“I do not!”
Jane raised a brow, and Elizabeth sighed. “Very well. I do not seek to find flaws in him anymore.” She left unsaid that it was only the case for the last two days. “I truly have been attempting to think of it in the best light. However, it is still so new, and there is such a rush around the wedding. I fear it may be many months before I am at all reconciled to it, and by then I shall be Mrs. Darcy.”
“Perhaps if Mr. Bingley does offer for me, you do not have to go through with it. I know Bingley would help our mother and sisters, and we do have relations. You had always desired to marry for love.”
“I did,” Elizabeth agreed. “However, I have made my choice and will not withdraw it. I do not think Mr. Darcy’s heart would be broken if I called it off, but his pride would be gravely wounded. It is not only my life to think about. I may never have found a man I love. If I did, who is to say that we could wed? I am certain that I have as good a chance to be happy with Mr. Darcy as I do with nearly anyone else.”
“Jane,” Kitty called from the stairs, “Mama wants you!”
Jane excused herself, and Elizabeth remained alone to finish her tea and sit in silence. She had not lied to Jane, but in her heart, she wondered if she could ever love Darcy or be truly happy with him. They appeared to have very different personalities. He was handsome. She could not deny it or the attraction she felt for him. She now understood why matrons told their daughters not to engage in such behaviour until betrothed. Who knew kissing could feel so divine? However, there was much to marriage besides lovemaking, and the thought of sitting alone with Darcy every night and attempting to make inane small talk filled her with unease.
The clock struck the top of the hour, and Elizabeth straightened her shoulders. There was no time to think about such things. Ringing the bell for the maid to come and clean up the tea things, including Miss Bingley’s mess, Elizabeth focused her mind on how to raise her father’s spirits. He would enjoy the tale about Miss Bingley and the tea. After, she would read to him. Hearing the doorbell ring and then sounds of her aunt Phillips, Elizabeth hurried to the library before she would have to listen to any of the Meryton news and gossip. She had no head for such frivolity at the moment.
At dinner, Elizabeth heard from her sisters all that was said during Aunt Phillips’s visit.
“My aunt says the most handsome lieutenant has joined the regiment,” Lydia declared at the table. “George Wickham!” She affected a swoon.
“She said he was the most charming young man she had ever met, too,” Kitty added.
“What did they speak about?” asked Elizabeth.
“Oh, just the weather and that Meryton was the nicest market town he had ever visited.” Lydia shrugged.
Elizabeth sighed. “Well, he must be charming to turn such topics into something worth hearing.”
“Lizzy,” Jane admonished.
“I believe Kitty and Lydia follow too much after officers,” Mary said as she nudged her glasses up her nose. “There is more to matrimony than a fine uniform.”
“I suppose all young ladies prefer a handsome and well-dressed young man to those not blessed with beauty.” Mr. Collins glared at Elizabeth. “However, one must consider not only the worthiness of the man’s character but also his situation in life. It does not do a young lady of gentle breeding any credit to stoop too low—that is, a man with a small income—or too high.” Again, he gave Elizabeth a meaningful look.
“Thank you for the reminder, Mr. Collins,” Elizabeth said through gritted teeth. “Your words perfectly support what my mother and father have always taught us.”
“You will forgive me, Cousin Elizabeth, for saying I find that lesson and a great many others require refreshment among my young cousins. As the head of this family—”
“Sir!” Elizabeth and Jane cried at once.
Elizabeth trembled with rage and dared not trust herself to speak. Kitty and Lydia, who had giggled quietly to each other during Mr. Collins’s lecture, looked upon the man with horrified expressions. Even Mary seemed displeased with the rector.
“Pardon me,” Mr. Collins entreated. He appeared genuinely remorseful for a moment, but it did not last long. He had too much conceit to believe himself in the wrong for more than an instant. “I meant to say, as soon-to-be head of this family—”
“Mr. Collins,” Jane said, “you do us a great service by gracing us with your godly wisdom. However, I hesitate to point out that while you are the heir of Longbourn, you are a distant cousin. Upon my father’s demise, you will not be our guardian. We shall not be under your dominion, and you will be the head of an entirely different family.”
