Yep, I’m whipped.
And since she’s never given any sign of reciprocating my feelings, I’ve kept how I feel locked away.
Yeah, I know. I’m pathetic. But I can’t help how I feel, just like Alexis can’t help how she feels, just like Blaine can’t help how his dick feels, and Masie can’t help how she needs to be the center of attention twenty-four fucking seven.
Yeah, feelings suck.
Even though Alexis tells me to get lost, I park at the curb and push the shifter into park.
“Now, is that any way to talk to your friend?” I tease, sneaking in a moment to discreetly check her out, unsure what she’d do if she actually caught me, and I don’t really care.
Her hair is a tangled mess of brown waves that flow down her back; she doesn’t have a drop of makeup on; and her shorts show off her long, lean legs.
Yep, there goes the mental porn show again.
“Your very best friend, for that matter,” I add.
“You’re not my best friend.” She rolls her eyes. “And really, I doubt you think that.”
I press my hand to my chest, pretending to be offended. “Wow, that really hurts. All these years, I thought we were like this.” I hold up my hand with my fingers crossed. “Now, come to find out, I’ve been living a delusional lie.”
“A lie you’ve been telling yourself,” she quips. “I had nothing to do with it.”
“Yeah, right, you’ve totally been sending mixed signals.”
She narrows her gaze at me, yet a playful glint flickers in her eyes. “I so have not.”
“You have to.” I fake pout. “Think about all those times we shared secrets, painted each other’s toenails, and braided each other’s hair.”
She rolls her eyes. “Hate to break it to ya, but you and Blaine have been doing the BFF thing all wrong. That’s not what best friends do.”
“Well, don’t tell him that.” I wink. “I like getting my hair braided.”
She eyeballs my chin-length, blond hair and smirks. “I bet you do. And I bet you look really pretty, too.”
“Aw, you think I’m pretty?”
“Pretty annoying.”
“Ouch, Alexis, you’re aiming straight for my heart today.”
Her gaze drops to the ground, and I get the feeling she’s trying to hide the hurt flooding her eyes. “Yeah, well, I’m in a shitty mood,” she mumbles, kicking at the dirt with the tip of her boot. “Sorry. I shouldn’t take it out on you.”
“It’s okay. I understand.” I pause, unsure what the right thing to say is, or if there’s even a right thing to say. “Masie called me about an hour ago.”
Her gaze snaps up to mine, her eyes so big and gorgeous yet conveying so much pain. It makes me want to punch Blaine and burn all of Masie’s clothes because, to her, that’s about the equivalent of a kick to the balls.
Alexis eyes me over warily. “What exactly did she tell you?”
“That you caught her and Blaine kissing in the pool.”
“Oh.” She grows silent, her expression guarded. “Aren’t you wondering why that’d upset me?”
I hesitate. “I already know … Have since high school.”
Her expression plummets, and she starts to step back like she’s going to run away.
“Oh no, you don’t.” I hop out of the car and reach to grab ahold of her, but she spins around and takes off toward the playground.
I could just let her go, let her hide away until she feels like talking, but that’s not really my style. So, I chase after her, and when I catch up to her, I wrap my arms around her waist and haul her back against me. Her back slams into my chest, and she curses like a sailor. Me, I go completely hard as her ass presses against me.
God, that feels so good … like, really good. I want to kiss her so damn bad…
God, this whole love thing is getting completely out of hand.
“Um, West?” Alexis says with a nervous edge in her tone. “You doing okay back there?”
I suddenly realize three things:
She’s gone still in my arms.
I have her pressed so close she can probably feel my hard-on.
My lips have wandered to her neck, and I’ve started to suck on her skin. Like, one-step-away-from-I’m-going-to-suck-your-blood kind of suck.
“Yeah?” I clear my throat a stupid amount of times.
Normally, I’m not such a babbling pussy. In fact, I can be quite charming when I want to be. But, with Alexis, I know my feelings for her will end with my heart ripped out of my chest.
See? Again, point proven—feelings suck.
“Are you sure?” She sounds horrified. Or, well, mostly horrified, with a drop of amusement. “Or, have you recently been bitten by a vampire? If you’re not sure, we can cross-reference your symptoms with the vampire symptoms list. I’m sure there’s something on the internet.”
Okay, now she just sounds amused.
“You think you’re funny?” I question. I’m not irritated. If anything, I’m curious.
She didn’t get mad at me after I just sucked on her neck. What does that mean?
I shake my head at the stupid voice inside my head. What does that mean? I mock myself. Seriously, West, you sound like Blaine when he’s whining over not getting laid enough.
My lips part with a comeback, but Alexis interrupts me.
“Stupid shit, damn, crap, troll babies.” She’s breathing so heavily you’d think the damn girl just ran a marathon.
“Well, that was attractive,” I joke through a chuckle.
“I’m not trying to be attractive.” She wiggles out of her arms, spins around, and crouches down in front of me, putting her face right by my dick. “Masie’s over there in the parking lot.”
