CHAPTER FOURTEEN.
COLD WATER AND REPENTANCE--THE TWO TOMS ALMOST MORAL, AND MYSELF FULL OFWISE REFLECTIONS--THE CHAPTER, BEING FULL OF GRAVE SAWS, IS LUCKILY VERYSHORT; AND THOUGH A VERY SENSIBLE ONE, I WOULD NOT ADVISE IT TO BESKIPPED.
About half-past eight the next morning, I was called up by Tom to assistin getting the lighter under weigh. When on deck I found old Tom asfresh as if he had not drunk a drop the night before, very busilystumping about the windlass, with which we hove up first the anchor, andthen the mast. "Well, Jacob, my boy, had sleep enough? Not too much, Idare say; but a bout like last night don't come often, Jacob--only oncein a way; now, and then I do believe it's good for my health. It's agreat comfort to me, my lad, to have you on board with me, because asyou never drinks, I may now indulge a _little_ oftener. As for Tom, Ican't trust him--too much like his father--had nobody to trust to forthe look-out, except the dog Tommy, till you came with us. I can trustTommy as far as keeping off the river sharks; he'll never let them takea rope-yarn off the deck, night or day; but a dog's but a dog, afterall. Now we're brought to; so clap on, my boy, and let's heave up witha will."
"How's the old gentleman, father?" said Tom, as we paused a moment fromour labour at the windlass.
"Oh! he's got a good deal more to sleep off yet. There he lies, flat onhis back, blowing as hard as a grampus. Better leave him as long as wecan. We'll rouse him as soon as we turn Greenwich reach. Tom, didn'tyou think his nose loomed devilish large yesterday?"
"Never seed such a devil of a cutwater in my life, father."
"Well, then, you'll see a larger when he gets up, for it's swelledbigger than the brandy bottle. Heave and haul! Now bring to the fall,and up with the mast, boys, while I goes aft and takes the helm."
Old Tom went aft. During the night the wind had veered to the north,and the frost had set in sharp, the rime covered the deck of the barge,and here and there floating ice was to be seen coming down with thetide. The banks of the river and fields adjacent were white with hoarfrost, and would have presented but a cheerless aspect, had not the sunshone out clear and bright. Tom went aft to light the fire, while Icoiled away and made all snug forward. Old Tom as usual carolledforth--
"Oh! for a soft and gentle wind, I heard a fair one cry But give to me the roaring breeze, And white waves beating high, And white waves beating high, my boys, The good ship tight and free, The world of waters is our own, And merry men are we."
"A nice morning this for cooling a hot head, that's sartain. Tommy, yourascal, you're like a court lady, with her velvet _gownd_, covered allover with diamonds," continued old Tom, looking at the Newfoundland dog,whose glossy black hair was besprinkled with little icicles, whichglittered in the sun.
"You and Jacob were the only sensible ones of the party last night, foryou both were sober."
"So was I, father. I was as sober as a judge," observed Tom, who wasblowing up the fire.
"May be, Tom, as a judge a'ter dinner; but a judge on the bench be onething, and a judge over a bottle be another, and not bad judges in thatway either. At all events, if you warn't _sewed up_, it wasn't yourfault."
"And I suppose," replied Tom, "it was only your misfortune that youwere."
"No, I don't say that; but still, when I look at the dog, who's but abeast by nature, and thinks of myself, who wasn't meant to be a beast,why, I blushes, that's all."
"Jacob, look at father--now, does he blush?" cried Tom.
"I can't say that I perceive it," replied I, smiling.
"Well, then, if I don't it's the fault of my having no legs. I'm surewhen they were knocked off I lost half the blood in my body, and that'sthe reason, I suppose. At all events, I meant to blush, so we'll takethe will for the deed."
"But do you mean to keep sober in future, father?" said Tom.
"Never do you mind that--mind your own business, Mr Tom. At allevents, I sha'n't get tipsy till next time, and that's all I can saywith safety, 'cause, d'ye see, I knows my failing. Jacob, did you eversee that old gentleman sail too close to the wind before?"
"I never did--I do not think that he was ever tipsy before last night."
"Then I pities him--his headache, and his repentance. Moreover, therebe his nose and the swallow-tail of his coat to make him unhappy. Weshall be down abreast of the Hospital in half-an-hour. Suppose you goand give him a shake, Jacob. Not you, Tom; I won't trust you--you'll bedoing him a mischief; you haven't got no fellow-feeling, not even fordumb brutes."
