The moment she sees Father Guerra, or what's left of him, she crosses herself and drops to her knees, her eyes wide with horror.
"Let's go." Sisi urges me further, taking my focus off Mother Superior. I follow her until we are safely back to the room.
Claudia is still asleep, so we try to keep our volume to the minimum.
"Someone saw me... Oh Lord, someone knows." I can't help but panic the more I think about it. The image of Father Guerra disemboweled and displayed publicly will be forever seared in my head. I can't ever unsee that...
"You don't know that."
"It was written there. You saw it too." I bring my hand to my forehead and close my eyes. I need to do something... I can't stay here. If someone knows... I shudder just thinking about it. Whoever did that to Father Guerra... Lord! We can't stay here. It's too dangerous.
"Maybe it was a prank."
"A prank?" I turn towards Sisi. "Did you see what they did to the corpse? They debased it... No... I can't do this. I can't just sit around and wait until whoever it was comes for me. Or worse, Claudia."
"I understand, but what can you do?"
Bringing my nails to my mouth, I bite them, the anxiety eating at my sanity. What can I do?
Think, Catalina, think!
"I need to call Enzo, tell him everything." I blurt out. I don't know if Enzo can do anything, but maybe he can at least protect my daughter.
I don't even wait for Sisi to reply. I go directly to my hidden spot and take out my phone, dialing Enzo. He picks up on the first try.
"Lina?" He asks, clearly surprised I'd call this early.
"Enzo... I need help. I screwed up." I start, my voice trembling as I try to explain what happened.
"Slow down, piccola. What happened?"
And so I tell him. Not in great detail, but I think he understands enough because he immediately tells me.
"I'll be there in a couple of hours. Don't move! Don't leave your room, understood?"
"Yes." I whisper, and I hang up.
"You're leaving?" Sisi asks.
"I don't know. Enzo told me to wait for him. I'm more than scared, Sisi... I'm terrified. What if something happens to Claudia? You saw that thing outside. No sane person would do that."
"No, you're right. You can't risk her safety, or yours."
"What about you, Sisi? You helped me!" I'd hate for anything to happen to her because of me.
"I'll be fine." She says dismissively, but I'm not convinced.
"At least call your brother. Let him know you might be in danger." I add.
"I don't think it's necessary. Chances are security will be tightened because of the incident. Don't worry about me, please." She takes my hands in hers. "Let's get you packed up. You need to get out of here."
I reluctantly agree, and we fill a few bags, mostly with clothes. I then gently wake Claudia up and explain to her we may need to leave. In her confused, sleepy state, she just agrees with me, not really asking questions.
True to his word, Enzo is here an hour later. He calls me to come down, as he is waiting in front of the building.
"Enzo!" I call out as I rush to hug him. He kisses the top of my head.
"It's going to be ok, piccola." He swoops Claudia up and swirls her around.
'Are you ready, moppet?"
"Yes!" Claudia exclaims. I don't know whether she understands that we are leaving the convent, given that she's never seen the outside world, but she's open to it.
"What about Mother Superior?"
"I had a few words with her. She was too distraught to argue with me."
"She was probably glad to see me gone." I add drily.
"I just told her I couldn't in good faith leave you here, at the scene of a crime." He grimaces at the word crime, and I look away. I hadn't told him everything, given my mental state at the time. But I will.
"Let's just get out of here." I say and he nods.
We soon find ourselves in the back of Enzo's car and on our way to his house... my childhood house. Claudia, still a little sleepy, nods off. I am thankful for that, as I can discuss things with Enzo more freely.
"Guerra, you said?"
"Yes." And then, in a shushed tone, I give him a full account of what happened, from the moment I saw him touching Claudia, to Sisi and I burying him in the cemetery.
"And you have no idea who could have left that message?"
I shake my head vigorously.
"It was like a spectacle... of death. I feel like whoever did that was mocking me."
"It's not the best situation," Enzo grimly admits. "more so because he was a Guerra. We've never been in good terms with them."
"What do you think they'll do?"
