by Tammi Lynn
I get in my vehicle and head to work, driving faster than I normally do on the snow banked streets. Mourning the coffee I never got to grab I’m parking my SUV and running to the elevator with three minutes to go. Since no one else is here to need the elevator it’s a quick ride to the fourth floor, and I’m at my desk a minute after seven. With as much time as he gave me to get here the boss man better not care. My satchel was in my car and after throwing my phone and wallet inside brought it up with me, and I toss it onto my desk and take off my coat.
“Sydney, get in here.” Bose yells from his office and I pull my skirt down once again before going in there. Fuck, he sounds mad. What did I do this time? I hear another text alert on my phone as I leave my office and groan, I forgot to turn the volume down. What the fuck is going on anyway?
I walk into Bose’ office and he’s standing behind his desk holding a paper, with how thick it is it has to be Sundays. Did I mess up one of the articles I looked over or an ad placement? Fuck Bose is hot, it’s hard to keep my mind in order when he’s around as it is but once again he has his shirt jacket off and thrown over the back of his chair. The sleeves of his white button up are pushed up to his elbows and those arms I already drool over while covered are showing off tattoos on each flexed forearm. Now that is something to drool over, a little edge to the always slick and polished boss I’ve come to know. It’s unfair actually, why did he also have to have tattoos? That was cruel.
“What can I do for you, Sir?” He looks up at me, eyes flashing and I envision him bending me over his desk and taking me from behind. Down girl, no time for daydreams.
“What the fuck is this?” Wait, what? He throws the paper down onto his desk and I step forward to see what has him so upset. My stupid skirt rides up a little again but I’m not about to pull it down in front of him. Just one more thing to get into trouble for and I don’t want to draw his attention to it.
Craning my neck a little I can’t read what the paper says so I pick it up and hold it to read. It’s open to the wanted ads and… Oh. My. God.
My ad, my joke of an ad and it’s right smack in the center of the page. Harem Wanted. It goes on to list everything I put down that I’m looking for in a harem and men. Well now I understand all the texts I’ve been getting. If at least one of them had called me I could have figured out what was going on yesterday.
“I didn’t do this Sir. I mean I wrote it, but it was just a joke. I never meant for it to be published. Someone must have taken it off my desk.” I’m pretty sure I know exactly who did it. Jade. I have to admit I’m embarrassed but at the same time it is so ridiculous I almost let out an inappropriate laugh.
He slams a hand down on his desk making me jump. “Why? Why is it necessary to have so many men in your life?” Well that’s personal. And so not something I would have expected him to ask. I watch him cautiously and relax a bit. He isn’t judging me, there is no judgement there. Instead I see frustration and … is that jealousy? Oh sweet christ.
“Like I said, it was a joke, I really didn’t mean for it to...” His glare deepens and runs along my body. The paper drops from my hands to the floor and without even thinking about it I bend over to pick it back up, my skirt rising higher and higher.
Hands are placed on my hips and I shoot straight up. Bose Grady, my fucking boss, is standing impossiby close behind me. He had to have come from around the desk impossibly fast. His hot breath stirring my hair brings goosebumps to my arms and the hardness beneath his slacks bumping against my ass makes me shiver. Holy fucking shit, am I dreaming again?
He leans forward and whispers in my ear, tickling me. “I think it would be hard for any one man to share you.” His hands drop from my hips to pull my skirt down as he walks back around his desk, leaving me once again hot and bothered. “Go to work Sydney, I sent you an email with what I want you to get done today. We’ll discuss this more at another time.” Trying to get out of my shocked stupor I turn to leave but he stops me and I turn to look at his gorgeous face. “And, Sydney?”
“Yes, Boss?”
“Do something about that skirt, no one will get any work done around here otherwise.”
“I will, Sir.” Did he mean him? Or the other guys in the office? I’d like to think he paid me a compliment and was referring to himself.
