“I was surprised you could make it tonight. I thought you may be tied up with a Wednesday night church service.”
Erin opened her coat closet and pulled out a red wool coat. Bobbi helped her put it on. “Not during Lent. We have a service early on Friday evenings, but no Wednesday service until after Easter. Then no Wednesday service during the summer.”
“I see.” Bobbi opened the door and let Erin lock it. They got into Bobbi’s SUV and headed to dinner at an Italian restaurant in San Sebastian that Erin had suggested.
“I want to apologize for going to sleep after dinner the other night. I wish you had woken me. I’m pretty embarrassed.”
“Phooey.” Erin gave her a dismissive hand wave. “You were exhausted. You could have just passed on the night, you know.”
“That seemed rude.”
“I would’ve understood.”
There it is, Erin’s thoughtfulness, Bobbi thought, and she expressed her notion. “Thanks for being so understanding. Not everyone gets doctors’ behavior.” They smiled at each other.
They drove into the restaurant parking area, hopped out of the SUV, and entered the small, dark space. A host led them to reserved seats overlooking a lighted pond area. While the grasses around the pond were still brown with winter, birds had begun to arrive in the area, and they watched ducks and Canada geese in the water and small finches feeding at a circular feeder hanging off a shepherd’s crook.
Bobbi looked at her menu. “What’s good here?”
“Anything, really. But I love their lasagna. It’s what I usually have.”
“How about their shells? I’m thinking shells and sauce.”
“You won’t be disappointed, I’m sure.”
Bobbi smiled. “You know what you like, don’t you? You are a person of definite opinions.”
Erin slanted her head to the side. “Gee. I guess you’re right. I know what I want, most of the time, anyway.”
“That’s a good thing, right?”
“In my family, if you didn’t express yourself, you lost out. My three sisters and I could fight over the most insignificant thing. Once, we got into it over who got to talk to our grandparents first on the phone. We argued so loudly that Mom made us go to our rooms, and no one got to talk on the phone to them. I felt especially bad about that, because, not long after, our granddad died, and we hadn’t been able to talk to him one last time.”
“Big consequences.” Bobbi watched Erin’s face express her whole story. She’s very charming and attractive. “Not to change the subject, but I also want to apologize for my behavior toward you.”
“Oh?” Erin’s face gave nothing away. Her pastoral counseling face, Bobbi thought.
“I’ve been pretty hard on you a couple of times. You remember, I’m sure. Mr. Mendes. Mrs. Stephens. Me—abrupt, condescending, edging toward rude.”
“Oh…That.” Erin smiled wickedly.
“You remember.” Bobbi could feel her face heat up. “I need to tell you something.” She cleared her throat.
The server arrived and they put in their order. Bobbi poured a glass of red wine for each of them. She raised her glass and said, “Cheers.” Erin touched glasses with her.
“You were saying?” Erin looked intently at Bobbi. She could feel gentleness in Erin’s gaze.
“Right.” Bobbi took a sip of wine. “My reactions to you were not fair. I was in a bad relationship before I moved here. A girlfriend, Stephanie.” Bobbi took a deeper draught of wine. “I, uh…Anyway, she was physically and emotionally abusive.”
Erin looked at her intently for a moment, then said in a low tone, “I’m sorry.” Erin touched Bobbi’s hand quickly and then pulled back.
Bobbi didn’t detect pity. It was more like supportiveness coming from Erin. “Yeah. Thank you. But you are about Stephanie’s size. I mean, you’re both petite, and…Well.”
“Oh, God. That’s got to be hard.” Erin drank from her glass. “Do I trigger some PTSD? Have I done anything wrong?”
“No, no,” Bobbi said immediately. “It’s just…It’s that, when I first met you, and I didn’t know you, you reminded me of her, that’s all. Totally unconsciously. You haven’t acted in any way like her, please know that.”
“But the night at Kenny’s you were triggered?”
“Yes. It had nothing to do with you being there. The violence itself did it. And, please know, Erin, the more I know you, the less I think of Stephanie.” Bobbi hoped Erin could hear her sincerity.
“More importantly, how are you doing with the triggers?”