I glance to my right and, sure enough, Masie is wandering around in the parking lot, glancing inside cars. Still, that doesn’t explain …
“Look, I get why you don’t want to see her.” I slip my fingers through her hair, fighting the urge to push her closer to my dick. “But I’m really confused how acting like you’re going to suck me off is going to keep her from spotting you. I mean, don’t get me wrong, if we were in my car, I’d totally let you suck away. But I don’t want our first time to be in front of half the damn neighborhood.”
Sucking in a sharp breath, she trips to her feet. The shocked look on her face has me verging toward laughing my ass off, but the flush spreading across her cheeks and the way she sinks her teeth into her bottom lip distracts me.
What the hell is she thinking? And why does she look … curious?
I start to step forward to do … well, I’m not sure, but something that’ll definitely only get more blood pumping through me. Then I get cock-blocked by a blonde-haired, screaming banshee running across the grass straight at us.
“Alexis!” Masie screeches, waving her hands in the air like we can’t already see or hear her. Everyone within a five-mile radius probably can.
Alexis gives me a helpless, pleading look. It’s a look that would get me to agree to do anything, even eat a strawberry. And no, I’m not kidding, Strawberries are fucking weird with their seeds and their squishiness. Seriously, they shouldn’t even be a food.
“I don’t want to talk to her,” Alexis says, her big eyes pleading with me to help her.
I don’t think. I just act, grabbing her hand.
“Then let’s get out of here.” I take off toward my car and smile when she easily follows.
If only she wasn’t following me just to run away.
Alexis
I can’t believe I’m running away with West. I can’t believe West is helping me. I can’t believe I want his help. No, what I really can’t believe is that West was getting a little too happy down south while he was holding me. He had to be thinking about someone else, because there’s no way he can see me like that.
Still, I feel like I’ve time warped into another dimension where nothing in my life makes sense anymore. Blaine and Masie kissing … West biting my
neck …
My fingers drift to the spot of skin he nibbled on, warmth spreading through me.
It felt so good…
“Where do you want me to take you?” West asks after we hop into his car.
I blink at him. Huh? What did he just say?
“Um, what?”
The corner of his lips tugs up into a lopsided smirk. “Jeez, I never knew you had such a dirty mind.” He pauses, chewing on his bottom lip. “But, if you really want to, then …” He gives an insinuating look at the backseat while waggling his eyebrows. “I’ve always wanted to do it in my backseat.”
I roll my eyes, but on the inside, my stomach does a weird kickflip. I tell it to shut the hell up. I’m not the kind of girl who gets excited over a guy’s dirty remark.
“Yeah, right,” I say. “Like you haven’t screwed someone there already. You’re such a little manwhore.”
His brow arches upward. “Says who?”
“Says everyone.”
“When’s the last time you heard someone say I’m a manwhore?”
“Um …” Come to think of it, it’s been a while. “I don’t know … Maybe a year ago.”
“Exactly,” he says, his gaze burning into mine. “And you knew why I was a man skank back then.”
True. A couple of years ago, West admitted his parents were fighting all the time, which was weird to hear since most of the town thought they were the perfect couple. Even West had thought so. When they started fighting all the time, his view on love changed. At least, that’s what he told me one night after we raided Blaine’s dad’s whiskey cabinet. Blaine had passed out after three shots—the dude’s such a light weight—and West and I stayed up playing cards.
I hugged him that night and, for the craziest moment, I thought he was going to kiss me. But he didn’t, and I’m pretty sure I misread the entire situation. Wouldn’t be the first time. Thankfully, Blaine woke up and puked all over the floor. Yeah, it was gross, but it stopped me from doing something stupid, like leaning in with my lips puckered like a fish.
I’m yanked from my thoughts as Masie nears the car, shouting meaningless apologies at the top of her lungs.
“West, please, pretty please, get me away from the raving lunatic running right at your car,” I say in a desperate plea with my hands clasped in front of me. “I don’t know what I’ll do if I talk to her, and honestly, I don’t want to deal with it right now.”
“Oh yeah, right,” he says, like he forgot all about Masie, which would definitely be a first for a guy. He revs up the engine. “Let’s get you out of here.” He shifts gears and presses on the gas, the tires spinning and kicking up a cloud of dirt as we peel out of the parking lot.
I peer over my shoulder and out the window, a sick, satisfying smile growing on my face at the sight of Masie, surrounded by a cloud of dust, her hair messed up and missing one shoe.
Okay, now that’s a picture I thought I’d never see.
“You look way too pleased right now,” West teases as we speed down the road.
“Sorry.” But I’m really not.
He chuckles. “You don’t need to be sorry about it. Masie deserves a face full of dirt.” He sighs, gripping the steering wheel. “She deserves more for what she did to you.”
I pick at my fingernails, feeling squirmy over how much he seems to understand the situation. I hate feeling squirmy. I like control. Control keeps you from getting hurt. Control stops the pain. Right now, I’m not in control, and that’s probably why my heart aches so badly.
“How long have you known? I mean, about me … liking …” I blow out a breath, unable to say his name aloud.
“Blaine?” he finishes, and I nod. He lifts a shoulder. “I first thought you did when we were about sixteen.”
My insides tighten. “How? I mean, what gave me away?”
He moves one hand off the steering wheel to reach over and graze his finger along the corner of my eye. “It was the way you looked at him.”