"At best? Take revenge. At worst... take revenge." Enzo says cryptically, but I try not to think too much about it.
We get home and Enzo suggests I take my old room.
"I'll keep Claudia with me for now, since this is a foreign place for her."
"Go rest, piccola. If you need anything, just let me know. Allegra won't come home anytime soon, but Lucca is here. I'll introduce you later. Maybe him and Claudia will get along."
"That sounds good." I nod.
Enzo takes Claudia in his arms and lays her down on my childhood bed.
"Everything is the same..." I remark as Enzo is about to leave.
"I told you I'd get you back, piccola. Maybe the circumstances aren't ideal right now, but this is your home."
"Thank you!" I kiss his cheek.
Closing the door, I take a deep breath and look around my old room. It still has my teenage clothes, and everything I'd not been able to take with me to Sacre Coeur. Shifting my gaze to a sleeping Claudia, I can't help but smile.
I don't care where I am, as long as she's with me—safe.
She's all that matters.
THE FOLLOWING DAY, Enzo asks to speak with me. From the tone of his voice, I can tell he doesn't have any good news to share. After we'd woken up, Claudia and I had headed to breakfast, where we'd also met Enzo's son Lucca. As expected, Claudia and Lucca had become fast friends, especially when Lucca had invited her to play with his toys. For a little girl who's only ever lived within the confines of a convent, this was a whole new adventure. I'd encouraged her to have some fun.
As I take a seat opposite from Enzo, I can't help but fidget.
"Lina..." He starts and shakes his head. He's holding a letter in his hand, which he passes to me.
"What's this?" I ask. His mouth is set into a rigid line. With a trembling hand, I grab the letter and open it.
Skimming the contents, I feel my stomach drop.
"This... but how?" I ask.
"I don't know. I really have no idea how they found out. Whoever dumped Guerra's body into the graph must have told them about you."
"What now?"
The letter detailed the things the Guerras would do to me if they catch me. They stated that they knew I was the one who killed Father Guerra, and that I'd suffer in kind for the insult affronted to their family.
"It's not an optimal situation. They feel slighted because you are a woman."
"And a woman can't possibly kill a man, you mean?" I ask sarcastically. Enzo grimly nods.
"You need protection, Lina. Both you and Claudia need protection."
"We have you, right?"
Enzo shakes his head. "It won't be enough. You need someone who will protect you at all times; and someone that they can't cross. As much as it pains me to say... I'm stretched too thin. Between running the famiglia and our businesses, there's also an ongoing conflict with other organizations."
"We could just stay here. Hide here." I add, trying to convince him we can be safe here.
"And if they attack? Who is to say they won't attack when I'm called away to deal with something? It could happen."
"Then what can I do?" I'm trying very hard to hold back the tears. What Enzo is saying... does that mean that we'll never be safe? That we will have to always look over ou
r shoulders? I can't have that for Claudia... even Sacre Coeur is better than that. But the convent is no longer safe now.
"Get married." Enzo drops the bomb on me. My mouth hangs open in shock. Marriage? But who... no one would have me.
"Marriage?"
"Yes. You could get married to a powerful enough man that would ensure both your safety and that of your daughter."
"But... Enzo, surely you know that no one will have me. I'm damaged goods." I drop my volume at the last words, ashamed of myself.
"Don't say that. Lina... never say that again. You are not damaged goods." He reprimands, and I turn my head, not wanting to see his reaction.
"Who will have me, Enzo?"
"Someone will. In fact, just a few days ago he came over to see me regarding an alliance. He would never say no to you." Enzo says confidently, but I can't help but be skeptical. Surely once that man realizes who I am... and that I have a daughter, he will no doubt back down.
"Who is it?" I ask. Before Enzo even tells me his name, I make a vow to myself. Whoever it is, as long as he accepts me and my daughter, I will also accept him, and do my duty as a wife.
Enzo purses his lips. "Marcello Lastra."
My eyes widen and I gasp when I hear the name.
"Sisi's brother?" Enzo nods.
