Of course, I had no proof that she was a gold digger, and it wouldn’t be easy to get it, either, given Brenda’s Oscar-worthy performance pretending to be the contrite ex-girlfriend who wanted nothing more than a better life for her child.
Honestly, if I hadn’t seen firsthand what she was capable of doing, I would be appalled at my own train of thought. But as it was, there was little I could except prove that the baby wasn’t mine.
And, that was hard enough when Brenda slept with her bedroom closed and rarely let me touch her unless it was with her consent. For now, I needed to focus on piercing through the fog that had settled over Gwen, waving my hands until she saw me.
With that thought in mind, I wandered into the stables, finding her among the horses, seated on the ground with her knees against her chest, her blue eyes staring vacantly ahead.
Her head snapped up when she heard me come in, and a dark and shuttered look went off behind her eyes. She stood up and brushed her hands along the back of her jeans.
“Can I help you?”
“Gwen,” I began, moving, so I was closer to her. “I know this is bad, but you have to believe that I’m going to find a way out of this.”
She bent over, picked up a brush, and started combing one of the horses, eyebrows furrowed in concentration. “What are you talking about?”
“I know you’re not happy about Brenda being here,” I pointed out. “The only reason you’re trying to be okay with it is that it’s the best thing to do.”
She shrugged. “So?”
“So, you don’t have to,” I insisted, reaching for her hand. It had been two weeks since she let me touch her, and I tensed, waiting for her to draw back or push me away.
“What do you expect me to do, Nick? Watch you have a baby with someone else? Be the third wheel?” she demanded, her voice barely above a whisper, staring down at our hands as if they were diseased.
I shook my head. “No, of course not. You would never be a third wheel.”
“You’re right,” she acknowledged. “I’m not even that. Do you have any idea how hard the past two weeks have been? Watching her throw herself at you and talk about baby stuff? She’s already replaced me.”
That explained why she was keeping me at arm’s length: fear that my sense of responsibility towards Brenda and the baby would win out over my feelings for her. This entire time, she’d been feeling estranged, the distance between us a chasm.
“That isn’t true,” I protested, tugging on her hand and wrapping my arms around her. She stood stiff at first, refusing to react until I started stroking her back, running my fingers over the tense muscles, willing her to admit it.
Finally, she sagged against me, her arms going up around my neck and a small shudder wracking through her body.
“Brenda is nothing compared to you,” I whispered. “She’s not even close. We had a thing once, and that’s it. But you, Gwen. You are something else.”
She stirred, drawing back to look at my face. “But you’re having a baby with her. What kind of future could we possibly have?”
I pressed my forehead against hers, inhaling deeply. “I don’t know yet, but I’m going to figure it out. Just please don’t give up on us yet. Please.”
I’d never begged anyone for anything in my entire life, and it wasn’t easy for me to utter those words and make myself vulnerable in that way, but I had to make her understand, to just give me a little bit of time to sort through this.
It was all I needed.
“I should get back inside.” Gwen pulled back, untangling her arms from around me. “It’s late, and I’m sure they’ll need some help around the house.”
“Gwen, I-”
“Me neither,” Gwen interrupted inaudibly as she hurried out of the barn, letting the door fall shut behind her.
Chapter 3
GWEN.
To his credit, Nick was handling it all really well, between the pressure to ward off any prospective buyers — including Bill who was still hanging around — and handling the fact that in a few months he would become a father.
At least, as far as I could tell.
Trying to stave off other prospective buyers as was no easy task, not even close. I had no idea how he did it, but I admired him all the more for it. As for me, I kept my nose to the ground and did my job, my days filled with nothing but chores, working myself to the bone, so I would fall into a quick and exhausted sleep.
It was the only way for me to sleep soundly at night, without my mind tugging me in a million different directions...wondering about Nick on one end of the hall, with Brenda on the other, snoring loudly.
Well, at least Nick was trying now.
Granted, he looked pained when I saw him running around like a headless chicken, attempting to make Brenda as comfortable as possible while simultaneously keeping an eye on the ranch.
Honestly, I felt bad for him and wanted to offer my help, but I didn’t think it was a good idea, not with our emotional history. Besides, I didn’t trust myself not to melt into his arms if he looked at me again, whispering my name like it was his saving grace.
With Sam out of the picture, I was able to see more clearly, scrubbing the dirty lens till it was pristine. Unfortunately, that also made this whole thing much harder, watching Nick run around trying to make the most out of the situation.
I wasn’t sure if Brenda qualified as someone who cared about in the ranch. In fact, I was fairly certain I’d heard her mutter about the “run down piece of crap” on more than one occasion. But she insisted on staying, refusing to allow Nick to pay for her stay at a hotel.
My guess was she wanted to be as close to Nick as possible, and I couldn’t blame her. Except for the dirty looks she gave me every now and again when she thought I wasn’t looking, eyes narrowed and nostrils flared, she largely kept to herself.
Out with one ex and in with the other.
Fate sure had a pretty twisted sense of humor, throwing one curveball after the other at us, proving time and time again that we just weren’t meant to be together. I didn’t know if I believed that, or if I just told myself to soothe my aching heart every night as I went to sleep.
