by Karen Malley
“It’s gorgeous, but it’s huge.” Kathryn protested as Adam singled out the tree.
“It’s the best one here. It will be perfect.” Adam swung the axe as if it was a part of him. With smooth clean strokes, he felled the tree and loaded it into the back of his truck. After he closed the tailgate, he turned around, scooped a handful of snow, and lobbed it straight at Kathryn.
She froze for a moment, stunned, but quickly retaliated, and ducked behind a row of trees.
Adam chased after her, only to get a face-full of snow thrown at him. Kathryn ran around the trees to the left, and Adam dashed to the right. Soon, they both jumped out from their hiding spots and ran right into each other. Toppling into the snow, Kathryn couldn’t stop laughing. Adam rolled onto the ground next to her.
“You know what we do now, don’t you?” Adam asked.
“Get up and get back in the truck?”
“Of course not. First…” Adam moved his arms and legs in the snow.
“Snow angels!” Kathryn exclaimed. She made her own, and stood to admire it.
When she checked out Adam’s, she couldn’t suppress a laugh. “A bit lopsided, don’t you think?”
“Nonsense.” Adam answered. “It’s the perfect angel. Just like me.”
“Ha! Perfect angels don’t throw snowballs at innocent young ladies.”
“Innocent? I believe I still have snow dripping down my neck, young lady!” Adam laughed.
Kathryn blew on her hands. “My fingers are numb.”
“Ok, time for a truce. Let’s go back to the farm house and I’ll buy you the world’s best hot chocolate.”
“It’s a deal.”
They drove back to pay for the tree and two cups of hot chocolate from the farmer’s kids.
On their way back in the truck, the hot chocolate cup warming her hands, Kathryn stole a glance at Adam. “How is it that a guy like you isn’t already spoken for?”
“Well, I almost was. I’ll never forget Betsy, the first love of my life. I picked her the most beautiful flower I could find. She smiled at me and broke my heart by letting Billy Hollman push her on the swings.”
Kathryn giggled. “How old were you?”
“I was ten and she was nine. But she would’ve been perfect for me. Honestly, though, I dated a couple girls in college and law school, but no one seriously until...” He stopped suddenly.
Kathryn didn’t miss the impact of what he said. “Law school? But…”
Adam interrupted. “I don’t want to go into it right now. It’s kind of a painful topic.”
“I didn’t want to talk about my painful topic either, but you found out anyway.”
Adam was silent for a long while. He kept his gaze on the road, but soon began to share the story.
“Three years ago, I was working at one of the most prestigious law firms in Buffalo. I graduated law school with honors and was on track to becoming partner. I thought I was pretty hot stuff. I was even engaged to be married to the daughter of one of the senior partners. Gina and I dated for over a year, and I thought everything was perfect. Granted, I was working all the time, but the more hours you could bill for the firm, the more they favored you.
“I was living on the praises of my senior attorneys. Gina loved it too. I’m sure she would’ve liked to spend more time with me, but I always told her once I made partner, I’d have more time for her.”
Kathryn shifted uncomfortably. Adam’s thought process sounded a little too much like her own. How much time did she spend at work, missing time with Robert and his family? Still, it was different. It wasn’t for the money. She was trying to help people.
“I suspected something wasn’t right at the firm. I soon realized that the partners were involved in some unscrupulous dealings. They told me if I knew what was good for me, I would keep my mouth shut, and soon I would be able to get a piece of the action. Even though I wanted to make partner more than anything, I couldn’t do it. I went to the authorities, but the firm’s connections within the legal system were so deep, I was the one accused of wrongdoing. I was fired, disbarred, and I haven’t worked in law since.”
“Oh, Adam. I’m sorry.”
Adam pulled off the road into the parking lot of a convenience store. “Gina took it hard, but I thought we would make it through. It turns out I was wrong.” He let out a big sigh. “On our wedding day, she never showed up to the church. Everyone was there waiting, but she never came.”
Kathryn shook her head in disbelief. She couldn’t imagine the pain Adam must’ve felt, the embarrassment of standing in front of all his friends and family, waiting for his bride.
