lunch.”
“Coming,” I called.
“I should go.”
“What? No.” I turned to him as he slid off the bed. “Val said you could stay for lunch.”
“I’ve got my own house and my own chefs making me lunch.”
“When will you come back?”
He shrugged.
“I’ll be in Evergreen for two weeks,” I continued. “Maybe I could come by your place sometime. I could meet your parents and—”
“No.” It was his tone that silenced me. His shoulders were taut under the leather jacket, back stiff. “You can’t come to my house.”
“Oh. Okay.”
Maybe he picked up something in my voice, because his shoulders loosened. “It’s just my parents are renovating and the place is a mess. I’ll swing by again sometime before you leave.”
“Promise?”
He gave me a look over his shoulder. “How did I not notice before that you were a girl?”
I nudged him with my foot. “Promise me, Grayson.”
He heaved a sigh. “I promise.”
“Good.” I got up too and started my transformation back into Zeke. Derek watched me until I buttoned up my shirt. “Want me to walk you out?”
“I’m good. See you next week.”
Derek and I left the room and parted at the end of the stairs. I walked into a full dining room and went straight for Jessie. Jaxson handed her over easily and I snuggled the baby as I sat down to a delicious taco spread. It was the right choice to break the routine and come here. I got to see Jessie, hang with Adam, set things right with Derek... and I found out I held their future in the Elite Network in the palm of my hands.
I hid a smile in the baby’s curls. There was so much I could do with that power.
Chapter Two
“You can ease up. You’ve been pushing yourself hard.”
“One more mile,” I huffed. My lungs burned. Sweat trickled down my spine and soaked the waistband of my pants. I ignored it and kept breathing the way Michael taught me. In. Out. In. Out. And hating that it reminded me of him.
Adam had no trouble keeping up with me. He was in peak physical condition as Jordan had taken to telling me in more graphic terms. He was on the level I needed to be. The level of the Elite.
We finished the last lap and slowed up in front of the gates of the Promenade.
“Want to go in and get something to drink?”
My eyes swept over the sprawling shopping center. “Isn’t this where you all hang out over the summer? What if we run into one of them? I can’t handle that right now.”
Adam didn’t ask who them was or argue further. “Stay here. I’ll get us chocolate milk. It’s the best post-run drink.”
“I don’t know if that’s true, but I want it to be, so I’ll say yes.”
Chuckling, he jogged off. I walked up to the wall and pressed against it as I stretched and worked out the kinks.
“Zeke?”
I stiffened. Why was I so ridiculously unlucky? All I wanted was to fly under the radar.
“Zeke, is that you?”
I frowned. Wait. I know that voice.
“Melody?”
It was her. She stepped out of a slick black convertible and waved to the red-haired man inside. He drove off with a beep.
“Hey, Zeke. What are you doing here?”
“I’m visiting Adam for the summer.”
“Adam.” Melody’s hand flew to her bun and smoothed it down. “Is he here?” she asked, peeking over my shoulder.
“He went to get us drinks. He should be back soon. Want to wait with me?”
“My friends are waiting for me, but... I could... just to say hi.”
I hoped she couldn’t pick up my amusement. These two were so cute and made cuter by their cluelessness.
“There is something I wanted to tell you so I’m glad I caught you.”
“What’s up?” I asked.
“Things were rough with the club last year and Whittaker threatening to shut us down if there was another protest. People were scared and a lot of the girls didn’t want to risk being involved and getting lumped in with For All.”
“For All?”
Melody came to my side and leaned against the wall. “That’s what I’ve been calling him ever since you told us what the symbol meant. Calling him a prankster wasn’t right since what he did to Landon and Michael was no prank. We’ll never go as far as hurting people, but I am going to get the administration’s attention this year. What do you say? Still a part of the group?”
“I was never out of the group,” I replied. “Just tell me what to do and where to be. No one wants this busted system taken down more than me.”
She squeezed my arm. “You’re the best, Zeke. Keep your phone close when school starts.” Her eyes drifted over my shoulder, and I was blessed by seeing her face light up. “Adam, hi.”