“Oh.” I crinkle my nose, disappointment in myself. “I didn’t realize I was that obvious.”
“It wasn’t that obvious,” he assures. “At least, not enough for Blaine to catch on.”
I almost relax. “So, he doesn’t know?”
He shakes his head, returning his hand to the steering wheel. “He’s never said anything to me.”
I release a breath of relief. “That’s good.”
He cocks his brow. “Why?”
“Why the hell would I want him to know I’m in love with him?”
His fingers tense on the steering wheel. “So, you are in love with him, huh?”
“I thought you already said you knew?”
“I knew you liked him, and I guessed you might be in love with him, but I wasn’t completely sure.”
I eye him over. Why does he seem so upset about it?
He looks away, focusing on the road, his lean arms tense.
We drive in silence for an uncomfortable amount of time and my mind starts to wander to Blaise and Masie. Blaise and Masie in the pool. Blaise and Masie kissing. How pissed off I felt—feel. How hurt I—
“Are you sure you are, though?” West asks so suddenly I nearly scream.
My heart races in my chest as I look at him. “Am I sure what?”
“That you’re in love with him.”
Great. Is he still on that?
“What kind of question is that?” I sound offended, and I don’t even know why. He didn’t do anything to me. None of this is his fault.
“I didn’t mean to piss you off,” he says, giving me an apologetic sidelong glance. “But, sometimes people think they’re in love with someone, but their feelings are more of an infatuation than actual love.”
“You say that like you’re speaking from experience.”
“Nah. It takes me a lot to fall in love with someone.”
“Have you ever been in love before?” I reach into my pocket to silence my phone as it buzzes for the hundredth time, and my fingers graze the edge of the note left in the driveway.
His jaw clenches as he stares ahead at the road. “Maybe once or twice.”
My heart twinges at the hint of pain in his tone. “Aw, West, did someone break your heart?”
Sure, we’re not BFFs—although, at this point, I might beg him to fill in the position since I currently lost two—but that doesn’t mean I don’t care about him.
He gives a shrug. “I’m not sure yet.”
I angle my head to the side in confusion. “That doesn’t really make any sense.”
“Of course it does.” He catches my gaze. “If I haven’t told the person I’m in love with them.”
My lips for an O. “Okay, I get it. So, we’re kind of in the same boat then, since I haven’t told Blaine how I feel either.”
“Maybe.” He restlessly taps his fingers on top of the steering wheel. “Do you think you will?”
I firmly shake my head. “Definitely not now.”
“Do you think you would’ve if”—he hesitates—“if you hadn’t caught Masie and Blaine doing … well, you know.”
Honestly, no, I don’t know. Sure, I saw them kissing, but that doesn’t mean it was the first time they made out. For all I know, they’ve hooked up a ton and I’ve just been blind and naive. Then, why did Masie keep insisting Blaine likes me and encouraging me to go for it? Who knows? Perhaps she was messing with my head and getting some sort of twisted pleasure out of watching my heart shatter. That doesn’t really sound like Masie, but at this point, I’m not sure I know her at all. Maybe I never did. Perhaps she was one of those plastic people—fake on the outside and the inside.
I sigh heavily. “I really have no idea.”
He nods, silence stretching between.
“What is that in your hand?” he asks suddenly, his gaze dropping to my hand.
“What? This?” I hold up my car keys. “My car broke down at Masie’s.”
“That sucks…” He pauses, considering something. “Maybe I c
an help you fix it. You know I’m good at that stuff.”
“I know, but I don’t like freebies.”
“Maybe it could be a belated birthday present,” he suggests, glancing at me.
“You already gave me a present,” I remind him, looking down at the lovely studded leather band bracelet I currently am wearing on my wrist and.
Seriously, we may fight light angry cats most of the time, but he always gives me the best gifts. The kind that makes me question if he knows me better than I think he does.
He glances down at the bracelet as well and a small smile pulls at his lips before he returns his attention to the road. “I don’t mind helping you out, Lex. It’s not a freebie or anything. It’s just one friend helping another.”
“We’re friends?” I ask, partially teasing, but partially serious.
He lifts a shoulder. “I think so, but it kind of hurts that you don’t.”
I feel kind of bad in that moment, enough that I decide to momentarily stop being stubborn.
“All right, you can help me if you want to.” I sit up straighter in the seat. “But I want to do most of the work.”
He chuckles. “Okay, cute girl.”
“Okay….” I trail off. Wait. Back the hell up. “Wait a sec. Did you just call me cute?”
He rolls his eyes. “I’ve called you cute before.”
Now I roll my eyes. “Yeah, when you were teasing me, which you do all the time, FYI.”
“How do you know I’m teasing you?” He smiles, highly amused. “Maybe I mean everything I’ve ever said to you.”
“So, you really believe I’m a fairy princess from the realm of Spoiled Brat?” I repeat the nickname he gave me in fifth grade.
“Hey, that was a long time ago. You can’t hold that against me, or I’ll hold it against you that you called me West the pest who lives in a rat’s nest.” His muses over something. “You know, when I really think about it, we were pretty clever for grade schoolers.”
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