by Hamel, B. B.
“You’re helping already,” I say although it comes out half strangled. He’s so close to me and he’s not moving away. I tilt my chin toward him, my lips parting almost automatically. I want him to touch my body, the need suddenly hits me like a truck. I haven’t been touched in so long, haven’t really wanted it, but suddenly it comes back to me all at once.
He tilts his head toward me… but turns away. I feel viscerally disappointed as he walks back to the steps. I wanted him to touch me so badly, it’s almost crazy how much. I would’ve thrown myself at him, kissed him, touched him, played my fingers over his skin.
“I should get back to it,” he says quickly, not looking at me. “You okay?”
“Oh, yeah, right. I’m fine.”
I follow him downstairs. We don’t speak and he stops in the kitchen.
“Congrats on the job,” he says, smiling.
I smile back. “Thanks.”
I linger for a second before turning and leaving. I head back to my little house in his back yard and slam the door shut, practically shaking.
I keep seeing that moment, his lips so close to mine, his gorgeous hands inches away. I wanted it so badly and I don’t even know why. We barely know each other, and yet I know I would’ve let him strip me bare and take me however he wanted.
God, it’s crazy. I’m tingling from that moment, and he didn’t even touch me.
I shake my head to try and clear it before I end doing nothing but fantasizing about that gorgeous single dad all day long.
4
Erik
Fixing the house goes slow. A few weeks pass since Kim got that job and I don’t see much of her. She works most days and most nights and probably spends more time in that diner than she does at home.
Not that I really mind. She’s quiet, keeps to herself. She’s a good tenant. And there was that moment, up near the back window in the upstairs hallway. She turned to me, mouth parted, looked up in my eyes, and I knew, I could see it all over her.
She wanted me just as badly as I wanted her.
It was like a kick in the chest. It hit me hard and swift, the need for her body. I haven’t felt like that since Stacey died, but seeing her looking at me, so beautiful and small and perfect, I wanted to touch her. I wanted to kiss her, grab her hair, feel her warm skin against mine.
Fuck, it’s been so long since I tasted a woman, and I know she’d be ripe. That gorgeous fucking girl living in my guest house.
I can’t let myself though, can’t go there, as much as I want to. She’s beautiful, yes, and funny and smart, but she’s hiding something. I know she is, I know she’s running from something. I don’t know what yet, but I suspect I’ll find out.
I put Annie to bed one night, still thinking about Kim. I kiss my girl on the forehead and shut the light off, heading down into the half-built kitchen. I’ve been making good progress lately but it’s still a lot and I still have a toddler to look after.
I consider getting something done but I opt for a beer instead. I crack it open and take a single sip when I hear someone bang on the back door.
I narrow my eyes at it for a long moment, but they bang again. I slowly walk over and part the blinds slightly, looking out.
Kim stares back at me, her eyes wide.
I open the door. “Kim?”
“I’m so sorry,” she says in a rush. “I didn’t mean, I know I’m not supposed to, I shouldn’t come to the house, I just, I just got off from work and I came back to my place and the window was smashed and the whole place was ripped through and I just—”
“Slow down, slow down,” I say. “Okay, come inside. Come on.”
I lead her in and steer her into the living room. I get her seated and kneel down next to her.
“Okay, what’s going on?”
She takes a deep breath. She’s shaking, practically trembling. Those beautiful eyes look at me and I’m pretty sure she’s fighting back tears.
“I just got off work at the diner,” she says. “I’ve been working a lot, you know? So I decided not to take the night shift tonight. Luanne gave me the night off, so I thought I’d just have a quiet night at home.”
“But that’s not what happened,” I say.
“I came in through the front and just saw… the place was a wreck, Erik. All my stuff thrown around like someone came smashing through the place. All my clothes were ripped out from the drawers and thrown on the floor and the window over the back door was smashed to pieces.”
I tense up as she talks. I can picture it all, a classic home invasion. But this home invasion happened in my back yard to my own fucking tenant.
“Show me,” I say, standing up.
“No.” Her eyes go wide with serious fear. “No, I can’t go back in there. What if they come back?”
“Most home invaders don’t come back,” I say. “Was anything missing? Anything stolen?”
“No, I mean, I don’t think so. I don’t know. I didn’t look closely.”
I nod a little. “It’s okay. Don’t worry. Come on, take me back and show me.”
She bites her lip and shakes her head. “No. I can’t.”
“Come on.” I reach a hand out. “I’ll be with you. If you want, I can get my gun.”
She flinches. “No guns.”
“Okay,” I say. “No guns. But come on, take me there.”
She groans but stands up. She’s trembling just a little bit. “Okay, okay. It’ll be okay, right?”
“I promise, it’ll be okay.”
She hesitates but nods and leads me back through the house. We head down the back steps and out into the night. I hesitate before closing the back door and locking it up. Annie’s asleep upstairs and there’s no reason to take a chance.
We head to her little house. The front door’s left open a crack. We push inside and sure enough, the place is a wreck. Anything that wasn’t a piece of heavy furniture was thrown around. Magazines, broken candles, a smashed vase, plants ripped up. It looks like someone came in intent on destroying everything.