“Melody? Hey.” Adam walked up to us and held out my chocolate milk. “Glad I got to see you this summer. Waiting for September was too long.”
If possible, Melody’s smile got wider, and I silently applauded Adam. The boy was smoother than I gave him credit for.
“Thanks.” I relieved him of the milk and backed away. “I’m going to run back, but you two should stay and catch up.”
“But—”
“Wait—”
I cut them both off. “Adam, Melody’s going to meet up with her friends. Why don’t you walk with her while she tells you the plans for Stand Up this year?”
“That’s a good idea.” Melody reached out and brushed a speck of dust off his shoulder that was most likely nonexistent. “Do you have time?”
“Um, yeah. Let’s...”
I jogged off, leaving them to it. That was a good deed. Surely it helped to make up for the ones to come.
“I CAN’T BELIEVE SUMMER is over,” Jordan moaned. “It went way too fast.”
I sat on my bed, neatly folding my Zeke clothes and packing them away. My time in Evergreen had come to an end. Returning home meant resettling into my routine, and the days passed quickly in a haze of yoga, push-ups, and avocado toast. Now the only thing that stood between me and my arrival at Breakbattle were twelve hours.
“The best part was staying at Adam’s place.” Jordan threw herself on my bed and tugged the jeans from my fingers. “Tell me. Is Adam seeing anyone?”
I paused in reaching for another t-shirt. “What? Why do you want to know that?”
Jordan bit her lip. Her feet kicked in the air as she grinned at me. “He is so cute, Zee, and sweet, and funny, and cute, if I didn’t mention that already. We were totally flirting.”
My eyes bugged. “F-flirting?! When were you doing that?”
“Pretty much my entire stay. He kept sitting next to me when we ate.”
“To get to know you.”
“To accidentally brush against me,” she corrected. “He kept challenging me to volleyball rematches.”
“To get a shot at winning.”
She gave me a look. “To see me in my bikini.”
“Jordan,” I cried. “Adam was not flirting. He likes someone else.”
“Are they dating?”
“No, but—”
“Then he’s keeping his options open. We’ve been texting a little, but he hasn’t made any moves. See if you can get me an invitation the next time you stay at his place.”
I gaped at her. “Did you hear the part where I said he likes someone else?”
“I couldn’
t hear it over the part where you said they’re not dating.” She threw the jeans at me and they fell over my face. “He’s different, Zee. I don’t know any guys like him.”
“Adam is special for sure,” I said through the legs of my pants. “But it will be tough between Melody and going to different schools. Forgive me if I stay out of this one.”
She laughed. “Do what you gotta do. So, how’s it going with Derek? Have you been texting all summer too?”
I shook my head. “I send him texts. Sometimes he replies and sometimes he doesn’t. He came back to see me before I left like he promised, but he’s a hard guy to pin down. I never really know where I stand with him.”
“Are you any closer to getting an invitation to his place?”
“No, and now that you mention it, he got tense the first time I brought it up.” I pulled the jeans off my head and went back to folding. “I don’t know what that’s about, but I know there is a lot more he hasn’t told me.” My shoulders slumped as I let the fabric slip from my fingers. “I don’t know anything about him when I think about it. He likes to read, play basketball, and sleep with movie extras. That’s all I know.”
“Well... what does he know about you?”
I lifted my head. “What? What do you mean?”
Jordan met my eyes steadily. “I know you, Zee. You don’t tell people very much about yourself, and it makes sense. You moved around so much, there was no point baring your soul to people you’d never see or speak to again. If you want Derek to open up to you, then you have to be willing to do the same. You might even have to do it first. That’s how it works.”
“Oh.” That soft sound was all I could manage. It never occurred to me that Derek was giving back to me as much as I was giving him.
But where do I go from here? How do I open up to him when there are still so many things I can’t say?
My mind twisted and chewed on that all night, but I had no answer by the time Mom slammed her door and started the engine.
I didn’t say much on the drive to school, but that did not mean it was quiet. Mom kept up a steady stream of instructions as we went.