When I get back to my desk I hurry and grab my notebook from my satchel. Tearing through the pages I can’t find that loose piece of paper I had written on. It had to have been Jade. She was sitting on my desk and all over my stuff that Friday morning when I came in. I haven’t even thought about it to bother looking for it since then. I’m going to kill her.
Sitting down in my chair I check Bose’ email to see what he wants me to do for the day along with some others I received over the weekend and wait for Jade to arrive at work. No wonder she had her phone turned off last night, she knew if I had found out I’d chew her a new one.
I was going to give her till eight on the dot before I went looking for her but at seven forty-five an extra large bar of chocolate is placed on my desk. A Mr. Goodbar, my favorite. Looking up I see Billy, a junior copy editor and floor nerd is the one who has delivered it.
“She says don’t be mad, and I say don’t shoot the messenger.” He backs up a step and I realize my bitch face is showing.
“Where is she, Billy?”
“She says you’re going to forgive her anyway so you might as well do it now.” I stand up from my chair and he steps two more back.
“Where is she Billy?” I try to say it nicely so I don’t scare the poor kid but it comes out through gritted teeth.
“At her desk.” He runs off after that bumping into the corner of a cubicle as he tries to get away.
I’m around my desk and headed for Jade’s cubicle in the next second. Her space is across the floor from mine but it doesn’t take me long to get there. I come around the corner of her cubicle and she’s already waiting for me. Sitting on her desk, she has her chair in front of her like a shield.
“Jade!”
“Look before you say anything-”
“How could you?!” I demand my voice raising.
“Because you never would!” She points out looking solidified in her choice. “Because you always say you want to find someone, get pissed every time the Bitch says anything to you about being single, but yet you keep yourself too busy to ever even meet anyone. Because, ya twatwaffle you never put yourself out there.” Twatwaffle? Jade almost never calls me by my actual name but that’s a new one. “I waited two weeks before I submitted that ad to see if you’d at least try to go on a few dates after you were so pissed off. But nothing, you did nothing, so I did.”
“And you thought this was the best way for me to do that? Jade, I’ve gotten over fifty messages now from all kinds of random strangers.” I finally did turn down the volume on my phone, then I shut it in one of my desk drawers.
“Well, when I found the ad sticking out of your notebook I thought it was perfect. A harem, Syd? You’re fucking genious!” She looks super excited about all of this and yeah, sure, it would be nice if it all works out. Might not get myself a full harem but there has to be one good guy in all of those add responders. Oh fuck, I’m actually considering it.
“Okay.” I throw up my hands.
“Okay you’ll go on a few dates, or okay, you forgive me and won’t kill me?”
“Both, I guess. Killing you would be too messy and what do I have to lose? You could have given me a little more time before Christmas though, it’s in a week and a half, Jade.” My shoulders lower in defeat and her eyes widen in victory. She jumps off her desk and circles her chair, gathering me in a tight hug.
“I knew you’d see it my way, and you can fit a ton of dates in that amount of time!” I wouldn’t go that far. She steps back and looks me over. “Bitch, what the fuck kind of skirt is that? Was I wrong and you already have a date with a stripper pole later instead?”
“Fuck off, Jade. It shrunk in the wash and I got ca
lled into work early by the big man himself to explain about your ad. You better tell me you have an extra skirt or pants somewhere in all this mess.” Jade’s whole cubicle is a mess and I can’t understand how she finds anything in the already cramped space. There’s not only papers and actual work everywhere but clothes and bags. Everything you could ever think of needing existed in the small space.
“Girl you know I got you. Wait, are you telling me that your dream man Bose saw you in this skirt?” She starts going through a file cabinet and pulls out another skirt. “Dish, I wanna know how that went.”
“You could say it got a little hot in there.” I grab the skirt from her hands as her eyes widen once more. “But I guess you won’t ever get to know for sure.” I spin on my heel and start walking away towards the bathrooms. Not telling her will drive her crazy. That’s her punishment for the ad. I look down at the skirt she handed me. Really? I know it will match my white tank and black shirt but was a zebra printed skirt really the only thing she had?