I note that the TV’s still there. “Is your phone still here?”
“It’s here,” she says. “I had it with me at the diner.”
“Laptop? Any of that cash lying around?”
“No computer and I deposited all the cash. Thank god I did that.” She laughs wildly. I can hear the nerves still fraying.
“Okay, show me the door.”
We head back and sure enough, the window’s smashed. Clearly, whoever got inside broke that window and unlocked the bolt. I’d have to put bars on it, even if I hate that.
There’s broken glass inside on the floor, some of it crunched, and I can follow the tracks into the hallway where the glass splinters disappear, spread too thin.
Her bedroom looks the same, although the bathroom is strangely untouched. Her clothes are thrown all over, but nothing seems ripped or destroyed.
“You’re sure you’re not missing anything?”
“Nothing big or important,” she says. “If they took something, I don’t know what.”
I nod a little bit, chewing on that. Typical home invasion like this is for a reason. They come in, smash shit up for fun and grab whatever looks expensive. If nothing’s missing though…
That’s odd. Very odd.
“Okay. Thanks for showing me.”
“I can’t… I can’t stay here tonight.”
“Don’t worry.” I take her hand without thinking. I don’t know why I do it, but as soon as her fingers lace in with mine, I know I want to touch her so badly it almost hurt. It feels good having her palm against mine, her fingers close. She looks up into my eyes and I squeeze her hand. “You can stay with me tonight.”
“Yeah. I mean… thank you.”
“We should call the police though.”
“No.” She pulls her hand from mine. “No, no cops. Please, no cops.”
I cock my head. “Why not? Someone broke in here. We should call the police. At the very least, they should be a
ware of it.”
“Please,” she begs. “No police. I don’t want to get involved.”
I hesitate. “You know how odd it looks, right?”
“I know. I promise I’m not, like, some kind of fugitive.”
“You just had bad experiences with police on the road.”
She nods a little. “Yeah, exactly.”
“Look, I can’t say I know the police here, but—”
“Please,” she says again. “No cops. They didn’t take anything. I bet… I bet it was just some kids playing a prank.”
I frown at her a little bit. I don’t point out that kids playing a prank don’t typically break into someone’s home and rip through their things.
“All right,” I say finally. “If that’s what you want, we won’t call. Tonight, at least. Tomorrow, I want you to think about it and maybe change your mind. The police should know about this, Kim, even if they’re not going to track them down. They should know in case it happens to someone else.”
“Okay,” she says, sounding relieved. “Okay, I’ll think about it. Maybe tomorrow.”
I sigh and shake my head. I don’t like not calling the police in. Everything inside of me, all my old cop instincts and training, is telling me to call them. Something’s a little off with this, something’s not quite right.
But the look in her eyes when I said we should call… it was fear, pure and simple.
Shit, maybe I’m an idiot, but I can’t help it.
“Come on,” I say softly, putting an arm around her. I feel a thrill when she pushes close against me. “Let’s go to my place.”
We walk out the front door. I drop my arm and lead her up the porch. I unlock the door and we step inside. I lock it behind us without thinking before turning to her.
“You can have the couch,” I say. “Sleep in the living room tonight. It’s not terrible.”
“Okay, thank you so much. I’m… really sorry about this.”
“Yeah, I know. Not your fault.” We walk into the living room and she sits down on the couch. She looks exhausted. She kicks off her shoes and crosses her legs underneath her. “Stay here. I’ll get you some stuff.”
I head upstairs, get an extra couple pillows and a blanket, and head back down. She looks up at me and smiles as I put them down at the other end of the couch.
“Thank you, Erik,” she says. “I know you don’t want girls in the house because of Annie. I just… I really appreciate it. I don’t know where else to go.”
I sit next to her and put my hand on her leg. I’m not thinking about it, I just want to comfort her. She stiffens a little but doesn’t pull away. She stares into my eyes and again, I see that look, that pure desire in her. I can feel it between us, pulsing hard and intense.
“It’s all right,” I say. “I’m not about to leave a damsel in distress alone in that house.”
“I’m a damsel in distress?” She smiles a little bit. “Never thought of myself that way.”
“Yeah, well, maybe not normally. But tonight.”
“Right. Just tonight.”
We’re sitting close, my hand still on her leg. She looks into my eyes and tilts her head slightly. I reach up with my other hand and run my fingers through her hair, not thinking anymore, just letting myself go. She bites her lip.
“I don’t mind,” she whispers.
“I bet you don’t.”
I lean in and kiss her.
She kisses me back, just as hungry as me. She tastes incredible and I feel my heart racing. I haven’t kissed a woman in so long, and this feels right, so fucking right. Her lips are soft, her tongue is soft, her taste is like honey and heaven. Her hair is thick and full in my hand and fucking hell, I want to pull it, make her gasp, make her moan.
But I pull away. I remember Annie, asleep upstairs. I remember Stacey, gone only a year and a half. I quickly stand, my cock fucking hard rock, begging me to take that gorgeous girl sitting on my couch.
“I should go to bed,” I say, voice thick.
“Yeah. Right.” She sounds just as breathless. “Bed sounds… good.”
