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Morally Blasphemous
(Morally Questionable Book 2)
Copyright© Veronica Lancet 2020-2021
Preface
DEAR READER,
Before proceeding further, please be aware that this book deals with extremely sensitive themes.
As the title implies, religion i.e. the Catholic faith plays a big role in this book, and its portrayal should not under any circumstance be interpreted as a mockery of its tenets or practices. Cosa Nostra (Italian Mafia) and Catholicism are inherently intertwined. The religious depictions present in this book are used to show how these practices can be distorted to suit certain needs. Cosa Nostra operates under a code of honor, and the Church with its intrinsic principles fits within that code of honor. These considerations are merely a front for the mafia and help justify actions that would otherwise be considered immoral.
TRIGGER WARNINGS: animal abuse, attempted rape, blood (gore), child abuse, death, derogatory terms, domestic abuse, guns, extreme graphic violence, graphic sexual situations, incestuous situations, kidnapping, miscarriage, murder, self-harm, suicide, descriptive rape, uncomfortable religious situations, extreme depictions torture.
Contents
Preface
Playlist
Prologue
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-one
Chapter Twenty-two
Chapter Twenty-three
Chapter Twenty-four
Chapter Twenty-five
Chapter Twenty-six
Chapter Twenty-seven
Chapter Twenty-eight
Chapter Twenty-nine
Chapter Thirty
Chapter Thirty-one
Chapter Thirty-two
Epilogue
Afterword
What's next?
Morally Decadent
Playlist
AHZEE — EYES CLOSED
Alessandro Safina — Luna
Darren Hayes—Insatiable
Edmofo — Lost My Mind (Original Mix)
Everybody Loves an Outlaw—I See Red
GIMS, Maluma — Hola Señorita
KAZKA — Мало
Mahmood—Barrio
Mahmood—Soldi
Maniac—Фрау
MARUV — To Be Mine
Michele Morrone—Drink Me
Oh Nanana — Bonde R300
Parah Dice, Holy Molly — Everybody's Scared
Stefflon Don — 16 Shots
THE HARDKISS feat. MONATIK — Кобра
Two Feet — I Feel Like I'm Drowning
Willy William—Ego
Ленинград — i_$uss
Prologue
10 YEARS AGO,
WITH SHAKY FINGERS, I clutch my stomach. There's a life growing inside of me. A life that's been forced on me... A sob wrecks my body as I remember his icy fingers on me. Immediately, I heave and go straight to the bathroom, emptying the contents of my stomach. After putting myself slightly together, I move to the mirror and examine my figure. There's already a bulge where a smooth stomach had once been. Soon, I will not be able to hide my condition at all.
I don't want to think about what my father will do when he finds out. No matter what, this child is not guilty of anything, and I intend to guard it with my life. Which is why I've been biding my time so it's impossible to get an abortion. It's been around five months now... five should guarantee my baby is unharmed, no?
I steel my spine and go downstairs before my resolve disappears. I head straight to my father's study, and I knock.
"Enter." He barks, and I make my way inside. My mother and Enzo are there too, and I hope maybe they will help me.
"Catalina, a surprise." My father looks me up and down in distaste. He already knows about the incident. I'd been missing for two whole days, and for a sheltered seventeen-year-old to do that... They already knew what to expect when they found me. Ever since that moment, my father had declared me damaged goods. I don't know how I hid the pregnancy until now, given the circumstances, but maybe it was a small mercy in the grand scheme of things.
"Talk!" He demands, and my hands start fidgeting in front of me.
"I... I'm pregnant." I whisper, and my head droops, not wanting to meet his gaze. I only hear a banging noise before my body is forcefully backed against the wall. My father has his hand around my throat, his eyes blazing with fury.
"You're pregnant..." He gives a mirthless laugh. "And you noticed just now? Stupid girl."
"I want to keep it," I say, hoping my voice holds enough power. He gives me a shove, and I fall to my knees.
"She wants to keep it. Do you hear that?" He's laughing now, a maniacal laugh that has me wincing. "After all I've done for you, and this is how you repay me, girl? I could have found a husband to overlook your lack of virtue, but a bastard. No one's going to take you now."
"Please..." I whisper, not knowing exactly what I am asking for.
"Out! Get out! If you're of no use to me, you might as well disappear from my sight."
"But papa..." I start, panicking. I'm seventeen and pregnant. How can I manage on the streets alone?
"Father, I think I have a better solution. One that won't sully our name either." Enzo interjects, his eyes turning towards me and pleading me to stay quiet.
"Speak!"
"We can send her off to Sacre Coeur. She can give birth there and live with the nuns. If anyone asks, we can say she had religious inclinations, and we could not stand against her righteous path. Then our name will not only suffer no injury, but we will also be praised for our Catholic spirit." Enzo explains, and my father considers this for a minute.
