My eyes never left his as Brooklyn took my bouquet and Easton took my hands. “Becca. Beck. I’d like to say that I’ve waited a long time for my heart to find yours. But the truth is, I never knew love like this could exist. You’ve breathed new life into me, Beck, and I promise you today, and every day thereafter, that I will do my best to do the same for you.” Easton lowered his gaze, clearing his throat. My stomach swam with anticipation and admiration. I squeezed his hands, not once, but twice. “In a world where love is the greatest power, and time is the most valuable currency, I vow to give you a very rich life. And I can’t wait to spend my forever, with you by my side,” Easton said, his tone soft like we were the only two people in the barn.
Awe-stricken, I choked back my tears. My chest tight as my heart expanded. I took out the vows I’d written on a piece of paper. Hands trembling, I tried to steady the page. The words were a blur as tears filled my eyes. The only sound was that of the pounding of my heartbeat between my ears. I looked up from the fuzzy words into Easton’s eyes and smiled. Tiny sparkles floated around him. Without looking, I knew it was his love bursting into the air like tiny fireworks.
I crumpled my vows into a ball and threw it over my shoulder, unable to speak. Leaping forward, I wrapped my arms around the nape of his neck and kissed him deeply. Easton grabbed me tight. My feet lifted off the ground as I deepened my kiss. I placed my hands on both sides of his cheeks as the distant sound of cheering erupted into my consciousness. I pulled back, laughing with embarrassment. A single tear rolled down Easton’s cheek, and I swiped it away with my thumb. He lowered me onto the ground. And the officiant threw his notes behind his shoulder and tossed his arms up in the air. “I guess I pronounce you, husband and wife! And I’m sure you’ll kiss the bride again,” he said. And we did.
I turned to the crowd I’d forgotten were present, and Easton held up our intertwined hands. We laughed as they cheered, and Brooklyn gave me back my bouquet.
It was when we were taking photos that Easton caught my hand and slipped on the wedding band. Diamonds sparkled the full length of the band, making for quite the beautiful light show. “It’s beautiful!”
“It’s called an eternity band. I thought it was only fitting,” Easton said.
“I love it!” I spun around, turning my back on Easton as I tried to fish his band out from my bust, but the slippery little thing kept slipping lower into my dress. “I can’t . . . get it!” I spun back to face Easton. “I can’t get it!” I laughed, rubbing the ring that was now pressed against my ribs. Thank God the dress was tight enough to hold it there. It shouldn’t travel any lower.
Easton’s eyes dropped to my neck line and then lower. His fingers traced mine over the ring. “I can’t wait to get that ring tonight,” he said in a hungry voice. My stomach dipped, and then even lower yet.
“OK, let’s get another one by the tractor!” The photographer called out. Where did all these people keep coming from? My cheeks burned with embarrassment. I buried my face in Easton’s chest, hoping to hide from the surrounding eyes. But when I heard the camera snap repetitively, I knew I was no longer safe. Easton’s brother slapped his back, urging him toward the tracker.
“Come on, you two! You will have all week for that. I promise!” Tanner said.
“Can we leave now?” Easton asked.
“What! No! You guys can’t leave now! The party hasn’t even started!” Brooklyn said on my flank.
“Yeah!” Terra echoed.
I leaned into Easton and whispered quiet enough for only him to hear, “It will be worth the wait . . .” I said seductively.
“We heard that,” Tanner said. I moaned, throwing my head back as the boys laughed. Easton squeezed my hand and winked. I knew I would be painted red in every single shot. Thankfully, I knew the photographer could fix that.
The pictures would have been awkward if they were with anyone else, but with this bunch, it was painless. Hysterical even. It was apparent that Tanner had been spending time with the bridesmaids because they all passed around a flask and shared an inside joke I was not privy to. I enjoyed seeing them together. I couldn’t help but think Easton and I were making our own little family of tightly woven friends.
