“Yeah, but that was because of luck, not competence,” I reminded him, not unkindly.
“Yes, but now we know that someone is after the ranch, so we’ll be more careful,” he argued, confidence seeping into his tone. “But you have to trust me on this, okay?”
I scrunched up my face. “Meh, I guess.”
“You guess?” Nick clutched his shirt and pretended to be offended. “You’re wounding my ego here, Gwen. Where’s the trust? Where’s the faith?”
“All gone,” I deadpanned.
“Damn. That brutal, huh?” he said, amusement coloring his tone. “It’s going to be okay, you’ll see.”
“When did you turn into such an optimist?”
“How do you know I wasn’t one all along?”
I WIPED MY HAND ACROSS my mouth and reached for the flusher, pushing it down as hard as I could, wrinkling my nose at the smell. With my nightgown plastered to my back and sweat soaking it, I stripped it off and stepped underneath the shower, letting the hot water soothe my nerves.
Absentmindedly, I reached for the bar of soap and ran it over my body, pausing when I reached the soles of my feet. A few seconds later, I heard the shower curtain swish, and Nick’s voice sounded.
“Are you okay, baby?” he asked, concern filling his tone. “Did you throw up again?”
“Yeah, I think it must be a bug or something,” I replied, injecting as much cheer as I could into my voice. “I think I heard that something was going around.”
He poked his head between the shower curtains and offered me a sympathetic smile. “I’m sorry, honey. Do you want me to make you anything? Maybe some tea?”
I shook my head, my stomach recoiling at the thought. “No, I think that’ll just make it worse.”
“Here,” he offered, holding out his hand. “At least let me do this for you.”
Curious, I gave him the bar soap and turned around, my eyes fluttering closed when he began to run it over my back, down the curve of my hips and in between my thighs. His grip sure and gentle, smoothing away any leftover tension.
My entire body practically hummed underneath his touch. I placed my hands on either side of the wall, giving myself to him completely. A few minutes later, I spun on my heel and pressed my lips to his for a sweet kiss.
“Thank you,” I murmured, appreciatively. “I’ll be in bed in a few minutes, okay?”
Nick nodded and gave me an appreciative once over. “Okay.”
Slowly, I towel dried myself, taking my sweet time with it. I reached for another towel and rubbed it over my hair, shaking away the droplets of water. Once I was ready, I padded into the bedroom on the tips of my toes and walked over to the closet, taking out a pair of shorts and a t-shirt.
Seconds later, I was in crawling in between the sheets, reaching for Nick on impulse. His eyes opened, and he regarded me warmly, his hand came up to rest atop my stomach.
“Feeling better?” he asked, rubbing his hands back forth. “Sure I can’t make you that tea?”
I nodded and snuggled closer against him. “I’m sure.”
“If it doesn’t get better by the end of the week, will you go to a doctor?” he asked. “Just to rule out anything serious.”
I pressed a kiss to his cheek. “Yes, don’t worry. I will. Let’s go to sleep, okay?”
IN THE PALM OF MY HANDS were two different tests, and I couldn’t figure out which one was the best. With a baseball cap atop my head and oversized hoodie, I hoped no one would recognize me out here, or else the rumor mill would never stop.
Finally, I shoved both to the bottom of the basket and hurried to the cashier, unable to meet him in the eye. I piled the other items atop the tests, my pulse jittery and unsteady as I begged for it to be negative.
I couldn’t be pregnant, I thought.
After all, I was on the pill, and it was ninety-nine percent effective, so the chances were slim to none. I just didn’t want to be that one in a million chance. Not only was I far from ready, but I doubted Nick would react well to the news.
He was already freaking out over Brenda’s baby, so I doubted he’d be leaping for joy at the news that he was having another kid. More to the point, I didn’t want to be a mom.
Not yet, at least.
Motherhood was something that I’d envisioned for myself down the line, when I was far more stable and settled in life — not when I was still working on a ranch and could be evicted if things went south.