“It’s OK. You don’t need to say anything,” Adam told her. “It’s all been said before. I guess I’m like you. I don’t need another person pitying me.”
Kathryn reached over and put her hand on his. His fingers closed around hers. Kathryn leaned back against the seat, savoring the feel of her hand in his. She turned toward him. “That’s why you went off to become a missionary?”
Adam nodded. “Yeah, crazy, huh? I grew up in the church, but I had lost touch with that part of my life while I was working at the firm. Money and power and prestige were more important to me than what God wanted. I guess I wanted to make up for lost time by running off to the mission field. What I was doing was running away from my problems.”
“Wow. I never would’ve imagined any of that. I thought you always had things figured out.”
Adam laughed. “Hardly. I still don’t, but at least I’m finally pointed in the right direction.”
“Thanks for telling me.”
“Now we know each other’s past. We’re even.” Adam said.
Kathryn’s stomach twisted. What would Adam think if she told him what she’d done? Could she tell him? She wrestled with the decision.
Adam put his hands on the steering wheel, and turned the car back onto the road. “We have a Christmas tree to set up. Let’s get moving.”
Back at Kathryn’s house, she searched the basement for the tree stand, while Adam struggled to get the tree through the front door. After fighting with the foliage for several minutes, Adam was victorious, and it stood straight and proud in the stand.
Kathryn handed him the meager strands of lights she scrounged from the basement.
She and Adam wound them around the tree, but they only made it halfway up. Kathryn shook her head as Adam rearranged the lights, balancing on a kitchen chair to reach the top. He hopped down off the chair and stood back, hands on his hips, surveying his work. “Not too bad.”
“Sure, as long as no one looks at the back.”
“Who needs lights on the back? At least they reach the top in the front. Now we need some decorations.”
Kathryn presented the box of red balls and assorted ornaments she’d collected over the years. “It’s not much, but I’ve never had a tree like this before.”
They put the ornaments on the tree.
Kathryn laughed. “It does look ridiculous, doesn’t it? I told you!”
“Not to worry,” Adam said. “Do you have any construction paper, scissors, or popcorn?” Kathryn searched the house and brought him a stack of all he requested. Soon they were stringing popcorn garland, making paper chains, and cutting snowflakes. By the time they were done, it was after midnight, but the tree was covered.
“Charlie Brown would be proud.” Adam was gleeful. “The tree looks as if it’s been attacked by a swarm of overly enthusiastic elementary school kids!”
They were both overcome with laughter.
“It’s tacky, but I love it!” Kathryn gushed. “But you better get out of here, or I’ll be blowing something up at work tomorrow.”
“True, and I’m liable to shoot someone with a nail gun. I never realized how dangerous our jobs could be on too little sleep.”
Kathryn walked Adam to the door, not sure what to expect, not even sure what she wanted to happen. “Thank you for tonight. I was dreading Christmas without Robert, but now I can
tell it will be OK. I’ll laugh every time I see this tree.”
Adam pulled her into his arms. He kissed the top of her head, and went out to his truck which was now covered in snow.
Kathryn stared after him, feeling as if a part of her walked out with him.
16
Thursday, Adam got a call from Mark. “How are you feeling, Pastor?”
“Getting better each day, my friend, but I didn’t call to talk about me. Do you have some time to talk? Could you stop by the church after work today?”
Later that evening, Adam found himself in Mark’s office.
“Adam, thanks for coming. I wanted to talk to you in private.” Mark took a drink of water before continuing.
Adam couldn’t help feeling like the wayward student sitting in the principal’s office. He waited for the lecture he was afraid would be coming.
“Anne talked with Katie for a long time last night. We’re both pleased to with the progress she’s made the last couple of months. Although she still works entirely too much, she’s no longer burning the candle at both ends. She’s been bonding more with the children, which is fantastic. She’s also confiding more in Anne.”
Adam sensed where this was going.