“I had an episode at the clinic Sunday, while I was on call. The same guy who was in the fight at Kenny’s has been abusing his wife. When I challenged him, he assaulted me—”
“Oh my God! What happened?”
“It didn’t get out of hand, and I wasn’t hurt or anything. He’s been arrested on that charge, and Roxie helped me get his wife to the Babcock County shelter.” Bobbi looked down at the table.
The server arrived with their entrees. Bobbi thanked him but didn’t take up her knife and fork. “Do you want to say grace?”
Erin looked taken off guard. “Sure.” She bowed her head, crossed herself, and gave thanks.
Bobbi bowed her head. When she looked up, Erin peered questioningly at her. Bobbi said, “That’s it, there’s not really more to the story. Why don’t we eat?”
While they ate, the conversation flowed into easier territory. They discussed work and chuckled about their families. Bobbi remembered stories from medical school: One of trying to transfer an obese patient from chair to bed and being trapped under her body when they fell onto the bed. They both laughed.
Erin told a tale that happened during her training at the cathedral, of spilling wine down the bodice of a wealthy parishioner. Bobbi’s eyes went wide.
Over coffee, Bobbi looked at Erin and said, “I have enjoyed our time together. I wondered, would you like to go out again? I mean…I like you. Would you be interested in dating?” Bobbi breathed deeply to contain her surprising nerves.
Erin gazed at Bobbi for a second. “I’m taken off guard a little, but yeah. I like you too, Doctor.” She flashed her a bright grin, then leaned forward on the table. “I need to tell you about my situation.”
Bobbi’s nerves began to jangle a little more. What could this be?
Erin went on, “My parish has a few conservative, mostly older, parishioners. While the majority of my parish holds pretty liberal views, these two parishioners have power as members of my vestry—or board. They also had a big hand in hiring me. So, they convinced the parish to add a celibacy clause to my contract.”
“What? I don’t understand.”
“My bishop doesn’t care one way or another if her gay priests date or not, but my parish is a little behind the times. They wanted assurances that I would be celibate. They take a stance of loving the gay but hating gay behavior. Love the sinner, hate the sin.”
“Son of a bitch,” Bobbi spit out, then cringed. “Sorry for swearing. I’m just astonished. How can they dictate to you like that?”
“Well, it is what it is. I agreed to their requirement when I took the job last year. I didn’t think I’d meet anyone to date out here. I’ve been in a couple of relationships over the years, but nothing serious. So, it was a no-brainer.”
“But, that doesn’t mean you can’t date, does it?” Bobbi’s frown got deeper.
“No. It doesn’t. But I didn’t want to lead you on that anything but celibate dating was possible for me. In other words, no sex, Doc.”
Bobbi gulped and nodded. “Okay.” She blinked her confusion. “This must be what my gay friends talk about when they talk about the church’s stance towards gays being bullshit.”
Erin quirked her lips in a rueful grin. “Yeah.” She shifted in her chair and became more serious. “But, I never had any real trouble until now. The Diocese I came from couldn’t care less about gays; they’re very supportive and open. I don’t flaunt my sexuality w
ith my current little parish, but I don’t hide who I am either. That’s just not me.”
“No, I can see it’s not. You seem to be very easy in your skin.”
Erin nodded. “My family taught me to be who I was. That I was loved by God, created by God just as I was, and that God charged me with being the best me I could be.” Erin looked pensive, then continued, “There’s a story from Judaism. A man named Eliezer worried he wasn’t enough like Moses. A wise rabbi told him his job was not to be the best Moses, but to be the best Eliezer. My job is to be the best Erin, just as your job is to be the best Bobbi.”
Bobbi drank her coffee, nodding quietly. This woman was very put together. How could Bobbi not be drawn to her? “So, about dating. Dating, but not get into sexual stuff. That’s hard, Mother Erin.” Bobbi smiled wickedly. “Do you think we could try it? I’m game.”
Erin laughed. “I’m not sure I trust you. You have a devilish look on your face.”