I reached for my shopping bag and walked to the ranch, taking the long way back, so I could clear my thoughts. I wasn’t going to get an abortion, that wasn’t even an option for me, not with my beliefs.
So, if I were pregnant — and based on my missed period, there was every chance that I was — I either had to keep the baby or put it up for adoption. The second option made my stomach twist into knots and filled me with unease.
Naturally, no mother in the world would want to part with their baby, but maybe there was someone out there who give my unborn child a better life than the one I’d chosen for myself.
I shook my head as the ranch loomed up ahead, my sandaled feet slapping against the pavement. Once inside, I took the steps quickly till I reached my room and kicked the door shut with the back of my leg.
With a soft click, I was alone with my thoughts, and the future waiting for me at the bottom of the bag, calling out to me. My hands trembled as I picked the test up, dropped it, and then made a dive to reach for it, heart pounding.
Okay, calm down, Gwen. You can do this. This isn’t the end of the world. Test first. Think about what happens later. It could still just be a bug, you know.
The pamphlet was clear, so I followed the instructions, peed on the stick, then set it next to the sink and walked out, clasping my hands together as I paced. After five minutes, the timer on my phone rang, and I walked over to it, as if it was a death sentence.
I swallowed past the lump in my throat.
Two faint lines.
BOOK FIVE: SECRET WAYS
Chapter 1
Gwen.
Life on the ranch was supposed to be easy, effortless. Granted, it wasn’t the life I’d chosen for myself, having had it thrust upon me at a young age, but it was a life I’d wholeheartedly embraced.
Honestly, I understood why a lot of life people shied away from this life of responsibility and the burdens it placed, but I wasn’t afraid of it. In fact, I welcomed it, relishing in the power that came from knowing my place in life and having a higher purpose.
The only glitch in my plan was Nick Parker.
And, his plans for the ranch.
With the news that the ranch was under attack looming over our heads, it was hard to act casual, to pretend like nothing was amiss, but we both did our best to settle into a routine of sorts, trying to bring back some semblance of normalcy.
Unfortunately, it wasn’t that simple, especially not with Brenda still lurking around, shooting me long and suspicious looks when she thought I wasn’t looking. A part of me felt bad for her, it truly did, but it wasn’t as if I’d kicked her off the ranch or asked Nick to treat her poorly.
Quite the opposite.
I had insisted that he couldn’t treat her any different, even though the dynamic between us had shifted. Now that Nick and I had acknowledged our feelings for each other, it was no longer an issue of when to stop the pretense, but how.
Where did we go from here? I wondered.
The executor wasn’t as skeptical as he was before, but he still didn’t quite believe us, so we had our work cut out for us. But reality still hung over us, a dark cloud. At the end of the day, Nick was a city boy, and I was a country girl – we were from two different worlds.
More to the point, I wasn’t under any delusions regarding what would happen once the deal went through. I didn’t think Nick was suddenly going to forget about his life in the city, drop everything, and be with me...not even if he knew I was carrying his baby, too.
Yes, I could hardly believe it mys
elf, but a visit to the doctor had proven what the initial pregnancy test confirmed. It had been days since I was hit with the news, and it had settled around me like a blanket, numbing me to the outside world.
At night, I’d lay awake with my hands atop my stomach, staring at it, a mixture of feelings running through me. Now that it was no longer a possibility or a matter of if, I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I wouldn’t get rid of this baby.
So, I now had to decide if I wanted to keep it and consider the changes that would come along with that decision – a major upheaval as far as anyone was concerned. Besides, a ranch was no place to raise a baby, not with the kind of hard labor I was required to do.
I would need help, a ton of it, and I had no idea where to start.
Keeping the truth from Nick was hard, especially with the news always on the tip of my tongue, but the timing just never seemed right. Each time I’d buck up the courage to tell him, I’d wait too long and the moment would pass.