The MC introduced us as Mr. and Mrs. Green when we entered the larger barn set for dining and dancing. The sound of my new name sent a shiver of excitement down my spine. After being Everly Beck and Becca Reed, I’d held the name of Mrs. Green, and I loved it. It had been the easiest one to identify with that I could remember.
The wedding party took their seats. Easton and I in the middle, and some bridesmaids next to Tanner for balance. He didn’t seem to mind, and neither did Grace and Kennedy by his side. However, I had to wonder about Brooklyn, who kept looking in his direction.
Even though I had been famished, I found it difficult to get down a quarter of my meal. A mixture of guests coming to our table to talk, the tightness of my dress, and nerves kept me from getting my fill. And when Brooklyn told me it was time to make my rounds, I abandoned my dinner altogether, for I knew it would grow cold.
I spoke to every table, and though I loved every moment, I couldn’t help but be reminded of the wedding reception I never had in my past life. The one I somehow knew had happened and somehow saw my mom collapse under the news the cops had brought to my doorstep. Was this what it was supposed to be like? Would it have been this way, only with different faces? Or would they all have been too sad that I was terminal to be truly happy for me?
As I fought my past that never came to be, I was called to the dance floor for the father-daughter dance. A bolus formed in my throat, unable to swallow it down. And though I didn’t cry, I knew my eyes were red from the burn. I almost scratched the father-daughter dance altogether. I knew it would hurt. I knew I’d have to be strong to get through it. But ultimately, I decided it was all a part of the healing process. Well, that and I couldn’t take it away from my dad. He didn’t deserve to be stripped from the father-daughter dance just because I missed my pop. I knew too that if I didn’t do mine, then Easton wouldn’t do his with his mother, and it would snowball into this thing that I was tired of overthinking. So, I told myself to suck it up. Be brave and fearless.
However, what I hadn’t expected was the entire event had left me with very raw emotions. Memories that I hadn’t even remembered until this night. And worse yet were the dreams. The ones that never came to be but haunted me in the mirrored moments of my parallel life. Riding side by side by a life that ended, I watched what could have happened unfold before my very eyes. And it was beautiful . . . But what I couldn’t realize until this very moment was that the beauty hurt just the same as the sorrow.
“Just one step at a time, honey. Follow my lead,” Dad said, taking me in his arms.
“Thank you, Dad,” I said, forcing a smile.
He made small calculated steps, and I followed him, careful not to step on my dress again. I breathed in his cherry cigar smell that leached into his coat and was swept away in memories of him teaching me how to ride a bike. How to build a campfire. How to barbecue.
I was aware of all the eyes watching us but thankful for the dim lighting as my emotions were exposed for all to see. Front and center. I swallowed hard, actively pushing memories of my late pop out of my head. And then feeling guilty when I had succeeded. Feeling guilty when the happiness crept in. And when I felt the father’s love of the man who danced in my pop’s place.
I had kept it together. Locked it up tight. Buried it down deep . . . I had worked tirelessly to be strong, but when a song came on that my pop had sung to me as a kid—the only song he knew the lyrics to—I lost it. Completely and utterly lost it. Dad pulled me into his embrace as I wept. Wept for the dad who wasn’t here to give me away. And then wept harder when I knew that, actually . . . he’d been here all along.
I opened my blurry eyes, lifting my head from my dad’s shoulder, and looked around the room, expecting to see his face and those kind eyes that I’d missed so
much. But when I couldn’t see him, I closed my eyes once more, swaying back and forth to the slow song, basking in the feel of his presence, both far and near. His pride for me on this special day. And his deep unconditional, and undying love for me. I basked in the glow of knowing the song Pop played was his gift to me. A present for me to know he’s OK. And it was OK for me to be happy. Because this slow, steady song that played not only in my heart but for everyone to hear tonight. . . was not on my wedding play list.
Chapter 7
I wiped the wet tears off my cheeks as Easton and his mother stepped onto the dance floor. He looked at me with concern, but I forced a smile to let him know I was OK. I was OK . . . I would be OK.