"Fine. But she's never to return. From now on, she's no longer my daughter." He declares, and I can only sigh in relief. I will be safe. My baby will be safe.
Enzo comes to me, helping me to my feet.
"Easy, Lina. I got you." He whispers close to my ear, and the tension in my shoulders is suddenly released. I let myself lean on him as he helps me out of the study and to my room.
"You should start packing some essentials."
"Thank you, Enzo. Thank you!" I fling myself into his arms. "You've not only saved me, but you've saved my baby too." His arms tighten around me.
"This is just the beginning of the road, Lina. You've made a decision that will affect your entire life, but I can't say I blame you." He
shakes his head ruefully.
"At least I will be with my child... and safe," I add, a shiver going through my body at the thought of that man with the amber eyes.
"I will make sure of it, piccola. When I become capo, I will return you to your rightful place. Just... wait for me." He kisses my brow and leaves.
A convent... Anything is better than remaining in this den of vipers. I have someone to protect now.
TWO MONTHS LATER,
I DIDN'T EXPECT SACRE Coeur to be so... sacred. I've tried to interact with some nuns and novitiates, but they've been cold to me, as if being pregnant out of wedlock is the biggest sin on earth. After being rebuked too many times, I just stopped trying. They had given me my own quarters in the form of a small and barren single bedroom. It's not much, especially for an expecting mother, but they'd told me I was already fortunate enough to not have a roommate. Somehow I doubt it had been my fortune, or rather, no one had wanted to share a space with a sinner.
I carefully make my bed before heading out for breakfast. As usual, all the women give me icy stares, so I take my tray and head towards the back of the dining hall. The food they serve isn't the best... but I guess at this point I really can't be picky. I have a roof over my head, and I get to keep my baby. Nothing else matters. I'll get used to the standards at some point.
Minding my own business, I'm startled by the sound of sliding metal against my table. I lift my head a fraction and see a little girl looking at me hesitantly.
"Can I sit here?" She asks in a quiet voice, incertitude written all over her face.
"Of course." I immediately reply. She gives me a tentative smile and quietly takes a seat across from me.
She's young, probably around eight or nine years old. She's wearing a dark blue uniform, similar to the other girls her age. Her hair is so blonde, it's almost white, which is contrasted by her olive skin tone. A very unusual combination. Her eyes, though, are the lightest shade of brown I've ever seen in my life. She has stunning features, and she'd undoubtedly grow up to be a stunner. But there's also something else. A splotchy red circle mars her skin on her right side, spreading from the top of her eyebrow and going into her hairline.
I notice her tight smile trembling a little at my perusal and I realize I'd been staring. I give her a soft nod, hoping to alleviate her fears that I won't judge her for her appearance.
We eat in silence and I can't help but hear hushed voices around us, some of them mentioning Satan's whore and the Devil's child. Of course I know who they're talking about. The girl in front of me is probably just as marginalized.
"What's your name?" I ask.
"Assisi." She replies after chewing her food and swallowing.
"I'm Catalina."
She doesn't respond, but her features seem more relaxed.
After finishing my food, I stand up to put my tray away. Assisi immediately rises from her seat as well and follows me.
"Can I come too?" She asks in the same quiet voice. I frown.
"Where?"
"Wherever you're going." She shrugs slightly. One look around and I can see how the other women stare at her. Poor child...
"Of course." I say and to show her she's safe with me, I take her hand. She seems a little surprised at the contact, but instead of shying away, she fits herself closer to my body.
I show her my room and she marvels at the fact that I live alone. She tells me that her sleeping quarters have ten beds that are always full. I'm taken aback by that. Surely that can't be legal. I don't comment on it, however, since it's clear that this is all Assisi's ever known.
Feeling some pain in my lower back, I head to the bed to rest a little. Assisi's gaze is focused on my belly and she's frowning.
"Why is your belly so big?" She finally asks.
"I'm expecting a baby." Her eyes widen.
"A baby?" Hurrying to my side, she looks at my bump in wonder. "There?"
I nod, taking her hand and placing it on my belly. Right at that moment, my baby girl decides to kick. Assisi withdraws her hand, a shocked expression on her face.
"How does the baby live there?" She asks, almost horrified.
"It's a girl. And she lives in here through me." I try my best to explain the biology of it to a child, almost forgetting that I'm not much older than one either. I was lucky that Enzo didn't hold the same anachronistic views like my father. He got me a gynecologist appointment to check my baby's health right before I moved to Sacre Coeur. I'd found out that I was carrying a healthy girl, and I'd been able to hear her heartbeat.
"So you'll be a mother?" She asks, bringing her ear to my bump and trying to listen for the baby's sounds.