I was beginning to think there was no such thing as the right time.
Still, it didn’t change the facts, I thought.
I gave a start of surprise when droplets of water hit me in the face, bringing me out of my state of reprieve and back to the present, reminding me that the hose was in my hand and currently pointed at Star, our prize mare.
She flicked her ears and gave me a long look, dark eyes assessing as she moved closer, pushing her snout into my hand. I smiled and rubbed behind her eyes, muttering under my breath. I shifted to where the hose was and switched it off, sighing deeply.
For the most part, I tried to keep up with my chores, pretending like everything was just fine and dandy, but the truth was that I was running out of time. Sooner or later, I would have to come clean about the baby, especially when the bump grew and I could no longer do the same amount of work.
Already, I could feel the fetus growing inside of me, demanding my attention. I clutched my abdomen and dropped to the stairs on the front porch, staring out at the view ahead.
What was I going to do?
Suddenly, I wished the Parkers were here, with their steady and solid hands and their infinite wisdom. I had no doubt they would know exactly what to do, even if it was a conflict of interest because of their grandson.
I heard a ruckus behind me, so I craned my neck, only to find Brenda in the kitchen, opening and closing cupboards impatiently. She huffed and blew her hair out of her face, an irritated expression on her features.
I tilted my head and studied her stomach, surprised at the fact that it wasn’t larger than it was. Quickly, I did the mental math and realized she was about three months along, but her stomach was relatively flat.
Then again, she ate very little and exercised up in her room, acting like she had something to prove to the rest of us. I suppose it explained why her stomach hadn’t grown in size, but something still didn’t feel right.
A bad feeling settled in the pit of my stomach. I pushed it away and turned around, intent on ignoring her altogether. Right now, I had bigger problems to worry about than Brenda’s dietary habits.
Would having this baby spell the end for Nick and me?
I didn’t know for certain, but I knew it would change our lives for good.
Chapter 2
GWEN.
I can’t believe I hadn’t seen it from the start, allowing the wool to be pulled over my eyes so thoroughly that I’d acted like an idiot. Brenda was lying. She had to be because nothing about her pregnancy made sense.
Not only did she not act pregnant – no cravings, or swelling of any sort, and no doctor appointments since she arrived – but there was something abnormal about the size of her stomach, which seemed to grow at an alarmingly slow rate.
With everyone busy worrying about the ranch and its future, no one except for Nick paid her any heed, and he didn’t know the true symptoms of pregnancy, or he would’ve made a scene.
As things were, I now made it my mission to find out my truth. I’d been so focused on doing right by Brenda and her baby that I hadn’t paused to consider the fact that Nick’s accusations might have some amount of truth to them.
Much as I hated to admit it, it seemed now more than ever as if he had a point. But without any proof, I couldn’t do anything about it except watch carefully and wait for Brenda to mess up, so I could catch her in the act.
Over the course of the next week, I kept an eye out, day in and day out, monitoring Brenda from afar when she wasn’t looking. My suspicions were growing more and more by the day.
She was definitely hiding something, but I had no idea what it was.
At the very least, she was severely malnourished, punishing her baby, so she wouldn’t have to suffer because of baby weight. Those weren’t her exact words, but there was something about the way they were delivered that stank.
More and more, I was starting to believe Nick’s assessment of her: she was nothing more than a gold digger, sniffing around Nick and looking for an opening. And what better way to do than to show up out of the blue with a baby?
The whole thing didn’t seem right to me, and with plenty of time on my hands, I was going to get to the bottom of it.
Half of me felt bad, riddled with guilt over the fact that I was letting my emotions clouding my judgment. I was scared I was failing to see that Brenda was actually in the same boat as I am: tied to a man who didn’t want kids. But at the end of the day, that was where our similarities ended.
Brenda was content to live off of other people’s money, making them go through the back-breaking work while she lounged peacefully, demanding anything that came to mind. I, on the other hand, believed in making my own life through blood, sweat, and tears.
