“W-What?” I exclaimed in bewilderment.
“That’s right dumbass,” Zayden continued with a sneer. “We lied, because you suck ass at acting. Your precious little princess still loves you.”
I gawked at him, before looking at Ava’s ashamed expression. “You lied?” I repeated.
“Please don’t be mad,” she pleaded. “It was a big risk, considering you can turn your emotions off, not to mention you’re really…dangerous…but we weren’t sure you could pull it off.”
“You lied,” I said again, trying to wrap my mind around the implications. Trying to reevaluate what I just went through in the last few hours, and by extension, redefine my world.
“I really didn’t want to do it,” Ava continued in a rush. “And technically I didn’t lie to you. I said that Trinity moved into Zane’s room, but that was after Zane had moved out. I just didn’t clarify that fact.”
I stared into space as I continued to process that, feeling uncertain now. I couldn’t handle my heart being broken like that again. It was hell.
“How do I know you’re not lying now?” I asked seriously. “That you aren’t just telling me this, so I won’t be miserable to be around?” I clarified.
They were both silent for a few minutes. Ava finally responded.
“I don’t know if this will help, but back there when you almost killed Trinity.” She paused, looking uncertain again, since she knew this was a rough subject for me. “Jake, we could have just left you. She didn’t have to risk her life to save you. Do you really think she would have done that if she loved Zane instead?”
I thought about that for a moment.
I supposed she was right. I couldn’t imagine why Trinity would have done that, unless she loved me, because I had almost killed her. She was skilled at strategy, and the best move would have been to just let me take one for the team and leave me, especially if she was having to put on a façade while I was around, because I was so dangerous.
However, while that seemed to prove she may sincerely care about me, it didn’t prove that she hadn’t been in a relationship with Zane all this time. After all, maybe she was just looking for an excuse to be with someone else. Or maybe she developed this scheme, only to sincerely fall in love with me. Was there any way I could know for sure that they hadn’t been sleeping together before I showed up?
I thought back to when we first met.
Zane had questioned about her judgment regarding my ability to handle the mission, because she had been flirting with me. If he had been dating Trinity, then there would be no reason for him to question her judgement. It certainly wasn’t for my benefit. His performance, if it had been a performance, didn’t do anything to convince me that they weren’t together. I had already assumed that based on his previous behavior.
Instead, he was concerned that they were all going to die because I didn’t know how to use my powers. And his retort was that it appeared like she liked me and wasn’t thinking clearly because of it. Again, if he had been dating her, then none of that would make sense. Why point out her behavior in front of me, claiming her decision might not be reliable because of it, if he was aware that flirting with me was a part of the plan?
And it absolutely would be a requirement that Trinity’s boyfriend know she was going to pretend not to be together with him, to try to make this new guy fall for her.
But did that necessarily mean they had never dated?
If they had broken up recently, even in the last year, then he might have shown signs of jealousy. But instead, there was nothing like that from him. Sure, they seemed to respect each other, and if Trinity’s story about his group saving her was true, then that made perfect sense.
But still, I was finding it difficult to feel certain either way.
Zayden and Ava’s little lie had turned my world upside down, and that one tiny seed of doubt was enough to make me insecure to the point that I wasn’t sure if I’d believe Trinity herself if she promised me there had never been anything between them.
Was my confidence in her so small?
A thought occurred to me then.
Now that I considered everything from this new perspective, I realized that Trinity may have initially started off with that plan – to lure in the new guy with her charm to strategically establish some form of power over me. Because she had seen what I was capable of in person, and then later found out that I would win against her – the strongest person on the team – over ninety percent of the time according to their supercomputer. That probably scared her, and made her realize that she had to do something to protect herself and everyone else.
However, when I had protected her – died for her, that changed everything. She immediately began giving me the cold shoulder after that, abandoning her initial plan because the way it made her feel scared her more. And she tried really hard to push me away.
Granted, giving someone the cold shoulder might be a way to get someone to become enthralled, but it could also make someone bitter. Doing so would be extremely risky – much more than just continuing to show an interest in me. She would have succeeded easily at getting me wrapped around her finger by only doing what she began with.
But she didn’t. She tried to push me away.
Not to mention the whole Liz situation. If Trinity had followed orders, then Liz should have died, since ‘take no hostages’ had been clearly outlined for everyone paying attention. She knew the rules, and yet disobeyed them anyway out of consideration for me.
Still, none of that guaranteed that everything Zayden and Ava had said was a lie. Zane and Trinity still might have had some kind of relationship at some point. Which meant, I could only think of one way to know for sure.
One day, when I did return, and we finally got to third base and beyond, then I would know. If she struggled with having sex like she claimed would happen, the trauma of her past refusing to release its claws on her, then I’d know that there was no way in hell she and Zane had been together. But if she magically overcame her trauma, then I’d have genuine reason to believe she had either worked it out already with someone else, or it had never happened to begin with.
But the thing was, it must have happened.