On my lunch break I decided to contact a couple of the guys back after texting back and forth with Knox about what Jade had done. His replies almost sounded pissed off, saying I shouldn’t go out with strangers. Well, he’s my best friend not my daddy so I set a date with Stanley on Wednesday and I have my first date tonight with a guy named Brian. They both seemed a bit eager over the phone but I have to start somewhere, right? It’s now five on the dot and I have just enough time to get home and change out of this ridiculous skirt to meet my date at a restaurant downtown by six. I gather all of my stuff quietly and sneak out of the office in the opposite direction of Bose’. I don’t want him to catch me to continue that ‘talk’ he said we’d continue. Talk about awkward. And hot. Definitely both.
I made sure to send Lance a text earlier to cancel our session. This date better be worth it.
Chapter Seven
Date 1: Brian
When I walk into the restaurant my date Brian is already standing next to his seat and waving me over before the hostess can even greet me. I walk over and he shakes my hand. He’s not that bad looking, maybe five eleven with short brown hair and brown eyes, his face is smooth and easy to look at.
“You must be Sydney, you’re exactly how you described only prettier, I’m Brian.” He pulls out my chair and scoots me in, once I’ve sat down. He’s sweet and a gentleman so far, and those are on my list.
“Thank you.” So what exactly do I even say here? So what key features do you have that will bring something to my intended harem? I don’t think so. He sits in his chair across from me and smiles. “So what do you like to do for fun?”
“Well I work long hours as an accountant and then when I get home…” His face falls a little. “Well since my last girlfriend left me I guess I don’t do much anymore.” Brian’s bottom lip quivers a little and I internally groan. This guy might be a bit too sweet. I don’t know if I can handle tears this early on. Hell, I can barely handle my own tears and rarely shed them.
“So accounting, fun, anything else?”
“That’s kind of it. What about you?”
“Let’s see, I love being outdoors.” Brian keeps his attention on me but his eyes start to water. I shit you not if this dude cries, I’m out of here. “I also like to spend a lot of time at the gym, or hang out at home with my cat.” That does it the guy starts blubbering. What do I do with this guy? I hand him my cloth napkin and he takes it to wipe at his face. Honestly, I feel like I should get paid for this therapy session.
“We had a cat together.”
“I’m sorry?”
“My ex and I. We had gotten a cat together from the pound. She took him with her.”
Holy fuck, my luck. Of all the first dates to have to start this off. “Look Brian, maybe it’s just too soon for you right now. When did you guys break up?” Guy was obviously trying to catch a rebound but couldn’t hack it.
“A little over a year ago.” Okay, maybe not. He sniffles and blows his nose loudly with the napkin. Yuck.
“Some people just need a little more time to heal.” I stand up from my chair and he watches me eyes now red. “You should probably give yourself a little more time. It was really nice meeting you.” I back out of there so fast I don’t give him time to reply.
I missed working out with Lance for this? Honestly, I was trying to stay positive but this was totally bumming me out. I really was hoping at least one of these would go well.
∞∞∞
Date 2: Sam
“Are you sure you don’t want me to meet you somewhere?” Tuesday night, and Jade convinced me to go on another date and not be discouraged by the first. This guy Sam, has insisted he picks me up from work.
“No that’s okay, I’m already almost there. I’ll see you in a minute.” I start to hear some commotion in the background when the line goes dead. Okaaay. You know, I didn’t consider it but what if he was like a serial killer. Like why did he want to pick me up? I groaned, this was so messed up.
Not wanting to freeze my ass off I’m standing just inside the first floor glass doors of the Herald. I hope he gets here soon before Bose walks down or drives out of the parking garage, last thing I’d want him to see is me getting in some guy’s vehicle. I know, he’s my boss, but this girl dreams. I’m just about to check the time on my phone when I see a blue minivan pull up in front of the building. If a potbellied older man gets out of that van, I’m walking my ass right out to my car and leaving.
I wait a whole minute, and him honking his horn to finally just go out there. This is entrapment, and a good beginning to the start of a horror film. Having brought a purse today instead of my satchel I pat it to my side. Kickboxing lessons with Lance over the summer, a blow horn and my butterfly knife have me at least sixty percent confident I could fend off an attacker.