Bobbi chuckled. “Well, it couldn’t hurt to try, and if things get out of hand, we can deal with it then. What do you say? How about going to the movies with me on Friday night after your service? I assume you can’t do Saturdays because of your job the next day.”
“Okay.” Erin took Bobbi’s hand to shake it formally. “It’s a deal. Date with Bobbi Webster on Friday it is.”
On the way home, Bobbi felt a little uneasy about their dating “deal,” not sure where this was going. Or whether she could hold off her own sexual needs, either. The whole discussion had a surreal, teenage angst thing going on. But, she was willing to see where things might go. She took herself by surprise even mentioning the dating, but was glad she asked, and even gladder Erin had agreed. What did it mean, though?
At the door, Bobbi stopped and thanked Erin for a very good evening. She drew her into her arms and kissed her sweetly, not putting too much heat into it. Their first kiss. It lingered, as Erin melted into Bobbi’s body and returned the kiss. Bobbi’s lips longed for Erin’s soft ones. They kissed and kissed. Bobbi felt herself warming from the inside out. The Elf had some kissing moves. Bobbi finally broke the kiss and cuddled Erin into her arms.
“That was quite a kiss, Mother Erin.” Bobbi looked down at Erin’s beautiful smile. “Good night.”
Erin stepped out of Bobbi’s arms. “Good night. Thanks for a very pleasant night.”
Chapter Twenty-one
Erin spent Friday morning at home, having some well-deserved Sabbath time. She swam at the gym to start the day, then came home to read a new novel. She met her friend Julia for lunch at Murphy’s Diner in town.
Julia was waiting for her at a table. She rose and hugged Erin, they sat, and she asked with a smile, “What’s new?”
Erin sighed, and answered. “Not much. Lent’s been planned, and I’m working on Easter now. And by the way, I’m dating one of the doctors from the rural clinic. The one I told you about. The Take Charge one. So, I guess that’s new.”
“Oh?” Julia said non-committally, putting down her coffee cup and gazing at Erin.
Erin thought, it’s a bitch trying to get a rise from another pastor. Everyone’s trained to give off neutral vibes and not share how they really feel. “You know about my situation. I think I need to talk to the bishop.”
Julia cocked her head. “Don’t rush things, Erin. You’re not there yet, are you? How many dates have you had?”
“A couple. She fell asleep on my couch the first date, so that date was not very date-like. Then we had dinner on Wednesday. We had a very good talk. She apologized for being so bossy and rude. Said I reminded her physically of her last girlfriend, who unfortunately, was emotionally and physically abusive.”
“Wow. That’s an extra load of anxiety to put on a relationship.”
“I know. But now that she’s gotten past that, she said she likes me and wants to see more of me. I like her too, since she’s not so bossy. She’s a caring physician. Very dedicated to her work. But, she’s only here on a two-year fellowship. She started in January.”
“You’re afraid you’ll get in too deep and then she’ll leave?”
“Sure, there’s that. But also, the deal with my parish and no sexual activity. I love the quirky group at my church. Still, it irks me that only a handful of parishioners have hijacked the other more liberal ones to dictate my behavior.” Erin huffed out her exasperation. Their coffee and sandwiches arrived, and she stirred milk into her cup.
Julia chewed her sandwich and swallowed. She put her sandwich on the plate and lifted a piece of bread. “Darn. I told them no mayonnaise. Oh well.” She scraped the mayo off with her knife, then replaced the top slice of bread. She took a sip of her coffee and said, “Do you have allies in your parish?”
“Yes. Several. Most of them winter in Arizona until the first of April.” Erin fiddled with her utensils for a moment, then asked, “What would you do if you were me?”
Julia finished chewing. “If I were you, I’d wait until April. You may be able to date under the radar—”
“In this town? Where you even know the name of your neighbor’s dog? My dating Bobbi has already been noted. One older woman brought it up to me on Sunday. She saw Bobbi and me leaving my house for dinner on Wednesday when she drove by the church. She knows Bobbi. She’s a patient of hers, or so she said. She wanted to make sure I was okay.” Erin chuckled, putting air quotes around okay. “As if Bobbi would be making a house call. I called bullshit on her. Told her I was dating Bobbi. It’s the gossip she was after. So, by now the whole parish knows.”