My feelings for Nick hadn’t disappeared — if anything they’d gotten worse, making it so I could hardly breathe when he was around. The only thing that helped was space, so I pushed him away, making it easier on the both of us.
I wandered back into the main house after a long day working and stood outside, washing the mud off my shoes with the hose. When I was done, I slipped them off and held them in my hands, tiptoeing quietly so as to avoid disrupting anyone else.
The door creaked as I nudged it open, but it fell quiet with a soft click, barely audible as I headed towards the stairs. I froze at the sound of Nick’s voice pitched low, but the frustration carrying through.
“Find me something, Matt,” he urged. “She’s driving me crazy.”
A pause.
“No, I don’t think it is my baby, but I can’t very well kick her out if I don’t know, can I? I don’t even know how she tracked me down. This ranch is privately owned, so she would have to be a hell of a stalker to have pulled this off.”
In spite of my better judgment, I left my shoes by the stairs and crept forward, curious about the rest of the conversation. I knew it was a bad idea to eavesdrop, and the voice of reason inside my head told me to hit the brakes and quit while I was ahead, but I ignored it.
Considering I kept my distance, this was one of the few times I got to hear Nick and watch him without feeling like a boulder was on the middle of my chest, pressing down. Behind the colored glass, I could see him pacing, the phone pressed to his ear.
“She’s crazy, Matt. No, I don’t mean in a way where I’m trying to make her look bad, but before we broke up, she almost tanked a few of my deals because I wasn’t giving her enough attention. And, now she’s showing up weeks after my apartment was trashed? I don’t think that’s a coincidence.”
My hands flew ov
er my mouth, stifling the gasp of surprise.
No wonder he didn’t trust her, I thought. Brenda sounded like a handful, but it didn’t mean she was lying about this. After all, people could change, and I’d heard plenty of stories about how motherhood elevated women, made them better human beings.
That had to be the case with Brenda.
“What do you mean, why would she trash my apartment? To find a way to get my money, of course. She was never happy unless I was spending a shitload of money on her. That’s just the kind of woman she is, Matt. I’ve been around plenty of women like that. Only interested in the money.”
At that moment, I had to resist the urge to run into the room and throw my arms around him, an apology for all those who came before me and couldn’t love him right.
Nick sighed, a defeated and heavy sound. “Just keep looking, Matt. Call me if you find anything.”
Chapter 4
NICK.
All I needed was time alone with Gwen, just a stolen moment or two to show her that we could still do this — we could still be good together. Everything that was happening was designed to tear us apart, and I wasn’t going to let it.
Not now that I knew that Gwen had feelings for me.
It was a strange thing to acknowledge and even more to reciprocate. After all, plenty of women had claimed they cared for me over the years, some of them even throwing themselves at my feet, declaring their eternal love, only to turn around and get bored once I started cutting them off.
Admittedly, it was a rather manipulative way of weeding out those who were true from those who weren’t, but it ended up working out for me. Case in point. Aside from my financial advisor and a few business partners, I had no one had sincerely cared for me.
Me, Nick, the person.
Not Nick Parker the billionaire.
Truthfully, I hadn’t allowed myself to dwell on it too much, thinking that it was probably better if I didn’t have a significant other who would want my time and energy, both of which were better spent elsewhere.
At the end of the day, I was trying to build an empire, and that meant I had no room for a love life, nor did I believe I cared for one.
Until now.
Being so close to Gwen, just within arms’ reach, yet unable to tell her everything I felt, pouring my heart out on the line wasn’t easy. In fact, it was damn near the hardest thing I ever had to do — and that was saying something considering I’d brokered a lot of intense deals.
No, this was different. She was different.
And I wanted to tell her, but I couldn’t. It wasn’t just because she turned tails and headed the other way whenever she saw me coming; it was also because of Brenda, who insisted on staying in the ranch and pushing herself in my face whenever she got the chance.
Thus far, Matt hadn’t been able to find shit.
That meant one of two things. Either Brenda was a hell of an actress, a mastermind capable of covering her tracks, or she was actually telling the truth. The former I could handle, I even expected of her. The latter was what I had trouble with.
“Mr. Owens,” I greeted, inclining my head in his direction. “Have you seen Gwen?”
Mr. Owens smiled. “Missing your woman already, eh? Ah, young love. I reckon, it’s about the sweetest thing I’ve ever seen.”
I smiled weakly. “Thank you.”
“I heard her say she was headed out for the day.”
“Out?” I repeated, eyebrows scrunched together.
He used the back of his hand to wipe the sweat off his brow. “That poor girl hasn’t had a day off in ages. She deserves a night out, I reckon.”
Dressed in his overalls, with a shovel in his hand, a straw hat to protect him from the sun, and a toothpick dangling from his lips, Mr. Owens looked every inch the countryman tending to his land, and I was struck with the sudden urge to laugh at the stereotype, despite knowing he wouldn’t appreciate the humor.
“Right, I completely forgot about that,” I replied. “I think she mentioned it yesterday, but I was tired.”
