Waiting just gave her time to think. Too much time. She paced around the cramped quarters, images of her father watching the birds through his window scrolling across her mind. She couldn’t imagine what prison mental facilities would look like, but she truly doubted there would be birdfeeders outside picture windows. And there in the ship’s stark cabin she made a decision. Now she was glad she and John hadn’t said anything, hadn’t made any commitments to each other that could have made the situation more difficult, because after she did what she now realized must be done, he might not be able to forgive her. She hoped she’d have a chance to tell him before talking to Denton, but with that unlikely, she would face whatever ramifications ensued on her own.
The next hours proved exhausting. Heaven’s Bounty was towed into port by a Coast Guard vessel, and to her surprise, news teams had gathered, camera flashes going off the minute the crew began disembarking. Floodlights illuminated the scene, and Rane followed slowly behind the gurneys laden with heavy black bags. The Coast Guard seaman assigned to her escorted her off the ship and thankfully away from the crowd of reporters.
A police car sat idling at the end of the dock, and soon she was riding through the quiet streets to the hospital. Her injuries didn’t require stitches, but Commander Rocklin wanted her to be checked out, so to St. Augustine’s she went. She snagged Lily as her nurse, and while her friend tended to her injuries, she filled her in on the events of the day. Finally, she was able to don the Coast Guard T-shirt and sweatshirt she’d been given to replace her blood-soaked clothing. The tight hug good-bye she gave Lily had her friend raising her brows.
“You okay, Rane?”
“Yeah.” She wasn’t, but she hurried away and returned to the cruiser for a ride to the police station.
Rane thought she’d never in her life been more tired than after she’d gone over the events of the day at least four more times. An officer questioned; she answered. Back and forth. And then she explained in detail how she’d planted the heroin in Kyle’s car that had sent him to prison. That had created a stir, and a few minutes later, a detective came in to question her. There had simply been no other option. Even if it meant not being honest with John, she couldn’t allow even the remote possibility that her father might be put on trial.
Denton joined the detective and asked his own questions, and she thought she answered them plausibly. What seemed like hours later, she stood in the hallway outside the interrogation rooms, trying to pay attention to Denton explaining what she could expect over the next couple of days. “You’re dead on your feet, so you need to go on home. Can you be back here by ten hundred tomorrow? I should be able to let you know the DA’s decision then.”
At her nod, he put a hand on her elbow. “I’ll walk you out front; your ride is there.”
She thought they’d called a cab or assigned an officer to drive her home, but when she got to the front steps, she saw John sitting in his black truck. He got out and opened the passenger door, his movements abrupt.
“She’s beat.” Rane thought Denton sounded tired, too. It had been a long day for all of them. “Glad you got your girl back, Johnny.”
“Yeah.”
Rane frowned at the terse response. Denton left them, and she climbed into the truck. John pulled into traffic, driving silently through the streets, the wipers swiping intermittently at the misty drizzle. When he didn’t say a word, worry began to gnaw at her stomach with hungry teeth. He pulled into her driveway and turned off the engine, sitting motionless for a long moment in the sudden quiet. Rane could hear Cooper barking from the backyard.
“Rane, you—”
“I need to go check on Cooper. He’ll be hungry.”
She didn’t know why she felt so self-conscious with him. He hadn’t given her any reason to question his feelings for her. Well, other than that he had never told her his feelings. In the heat of the moment, he’d been worried, frantic even, but that could be, well, the heat of the moment. And now he seemed so remote, angry almost. She opened the truck door to the light precipitation and crossed to the kitchen door, stopping when she realized she didn’t have her keys. In fact, she didn’t have a lot of things. Her purse, cell, and the clothes she’d packed had all been left at the safe house. Was that only this morning?
John approached and reached around her to unlock the door. Once inside, Cooper pushed through the dog door to greet them. John stopped her with a hand on her arm. His tone neutral, he said, “Rane, go on up. Take a shower, put on something loose over those bandages. I’ll feed the dog.”
She nodded and went upstairs. When she came down thirty minutes later, she felt infinitely better. The acetaminophen they’d given her at the hospital had reduced the pain from her injuries to a dull ache. She’d washed her hair in the shower and applied new bandages to neck and side, pulled on flannel pants, a thermal, and warm socks. She felt human again. She stepped into the kitchen to find John at the counter, buttering toast. Two plates piled with scrambled eggs and slices of Canadian bacon sat on the table. A mug of tea steamed next to her usual chair. She blinked back sudden tears. She was really a mess if John making her dinner choked her up. Cooper launched himself at her, and she dropped to her knees to meet his enthusiastic greeting, stifling a groan when he rubbed his head against her bandaged side.
The butter knife hit the counter with a metallic clatter as John spun around. “That’s it. That’s just it.” He hauled Cooper back by his collar, pointed a long finger, and said, “Stay,” before whirling on her.
“What the hell are you thinking, letting him bump into you like that?”
Rane looked at him in puzzlement when he reached down. “What are you talking about? Cooper doesn’t understand that I’m hurt. And it’s not that bad, anyway.”