The man sat back as though struck. “I see. I came to Longbourn hoping to find a means to lessen the blow to Mr. Bennet’s daughters at my unavoidable inheritance. I came ready to offer matrimony, although I knew they could not give me any material advancement in life. At your father’s unfortunate illness, I have continually said that I would not be unkind. In marrying your sister, you all would be assured of always having a home at Longbourn.”
Elizabeth gaped at him. “Do you forget, sir, that I am to marry Mr. Darcy?”
“While I doubt the event will come to pass, it is not you who I had meant, Miss Elizabeth.” He turned his eyes upon Mary, seated next to him, and picked up her hand.
Mary gasped, tears welling in her eyes, and snatched her hand away. “It occurs to me, Mr. Collins, that you are in a household of unwed ladies whose chaperones are indisposed. Would you not believe, given your situation in life, that it would be better to take a room at the inn? I am sure Hill can see to your things at once.”
“This is how it is to be, then?” Collins threw his napkin on the table and pushed his chair back. “Such ungrateful, headstrong women! Each of you will rue your words this day!”
He stood, but Lydia called after him. “By the bye, Mr. Collins, I had not said a word against you today, but I will now. You are a toad-licker, and I shan’t be sorry if I never see you again!”
Collins glared at her before wrenching the door open. Slamming it shut behind him, he stomped down the hallway. Kitty and Lydia immediately burst into laughter. Mary poked at her food, her hand trembling. Elizabeth ceased her sister’s movements by placing a hand over hers.
“I am very proud of you, Mary. It must have taken a great deal of courage to refuse him. I had thought you fancied him.”
“I thought I did, too,” she said as a tear streaked down her face. “When he paid me attention, I had thought he saw my worth. Instead, all he saw was a prize and revenge. Still, I might have accepted him if he had not insulted you.” Mary squeezed Elizabeth’s hand in return. “Never say you were the only one to sacrifice for this family.”
A moment later, heavy steps were heard, and the front door opened and closed. All five sisters left their seats and gathered around the window to see Mr. Collins walking towards Meryton, muttering to himself. Now and then, they heard words such as demanding, seductress, and ill-mannered.
“What shall we tell Mama?” Kitty asked.
“Say nothing tonight,” Elizabeth answered. “She is already living her worst nightmare with Papa ill. She does not need to know that her second-worst fear—her daughters scaring off a willing suitor—has come to pass. When Mr. Darcy returns tomorrow, I shall tell her that Mr. Collins removed himself to the inn. That is all she need ever know. She will have no reason to fear.”
Jane, Kitty, and Mary left for the drawing room, but Lydia remained. Shutting the door, she turned to Elizabeth and cried, “Oh, Lizzy! Do you really have to marry that awful Mr. Darcy? I should like to live with the Gardiners and be in London all the time.”
“The Gardiners have their own family to support. Also, Mama would never leave Meryton. Although she enjoys visiting London, her nerves could not handle all the bustle. Neither the Gardiners nor the Phillipses have room for us all. We would be separated.”
“Will we not be separated when you marry?” Lydia asked. �
��Once we all marry?”
“It is a very different thing to be separated by the happy occasion of marriage and to a man who can afford frequent travel than it is to be separated by poverty and necessity.”
“Poverty? We are not poor!”
“Do you have any idea how much your trips to the milliner cost?” Elizabeth sighed. “Papa spends at least one hundred pounds on each of us a year. It would be a drastic change in circumstance for us to live on Mama’s money alone.”
“I never thought you would be so mercenary.” Lydia scowled.
“I would disagree that I am.” Elizabeth placed her hands on her hips. “Mr. Darcy is not as bad as you think. He would not suit you, but that is not to say he cannot suit me. I had decided to accept Mr. Collins.”