The moment I stepped out of the limelight, Brooklyn took my arm and ushered me to the restroom. Grace had been waiting in the ladies’ room for us and held the door open as we approached. “Are you OK?” Brooklyn asked. My eyes shot to Grace, and judging from her expression, perhaps my breakdown was worse than I even knew. I sniffed, my nose still running as I approached the sink. Startling myself as I looked into the mirror. Three.
This fail was epic: It could have counted as three and four. I looked like a raccoon from the smudged eye liner. My cheeks were not only missing make-up where I had wiped away my tears, but they were also exposing my residual sunburn and flaking skin. The only way to remedy this situation was to finish the rest of the wedding in the dark.
“Shit, you guys! What am I going to do?” I stared back at the girl in the mirror, and I was shocked to see that she looked nothing like the last reflection I’d seen before walking down the aisle. “Is Remy still here?” I asked.
The girls’ eyes filled with worry, and I knew his shift was over long ago. The three of us sat in a moment of silence. Black mascara crumbled in bits that littered my under eyes. And though it had been waterproof, I had rubbed nearly all of it off my lashes. Brooklyn wet a paper towel and began to blot at my face. I let her take care of me as my eyes fell unfocused on the sink faucet. “What happened, Becca?” Grace asked.
My eyes flickered to Brooklyn, who most likely understood why I had broken down. “Oh, she . . .” She began a cover-up story like any true friend would.
“I recently found out I was adopted,” I blurted out.
“Ohh!” Grace’s eyes grew wide. She was not expecting that.
“And . . . that my biological father had just passed,” I added. It felt good to get the truth off my chest. Even if there were parts that I still hid deep inside.
Grace threw a hand over her mouth. “I’m so sorry, Becca!”
“It’s OK,” I said. Though clearly it wasn’t. I didn’t know why it came out so dismissive as the proof was written all over my face that I was anything but OK. “The father-daughter dance was just . . . hard. That’s all.” I shrugged.
“Yeah, I can only imagine!” Grace said.
“But, I mean, nobody really noticed, right?” I asked, looking between Brooklyn and Grace. Their eyes met for a second before they agreed in unison.
“Yeah!”
“Right! Yeah.”
I sighed. Grace couldn’t lie to save her life, and I knew Brooklyn too well to know she was only trying to make me feel better. Brooklyn opened a small cosmetics bag and worked her magic. When I looked back in the mirror, I looked nothing like the girl I had when Remy made me up. But at least, I was presentable. Sort of. “Thank you,” I said, hugging them both.
“You know you can talk to us, anytime,” Grace said. I smiled at her. Wishing that I could. That my secrets weren’t so out of this world that I had to keep them locked inside. Maybe then I wouldn’t have melted down in front of all my wedding guests.
“I will. Thank you,” I said with no intention of ever telling her I was on my second life, and of all the pressures I carried on my shoulders to make it better than my first one.
By the time we had re-entered the barn, the party had kicked up a notch. I was glad to see that my breakdown was all but forgotten, and everyone was enjoying themselves. I found Easton standing awkwardly with both of our parents near the back wall. I straightened my back, sucked in a breath of confidence, and strode over to them. Easton reached out far before I was in arm's length, willing me to hurry by his side.
“There she is!” Easton’s dad reached out to hug me. Followed by a warm embrace from his mother. I knew they saw my episode on the dance floor, but I was more than OK pretending nothing happened.
“Hi, thank you for coming,” I said.
“Oh! We wouldn’t have missed this for the world!” Easton’s mother said.
“I see you’ve met my parents.” I smiled.
“Yes! We just met, Mr. and Mrs. Reed.”
My mom looked down at the ground, rubbing the back of her neck. My dad flinched, opening his mouth but ultimately closing it without correction. They were newly split after a long stint of trying to make their marriage work. In the end, my dad felt he could no longer trust my mom for cheating on him. And as I would internalize it, I seemed to think it was my fault for walking in on her. Though I knew it wasn’t. It had nothing to do with me at all. Except, perhaps, that the only reason my mom confessed to sleeping with her art instructor was because I had found out. Either way, it was a big step for them to be here tonight, standing next to each other. Cordially. And I had faith that if I could survive the father-daughter dance, they could survive this awkward night together. If not for themselves, then for me.
