by Karen Malley
She allowed him to take it.
“I can never make up for all I took from you, but I needed to tell you how sorry I am.” His expression was miserable.
Kathryn couldn’t help being moved with compassion. “I still don’t understand what brought you back here, though.”
“I got laid off, four years before my pension would’ve kicked in. I called my sister, your Aunt Liz, to ask her advice. She always had a good head on her shoulders.” Roger smiled. “She’s something else, that sister of mine. She convinced me to come back here and move in with her. Ever since Bill died a couple years ago, the house has gotten to be a bit much for her. She’s only sixty, but her body seems a lot older because of the Multiple Sclerosis. She doesn’t get around well anymore, and she’s making use of my help. I think she might be getting the better end of the deal.”
“I always liked Aunt Liz. I’m sorry she’s having a rough time,” Kathryn said.
“Oh, she’d have my hide if she knew I gave you that impression. Believe me, she’s tough,” Roger said. “Especially on the inside. That woman has a fast track to God. She got me back in touch with Him. He and I weren’t on speaking terms for a while. Anyway, I’ve got my God relationship back where it needs to be, I’m taking care of my sister, and I’ve managed to find a decent job again. God convinced me it was time to make right the wrongs I committed all those years ago. I had a long talk with your mother, and now it’s time to seek your forgiveness.”
Kathryn was quiet for a while. “God forgives everyone, right?”
“That’s what the Bible says,” Roger said.
“Even if we get caught up in something that hurts other people?”
“Yes,” Roger said. “I obviously hurt you and your mother, but God forgave me. That doesn’t always mean the people you hurt will forgive you, but God always will.”
Kathryn leaned back against her chair. “It all seems complicated.”
Roger scrutinized her face. “It seems we’re talking about something more here.”
Kathryn pushed the hair back from her eyes. “I’ve had a lot on my mind lately. Having you here is one more crazy thing that’s happened to me this past year.”
“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to cause you any added stress.”
Kathryn pulled her hand away. “I’m not sure you can make up for missing out on my entire life just because you decided to help your sister.”
Roger’s face fell. “No, of course not. I can never make up for what I did to you and your mother. I’ll understand if you never want to see me again. Would it be best if I left?”
Kathryn shook her head. “No. I waited for you to come back for years. I’m not ready for you to leave again.”
Roger exhaled loudly. “Can you fill me in a little? I have what, twenty-five years to catch up on? Your mom told me you’ve turned into a wonderful young woman, but she didn’t give me any details. She told me I needed to talk to you myself.”
Kathryn frowned. “There’s a lot to tell. Maybe we should get something from the counter first.”
“Good idea.”
After grabbing some coffee and sandwiches, the two went back to the table.
Kathryn took a bite of her sandwich, a swig of coffee, and dove in. She told him about high school, meeting Robert, and studying chemistry in college. When she got to grad school, she hesitated. She wanted to share with someone the pain of what she experienced during those years. It was as if the confessions of her father gave her the courage to make confessions of her own. She looked into those eyes, the eyes she’d been longing to see for years, and couldn’t go through with it. She glossed over grad school and talked about the excitement of her first job and the initial thrill of doing research. When she was caught up to this past year, she faltered.
“This past summer, I lost Robert in a car crash.”
Her father stopped, about to take a bite of his sandwich, his mouth hanging open. “I’m so sorry. How are you doing?”
“Some days are better than others, Dad, I won’t lie to you. He was a good man, and I miss him every day. Believe it or not, the story gets even more complicated. Shortly after Robert died, I met a man I spent a lot of time with. He became special to me, but over Christmas he got back together with his ex-fiancée. The same day, I found out I was losing my job. After that, I learned I can transfer to Boston, but that’s another story entirely. The day that all happened, I found God.”
Her dad stared at her. “What a year. And now I’m back, giving you yet one more thing to stress over. I’m glad you worked things out with God, though.”
“Yeah, apparently He’s been trying to get my attention for a while. I finally noticed.”
“Are you moving to Boston?” Roger asked.
“It seems like it,” Kathryn said, with a big sigh.
“I was hoping to re-connect, to become a small part of your life again, but it will be a little harder if you’re moving to Boston. Still, if you’ll let me, I would love to visit sometime. When do you move?” Roger asked.
“I’m supposed to go in three weeks, but the whole idea of it makes my stomach hurt. I’m still praying God will make a way for me to stay here. I’m running out of time, though. I’ve got to get the house ready to go on the market and find a place to stay.” She pushed away her plate and buried her face in her hands, exasperated by the enormity of it all. After a moment, she lifted her eyes. “Dad?”
“Yes?”
“I do forgive you. You made a lousy decision, and Mom and I paid for it, but it took a lot of guts for you to come back and ask for forgiveness.”
Roger’s eyes grew moist. “Thank you, Katie-girl. I’m proud of the woman you’ve become, in spite of my failures.”
“I still can’t believe I’m sitting here eating with you. I dreamed you would come back for years, and eventually I gave up hope. Now you’re back and I need to move.”
“It doesn’t seem right, does it? I plan to stay in Pennsylvania now. That’s what your Aunt Liz needs,” Roger said.