"If the situation wasn't this dire, I would have never given you to him. Trust me on this, Lina. But right now, I fear he might be our only chance."
The good-looking man...
"Do you have anything against him?" I ask, almost hesitantly. Appearance wise, Marcello Lastra was handsome, maybe even too handsome.
"There's something off with him... I can't put my finger on it. He asked for your hand before, you know. I never approved of him, but father was ready to marry you off."
"What?" I'm shocked at that piece of information. "Marcello asked to marry me? When?"
"A little while before the incident." Enzo says, looking extremely uncomfortable bringing that up. "Of course, it never came to pass because of that. After, his father died and Marcello just disappeared."
"I didn't know that." I add slowly, trying to digest this. Marcello had wanted to marry me? A foreign feeling of warmth was developing in my stomach. Maybe... maybe not all is lost. Just thinking about that glimpse I'd had of him, and how much I'd liked him...
"I'll marry him." I say, maybe too fast. "For Claudia." I amend. And for me.
Enzo sighs. "I really didn't want it to come down to this. But... I'll call him. Have him come for a meeting."
A WHILE LATER, WHEN Enzo informed me that Marcello would come for a meeting tomorrow, I barely kept a straight face. I nodded, thanked him, and ran to my room.
I have to admit to myself that I'm entirely too giddy at the prospect of meeting him in the flesh... talking to him. It will be like a scene from my dreams. He'll even kiss me...
My hand goes to my lips, and I sigh. I don't want to think about what comes after kissing. Not now, when I am so happy at the idea of marrying someone—a handsome someone.
But what if he doesn't like me? The thought suddenly makes me pause. What if... Yeah, he wanted to marry me, but that was over a decade ago? I was an untouched young woman back then. Now... I come with baggage; emotional and physical. I'll just have to be extremely honest from the offset. Let him know everything about me. Then, he can decide if he wants to marry me or not. Decision made; I already feel a little lighter. I'm still worried that he will not want me, maybe because I want him so much. I know I am projecting as I don't know the guy. But my attraction to him had been so sudden and so surprising that it had left a mark on me. Then, I'd used all the information I had on him to create this ideal person who would sometimes visit me in my dreams.
I groan out loud, internally cringing at my behavior. I need to stop. Whatever happens, happens. I need to worry about my daughter, not about some man that I don't even know.
Claudia seems to like that we've left Sacre Coeur, she keeps on raving about all the things in the house she's never seen before—especially the technological stuff. When Lucca had shown her his toys, she'd been in awe. I felt bad because I'd never been able to give her something like that. But there is still time, right?
The only thing that seems to be a problem is the fact that Claudia is missing Sisi something fierce. Then the thought occurs to me. What if I can convince her brother to get her out of there too? She could live with us... if he accepts me, that is.
I don't think Sisi's ever wanted to be a nun; she certainly doesn't have an inclination for it. But she's never known anything else. Raised by nuns since birth, that's all she's ever known. I've noticed multiple times how she tries to convince herself that taking her vows is what she's meant to be doing, because deep down she doesn't dare hope that there can be anything else for her. With everything that's happened in the last week, I hope I can put in a word for her. I just can't let her waste away at Sacre Coeur.
The next morning, I head early to the kitchen for a cup of tea. My nerves are killing me. I'd like to think that everyone in my position—with danger looming over our head—would be this anxious. I settle on Valerian for my nerves. I'm at the kitchen table, enjoying the tea, when a woman saunters in, her makeup smudged all over her face, her clothes in disarray.
"And you are?" She stops in her tracks at the sight of me, her eyes narrowing. I'm about to answer, but she just goes ahead with her tirade.
"I can't believe this! He's now bringing his whores home." She plants herself in front of me and studies me from head to toe. Her lips curl in disgust. "It seems his type changed too." She tips my head with her finger.
"You got it wrong." I move out of her reach. "I'm Enzo's sister," I try to explain, although it's odd that she wouldn't recognize me. We'd met a few times in the past. "Catalina."
She frowns for a second before she laughs. "That's simply great! He's into incest now? I should have realized." She mumbles some more before stumbling out of the kitchen, throwing her shoes around on her way out.