“Hey, you doing OK? You seemed . . . It seemed rough out there?” Mom asked.
My eyes flickered to both sets of parents before landing on Easton’s calming gaze. “Yeah. I’m going to be OK,” I said before returning my gaze to her. “Just a moment of reflection, I guess,” I said. The parents nodded understandingly. Or so they thought. I caught my dad’s eyes as he was trying to evaluate my mother’s expression, and I assumed he was wondering if she knew that I had knowledge of the adoption. Her face showed no telltales.
The MC came on to the speaker, announcing that a few guests had requested to make speeches and asked everyone to take their seats once again. My stomach churned as I said goodbye to both sets of parents and headed for my seat. Once there, Easton held my hand on his lap. “Are you OK?” he whispered, leaning in.
“Yeah, I’m OK.” I nodded. But when the concern didn’t leave his face, I followed up with, “Seriously, I’m OK.”
Tanner took the stage, looking incredibly nervous. The microphone shrieked, and the audience recoiled, causing me to giggle into the back of my hand. He wiped his palms on his slacks. “I feel like you all have been hearing a lot of positive, loving things about Easton and Becca over the last couple of nights. So . . . buckle up,” Tanner flipped his note card, and my face grew warm. The crowd laughed, eager to hear the roasting. My nerves flared.
“Oh, shit. . .” Easton muttered, amused.
“I just want to start by saying how beautiful Becca looks tonight. Doesn't she look beautiful?” The crowd clapped, looking back at me, and my stomach dropped. A smile spread across my face. I was going to kill him when I had the chance. “And so do all of Becca’s friends and bridesmaids. They all look really, really beautiful! Really, stunning—did I say that I was single?” The crowd laughed, and Brooklyn reached over and grabbed my leg, squeezing it with a firm grip. Excitement passed through her eyes. Did she really like him? Brooklyn was never phased by guys.
“It may come as a surprise to you all that Easton and I are adopted.” Easton went rigid by my side, but my eyes immediately flicked to my mother, who at that moment looked to me as well. My stomach somersaulted. Even from across the room, I could see in her face that she was calculating the reason I looked to her during that very statement. I would have to talk to her soon but now was not the time.
“That’s the reason why I got the looks, and he . . . well, he looks like that.” The crowd laughed, and even Easton broke. He leaned forward, placing his elbows on the table as he engaged in his brother’s speech. “After bringing Ea
ston home, my parents said, ‘He’s so wonderful. We want another,’ which is how I came to be in the Randolf family. Randolf, you ask? Yes, Easton changed his name when he legally could at eighteen so that it would match his birth certificate.”
Worried eyes began to look back at our table, and I slowly leaned into Easton and muttered, “Four . . .”
“Four what?” he asked, never taking his eyes off Tanner.
“Four wedding fails.”
“Has there been four already?” Easton asked, raising his eyebrows.
“Yes, but this has potential to turn into multiples,” I said, smiling back at everyone. Easton laughed and leaned over to kiss my cheek.
“Three moments stick out in my memory I’d like to share with you about Easton tonight. The first is when he tried to drown me in ice cream when we were young,” Tanner said, flipping his note cards.
“Good god, he’s still going,” Easton muttered, shaking his head.
“You see, I had become too much of a treat. With my dashing looks and all,” Tanner said, causing the bridesmaids, in particular, to giggle. Tanner was quite a looker, and perhaps that was what made it so uncomfortable. “But Easton never had to worry about being second best, because he was the true shining star of the Randolf household. But even though he had the brains, Easton saw it fit to eliminate his competition. Thankfully for me, he didn’t have the muscle for it, and I survived the first attack.” Tanner took a moment to let everyone quiet down before he continued. I peeked over at Brooklyn, who practically had stars in her eyes. The way she looked at Tanner on stage nearly made me blush.
The Kindred Soul of Nora Faye: The Tethered Soul Series, Book 3 Page 5