"Yes." I answer, not making too much out of her question. She raises her head slowly, her eyes downcast.
"I've never had a mother." She whispers. "She didn't want me."
"Sweetie." I take her hand and squeeze, trying to offer her my comfort.
"Can you be my mother too?" Her beautiful eyes are full of hope as she looks at me.
"Sweetie, I can't be your mother." I start and her face falls immediately. "But I can be your sister." I quickly add.
"Really?"
"Really."
"Thank you." She takes me into her arms and gives me a hug. My arms go around her small body and I hold tight.
We're both in the same boat now.
Unwanted.
Hated.
But at least we're not alone anymore.
Lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch'entrate
—Dante Aligheri, Inferno Canto III
Chapter One
PRESENT-DAY
I'VE BEEN SITTING AT Tino's grave for what seems like forever. Ten years... I hadn't seen my brother in ten years. And now he's dead. In this lifetime, I've had many regrets. What's more to add to the bunch? With one last glance, I stand up to leave.
Not too far in the distance, I see Vlad, hands in his pockets, waiting for me.
"Vlad." I incline my head, knowing that his presence here will not bring me any good news.
I thought that with Jimenez dead, everything would end. I was wrong. Everything is just beginning.
"Capo Lastra." He smirks at me, and my lip twitches in annoyance.
"What is it?" I ask.
"You need to take your position back, my friend. War is coming." I scoff at his choice of words.
"Not interested ten years ago, not interested now," I reply and move past him.
"What about your sisters?" He asks, and I stop in my tracks, turning ever so slightly.
"What about them?" I have two sisters, Assisi, and Venezia. Both young... far too young to know about the cruelty of the world.
"They'll be fair game for anyone looking for legitimacy. Still not your business?"
"They'll manage." I lie, knowing there is no way they will ever manage.
There was a reason I left that life behind a decade ago. I'd done some things that even now prevented me from sleeping at night.
"You know they won't. Venezia is what... fifteen?" Vlad casually asks, and I have to grit my teeth.
She'd been a small child when I'd left. I barely even remember her. But he is right. They will be fair game if I don't step in.
As much as I'd like to pretend that the last few weeks haven't happened, that I'm still Marcel Lester, and that Tino is still alive and well... I can't.
"I'll move into the house soon." I relent.
"I knew you'd see reason." Vlad beams at me. "The Gallaghers have already made their first move. You know what you have to do."
"I know. I'll drop by Enzo's and make peace with him, now that we know who really killed Romina."
"I wasn't talking about that..." Vlad raises his eyes to look at me. "You must consolidate an alliance. Marriage."
"Venezia is too young., and Assisi will soon take her vows." I immediately add.
"I wasn't talking about them."
"I can't marry. You of all people should know why." I emphasize. My past has soiled me. I cannot e
ven bear the touch of a woman without recoiling in disgust. I could never marry.
"You must. It's the only way." Vlad insists.
"There's only one woman I'd ever consider marrying. And she's gone." I lift my head up and close my eyes for a second, conjuring up her face.
"Exactly. She's gone. Which means you must marry whoever Enzo proposes. You need to realize that times are changing." Vlad's being more forceful than I've ever seen him.
"I won't shirk my responsibility... if only for my sisters."
"It can be a marriage in name only. It's been done before." He adds, and I grunt. A marriage in name only is the only marriage I'm capable of.
"If that's all..." I say and make to leave.
"No." Vlad pushes a file in front of me. I frown.
"What's this?" I ask, wondering what else Vlad has under his sleeve.
"Your first assignment as capo." I take the file and open it.
It's an FBI report, documenting serial killings. I sift through the pages, and I feel a knot tightening in my stomach.
"How long have you known?" I ask, my voice trembling with alarm.
"Long enough." He shrugs and then points to the last page.
5th May, Philadelphia
"This is last month," I say as I look at the horrific details. The murder is that of a family with two children. The images are grotesque, showing adults with the sown limbs of the children and vice versa.
"This can't be Chimera," I say confidently.
"You're right. But if it's not Chimera, then who is it?" Vlad purses his lips. I avert my gaze and take a deep breath.
Our sins always catch up with us. And mine have been chasing me for an awfully long time.
Chapter Two
AGE FIVE,
"I CAN KEEP IT, can't I?" I look up at mother's disinterested expression, silently begging her to say yes. With mother, you never know what you're going to get. Sometimes I think she's in a good mood, but just asking for a hug might set her off. Last time it wasn't pretty. I'd bruised my knee and wanted some comfort... I don't know why. Sometimes I just want some human contact. She'd said yes, initially, but a second later she'd shoved me off her and thrown me to the floor, saying it's a sin for a son to touch his mother.
Morally Blasphemous (Morally Questionable Book 2) Page 1