I get closer to the van and the passenger side window rolls down, and a face appears. A handsome face. Definitely not a Billy Bob with a beer gut. “Door is unlocked, you can get in.”
Opening the door I get in and buckle up, placing my purse safely in my lap. “Hi, I’m Sydney.”
“Sam.” He reaches over the center console and shakes my hand. He really is cute, shaggy brown hair and blue eyes, but on a closer look he also looks really young. He still has a babyface with adorable dimples.
“I’m, Ryan.” Startled by the third voice in the vehicle I turn around to find a little boy that looks about ten in the seat behind me. He grins widely at me and I give him a half smile back. It is totally weird but he’s also adorable so it's hard for me to be super pissed. I mean it's totally weird but I can’t be mad at the kid.
Sam leaves the parking lot and we drive to our mystery date, with a child in the backseat. “Um, Sam. Any reason why there’s a kid back there?”
“I’m so sorry about that, he’s my kid brother and my mom needed a sitter last minute. I hope your not mad, but I didn’t want to cancel on you.” Would have been a perfect reason to cancel if you ask me.
“It’s fine, I guess.” Guess I’m going to have to find a way out of this date. No wonder he wanted to pick me up, that way I have no way to escape. Gah, he looks way younger now that I am taking the time to look him over. “So how old are you, Sam?”
“Twenty-one.” He’s lying, I can tell. Even if he is the age he says I’m still eight years older. Not that age means anything, I know a lot of amazing couples with age gaps. So why do I feel like I’m here to babysit them both? Maybe I could make a business out of this, paid for therapy… babysitting… I’m just saying.
I shit you not he brings me to a Peter Piper Pizza. I love pizza as much as everyone else, yes I even like pineapple on it at times- fight me, but as far as first dates go? At least they serve beer here, I can already feel a headache coming on.
We all get out of the van and a small hand grabs mine. Looking down I find Ryan staring up at me. “Do you like my brother? He likes you, I can tell already.”
“He seems really nice so far.” Can’t let
the kid know that if he hadn’t grabbed my hand I might have took off running.
Sam comes around the vehicle, locking it and starts walking with us into the restaurant. “You’re going to fuck him aren’t you?” Whoa! What. The. Actual. Fuck. Now, I may not be a parent but I really didn’t think kids spoke like that, especially this young.
“Ryan!” Sam chides his little brother before looking at me with a blush creeping up his neck.
“We just met, and don’t you think you’re too young to talk like that?” Like way too young.
“You guys will probably be making out all night.” This kid.
The warm air inside is a nice contrast to the chilly air outside, and the mazzarella and sauce fragrancing the air reminds me I’m starving. At least I get a meal out of this.
“Is there anything you’d like?” Ryan drops my hand and runs off to the games as Sam and I walk up to stand in line to order.
“Pepperoni is good, and whatever they have on tap.”
His eyes widen a little and takes two twenties out of his wallet. “Oh, um, here.” He hands me the money. “Would you actually mind ordering? I need to go get some tokens for Ryan. Pepperoni is fine with us too, and just some soda. I need to drive responsibly with the kid.” Which kid? Him or his brother? I respect the driving responsible, wouldn’t have it any other way, but I’m also almost one hundred percent positive that this guy isn’t even of legal drinking age. Never thought I’d feel like a cougar before I even turned thirty.
“That’s fine.” Sam walks off to find Ryan and I order us some pizza, me some beer and the two kids I came with some soda. I should have driven myself. I have beer at home along with a book I could be cuddled up with right now.
I find a table to sit and wait for the pizza and can see Sam and Ryan shooting hoops. I pull out my phone, I know that’s rude on a date, but I am sitting here by myself while they rack up on tickets. I’m scrolling through my latest messages from random dudes responding to the ad, I’m going to have to change my number now, when Ryan comes and sits beside me. He grabs his soda and takes a sip looking at me.