“It’s good to escape the palace,” Leoth said as we strode briskly down the main street toward the city walls. “All of the politics are exhausting to keep up with!”
“My thoughts exactly,” I said. “Though I hardly have anything to complain about, as I’m not involved in any real decision-making just yet. I don’t know how the king keeps up with everything.”
“He doesn’t,” Leoth said. “Which is why he’s leaving so much to you.”
“True.”
At last we reached the stables near the city walls. Leoth led me directly to the first and finest of the stables, where the stablemaster greeted him by name.
“I haven’t met this young lady before,” the stablemaster said, peering at me with interest. “Would you care to introduce her?”
“She’s merely a palace servant,” Leoth said. “Saddle my two black mares, and do it quick.”
In no time at all, we were mounted and riding beneath the city wall, towering above the peasants as they came and went on their way to market. Though it had been several spans, the rhythm of riding came back to me quickly.
“Do you come our here often?” I asked.
“Whenever I can escape.” Leoth leaned forward and stroked his mare’s neck. “Before this year, I used to enter the races with these beauties as well. But Father forbade it, saying it was far too dangerous if I was to be king.”
“More dangerous than spending time with me?” I couldn’t help saying.
“He doesn’t know about that, though, does he?” Leoth gave me a roguish grin. “I like danger.”
I had no suitable reply for that, so I let my hood fall back in the chill breeze and enjoyed the sight of so much open space stretching before us. Out here, I felt like I could actually breathe.
Without warning, Leoth spurred his horse into a gallop, and I kicked mine faster as well, hoping I wouldn’t fall off. Thankfully, my horse seemed to know it was supposed to keep pace with Leoth’s, and after the initial shock, the speed was exhilarating. We wove past the odd wagon still making its way toward the city, the drying stalks of grain nearby bowing from the wind in our wake, as the wall grew smaller and less significant behind us. Leoth turned to smile at me once, and the raw joy on his face was something I had never witnessed in him before. This was a side of him that rarely revealed itself, I could see. He hid his true passions under a layer of charm and sarcasm and wit, and it had fooled me as much as anyone.
I wondered how much else he hid beneath it all.
After a long, breathless ride, my cheeks had grown numb from the icy air, and I became aware that my horse was breathing hard. I tugged on the reins and nearly slid forward onto the mare’s neck as she slowed abruptly.
By the time Leoth turned and noticed I had fallen behind, I had dismounted and released the mare to chase him down on her own, faster now she was unburdened.
“What is it?” Leoth called, bringing his own mare to a halt so abruptly she pranced around in a half-circle.
I walked stubbornly toward him, glad I had chosen sturdy boots rather than the slippers I had grown accustomed to at court. “I can’t ride for more than an hour, or I’ll kill the poor horse,” I said once I was sure none of the distant wagons would overhear.
“Oh, of course.” Dismounting smoothly, Leoth took my horse’s reins and waited until I caught up with him. Then he bowed and kissed my hand with a mocking smile, the image of a perfect gentleman. “And what would be the optimal distance for me to maintain?”
I snorted. “Right…there.” I stopped seven steps ahead of him.
“That exact?”
“We tested it extensively when I was a child. My mother built a circle of rocks outside, and I sat in it almost every day so I could visualize the safe distance even in my sleep.” To my amazement, I didn’t feel ashamed discussing my greatest flaw with Leoth.
When I glanced over my shoulder, trying to gauge his reaction, I was surprised to see a dark look cross his face. He looked almost wounded. “That was cruel of her.”
I shrugged. “It was necessary. I wouldn’t want to forget it any more than she did.” Smiling, I let my hand brush over the dry, rattling heads of grass in the field to my left. “Anyway, let’s not talk about that any longer. I don’t want to ruin today. Speaking of which, did you have a destination in mind, or are we walking until we tire?”
“We’re not far,” Leoth said. “I hope you’re not tired.”
“I would happily run.”