Her reaction when she found out I was a blood-drinker was just too real, and completely unplanned. There was no way she could have prepared such an elaborate story on the spot, and have Zane already prepared to collaborate it, when she had no idea I was a blood-drinker until that point. Not to mention, if somehow she had known, then she would have made a big scene about it much sooner. Instead, it was something that came up randomly when attempting to learn more about Liz’s shield.
Completely unplanned. Entirely on the spot.
So in the end, that would be how I’d know. I hated the fact that I was counting on her to struggle as our relationship became more intimate, but her struggle was going to be the evidence that she hadn’t worked it out with someone else already. That she had saved her fear for me to help her through.
Her past trauma was definitely a curse that affected her even now, and yet it was going to end up being my saving grace – the thing that confirmed I could trust her.
It was strange as I realized the bittersweet nature of the situation. It was truly like a double-edge sword, somehow allowing for both something good and something horrible to originate from the same event.
Ava must have suspected that I still didn’t believe them, because after a long silence, she spoke up again without prompt. “Jake, Trinity is only sixteen. Their relationship would be completely illegal, especially since she officially joined the team when she was only thirteen. It wouldn’t be difficult for the military to find out they were sleeping together, and they wouldn’t let it continue. At least one, if not both of them, would have been removed from the team.”
I glanced at her. “Yeah, but you’re the one who pointed out that it’s not even legal for us to be in the military in the first place.”
She pursed her lips. “Yes,
but they aren’t going to let a twenty-six year old sleep with a teenager. That would be a thousand times worse than you sleeping with Liz, who’s almost the same age as Trinity was when she joined. At least you’re still a teenager yourself.”
I grimaced. Why did she have to remind me of Liz’s infatuation? I quickly tried to move the conversation along. “But I slept in the same room as Trinity and Liz that one night, and no one said anything about it,” I countered.
“I wouldn’t have allowed it,” she pressed. “I would have said something. Not to mention, you wouldn’t know this, since you haven’t been on the base long, but they do unscheduled walkthroughs at night. There’s no way to predict when someone might show up to make sure nothing is going on that shouldn’t be. Some nights, a walkthrough happens twice, just to avoid us thinking that no one will be around once they’ve come the first time. And I know Zane made a comment about not caring if you two slept in the same room together, but that was more for Trinity’s sake, telling her it was her business if she wanted to risk it.”
“Oh,” I said in surprise. I supposed that made sense. I leaned back in my seat, realizing the world had color again. It wasn’t empty anymore, and the tightness in my chest had all but evaporated. There was still a lingering uncertainty, but it was nothing like the devastation I had been crushed with. I cleared my throat. “So, who’s idea was this?” I asked seriously. “To do this to me?”
Ava eyed me carefully before responding. “Zane,” she finally admitted. “He said if we didn’t think you could pull it off, then we had to do something to make it convincing. Obviously, you’d never believe it if we said she had been with Zayden or one of the soldiers. Not to mention it might put them in danger if you decided to go on a killing spree. Which left him as the only logical option.”
I just stared blankly into space. “Did Trinity know?” I wondered.
“Hell no!” Zayden chimed in abruptly. “She would have killed us all on the spot. And I feel bad for Zane if she ever finds out, because he’ll be a goner.”
I couldn’t help but smile a little at that. It was barely a smirk, but that small amusement behind it was like a feast after starving – like that bonfire in the middle of a frigid winter. Except, the cold was gone now, coupled with a small spark of warmth.
“I’m sorry,” Ava repeated quietly, her hands balled into fists on her thighs. “I’m sorry we put you through that,” she continued, her voice sounding strained.
I met her gaze, only to have her look away immediately, trying to hide tears in the corner of her eyes.
I sighed heavily, and carefully moved my hand until the back of it was resting against her thigh. Her head turned slowly to look at me, but I avoided meeting her gaze. “Please don’t do that again,” I replied quietly. “I guess…” I took a deep breath. “I guess I get why you did it. But never again. I don’t think you realize what your lie almost did to me.”
“I do realize,” Ava whispered. “That’s why I was against it. I know what it’s like to be devastated. To have your world turned upside down in a way that destroys you. To be betrayed. Except it wasn’t a lie for me.”
I held her gaze, seeing the pain lingering in her expression – remorse for what she’d done to me, and for whatever else was haunting her. Whatever else she hadn’t shared with me a few nights ago.
“And what’s that?” Zayden asked insensitively.
Ava met his gaze, her fingers grasping her thighs now. “I had a boyfriend when I was fourteen,” she stated in a shaky voice to Zayden, though it felt like she was really telling me. “I watched him die,” she added simply, her voice breaking.
My body tensed as I instantly understood what she didn’t say, and I suddenly had an intense desire to murder her father. I glanced down at her hands again when I saw her arms shaking, her fingernails digging into her legs.
Without thinking, I reached over and placed my hand firmly on hers, pressing it into her thigh. She forcefully extended her fingers out, as if trying to make herself stop digging them in, and closed her eyes tightly, turning her head away from us both.