"I'll thank you not to take away my character that way, father," repliedTom. "Didn't I put you to bed last night when you were speechless?"
"Suppose you did--what then?"
"Why, then, I had a feeling for a dumb brute. I only say that, father,for the joke of it, you know," continued Tom, going up to his father andpatting his rough cheek.
"I know that, my boy; you never were unkind, that's sartain; but youmust have your joke--
"Merry thoughts are link'd with laughter, Why should we bury them? Sighs and tears may come hereafter, No need to hurry them. They who through a spying-glass, View the minutes as they pass, Make the sun a gloomy mass, But the fault's their own, Tom."
In the meantime I was vainly attempting to rouse the Dominie. Aftermany fruitless attempts, I put a large quantity off snuff on his upperlip, and then blew it up his nose. But, merciful powers! what a nose ithad become--larger than the largest pear that I ever saw in my life.The whole weight of old Tom had fallen on it, and instead of beingcrushed by the blow, it appeared as if, on the contrary, it had swelledup, indignant at the injury and affront which it had received. The skinwas as tight as the parchment of a drum, and shining as if it had beenoiled, while the colour was a bright purple. Verily, it was theDominie's nose in a rage.
The snuff had the effect of partially awakening him from his lethargy."Six o'clock--did you say, Mrs Bately? Are the boys washed--and in theschoolroom? I will rise speedily--yet I am overcome with muchheaviness. _Delapsus somnus_ ab--" and the Dominie snored again. Irenewed my attempts, and gradually succeeded. The Dominie opened hiseyes, stared at the deck and carlines above him, then at the cupboard byhis side; lastly, he looked at and recognised me.
"_Eheu, Jacobe_!--where am I? And what is that which presses upon mybrain? What is it so loadeth my cerebellum, even as if it were lead?My memory--where is it? Let me recall my scattered senses." Here theDominie was silent for some time. "Ah me! yea, and verily, I dorecollect--with pain of head and more pain of heart--that which I wouldfain forget, which is, that I did forget myself; and indeed haveforgotten all that passed the latter portion of the night. Friend Duxhath proved no friend, but hath led me into the wrong path: and as orthe potation called _Grog--Eheu, Jacobe_! how have I fallen--fallen inmy own opinion--fallen in thine--how can I look thee in the face! O,Jacob! what must thou think of him who hath hitherto been thy preceptorand thy guide!" Here the Dominie fell back on the pillow, and turnedaway his head.
"It is not your fault, sir," replied I, to comfort him; "you were notaware of what you were drinking--you did not know that the liquor was sostrong. Old Tom deceived you."
"Nay, Jacob, I cannot lay that flattering unction to my wounded heart.I ought to have known, nay, now I recall to mind, that thou wouldst havewarned me--even to the pulling off of the tail of my coat--yet I heededthee not, and I am humbled--even I, the master over seventy boys!"
"Nay, sir, it was not I who pulled off the tail of your coat; it was thedog."
"Jacob, I have heard of the wonderful sagacity of the canine species,yet could not I ever have believed that a dumb brute would haveperceived my folly, and warned me from intoxication. _Mirabile dictu_!Tell me, Jacob, thou who hast profited by these lessons which thy mastercould give--although he could not follow up his precept by example--tellme, what did take place? Let me know the full extent of mybacksliding."
"You fell asleep, sir, and we put you to bed."
"Who did me that office, Jacob?"
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"Young Tom and I, sir; as for old Tom, he was not in a state to helpanybody."
"I am humbled, Jacob--"
"Nonsense, old gentleman; why make a fuss about nothing?" said old Tom,who, overhearing our conversation came into the cabin. "You had a_drop_ too much, that's all, and what o' that? It's a poor heart thatnever rejoiceth. Rouse a bit, wash your face with old Thames water, andin half-an-hour you'll be as fresh as a daisy."
"My head acheth!" exclaimed the Dominie, "even as if there were a ballof lead rolling from one temple to the other; but my punishment isjust."
"That is the punishment of making too free with the bottle, for sartain;but if it is an offence, then it carries its own punishment and that'squite sufficient. Every man knows that when the heart's over light atnight, that the head's over heavy in the morning. I have known andproved it a thousand times. Well, what then? I puts the good againstthe bad, and I takes my punishment like a man."