Before long, a small wood building rose above the grasses in the distance. As we drew closer, I recognized it for a fine-looking inn with a restaurant attached. We had been riding in the direction of Twenty-League Town, but we had only gone a fraction of the distance to the settlement itself; I assumed this inn had been built for wealthy travelers who wished to reach Baylore early in the day.
“The wine here is some of the best in Itrea,” Leoth said, pausing so I could draw alongside him. “And the fire is warm as well.”
“It sounds wonderful.”
The innkeeper greeted Leoth by name and took our horses to the stable to be fed and watered; he cast one curious glance my way, but politeness kept him from showing too much interest. I wondered if I was the first young woman Leoth had brought here.
In no time, we were settled in two plush leather chairs before the fire, glasses of wine in hand and blankets across our laps.
“This is quite the escape,” I remarked, watching Leoth over the rim of my glass. His expression was far more open—less guarded—than I had ever seen within the city. I wondered if I could prise any secrets from him this afternoon.
“I found it based on the amount of time I could be away without my parents calling out the guards to hunt me down." Leoth gave me a half-smile. “I don’t envy you much, but I do wish my mother was as supportive as yours. If I’d been born like you, I would have been drowned without a second thought. By the way, do you like the wine?”
I knew he was trying to distract me, but I let him. “It’s delicious, really it is.” The flavor was unlike any I had tried before—sweet yet not cloying, with the hint of summer fruits lingering on my tongue.
“Good.” Leoth’s smile was distracted. “I know I came across as an ass at first, but I really do want to get to know you properly. Politics aside. I want to know the real Kalleah, the person you are when public appearances don’t matter.”
“I could say the same about you,” I said, raising my glass in a mocking toast. “Who are you behind closed doors? When no one needs to be impressed or won over?”
“I think you would be disappointed,” Leoth said with a chuckle. He finished off his wine and waved the innkeeper over for another glass. “I’m truly quite boring.”
“I’ll be the judge of that.” I allowed the innkeeper to top off my glass as well, though I was wary of letting my judgment slip around Leoth. “What did you like doing most as a child, when no one was around to scold you?”
Leoth laughed. “Everything I ought not to do, really. Practicing swordplay with real swords on top of walls or other precarious places. Winding up the servant children until they brawled with me. Riding dangerous horses far too fast. It’s a miracle I survived to adulthood.”
I coughed to disguise my un-ladylike snort of laughter. “Maybe your parents were right to be hard on you. It sounds as though you deserved it.”
“Fair point.” Leoth leaned back in his chair and rested his booted feet on a low table. “What about you? What was your favorite childhood disobedience?”
I thought back to the beauty of Ambervale, the crisp mountain air and the whispering of wind through pine needles, and a bittersweet nostalgia filled me. Life in the village was far more blissful in my memory than it had ever been in truth, yet a part of me still yearned to return to it.
“Wandering was my sin. I spent countless hours exploring the forests and climbing scree slopes until vertigo hit me, and I got lost more than once. Mother gave me lectures and sent me to bed without dinner a
nd once even beat me with a reed, but none of it made any difference.” I shrugged. “I was filled with such a restless boredom that sitting still felt like far more punishment than Mother could ever deal out.”
Leoth grinned. “I think we would have been good friends as children.”
I gave him a stern look. “That would have been a disaster. I would most certainly have gotten caught up with your sword-fighting and riding, and then I would not have been suited for the life of a princess, in addition to all my other failings.”
“I’m sure your natural grace would have won out in the end.” Taking another sip of his wine, Leoth allowed his eyes to slide closed, basking in the warmth from the fire.
Although I was growing light-headed from the wine myself, Leoth’s drowsiness acted like a shrill alarm. I jumped to my feet with such suddenness that Leoth flinched.
“What’s wrong? Is there a mouse?”
“You’re growing tired. We’ve spent far too much time together.”
Leoth widened his eyes in an exaggerated display of wakefulness. “I am so far from sleep you wouldn’t believe it. Besides, you must give some credit to the warmth and the wine.”