~*~
Kathryn went home amazed God brought her father back into her life. She lit a fire in the fireplace and sat, basking in the warm glow of the flames, stroking Bandit, and praying. “God, thank You for giving me the strength to forgive my dad. It seems like a step in the right direction. I can tell You are working in my heart and trying to change me. I can’t help it—I’ve lived on my own terms for a long time. Without my dad around, I needed to grow up fast. God, please help me decide what to do. I don’t want to move to Boston, but what choice do I have?”
Opening her eyes, Kathryn slid her phone from her purse and scrolled through her emails. A message from Pine Springs Community College caught her eye.
She opened the message. “Bandit—it says they want me to come in for an interview! Could this be my ticket to staying here?” Her face fell. “I don’t know why I am doing this—I can’t afford this job. Still, it can’t hurt to try it out, right?” She closed her email and scrolled through her contacts.
“Sarah, hi!” Kathryn gushed. “You’ll never guess—I got invited for an interview at the college!”
“Oh, Kathryn. That’s wonderful. They’ll love you.”
“But I can’t afford to take such a big pay cut. And what about insurance?”
“Nonsense, girl. If this is what God has for you, He’ll work it all out.”
After hanging up with Sarah, Kathryn replied to the message and accepted the interview.
31
Adam sat staring at the phone in his hands. Should he call her? He thought back to Mark’s warning. “Don’t be yoked with unbelievers.” He knew that, but he couldn’t get Kathryn out of his head. Besides—she’d been at church the last two Sundays. That counted for something, didn’t it? Maybe she was coming around. Still, that didn’t mean she wanted to be with him.
He slumped back in his chair. “God, what am I doing here? I’m away from my family, doing construction work with a bunch of guys who don’t want me around, a
nd the only person I want to see no longer has any interest in me. OK, that’s not fair. I love the Bible study and the people at Faith Community. Thank You for the blessing of them in my life.” He made up his mind. He dialed the phone. “Hey, Derek. It’s Adam. Are you busy tonight?”
“No, man, what’s up?”
“Do you want to grab some dinner? I could use a level-headed friend to talk to.”
“Thanks, I’m flattered. Not sure I qualify, but I’m up for eating. How about Welligan’s on Fifth Street? They have awesome wings.”
“Dude, you need to understand I’m from Buffalo. These Pennsylvania wings pale in comparison.”
“Yeah, OK, wing snob.”
“Well, theirs are better than some other sorry excuses for wings I’ve eaten around here. Meet you at 6:00?”
“Sounds good.”
Adam’s dark mood lifted. It would help to hash things out with someone other than the brother-in-law of the woman he couldn’t get out of his head.
Heading into Welligan’s, he spotted Derek sprawled out at a table in the center of the restaurant.
Derek stood and grabbed his hand as he approached. “Adam, good to see you, buddy. What’s on your mind?”
Adam laughed. “You get right to the point, don’t you?”
Derek smiled. “Of course. I don’t often get called on to give advice.”
“You should. You seem to have everything all together.”
Derek raised his eyebrows. “You must be joking. I struggle every day trying to figure out God’s plan for me.”
This time Adam raised his eyebrows. “Are you kidding me? You have such an amazing opportunity. I love every minute I’ve spent at the Kids of Hope Club. It’s awesome you get paid to work there.”
Derek stirred his drink with his straw. “You’re right. I’m blessed by my work. That’s why it’s so hard for me to decide whether I should go back to China.” He leaned back in his chair. “Anyway, enough about me. You didn’t call me to listen to my struggles. What’s going on with you?”
Adam rubbed his chin. “It’s Kathryn. I think about her all the time.”
“Call her up, man. What’s the problem?” Derek asked.
“She doesn’t want to hear from me. Before Christmas, everything was great. Even New Year’s, she texted me. Since we’ve been back, though, things are different. The other night she was out on a date with some guy.”
Derek leaned forward. “Are you sure it was a date?”
Adam laughed. “Get this. The guy came up to me when we were leaving and told me they were friends from cooking class, and she was ‘testing the waters again.’”
“Why on earth did he do that?”
“Apparently, he was under the impression the Fredericks and I were her husband’s family.”
“Whoa, that’s weird. But he said they were friends. What’s the big deal?”
“I didn’t even know she was in a cooking class,”
“Why should you?”
“She tells me everything.” Adam gave a snort. “Well, she used to, anyway.”
Derek raised his eyebrows. “Isn’t this the woman who never mentioned she was widowed?”
“True, but she explained that.”
“What does Mark say? It’s his sister-in-law, right?”
“Yeah. Don’t be yoked with unbelievers. But that’s just it. She’s going to church again. That must mean something, right?”
Derek sipped his drink. “That’s encouraging. What do you think the Lord is telling you?”
Adam paused. “He’s been quiet on the Kathryn front lately.”
“What has He told you in the past?”
“I should pray for her.”
“Are you?”
“Off and on.”
“Well, there’s your answer.” Derek said. “Keep praying.”
“You’re right. I told you, you were level-headed.” Adam said.
“True, I am quite the smart one,” Derek laughed. “What is it about this woman that has you tied up in knots?”