“But you would not have wanted to—”
“No. I would have had to do it regardless. A person is not mercenary when driven to the choice by necessity. There would be far less to gain out of marriage to Collins than to Darcy. I did not entrap him. He was simply the better choice than Collins.”
“I could never do it.”
“Fortunately for you, you did not have to and will never have to consider that sacrifice. However, you should have a care. I would be far more ill-prepared to marry where my heart is not inclined if I so actively sought to attach it elsewhere. Now it seems you will never have to marry for the sake of your current family. Still, you should consider your future family and if a husband can support one. Unless the man has considerable independence, a lieutenant in the militia is not the sort you should entertain.”
Lydia pouted. “If it is only a flirtation, it should not matter.”
“We cannot control who or when we love. What might begin as a flirtation could turn into more. It would be challenging to choose against your heart at such a time, and yet if you listen to it alone, you might be assured misery in the future.”
“If we were really in love…”
“Love might bear all things, but it does not make all things easy. Additionally, if judged too rapidly, the love is all too fleeting. Do not be in such a hurry to attach yourself. That is all I ask.”
“Very well. I shall try.”
“That is all we can do.”
Elizabeth smiled and linked arms with her sister before leading her to the drawing room. She remained only for half an hour before returning to the library or, as she was beginning to think of it, her father’s sickroom. She had never been the sort to quickly fall in love. Now she wished she was. On the other hand, falling in love with Darcy would surely be the more heartbreaking route as he had promised her nothing but respect and fidelity. Who knew if the man was even capable of romantic feelings?
Chapter Eight
Darcy had no sooner set foot in the entry of his townhouse than he heard a feminine shriek and the running of feet. In a moment, Georgiana threw her arms around his neck, and he lifted her feet off the ground, spinning in a circle.
“Fitzwilliam! You did not say you were coming home!”
He set his sister down. “I have something to tell you. Let me wash off all the dust, and then I shall meet you in the drawing room.”
“Very well.” Georgiana pressed a kiss to his cheek. “I have a new piece to play for you.”
“I can hardly wait to hear it.” Darcy looped her arm through his, and they walked together up the stairs. Soon, they parted. Georgiana returned to the drawing room while Darcy continued on to his chamber.
His valet made quick work of the requisite bathing and changing. In about an hour, Darcy was seated and listened as his sister played her newest sonata. He chatted with Georgiana’s companion to hear a fuller report of what his sister had been doing while he had been at Netherfield. Or rather more importantly, how she had been doing.
“She continues to improve,” Mrs. Annesley said. “The summer experience did wound her, but she is nearly recovered and quite a bit wiser for it.”
Darcy winced at the mention of his sister’s ill-fated romance with his enemy, Mr. Wickham. Once Darcy had been the best of friends with the steward’s son. Years ago, he learned the man’s true character. Unfortunately, he had not shared that with his sister, and she paid the price when the wastrel schemed to elope with her.
“I am glad,” Darcy said. “I am sure you did much to help her spirits.”
“Thank you. It is perhaps unwise for me to say this as I should be more concerned about the security of my employment. However, I would say that all Miss Darcy needed was a feminine touch. She has never been short of love, but she has never had a woman to guide her. If she had a mother or sister…”
“I agree with your assessment entirely. I believe I will soon be rectifying that.”
“Am I to wish you joy, sir?”
“Yes,” Darcy confirmed. “However, I must tell Georgiana first. Might you give us privacy when she is finished with this song? Rest assured that it would not mean the end to your employment. We can confer about the particulars later.”
Mrs. Annesley’s eyes twinkled, but her face remained neutral. “I can hardly say how happy I am for you—you and Miss Darcy both.”
“I am as well.” Darcy grinned.
Georgiana’s song had come to an end, and he clapped and cheered his praise. “Brava! Bellissima!”
Curtseying, Georgiana smiled. She left the instrument and came to her brother’s side. Mrs. Annesley complimented her charge before excusing herself.
“Now, what is your news?” Georgiana asked once seated next to her brother. “Tell me quick, for the instrument has missed its master.”