“That brings me to you. As your brother in Christ, and as your pastor, may I speak frankly?” Adam nodded. “Katie, er, Kathryn told Anne of your adventure the other night. If I didn’t know you two, I would say it sounds like the beginnings of a beautiful relationship. But Adam, Kathryn is a complicated woman, and not at all sure of where she stands with God. We’ve been praying for her for years, but she hasn’t yet made that leap of faith.
“As a believer, you can’t be romantically involved with someone who is not. I’m not sure how you both ended up spending the night here at our house, although Anne and I deeply appreciate your help that evening, but it seems the two of you must’ve hit it off well, to be picking out a Christmas tree together. Kathryn has been through too much loss, and I don’t want her hurt again. I’m afraid that would drive her away from God.” He paused, waiting for Adam to respond.
“Mark, I appreciate your concern, both for me, and for Kathryn. There’s a little more to the story, though.” Adam proceeded to tell Mark his history with Kathryn, from the meeting in the hospital and the clear direction of God to pray for her, to the supposedly chance meetings in the grocery store, the flat tire, and the initially accidental, then purposeful meetings in the coffee shop. “I believe God has directed me to this town, and to Kathryn, but for what purpose, I don’t know.”
Mark took off his brother-in-law hat and assumed his pastoral role. “When you aren’t sure what God’s intentions for a situation are, the one thing you can count on is his word. ‘Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. 2 Corinthians 6:14.’ While God may have a purpose for you in Kathryn’s life, please be careful. Not only for her sake, but for your own.”
Adam left Mark’s office chided, but also grateful that God provided him with the guidance he needed. He’d need to ignore the growing attraction and focus on being the friend that Kathryn needed. After all, she recently lost her husband. She wasn’t interested in getting in a relationship at this point, anyway.
~*~
Saturday morning, Kathryn sat at her kitchen table playing with her phone. She scrolled back to the calls from Tuesday. There it was: Adam’s number staring her in the face, as if daring her to call. Everything was going so well. Why shouldn’t she call him? A nagging thought popped into her mind. Why hadn’t he called? No, this was stupid. No games. Time to call.
Anne’s voice echoed in her head. “Robert’s only been gone since July. Be careful about getting involved with anyone else so soon. You need to find out the person God wants you to be before you get involved again.” That was only natural for her to say because she was Robert’s sister, right? Of course, Anne wouldn’t think she should be involved with someone else.
Then again, what did Kathryn know about dating anyway? She’d been with Robert her whole adult life. Uggh. Why did it need to be so complicated? What was wrong with having a friend who happened to be a male? A kind, sensitive, funny, gorgeous male...
She chided herself for even having this internal argument. This was not like her at all. As if to prove to that there was nothing wrong with the relationship, she pressed the send button, and immediately panicked about what to say when he picked up.
“Hi, Kathryn. How’s the tree holding up? Did you remember to water it?”
Kathryn immediately relaxed as they fell into easy conversation.
“What are you doing this weekend?” she asked.
“It’s time for me to do some Christmas shopping. I’ll be heading to Buffalo for the holidays, and next weekend is the last weekend before Christmas. I’d hate to be stuck in that mob scene. I’m sure it’s crazy enough now, but every day I wait, I’m sure it will get worse.”
“Would you like some company? I’ve been living in this town for long enough now that I know some of the stores off the beaten path. It’s not like we have a mall nearby. The construction on that is taking forever,” she teased. “Besides, I’m not finished with my list.” Kathryn was amazed at how easy it was to suggest.
Adam agreed to pick her up in an hour.
~*~
As Adam drove over to her place, he questioned himself. Should he even be doing this? How would he know if he was crossing a line? Just because he was trying to douse his growing attraction for her didn’t mean she felt anything for him. For all he knew, she just wanted a friend.
From what Mark said the other night, she didn’t do much socially outside of spending time with him and Anne. It could be that she wanted someone to spend time with. Yes, that made sense. She needed to go shopping for Mark and Anne and the kids and wouldn’t want to shop with Anne to do that.