"Friend Dux, for so I will still call thee, thou lookest not at theoffence in a moral point of vision."
"What's moral?" replied old Tom.
"I would point out that intoxication is sinful."
"Intoxication sinful! I suppose that means that it's a sin to getdrunk. Now, master, it's my opinion that as God Almighty has given usgood liquor, it was for no other purpose than to drink it; and thereforeit would be ungrateful to him, and a sin, not to get drunk--that is,with discretion."
"How canst thou reconcile getting drunk with discretion, good Dux?"
"I mean, master, when there's work to be done, the work should be done;but when there's plenty of time, and everything is safe, and all readyfor a start the next morning, I can see no possible objection to ajollification. Come, master, rouse out; the lighter's abreast of theHospital almost by this time, and we must put you on shore."
The Dominie, whose clothes were all on, turned out of his bed-place andwent with us on deck. Young Tom, who was at the helm, as soon as wemade our appearance, wished him a good-morning very respectfully.Indeed, I always observed that Tom, with all his impudence and waggery,had a great deal of consideration and kindness. He had overheard theDominie's conversation with me, and would not further wound his feelingswith a jest. Old Tom resumed his place at the helm, while his sonprepared the breakfast, and I drew a bucket of water for the Dominie towash his face and hands. Of his nose not a word was said; and theDominie made no remarks to me on the subject, although I am persuaded itmust have been very painful, from the comfort he appeared to derive inbathing it with the freezing water. A bowl of tea was a great solace tohim, and he had hardly finished it when the lighter was abreast theHospital stairs. Tom jumped into the boat and hauled it alongside. Itook the other oar, and the Dominie, shaking hands with old Tom, said,"Thou didst mean kindly, and therefore I wish thee a kind farewell, goodDux."
"God be with you, master," replied old Tom; "shall we call for you as wecome back?"
"Nay, nay," replied the Dominie, "the travelling by land is moreexpensive, but less dangerous. I thank thee for thy songs, and--for allthy kindness, good Dux. Are my paraphernalia in the boat, Jacob?"
I replied in the affirmative. The Dominie stepped in, and we pulled himon shore. He landed, took his bundle and umbrella under his arm, shookhands with Tom and then with me, without speaking, and I perceived thetears start in his eyes as he turned and walked away.
"Well, now," said Tom, looking after the Dominie, "I wish I had beendrunk instead of he. He does so take it to heart, poor old gentleman!"
"He has lost his self-esteem, Tom," replied I. "It should be a warningto you. Come, get your oar to pass."
"Well, some people he fashioned one way and some another. I've beentipsy more than once, and I never lost anything but my reason, and thatcame back as soon as the grog left my head. I can't understand thatfretting about having had a glass too much. I only frets when I can'tget enough. Well, of all the noses I ever saw, his bests them bychalks; I did so want to laugh at it, but I knew it would pain him."
"It is very kind of you, Tom, to hold your tongue, and I thank you verymuch."
"And yet that old dad of mine swears I've got no fellow-feeling, which Iconsider a very undutiful thing for him to say. What's the reason,Jacob, that sons be always cleverer than their fathers?"
"I didn't know that was the case, Tom."
"But it is so _now_, if it wasn't in _olden time_. The proverb says,`Young people _think_ old people to be fools, but old people _know_young people to be fools.' We must alter that, for I says, `Old people_think_ young people to be fools, but young people _know_ old people tobe fools.'"
"Have it your own way, Tom, that will do, rowed of all."
We tossed in our oars, made the boat fast, and gained the deck, whereold Tom still remained at the helm. "Well," said he, "Jacob, I neverthought I should be glad to see the old gentleman clear of the lighter,but I was--devilish glad; he was like a load on my conscience thismorning; he was trusted to my charge by Mr Drummond, and I had no rightto persuade him to make a fool of himself. But, however, what's donecan't be helped, as you say sometimes; and it's no use crying; still itwas a pity, for he be, for all the world, like a child. There's a fancykind of lass in that wherry, crossing _our_ bows; look at the streamersfrom her top-gallant.
"Come o'er the sea, Maiden, to me, Mine through sunshine, storm, and snows, Seasons may roll, But the true soul Burns the same wherever it goes Then come o'er the sea, Maiden, with me."
"See you hanged first, you underpinned old hulk!" replied the female inthe boat, which was then close under our bows.
"Well, that be civil, for certain," said old Tom, laughing.
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