“I’ve never met anyone like her before. She’s brilliant, and she’s gorgeous, but she doesn’t seem to realize it. She lights up the room when she walks in. She has a passion for life.” He smiled. “She’s so much fun. I can’t imagine what she’d be like if she channeled all the energy she puts into her work into something for God. She could be incredible. When I’m with her, I like who I become…”
“Whoa, OK, man. I get it. You’re smitten.”
Adam’s cheeks grew warm. “Sorry—I got a little carried away there. I think about her all the time.”
“I can tell,” Derek said. “How’s everything else going? Is work any better?”
“Unfortunately, no. The job is OK, I guess, but I can’t envision myself doing it long-term. It was fine in Africa when everyone was grateful for what we were doing, but I’m not doing anything for God with this job. I’m building a mall, for crying out loud.”
“Every job can be done for God with the right attitude. I’m sure you’re making an impression on the other guys.”
“Not likely. None of them wants anything to do with God. Or with me, for that matter. They were interested in Gina, though.”
“I’ll bet,” Derek laughed. “How come you never introduced her to me?”
Adam laughed. “Sure, that would’ve been smart. I don’t think the director of a non-profit would meet her standards.”
Derek stuck out his lower lip in an exaggerated pout. “Ahh, I guess it’s just as well. But since Kathryn’s no longer interested in you, maybe you could introduce us.”
Adam glared at him. “Don’t even go there.”
Derek burst out laughing. “I’m kidding, man. Seriously, though, point her out to me in church. I would like to meet her.”
Adam frowned. “Yeah, how would that go? ‘Hey, Kathryn. I realize you don’t want to talk to me anymore, but I wanted you to meet my friend Derek…’”
Derek shrugged. “Well, maybe someday.”
Adam studied his menu, made up his mind, and set it back on the table. “I’m still struggling with why God called me to this town.”
“Patience, my friend. In God’s timing, He’ll reveal it to you.”
“Take your own advice when it comes to China.” “Good point, my friend, good point. Now let’s get to the real reason why we’re here. Time for some wings.”
32
Kathryn stood in the middle of the living room, surrounded by empty boxes. Anne knelt by the bookcase, filling the box to her right. Ben and Emma chased Bandit around in circles, giggling all the while.
“Do you want to take all of these books?” Anne asked.
Kathryn glanced over. “Yes…no...maybe. I have no idea what I’m doing.”
Anne got up and sat on the sofa. She patted the seat next to her. “Come here. Let’s talk.”
Kathryn took a seat next to Anne. “Time for some words of wisdom?”
“Perhaps. What’s going on here? Are you, or are you not moving?”
“What do you mean? I need to move. There’s a job waiting for me in Boston on Monday.”
“Then why haven’t you packed or listed the house?” Anne asked.
Kathryn’s lip trembled. “Because if I do, that makes this all real.”
Anne put her arm around Kathryn’s shoulders. “Oh, honey. I understand this is hard for you, and Lord knows, we don’t want you to go. But if God’s calling you to go, you have to go.” She pulled back and cocked her head at Kathryn. “You do think this is God’s will for you, don’t you?”
Kathryn shrank under her gaze. “It must be, right? He wouldn’t have given me the job if I wasn’t supposed to take it.”
Anne let out an exasperated sigh. “Katie—that’s not the way things work. We need to be obedient to God’s leading. Are you taking this job because you feel as though you can do God’s work at this company, or because you’re afraid of running into Adam around here? If it’s anything but the first option, you bette
r get on your knees, because you’re heading for a heap of heartache.”
Kathryn hung her head, abashed. “Anne, I realize it’s hard for you to understand, but there are a lot of reasons for me to take this job. I like what I do, and I’m good at it. Maybe God is testing me to see if I’ll be obedient to go there even when I don’t want to. And you’re right. I can’t keep running into Adam. Every time, it’s like a knife in my heart. I keep thinking about how he listened to me, how he talked to me about God, how he always seems to be in need of a haircut…”
Anne laughed. “That much is true. Still, it suits him.”
Kathryn smiled. “Those curls. I’d love to run my fingers through them.” She blinked, suddenly full of emotion. “See what I mean? I can’t keep thinking about him like that when his heart is somewhere else. Besides, he’s too good for me.”
Anne scolded. “Nonsense. Don’t you ever believe that. You’re a child of God, and an amazing catch for any man. Robert was proud to call you his wife.”
Kathryn dabbed at her eyes with her sleeve. “Robert was too good for me too.”
“Oh, honey. Come here.” Anne gathered her into her arms.
“Anne. There’s so much to do, and I can’t even figure out where to start! I’m driving up in two days.”
“You don’t need to do everything beforehand. Leave the house as it is. You can always come back on the weekends and work on the house a little bit at a time. Then it won’t seem overwhelming. It’s not like you need to sell the house immediately.”
Kathryn nodded. “You’re right. Let’s leave this for now. Thanks for your help today.”
The quiet on the other side of the room attracted Anne’s attention. “We better find out what the kids are doing.”
Emma had climbed into one of the boxes and closed the lid. Bandit was whining softly in a second box. Ben’s hair was sticking out between the flaps of a third box.