“Okay, then.” Julia drew out her words. “So much for flying under the radar. In that case, maybe a trip to the bishop is in your near future.”
They finished their sandwiches and coffee. The server stopped by to ask if he could get them anything more. Julia grabbed the check from him.
“Hey.” Erin tried to snatch it from her, but Julia pulled it out of her way.
“It’s my turn to buy,” Julia said.
Erin sighed. “Fine. But shouldn’t the person being counseled pay, not the counselor?”
“Ha, ha,” Julia smiled and said. “Wasn’t much counseling. I think you know what you need to do. Take care of yourself and let the homophobes stew. They’ll get over it.”
“Maybe not.” Erin stood. “Thanks for lunch and for the sounding board.”
****
The Friday Stations of the Cross service lasted twenty minutes, followed by a soup supper. Erin finished her duties around eight and went next door to change from her clericals into jeans and a pullover sweater.
She realized she felt comfortable with Bobbi. She was easy to talk to, now that they had come to understand one another better. While Bobbi wasn’t into church, she had expressed genuine interest in her job as a priest and had participated in discussion with several theological questions at the Beer and Bible group. Bobbi’s questions, while biblically illiterate, were far from naïve. Erin had been amused about Bobbi’s reaction of disbelief, when others at the table talked of praying daily. Bobbi had never prayed, didn’t know how, or so she said. Erin, herself couldn’t remember a time when she didn’t pray, even as a small youngster.
Bobbi had obviously committed herself wholly to medicine. She took many nights of on call, and went into the hospital when she needn’t go, because she wanted to check personally on a patient’s condition. She had been sincerely grieved to lose a baby on Ash Wednesday. Bobbi, a serious person in many ways, was, however, hard to get to know. She wanted to know what made Bobbi Webster tick.
Then the sex thing? Who knew where their relationship would go? Maybe Bobbi would decide Erin was too much trouble and go back to dating people like the nurse she saw her with at the brewery. Erin wouldn’t blame her if she did. Priests carried a lot of baggage into a relationship.
Bobbi pulled into the driveway around eight-thirty. Erin met her with a big smile and led her into the living area.
“Hi. You’re looking more rested than a few days ago.” Erin took Bobbi’s
coat and they sat on the couch.
“No on-call this week. I switched out with one of the other fellows whose wife is due any minute. She went into labor earlier today, so I’m taking the rest of the weekend for him.”
“You mean you’re on call for forty-eight hours?” Erin said with alarm.
Bobbi ducked her head, a habit Erin noticed whenever Bobbi was embarrassed or self-conscious. “Yeah. No big deal. I’ve done it many times. What movie do you want to see?” Bobbi had her phone out, scrolling through the times and movie titles with Erin looking on.
They decided on a movie that started at nine-fifteen, so drove to the theater complex in a mall fifteen miles out near the highway. Erin bought the tickets, slyly looking up at Bobbi’s face to register her lack of surprise. That was a good sign. The good doctor didn’t assume she was the initiator in the relationship.
The movie, a science fiction-fantasy about a dystopian society, had earned an Oscar last year, and was just now coming to the local cinema.
They left the theater chatting about it.
“Do you like dystopian fiction?” Bobbi asked.
“Yeah. These wild fantasies are not so fantastic or unreal, given how the world is going right now. They give me hope that, even if the world goes sideways, into World War Three or something, that some survivors will challenge the status quo and work for a better society.” Erin got in Bobbi’s SUV.
“You’re an optimist, aren’t you?” Bobbi smiled at Erin as she started the car. “Do you want to go for a drink?”
“Let’s go to my house. I have some beer and wine, if that suits you.”
“Thanks. I looked at my finances the other day. I have quite a bit of debt from medical school, so decided I needed to stay home more and eat less take-out.”
“I have some debt too, from my masters and divinity school both. And my job pays only half time, so some weeks I just scrape by. Mom and Dad help me too.” Erin gauged the appropriateness of the next statement. “My school debt is about sixty thousand. What about you?”
Bobbi and Soul Page 13