By the time Adam reached Kathryn’s house, he’d convinced himself that this was nothing more than two friends going shopping together. Then she opened the door, looking incredibly cute, and all his logic went out the window.
“Hello, beautiful,” he greeted her. “Ready to help me spend my money? Remember, though, I’m only a construction worker. There’s not as much there to spend as there used to be.”
Kathryn laughed. “You’re a far cry from ‘only a construction worker.’ Don’t worry; I’m an expert in finding bargains.”
They set out for the local toy store to pick out presents for Ben, Emma, and Adam’s nephews.
When Adam found puppets, he grabbed one and proceeded to put on his own impromptu puppet show.
Kathryn joined in, and they soon found themselves the center of attention.
Several children stopped to watch, and a few harried shoppers stared at them.
Soon Adam and Kathryn collapsed in the aisle with laughter.
“Adam, you make me feel like a kid again,” Kathryn gasped.
They managed to pick out presents for the kids without any additional incidents. Several stores later, they crossed off Anne, Mark, Kathryn’s mom, and Adam’s family off their lists.
“We’re in good shape,” Kathryn said. “Is there anyone else you need to shop for?”
“There’s an elderly couple across the hall from me. They’re such sweet people. I’d love to get something for them, but I don’t know what.”
Kathryn took charge. “Tell me a little bit about them, and I’ll help you out.”
An hour later, armed with a comfy sweater for Mr. Frederick and a lovely tin with an assortment of teas for Mrs. Frederick, they decided to call it quits.
“I’m starving,” Adam declared. “Is there anywhere around here to get something to eat?”
“There’s a chicken place ahead, but it’s only take-out,” Kathryn told him.
“How would you like to meet the Fredericks?” Adam asked. “My place isn’t too far from here, and I can ask if they’re interested in some take-out too.” Adam wouldn’t bring Kathryn back to his apartment alone. His attraction for her was growing too dee
p, and if left alone with her…well, there would be no way he would be able to continue the friendship façade.
“Sure, why don’t you give them a call?”
Fifteen minutes later, take-out bags spread between them, Kathryn and Adam were seated around the Frederick’s tiny formica kitchen table. It was like going back in time. From the plastic-covered flowered couch to the wooden console TV, the apartment never left the 70’s. They spent the evening in lively conversation, with the Fredericks telling stories of their youth, and Adam telling stories of his adventures in Africa.
“It was like another world there,” he reminisced. “The people had nothing, but they were giving. When we would visit in their huts, they always insisted we have a seat, even if they only had one chair to their name. They would share their food with us when they didn’t have much left for themselves. I finally learned some humility.”
“Sounds like that made it easier to take a construction job after working as an attorney,” Kathryn said.
“True. It put a lot of things in perspective.”
“Adam, dear, do you have any pictures of the children you worked with there?” Mrs. Frederick asked.
“I do, but I’ve never taken them off my camera. I could show you those if you’d like. Give me a few minutes. I think it’s still packed in one of the boxes in my closet.” He disappeared out the door, leaving Kathryn with the Fredericks.
She busied herself gathering the bags and paper plates from their dinner.
“Leave that now, dear, and sit and talk with me,” Mrs. Frederick instructed. She shuffled to the couch and patted the seat next to her for Kathryn.
Mr. Frederick sank into the recliner and closed his eyes.
“Tell me, dear. Are you happy?”
“Well, sure. I suppose so.”
“No, I mean truly happy. Is there joy in your life? I see the way you look at our dear neighbor, but romance is not the path to true joy. How is the rest of your life?”
Something about this woman made Kathryn want to be brutally honest with her. “I lost my husband over the summer. I miss him. A lot, sometimes. But we weren’t as close as you and Mr. Frederick. He was a wonderful man, better than I deserved. That’s my biggest regret. I was never the wife I should have been.” She paused to gather her thoughts. “Adam has been a good friend to me the past few months. He’s a bright spot in my life. The rest of my life is consumed by work. I work for a pharmaceutical company on a project I hope will help people. I’m excited about this drug that we’re working on, and I should receive a promotion soon.”