Good Lord, how is that Enzo's wife? And where was she that she came home looking like that? When Enzo comes down, a while later, I mention what happened, but he just shakes his head.
"Don't mind her. She's not well." He grimly adds.
"She thought I was..." I blush, and Enzo quickly picks up on that.
"I can imagine what she thought. Don't listen to her. If possible, ignore her. That's what I usually do." He shrugs, going to the counter and pouring himself a cup of coffee.
"She didn't recognize me." I muse more to myself.
"Doesn't surprise me." Enzo adds with a scoff before collecting himself. "She's not well... mentally."
"Oh." I drop the subject, realizing it's one that bothers Enzo. I'll just do my best to avoid Allegra in the future.
"Marcello will come by around noon." He brings his coffee at the table and joins me. "I'll talk to him first, then you two can meet." Enzo lays out the plan and I just nod, the anxiety I'd felt before returning full force.
"Lina," Enzo puts his hand on top of mine. "We'll get through this, I promise you. No one is going to harm you, or Claudia."
I nod. I hope so, too.
IT'S HOURS LATER THAT I keep pacing around my room, waiting for Enzo to be done with his meeting. The cook, Melissa, had offered to take both Claudia and Lucca shopping. Since this is all new to Claudia, I'd agreed, especially when she'd assured me they would be accompanied by several bodyguards.
My palms are sweaty, and when a maid comes to let me know Enzo's called for me, I try to compose myself to the best of my abilities. I go down the stairs and see Enzo with a cigarette in his mouth. He nods his head towards his office.
"How did it go?" I whisper.
"He agreed, but only after he talks to you. He said he wants to get your express consent."
The moment I hear that it's like a weight has been lifted off my chest.
"Really?" My hopeful tone must be too obvious, because Enzo grimaces.
"I don't lik
e this." He reiterates. "But it's the only solution to our problems." He takes a deep drag of his cigarette. "Go on. Settle his mind, and we'll convene to discuss the details."
Leaving Enzo behind, I head towards his office. With a deep breath, I make the courage and knock on the door before opening it.
Marcello is with his back towards the door, sitting leisurely on a chair.
"Hello." I greet him tentatively.
He slowly turns around and his eyes move over my form. I suddenly feel self-conscious. I don't have that many clothes, needing nothing special during my time at Sacre Coeur. For this meeting, I'd put on my best Sunday dress. It's a rather simple blue gown that reaches my ankles. It cinches at the waist, so it gives me a little definition. I spread my hands down my dress, trying to get rid of the moisture off my palms.
Marcello stands up and motions me towards the chair opposite him. I take a step forward and extend my hand in greeting. He gives it a passing glance but doesn't reciprocate, instead his eyes are fixed on my face. I feel a little foolish with my hand extended like that, so I immediately pretend I'm smoothing over my dress before sitting down. Maybe he doesn't like what he's seeing... why is he not saying anything?
"Catalina." He nods at me and takes a seat.
"My brother must have told you the circumstances." I start, trying to seem unaffected by him. He looks just as good as when I'd seen him before... even better from up close. His eyes are a warm whiskey color. I hadn't noticed that last time. Dressed in a gray suit, he looks smart and business-like. Even his hair is groomed, no longer messy. I'm once again wondering what he must see when he's looking at me. Maybe I should have worn some makeup. But since I've never really worn any, I don't know how to apply it.
"He has." He replies, his voice sending shivers down my spine. There's a husky quality to his tone that makes me want to ask more questions just so he'd keep on talking.
He leans back in his seat, still observing me. I try awfully hard not to fidget under his scrutinizing gaze.
"You're agreeable to the match?" He asks me and I immediately nod.
"Yes." But then a pang of guilt assaults me. He probably doesn't know... "But first, I have to tell you something. You can decide if you still want to marry me after." I sneak a glance at him, and he has a bored expression on. He casually nods and I take a deep breath.
Morally Blasphemous (Morally Questionable Book 2) Page 8