I took a deep cleansing breath, hovering near the foot of the stairs and waiting. Like clockwork, I heard Brenda’s door crack open and the sound of her footsteps across the floorboards, light and nimble.
Quickly, I took my position behind the door, my phone clutched in my hands, the red button pulsing as it recorded. Brenda was down in no time, glancing around casually before she marched over to the kitchen.
She stood there, with her head bent over the fridge, but once she rummaged around and found what she was looking for, she reached underneath her shirt and yanked, pulling out what looked like a fake baby bump.
Stunned, my hands flew to my mouth, and I stifled back the anger, adjusting my phone to give a full glimpse of her tossing the contraption onto the counter and giving it a good shove. Next, she lifted her shirt up and patted her smooth and flat belly, as if to assure herself she didn’t have to pretend at that moment.
I shook my head in disbelief as I snuck out the back door and stood outside, allowing the cool air to whip across my face. A few minutes later, I hummed under my breath and pushed the door open, giving her a minute to scurry upstairs before she was found out.
Bingo.
I had her right where I wanted her, and I had the proof of it, too.
“GOOD MORNING, BRENDA,” I greeted, eyeing her over the rim of my coffee mug. She paused and gave me a dismissive look before she reached over the counter, her hand hovering near the empty cookie tray.
“Where are my cookies?”
“Gone,” I replied.
She frowned, eyes narrowed into slits. “But I need them.”
“Why?”
“What do you mean why?” she demanded, face turning red in anger. “Because I’m pregnant, you idiot. Haven’t you ever heard of pregnancy cravings?”
I set my cup down. “I have, but you don’t have them.”
“Excuse me?”
Seconds later, her suitcases were placed by the door by Mr. Owens, who gave me a slight nod before he disappeared outside, away from the drama. Brenda’s mouth fell open, and she crossed her arms over her chest.
“Why did that useless old man just bring my bags downstairs? Is he deaf or something?”
“No, I asked him to bring down your bags,” I explained, moving from around the
counter, so we were standing a few feet apart. “I’m going to give you a chance to get out of here with your dignity before we sue you for false claims.”
“How dare you?” she hissed. “Wait till I tell Nick what you did.”
“Tell me what?” Nick asked, rounding the corner, his hair combed and smelling like he just came out of a shower. “What’s going on?”
“Brenda is pretending to be pregnant,” I revealed.
“She’s lying,” Brenda insisted. “You don’t have any proof, and you’re just jealous.”
“I do have proof,” I corrected, holding up my phone. All the blood drained from Brenda’s face as she watched, her face a flaming red. Nick pursed his lips into a thin line and took a step to the side, allowing her to race out of the house to the cab waiting for her outside.
“Ding dong. The witch is gone,” Nick announced, cheerfully before he turned to face me, the smile falling from his face. “Speaking of lies. When were you going to tell me that you are pregnant?”
Chapter 3
NICK.
Gwen swallowed, some of the color draining from her face, making her look incredibly pale. She opened and closed her mouth several times, failing to find the right words before she ran her hands through her hair and sighed.
“I was waiting for the right time,” she replied. “And, I didn’t know if there would ever be a right time.”
“To tell me that you’re carrying my child?” I asked incredulously. “That’s big news, Gwen. I can’t believe you’d keep it from me.”
“Of course, I kept it from you,” she argued, eyes flashing. “I saw the way you reacted to Brenda’s news –you weren’t exactly leaping for joy. What was I supposed to think?”
“You and Brenda are completely different,” I pointed out. “It’s not the same thing, at all.”
Gwen cocked her head to the side. “How so?”
“Because Brenda is a scheming gold digger, and you just proved that she'd stop at nothing to get her hands on my money,” I said, frustration seeping into my tone. “And, I knew she was up to something. I just didn’t know what.”
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