“What in the hell is wrong with you two?” Zayden snapped, staring at my hand on hers, as if he hadn’t heard what she had just said about watching her boyfriend die. I doubted it had been anything too serious at fourteen, but that wasn’t the point. Her father had made her watch him torture and kill the guy she liked.
I glared at Zayden, turning my murderous rage on him as I spoke in an eerily calm tone. “Look buddy, you’re at the top of my hit list right now, so how about you stop being such an ass for a couple of minutes?”
Unsurprisingly, he scoffed, and made a big scene of crossing his arms over his chest as he looked away, responding with, “Whatever.”
I then looked at Ava, examining her tense posture. I glanced down at our hands, my skin sharply contrasted against her natural tan. I wasn’t sure that physical touch was helping, and I doubted a hug would be any better.
There was something else I could do though. It was small, but something.
“Remember when Liz threw your knife?” I asked in a light-hearted tone. “I was like, ‘Ah crap, Ava is going to be pissed.’”
She laughed in disbelief at the sudden, somewhat stupid change in subject, stealing both her hands away to wipe her eyes. “I was pissed,” she admitted.
“But you know what?” I continued, shifting the topic slightly again. “I knew you were the best choice to talk to her. Because you’re not like the rest of us. You’re inherently a nice person, and the rest of us are just a bunch of assholes.”
She laughed again, though it was borderline a scoff as she shook her head. “Curse words don’t sound natural coming from your mouth,” she replied.
I shrugged. “It’s not my forte,” I admitted.
“No, it’s not,” she agreed with a small smile. “Maybe you should just give up on that endeavor. I like it better when you don’t cuss.”
“Oh,” I replied lamely. I wasn’t sure how to respond to that, because I was just trying to be silly to get her mind off the horrid memory, but her comment sounded like a serious request.
She then scoffed before I could come up with a retort. “And I am not a nice person.”
“I disagree. And I would know, because that kind of thing is my forte.”
“What? Detecting nice people? Or assholes?” she asked with a playful grin.
Zayden barked out a laugh at that one, taking her comment literally.
“Both,” I replied with a smile. “It’s my extra extra ability.”
“Oh? And what’s this special ability called? Magic?” she scoffed playfully.
I nodded in agreement, my expression misleadingly serious. “Absolutely. It’s Jake magic. You may have heard of it.”
She laughed again, shaking her head. “Jake, you’re absurd.”
“Yep,” I agreed cheerfully. “I am absurd.” My tone then unexpectedly became more serious than I was intending. Too serious. “And whatever else you need me to be, I’ll be it.”
She looked shocked, prompting me to turn my head away in embarrassment, concerned that I’d just fallen off that cliff. Afraid she was going to say something about being a ‘good friend’ right in front of Zayden, who was a jerk but not stupid. He’d know exactly what she meant by that.
Instead, she surprised me with her response, her tone just as serious.
“Same here,” she agreed simply.
Chapter 8: New Leader
The last few days in Indonesia had felt like being in a totally different world, so when we got back to base, it was surreal. I had only been on the base for two and a half days, followed by two days being lost in traveling across the world, prior to the bomb hitting. Yet still, this place felt more familiar than it should have. I wondered if my inability to sleep was the reason why I had that sensation – that I had been here conscious much longer than three days. That also might be the reason why I felt like I had been in another world for an eternity.
&nbs
p; If my estimation was right, this was only my tenth day of being on the team, and yet my previous life felt like a distant memory. I just hoped the same wouldn’t happen with Trinity and Liz – feeling like they were a distant memory after only a week of being apart, never mind the possibility of a year…
I suspected that feeling Liz below me might help.
Her presence was always there, like a soft glow an unfathomable distance beneath my feet. I couldn’t sense any emotions from her at all – I had lost that capacity even before Trinity dropped off my internal radar. But I could still feel her. And by extension, I knew Trinity would be with her.
I still felt uneasy though, knowing Zane was there too. I had never had a problem with him, prior to being told that lie, but now my perception of his character was tainted. So I did the only thing I could do – focus on the moments Trinity and I had shared in the last week and a half.
I recalled the fight we had, where she used her ability on me the first and only time behind the barracks. I recalled the tears in her eyes when I forced her to admit that she cared. I also remembered our first date on the base, and how much fun it was to toss each other in the air, along with running around at inhuman speeds. And then the small date we shared in Indonesia, when I went to get her some meat.
I recalled the sensation of her lips on the back of my hand, and the warmth her affection gave me. Kissing was something that could be easily done without love, but affection was a different story – that couldn’t easily be faked. And her eyes had been full of it – love, adornment, longing, and affection.
I again saw the look in her crimson eyes, the regret that our time was almost up, and her comment about not wanting to stay. She knew all the arguments, and she knew I probably wouldn’t change my mind – not when it risked lives, but she couldn’t help but voice her own opinion, something she had been trained not to do since a young age. Granted, I wasn’t her commanding officer, or whatever, but it felt like she had shifted that authority to me. Despite the fact that her rank was higher, I was the one above her, instead of vice versa.
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