I glance back. I swear, she meant something else by that, but she’s blushing.
“Night, Kim.”
“Night.”
I head upstairs. I have to force myself to climb every step. I have to remind myself over and over again that my little girl is asleep and I can’t risk her walking in on something that’ll only make her way more confused.
And more than that, I have to remind myself of my wife.
She’s gone now, I know it. I should be moving on. But I haven’t been able to. Feeling anything for another woman is new, and guilt starts to crash down as soon as I’m alone in my room. Fucking hell, I don’t know how to feel, what to do.
I go into the bathroom and take a fucking shower.
Stacey would want me to move on. I’m sure of that. She said as much toward the end, although I told her not to talk that way, she still said it. Always practical, always honest, my Stacey.
She’s gone now and I should be ready, but I’m not sure I am. I’m afraid I never will be.
But my body is ready. God damn, my body wants that girl downstairs, that beautiful girl. My body wants her so goddamn much I’m tempted to just go down right now and take her.
The shower cools me off and I force myself to go to bed. I’m up half the night, thinking about the girl downstairs.
5
Kim
I wake up in the morning, a little groggy and confused. I blink at the light coming in through the large window and shift around. I didn’t think I’d actually fall asleep, not after kissing Erik like that… and yet as soon as my head hit the pillow, I was out.
I blink and spot Annie sitting on the chair near me. I smile a little at her and she smiles back. She has some blocks in front of her, although she’s not building with them.
“Hi,” I manage to croak.
She jumps up from the chair and goes running off. “Daddy! Come!”
I smile and roll onto my back, stretching. Slowly, the reason for me sleeping on this couch comes back, and I remember the state of my house.
God, my house. Everything ripped to pieces, thrown around. I’ve been putting a lot of thought into the way it all looks, putting up plants and little herb pots near windows, hanging pictures, painstakingly picking things from the second-hand shop that I can just barely afford. I had that place looking good, feeling like home…
And now it’s tainted.
I can practically feel them still in there.
“So, you’re awake.” Erik looks at me from the doorway and smiles a little. Annie clings to his legs and watches me carefully.
“Hey, sorry. I didn’t mean to sleep in so late.”
“It’s just after seven.” He nods down at the little girl at his legs. “She doesn’t like sleeping past six.”
“Oh.” I smile a little. “Early riser, huh?”
She shrinks back behind his legs again.
“Shy now,” he says, shaking his head. “I wonder why.”
“It’s okay.” I smile at Annie. “You can say hi whenever you want to.”
“Hi,” she says.
Her dad laughs. “Hungry?” he asks.
“Yeah, I think so. But you don’t have to feed me. I can just—”
“Nonsense. You’re my first guest in… awhile. Might as well feed you. Come on, eggs and bacon. I can do toast, waffles, pancakes. Whatever you want, really.”
“Wow.” I sit up and laugh. “That’s amazing. Thank you.”
“Come on, don’t thank me yet. You haven’t tasted it.”
I follow them into the kitchen. Annie watches me the whole time. The room isn’t as bad as the first time I saw it. Everything’s been removed and cleaned up and the new counters are mostly built in. There’s a new oven already in place with a nice gas stovetop, which he’s currently using, and there’s an island framed but not built yet.
“Needs a lot more work,” he says. “But I g
ot this hooked up, so we’re getting there.” He flips some bacon then plates it and hands it to me. Eggs and bacon and it smells amazing. “Coffee in the pot.”
I help myself then sit at the table. He pours some juice and makes another, smaller plate. He gets Annie into her booster seat, straps her in, and puts the food in front of her.
She makes a face.
“Don’t do that,” Erik says. “Just eat it.”
She doesn’t eat it.
I laugh and take a bite. The eggs are amazing and the bacon is perfect. “You’re a good cook,” I say.
“Used to cook for the guys at the station sometimes. We had a hotplate and that’s about it. So I had to learn to improvise.”
I smile at Annie. “Your dad’s amazing.”
She beams at me and takes a reluctant bite of bacon. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone so hesitant about bacon before.”
“She loves it, she’s just being shy. Which isn’t like her at all.”
She makes a face and giggles. I make a face right back.
“You’re not shy, are you, Annie?”
“Yes,” she says.
Erik and I laugh. He smiles at me. “Want anything else?”
“No, I’m okay.” I finish my plate, surprised at how hungry I was, and sit back to sip my coffee. “This is really nice. Thank you. And thanks for last night.”
He glances at Annie. “You think more about…” He trails off.
I blush. I’ve been thinking a lot about that kiss, about his lips on mine, his confidence, his taste…
But, oh, shit. That’s not what he means.
“Police?” I ask.
“Yeah.”
“I don’t know yet.” I look away. “Let me see if anything got stolen, okay?”
“Sure.”
We lapse into silence. I can tell he’s not happy about that, but I can’t do much more right now.
I don’t want police involved. God, the thought of that fills me with dread.
The only reason I’d call the police were if I didn’t know who broke in and did all that.
But I do know. I know exactly who broke in.
If something had been stolen, I might think it was just another burglary. Maybe a prank, like I said to him last night. But nothing’s stolen, I know it already. Just a mess, just a warning.