Darcy chuckled. He had been an awful student in his youth, and now Georgiana delighted in torturing him by attempts at lessons. It was fortunate they did not have animals around that could screech in unison as he stupidly poked at the keys.
Taking a deep breath, he gathered one of his sister’s hands in his. “I know how lonely you have been since leaving school. However, in a few weeks, I believe that loneliness will be banished forever from our homes.”
Georgiana’s brow furrowed. “What do you mean?”
“I am marrying a delightful young woman whom I met in Hertfordshire. Her name is Elizabeth Bennet. She has four sisters, and I know she will love you as I do.”
His sister’s jaw dropped, and she blinked rapidly. “I—I do not understand. You are taking a woman you barely know as a wife, all so I will not be lonely? I have Mrs. Annesley!”
Frowning, Darcy paused before answering. He had expected a different reaction from Georgiana. “Is there someone else you prefer for me?”
“No.”
She had answered too quickly. Darcy sighed. “Dearest, I will tell you as I have told our aunts and uncle. I am uninterested in matchmaking. I had always meant to find my own wife, and at last, I have found her.”
“Do not make it sound as though you have been searching for a wife for years. We both know this was a sudden decision based solely on my folly last summer.” Georgiana crossed her arms over her chest.
“My decision to find a wife this season is not based on the events which you reference at all. I felt it was time I found a wife. Your experience with that scoundrel has only served to illuminate to me what kind of woman would best guide you to adulthood.”
“And no woman of our acquaintance could fit that need? Caroline—”
Darcy held up a hand. “Miss Bingley is my dear friend’s sister, and I know she has been a companion to you. However, she is not the sort that you need to learn from.”
“Indeed? Well, she would never attempt to elope with the steward’s son. I had thought I would do well to emulate her.”
Pulling his sister to his side, Darcy draped an arm across her shoulder and hugged her. “You need a sister who can help you gain the confidence to be yourself. Elizabeth does not worry about all the gossips and what Society has to say.”
Georgiana was silent for a moment. “I recall that name now. She stayed at Netherfield, did she not? It seemed like you did not app
rove of her situation in life.”
Darcy released his sister, blushing a little and scratching the back of his head. “Perhaps I protested a bit too vehemently.”
His sister grinned. “Very well. I shall love her as you do.”
The dinner gong rang, and Georgiana rose from her seat. Darcy, however, froze in shock. He had not considered that his sister and others might speculate that his marriage to Elizabeth was a love match. Did he not just explain to Georgiana the reasons for his engagement?
His sister paused at the door and looked expectantly at him. As he finally stood and walked to her side, Darcy considered that he had never cared for the idle opinion of others. It would do them no harm for people to suppose they loved one another. He already admired and respected her and believed, in time, they would grow to be genuinely fond of one another. If the world believed that to be love all because she had hardly a pound to her name and was not of his circle, then he really did not care.
The next morning, Darcy rode to Doctors’ Commons and applied for a special license. As Elizabeth’s father was deathly ill, proven by his own testament and that of the surgeon, Darcy was assured it would be ready the following day. Returning to his home, he attended to his letters of business while Georgiana went about her daily routine until an unexpected knock disrupted him.
Unease filled him when the butler announced, “Lord Fitzwilliam, sir.”
Darcy glanced up at his uncle and prayed for patience. Offering the man a seat and a drink, he readied himself for battle.
“You have finally done it! I know Catherine has been after you for ages, but—”
Word travelled quickly in Town. As soon as his uncle was announced, Darcy knew it would be about the fact that he had been seen applying for a marriage license. “I am not marrying Anne.”
“You are not?”
Taking great joy in flummoxing his uncle, Darcy offered no additional information at first.
“To be sure, you could do better than her. However, you are not courting anyone. Who is the lady, then?”
“You presume to know all my movements?” Darcy raised a brow at his uncle. “Her name is Miss Elizabeth Bennet. Her father has a small estate in Hertfordshire, near Meryton.”
Mr. Darcy's Grieving Wife Page 6