I shook my head. “I’m going for a walk outside. I’ll return in half an hour.”
“Wait.” Leoth grabbed my hand. “May I not join you, if I walk an appropriate distance away from you?”
I sighed. “That sounds exhausting.”
“Not to me.”
Since I was not eager to leave his company, I let the matter drop. On the way out, Leoth spoke softly to the innkeeper, who nodded and bowed.
“How many rows of wheat should we keep between ourselves? Should five suffice?” Leoth strode into one of the bare alleys between the mounded remains of the wheat field.
“This is ridiculous. But no, six would be better.”
“I think you secretly want to escape me. You’ve realized how dull I am, and you want to return to your more intelligent peers.”
I chuckled. “You just want me to admit that I enjoy your company. And it’s true, I can’t deny it any longer.”
Though Leoth kept his gaze fixed on the horizon, hands clasped behind his back, I could see the muscles around his mouth working as though he suppressed a smile. The sun hung low in the sky, which was beginning to turn a hazy copper as sunset approached.
We wandered in the direction of the setting sun for a long time, talking of simple things, our cheeks turning red as the breeze whisked by. Clouds overtook the rising moon once the sun dropped out of sight, and we were forced to turn back as darkness descended. Though I knew there was no way to return home now, and my parents would be frantic when they realized I had disappeared, I was secretly pleased to be stuck out in the endless plains with Leoth.
“Why did you pursue me in the first place?” I asked softly, bolder now that our expressions were hidden by the growing darkness. “If you knew we would both be heartbroken when we were forced to turn on one another, why would you set yourself up for it? You could’ve had a hundred other women if you wished.”
Leoth sighed, and I wished I could see his eyes. “It was just a game at first. I wanted to seduce you because that’s what I do. The other ladies should know my character by now, and should run the other direction, but they forgive me time after time because I’m handsome and powerful.” His head hung down, and he seemed to kick at the dirt as he walked. “Then I truly fell for you, as I’ve never fallen for another woman. It was an accident, and I wish I could go back and tell myself never to speak to you in the first place. But it’s too late now, and I wish we could forget everything else and just be together.”
“A part of me wishes for that too,” I whispered. “But I care too much for Itrea. If someone else takes power, everything good in this land might come crashing down. I have to do my part to stop it, no matter how miserable I am.”
“And for that you’re a far better person than I’ll ever be. I wish I had your conviction.”
“I wish many things,” I said. “Yet my life has narrowed to a single purpose, and everything beyond that will never come to pass.”
We reached the end of the wheat field then, and Leoth closed the distance between us, taking my hand. I felt in that moment that he understood me more than anyone ever had before, and in the darkness of that country road, the lights of the inn gleaming yellow in the distance, it almost seemed as though nothing else mattered besides the two of us. It was a delicious, selfish feeling, and I wanted it to last as long as possible.
When we slipped back into the inn, two steaming mugs of mulled wine waited for us, along with a rich stew and slices of thick brown bread. I drank the wine greedily, my numb fingers wrapped around the hot pewter as warmth spread through my core, feeling reckless and craving the loss of agency the alcohol would bring. For once in my life, I wanted to act without worrying of the consequences, to let my selfish desires carry me away.
As I paused and looked up at Leoth, my mug already half-empty, his dark eyes filled with warmth.
“If I were a wealthy commoner, I would sail the world searching for the most delicious wine,” Leoth declared, tasting his own drink. “Then I would bring it back for you, and we could share it over a game of Kins on cold evenings. I could be your secret lover, and you could hide me away in a private chamber deep within the palace.”
I shivered with delight at the thought. “If I were a commoner, I would join you on your travels. We could meet people from every corner of the earth, and explore uncharted waters. Perhaps we would even discover a new land, where we could live undisturbed for eternity.”
“We could buy a cute little house over a shop in the Twin Cities, and go on expeditions into the mountains to bring back precious gemstones and other treasures.” Leoth’s eyes were distant. “Then we could sell our wares to the nobility, and spend our days riding in the countryside and tasting delicacies from each of the Kinship Thrones.”