He pulled her to her feet, touch gentle despite the angry tone. “That’s my point exactly. You need to take better care of yourself. Not put yourself in a position where you could get hurt. You shouldn’t crouch down where he can knock into you.”
“John, I’m fine.”
“The hell you are! You are not fine. I saw what that bastard did to you. He cut you. You bled.”
“Yeah, I bled, but I’m fine now. There will hardly be a scar, the cuts are so shallow.” She narrowed her eyes at him. “John, do you think it’s my fault Simon got to me? Do you think I put myself in a position where I was hurt?”
He stabbed his fingers through his hair, looking like he could easily pull out a fistful. “No. I know you didn’t. But it about killed me when he had that knife to your throat.”
He turned back to the counter, and Rane stepped toward him. “John, I—”
“Sit down. Your dinner is getting cold.” He said the words with the careful control of someone on the edge.
Deciding she simply didn’t want to deal with his mood or her own confused feelings, she did what he asked and sat at the table. She needed to divulge to him what she’d told Denton, but if getting bumped by Cooper set him off, she could wait to see what telling him about her confession would do. That, and she had a sinking realization he would know she was lying, that her father had been the one to plant the heroin. Exhaustion pulled at her, and by the time she had finished the meal and was sipping her tea, she could hardly keep her eyes open.
His voice quiet, John said, “Go on up to bed, and I’ll clean up here.”
“You’ve got to be worn out, too. We can leave this for the morning.”
“I said I’ll deal with it.”
Lacking the energy to argue, she trudged up the stairs, took a moment to brush her teeth, and climbed into bed. She fell asleep wondering if John would join her.
***
Rane yawned and stretched, wincing as bandages pulled, reminding her of the events of the day before. She became aware her cheek lay pressed against a warm shoulder and a heavy arm encircled her back. She glanced up to find laser blue eyes watching her in the bright morning light. “John.”
She lifted her head, and he brushed the
hair from her forehead. “I’m sorry.”
“Mmm, that’s nice. But for what?”
“For acting like an idiot last night. I’ve always felt like I can handle anything that comes my way, but I couldn’t handle you.”
She frowned. “I really don’t think you need to handle me. I can handle myself.”
He growled, frustration in the tone. “That’s not what I meant. I couldn’t handle you in danger. You with a knife to your neck, bleeding. I needed to keep control, and I was having trouble with that. In the end, I had to compartmentalize it. Lock my fear for you away in a corner of my head, so I could figure out how to get you free. In the end, it was Kyle who saved your life.”
She propped herself up on her elbows. “Is that why you were angry? Because Kyle saved me?”
“No, of course not. Thank God he did. I just keep seeing you in the clutches of a crazy man. He could have killed you.”
“He didn’t.” She hesitated. “Maybe last night you were finally able to think about the part you compartmentalized, and that’s why you were upset. But, honestly, you may have felt you weren’t in control when Simon had me, but you were. You did what you had to do. You kept your head.”
He let his eyes drift closed for a long moment before opening them again to look at her. “Rane, all I could think about was that he could kill you in a split second, and I wouldn’t be able to stop him.”
“He could have, but do you want to know what I remember most clearly? I remember looking at you; your eyes were so cool, so focused. And I wasn’t afraid anymore. It’s weird. I was still in danger, this maniac was holding a knife to my throat, but you were there, so I wasn’t scared.”
“Then I was afraid enough for both of us.”
“You didn’t act afraid. You started moving across the deck, and I wondered what you were doing. Then I realized Simon had to turn to keep you in sight, and you were trying to keep him from seeing something. I realized Nathan or Kyle must have been there. Doing that was critical for me to come out of the whole thing alive. And even when I was locked in that dark room on the boat, I kept telling myself you and Nathan were too smart to get caught in that explosion, that you would find me.” She paused. “What happened with that anyway? Simon’s guy, Pete, was told to wait until he was sure you were both in the building before pressing the detonator. It gave me a very bad moment when the warehouse blew up.”
He shrugged. “We knew Simon’s penchant for explosives, so no way were we going in there. Nathan scanned for the best vantage point to watch the warehouse entrance and spotted the guy. I was able to get behind him, but he must have heard me because he jumped and dropped the damned detonator. Caused the whole place to blow. Shockwave knocked me on my ass. He’s been arrested, by the way.”
She nodded, pensive, then finally decided she couldn’t put off telling him any longer. She sat up and pulled the blanket around her shoulders, resting her forehead on her hands for a moment as she tried to gather strength. It wasn’t working.
“Rane?”
She raised her head. “I have to tell you something.”
“What?”
“I told Denton last night. The DA is going to have to decide what to do, but I might end up in prison.”
“Not likely.”
“You don’t know what I’ve done.” When John just sat, waiting patiently, she took a deep breath, and the words came out in a rush. “I planted the heroin in Kyle’s car that sent him to prison. I signed a confession last night. Wow. There, I told you.”
She watched him warily as he pushed himself up against the headboard. He leaned his head back and pinched the bridge of his nose.
“Sweetheart, why the hell did you do that? The DA would never have charged your father. You should have trusted me to deal with this.”
“I know you thought Dad had something to do with it, but he didn’t.”