He smiled faintly. “Take it easy now, old boy.”
I smiled back. “Sure. Take it easy, Mr. Owens.”
I gave him a quick nod and hurried off, a twinge of disappointment coursing through me over Gwen’s absence. It felt strange to be wandering around the ranch without her there, waiting around every corner, but mostly sticking to the barn.
She was as much a part of the ranch as the old house was.
I coughed, my hands coming up to my mouth to ward off a strange smell. Suddenly, a pillow of black smoke rose up in the air, darkening the clouds. I frowned and quickened my pace, heading in the general direction of the smoke, trying to see if I could help.
When I rounded the corner, I froze, my eyes widening at the sight of the black cloud hanging over the barn, raining ash down, and the putrid smell of burning wood invading my nostrils and filling up my lungs.
I cupped my hands around my mouth and screamed at the top of my lungs. “Fire! In the barn! Someone help!”
Without waiting for the cavalry to arrive, I raced forward, yanking on the doors with all my might and hoping to get to the horses before any real damage happened. The smoke was so thick, I could barely see, stopping every two minutes to cough until I touched the mane of one of the horses.
Carefully, I lead the horse outside, handing him off to one of the ranch hands before I snatched his bandana and tied it around my mouth. Despite their initial unease, the whinnying in protest, the horses were able to recognize that I was trying to help and followed me, pressing their snouts against my palm.
Behind me, people were scrambling to fill buckets with water in an attempt to douse the raging fire. So far, it seemed contained to the barn, for which I was thankful.
Finally, I was able to lead out the last horse, and I collapsed into a heap, nearly falling face-first into the mud. Mr. Owens placed his hands underneath my armpits, along with another man I didn’t recognize, and they heaved me up, carrying me across to the main house where I was deposited into a chair and handed a glass of cool water.
With the bandana, Mr. Owens wiped the soot off of my face and instructed me to take deep breaths, pausing as I coughed, feeling like I was hacking up a lung rather than ashes.
“What happened?”
The crowd parted, and Gwen rushed forward, fear written all over her face.
Chapter 5
GWEN.
I didn’t think I’d ever been as terrified as I was in that instant — with clouds of black smoke rising up in the air and the smell of something burning making bile rise in the back of my throat.
I’d been walking back to the ranch with my mind a million miles away when I spotted it, my steps hurrying on their own accord. Naturally, my first concern was for the people, but once I spotted the barn as the source of the fire, my heart leaped inside my chest, fear making me cover the remaining distance in leaps and bounds.
Finally, I skidded to a halt outside the barn where the fire was thankfully winding down, after being put out through a collective team effort. The horses stood a few feet away, unscathed but looking more than a little spooked.
I threw my arms around them, taking a few minutes with each to scratch behind their ears and murmur nonsense under my breath. My heart thudded against my chest, pumping adrenaline through my veins and making me feel like I was on high alert, every nerve end acutely aware of my surroundings.
Once I made sure the horses were okay, I made my way back to the main house, searching for Nick, although the voice of reason inside my head told me I shouldn’t. Besides, why would Nick be out here?
In all likelihood, he was probably safe and sound inside the house, making calls to ascertain the extent and cost of the damage, forever the practical businessman. Much to my surprise, I found him sprawled out on a chair on the front porch, covered from head to toe in soot, practically unrecognizable as Mr. Owens hovered near him.
“What happened?” I called out, my body moving
of its own accord, making a beeline for him. Up close, he looked far more haggard than I imagined, and he smelled awful, making my stomach recoil, but he had no visible injuries.
“I saved the horses,” Nick revealed, surprise coloring his tone.
“You what?” I asked, peering at him closely.
“He saved the horses,” Mr. Owens repeated, sounding a little dazed himself. “Mr. Parker was the one who spotted the fire, and he called out for help as he rushed in to save the horses.”
Well, I’ll be damned.
Just when I thought I had him figured out, Nick turned around and did something like that. A purely selfless and noble act, without expecting anything in return. There was nothing to be gained from saving those animals, no profit to be yielded, but he’d gone ahead and done it anyway.
Not that Nick was heartless or anything, but I’d often wondered if he was too focused on the finish line to notice what was around him — an entire world at the tips of his fingers.
At the very least, I’d expected him to say he’d sent someone in to save the horses while he stood outside and helped, keeping a safe distance between himself and the raging inferno.
“But you could’ve gotten hurt,” I pointed out, dumbfounded. “What were you thinking?”
“I was thinking that I had to get them out,” he replied, sheepishly, his dark eyes gazing at me intently. “Especially because you weren’t there.”
So, he had done it for me, in part.
“Let me take you inside,” I offered, the feeling that someone was glaring holes at the back of my head flaring up. Inside, we’d have a bit more privacy, and the worst of the fire was over, so they didn’t need my help.
I took Nick’s arm and wrapped it around my shoulder, his weight partially resting against mine as I led him up the stairs and to his bedroom. I spread out a sheet across the bed and set him down on top of it, moving towards the bathroom to get the first aid kit.
Secret Series: A Stealthy Billionaire Romance Box Set Page 11