“You could truly do that, you know,” I said. “If you don’t take the throne, there’s nothing holding you here. You could make a new life for yourself anywhere in the world.”
“I’m not as free as you think,” Leoth said bitterly. “Duty traps me here, regardless of who sits on the throne. My parents will still expect me to push their agenda.”
I scrutinized him over the top of my mug, head spinning slightly. “I don’t understand how you can put so much value in their opinions. If I were you, I would happily cast off my family and go my own way.”
Leoth shook his head. “You wouldn’t. Your parents shaped your reality so much that you’ve taken their views as your own—I might not agree with everything my parents believe, but I can’t shake off their expectations and plans any more than you can.”
When I opened my mouth to protest, Leoth held up a finger.
“You claim you care about Itrea more than anything. You would sacrifice family, love, happiness—anything at all—for duty to your country. Yet who was it that instilled those values in you? If your mother had raised you thinking that Baylore was a golden apple with a rotten core, slowly crumbling while everyone in power pretended things were fine, would you feel the same way? You are the product of your mother’s teachings, just as I’m the product of my parents’ schemes and expectations.”
I put my mug to the side and tasted the stew, which was thick and hearty and spiced with the same country herbs I had grown up eating. “What’s rotten about Baylore, then? Is that what you believe?” I had wanted to escape the world of politics for once—this evening was not unfolding the way I had envisioned. Yet I could not disguise my curiosity. Leoth was a puzzle I wanted very much to solve, not least because I knew he was still being dishonest with me in one way or another. My heart wanted to trust him, but logic said otherwise.
Leoth sighed, and I wondered if he was similarly annoyed at this turn of conversation. “You haven’t been there long enough to see it, but I’m sure you would notice if you had half a chance. Our economy has put so much value on magi
cal goods that anyone without magic blood has hardly a hope of living in Baylore, let alone succeeding at business. We’ve created the opposite problem of what our ancestors ran away from—an untouchable middle class of magic-workers, and an impoverished peasant class with no magic blood. Some people say we’re a step away from enslaving our non-magical brethren to save the bother of employing them honestly. This is why my parents don’t want you taking the throne. Because the non-magical residents of Baylore fear the forbidden races more than anything, and letting you rule would be as good as a slap in the face to them. It would be like us royals saying their worries are worth shit.”
Halfway through Leoth’s argument, I had opened my mouth to counter his words, but I let my mouth fall closed. He did have a good point, and he had voiced one of my greatest fears—that by taking the throne, I was actively harming my people.
“I don’t see how you would do any better, actively stirring up dissent between magic and non-magic citizens,” I said at last. “At least I won’t pass any laws that will undo the hard work of our ancestors.”
“I know, I don’t have a solution either,” Leoth said. “But at least—no.” He shook his head as if to dislodge a fly. “We shouldn’t discuss this any longer. I don’t want to ruin our time together.”
What had he stopped himself from saying? Whatever it was, I surely would not have liked it.
“How about a game of cards?” Leoth asked, his serious expression becoming playful. “I wasn’t satisfied with our last game—I expect to win this time.”
I couldn’t even remember which game he was referring to; it had been nearly a span since I had last joined his friends for one of their cozy nights of wine and cards and gossip. “I would love that,” I said regardless. We seemed unable to keep our conversation away from dangerous topics, which said plenty about Leoth’s intellect but would quickly ruin any growing warmth between us. A distraction would be welcome.
We finished our meal and borrowed a set of well-worn cards from the innkeeper, so old the paint was fading from the edges. As we started a game of Draughts, we leaned closer over the small table, nursing our mulled wine and watching each other’s expressions carefully. Each time Leoth caught my eye, he gave me a warm smile that sent heat racing down my neck.
Forbidden Queen: A Court Intrigue Fantasy (The Forbidden Queen Series Book 1) Page 18