He looked at her with resignation. “Your dad got heroin from another precinct’s evidence room and planted it in Kyle’s car. The only thing you’re guilty of is doing nothing when you found out about it. Denton already knew all that, but now you’ve gone and made a confession, so he’s going to have to go to the DA.”
Rane felt dazed. They knew? “How? How could you know?”
He sighed. “You know I planted that bug, and Denton and I were both listening to your conversation with Kyle. You said something that made me wonder, so I did some digging. You’ve been trying to protect your dad all along, haven’t you?”
She nodded, not sure why tears were stinging her eyes.
John leaned forward, reaching out to tip up her chin. “It will be okay. You’ll have to explain why you lied, but after what you went through yesterday, and because Kyle is dead and it can’t make any difference to him, I think the DA will be inclined to let that issue be. Me, Nathan, Denton, we’ll all vouch for you. And the DA’s going to be more interested in going after Ty and the rest of the DiNardo organization now that the head of the snake has been cut off.”
Rane drew in a shaky breath then reached for a pillow to bury her face in. She tried to suppress the emotion, her shoulders shaking. John reached over, tugged the pillow away, and pulled her into his arms, holding her securely as she struggled to control the tears. “Sweetheart, this will all work out, so tell me why you’re upset.”
With her face buried against his chest, she tried to sort an answer out in her own mind. Her voice sounded muffled when she spoke. “You don’t know how worried I’ve been. Ever since I realized what Dad had done, I’ve been scared to death he would be found out. I was frightened at what Kyle would do when he got out of prison, and then Simon started coming around and that terrified me even more. And now, finally, it looks like it’s done.” She lifted her head so she could see his face. “It’s been just my dad and me for so long, it’s hard for me to accept there are others who care enough to help us out.”
His gaze sharpened, focusing intently on hers. “More than care, Rane. I love you. I’ll always have your back.”
She sat up, heart swelling, and swallowed audibly as his words sank in. “Do you mean it? You have to be sure, John. You have to be really, really sure.”
“I do mean it, and I am really, really sure. There’s no going back for me.”
When she just stared at him, he traced a finger down her cheek, wiping away the tears. She knew he was waiting for her to say the words. She wanted to, but fear seized her with dark-tipped claws.
“What is it, sweetheart?”
She hesitated, but he had a right to know what held her back. “It’s just that love is a tricky thing. My parents were once in love. My mother loved me. What happens to that feeling? Do people just wake up one day and realize it isn’t real anymore? Will that happen to us?”
“I don’t know what happened with your parents, and your mother abandoning you is unfathomable. I can’t comprehend it. But that’s not us, Rane. I love you, and that’s not going to change.”
Rane saw the truth in his eyes. Life was a risk, and she’d been hurt before. But if she let fear turn her away from what could be with John, then she was turning away from all the possibilities of a future together.
She breathed in, then out. And when she thought she could keep her voice steady over the emotion welling up inside her, she said the words. “I love you, John.”
He pulled her to him, crushing her in a convulsive grip, his arms wrapped tight around her shoulders. This time, it was his voice that came out unsteady. “Thank God, Rane. I don’t think I could have held out much longer without hearing you say it.”
They lay in each other’s arms, and Rane listened to the steady beat of his heart. He moved a hand under her sleep shirt, tracing up and down her spine. Finally feeling secure, she thought over the events of the past few days, marveling that she had ended up at the place she most wanted to be. She was sorry for Kyle and for Juan and wished both of them had survived, but she was alive, and she intended to live her life to the fullest.
She clo
sed her eyes and held John more tightly. She murmured in pleasure when he began moving with more purpose, stroking under the elastic of her flannel pants and across her hip with firm pressure. Lifting her head, she brushed a kiss across his lips.
Blue eyes burning with quiet intensity, he dipped his head to press his mouth under her ear and along her neck. His movements controlled and careful to avoid the bandages, he made love to her with such focused concentration it made her heart tremble. Later, they lay together, sated from their lovemaking, and it occurred to her that while she had uncertainties and, in some ways, was afraid of her need for him, he needed her just as much.
***
John pulled up in front of the police department a few minutes before ten to drop off Rane. He’d been on the phone to Denton earlier and been told not to come into the station. It was obvious they wanted to talk to her without his interference.
“I’ll be fine. Really.”
“I don’t like it.” He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel and looked ready to defy the order, but in the end, he had to let her go. “Denton had better watch out for you,” was all he said when she slid out of the truck.
Clearly not happy, he’d said good-bye, telling her he had some things he needed to do, including getting her belongings from the safe house. Rane passed through the double doors of the police station, and the mood boost left over from her morning with John evaporated. She met with Denton and several other officers, a team she figured had been assigned to tie up loose ends left by the case. Her accounts of the kidnapping and the shooting of both Kyle and Simon were questioned, examined, and documented. They wouldn’t give her much information, but she did learn that Ty had been on the take. His job had been to funnel information to the DiNardos and, in return, money was deposited in an off-shore account. The knock on his head when she’d been kidnapped had been done to deflect suspicion. Denton was clearly unhappy one of his team had turned traitor.
Shot Through the Heart Page 18