by Birch, Tony;
‘Well, I don’t,’ he explained. ‘Not when I’m out on the road. The police in them small towns have too much time on their hands. Here in the city, you’d be surprised. It doesn’t take much for a blackfellla to become invisible. Most people, they don’t know much about us and don’t want to know. Except for the ones involved in the citizenship business. And most of them are either Churchies or Union people. As far as the rest go, as long as we keep our heads down and steer clear of trouble, we don’t have a lot of problems getting by. It’s like we’re ghosts.’ He chuckled to himself. ‘Ghosts from the past.’
‘How do you manage that, Jack?’ Odette asked. ‘Keep yourself out of trouble? I can see you’ve got some cheek.’
‘Years back I set myself strict rules and I stick by them. I only have a beer when I’m in my own home, I pay all my bills up front and on time, and I do the best I can not to answer back. It doesn’t always stick, that last rule, but I try my best.’
‘There’d be a heavy price to pay for having to check yourself that way, I would think,’ Odette lamented.
‘There is. For a start, looking down at your feet too often rather than up, like a man should be entitled to do. That’s one cost. In the end, it’s worth it. I’m not proud of what I’ve had to do over the years, like having to beg for that exemption paper. I’m not ashamed of myself either. I do what’s needed to get by. Simple as that. So, what about my offer? We can put you and the girl up while you search around for your daughter.’
‘No, I can’t let you do that,’ Odette said. ‘I’m grateful. I am. But we’ll be alright. I know how to look after myself.’
‘I have no doubt of that,’ Jack said. ‘You’re a strong woman. A stubborn one too, if you don’t mind me saying so. That’s a part of what gets you women through, staying stubborn and tough. My wife, Alma, is stronger than any man I’ve known. Can you at least let me give you something before we go our separate ways?’ Jack searched his jacket pockets for a pencil. He picked up an empty cigarette packet from the ground, tore off a stub and wrote his address on the back. He handed the stub to Odette. ‘This is where me and my family is at. We’re only three railway stations out of the city on one of the suburban lines. Then its two streets away from the station. We’re not hard to find. If you change your mind about staying, all you have to do is turn up on the doorstep. We have no lock on the back door and you can sit in the kitchen and make yourself a cup of tea until somebody gets home.’
‘Thank you,’ Odette said. ‘I really am grateful.’
‘What’s your daughter’s name?’ Jack asked.
‘Lila. Lila Brown.’
‘Okay. I’ll ask around. Maybe someone has heard of her. If anything comes up how can I get hold of you?’
‘I don’t know yet.’ Odette realised she didn’t want to lose contact with Jack Haines. His warmth had impacted on her. ‘I’ll write you at your address as soon as we have settled, and let you know where we are.’
‘Good luck with your search then,’ Jack said. He walked away and was quickly lost in the crowd.
Odette put Jack’s address in her pocket. She turned to Sissy. ‘It’s time to go,’ she said. But Sissy had already gone.
Odette walked the length of the platform frantically calling Sissy’s name. She reached the end of the platform, turned and walked in the opposite direction, without finding her. She searched every platform of the vast station, watching trains pulling into platforms and people pouring in and out of carriages. If Sissy was caught in the crowd, Odette doubted she’d find her. She walked down a ramp to a subway lined with shops: a café, bootmaker, a dry-cleaner and a newsagency. She was too breathless to go on. She sat in a chair next to a weighing machine, dropped her case on the ground and cursed herself for her own stupidity, in not keeping a watchful eye on Sissy. A station porter, riding by on a baggage trolley, noticed her distress and pulled up alongside her. ‘Hey, what’s up, Love?’ he asked, showing genuine concern. ‘You look like you need some help.’
Odette looked up at a man with a red bloated face, a white man. He had beads of sweat on his forehead and a worker’s cap on his head, cheekily tilted to one side. She did the best she could to compose herself.
‘I’ve lost a girl, in my care. We were sitting down for a rest and I looked around and she was gone. I’ve searched everywhere and I can’t find her.’
He hopped off the trolley and sat next to Odette. ‘You tell me how old she is.’
‘She’s only just turned thirteen.’
‘Thirteen. I’m sure she’ll be right then.’
‘But she’s never been to the city before, and she won’t know what to do with herself, being alone.’
‘Well, when anyone’s lost or separated at the station, we tell them to go to the Traveller’s Aid Society and wait there to be collected. If she’s approached any of our staff for help, that’s where she’ll be.’ He stood up and patted the narrow seat of his trolley. ‘You look tired, Love. Hop up next to me and I’ll take you up there.’
‘You mean on the trolley?’
‘I do. Let me take you on a royal tour.’
The baggage trolley chugged along the subway and strained up a steep ramp. Odette was sure people were staring at her as she passed by. The station porter pulled up outside an office and hopped down from the trolley. ‘Let me help you down,’ he said, taking Odette by the arm. ‘You go through that door and make enquiries. I would just about bet my house that she’s in there waiting for you. On the off-chance she’s not, the ladies in there will help you out.’
‘Thank you,’ Odette said. ‘You’ve been so helpful.’
The porter looked bemused as he handed Odette her suitcase. ‘You shouldn’t expect any less, Love.’
Odette walked through the door and saw Sissy sitting at a table with a cup of tea and a biscuit. Sissy smiled when she saw Odette. ‘These are chocolate,’ she said, holding up the biscuit.
‘Where’d you get to?’ Odette demanded. ‘And why so calm? I’ve been sick with worry searching for you.’
‘I’m sorry, Nan, I really am. You were busy talking to Jack and I needed to go to the toilet. Bad. And I didn’t want to bother you. I was going to come straight back to where you were sitting, but when I came out of the toilet I couldn’t remember the platform we were on. There were so many people around and so much noise, I got lost. I’m sorry.’
Odette’s beating heart eased. ‘Well, I hope you are sorry.’ She leaned forward. ‘Sissy,’ she whispered, ‘it’s best you call me Auntie again.’
‘Why?’
Odette looked at two women behind the long wooden counter. ‘Because we don’t know these people and we need to be careful. I talked to you about this on the train.’
Sissy nervously tugged at her fringe. ‘Nan, I’m sorry, but I already told them that I’d lost you. The lady asked who I’d travelled with and I told her my grandmother. I forgot all about the white girl story.’
One of the volunteers walked over to Odette. ‘So, you found each other? I’m so pleased.’
‘Yes,’ Odette said, cautiously.
‘Good.’ The woman smiled. ‘You must have been so worried. Please let me fetch you a cup of tea.’
Sissy placed a hand on Odette’s leg. ‘You can have a chocolate biscuit as well, Nan. They’re free.’
The woman returned with Odette’s cup of tea.
‘I think I’m the one who should be sorry,’ Odette said. ‘Your Nan didn’t give this adventure enough thought before we took off.’
‘You don’t have to be sorry, Nan. I was the one who got lost. And you had no choice,’ Sissy said.
‘How do you mean?’
‘When you went to the police station and asked for help, you got none.’
Sissy’s comment surprised Odette. ‘How do you know that?’
‘Because I woke up in the night and heard you talk
ing to Bill Shea. And then yesterday you packed up the clothes and money and took me to the cemetery. To say goodbye.’
‘Goodbye?’
‘Yeah, Nan. I don’t know what we’re doing here. But I don’t think we’re going back to Quarrytown.’
‘And when did you work all this out?’
‘On the train ride. I did some thinking.’
The volunteer approached Odette. ‘I bet that cup of tea has done some good?’
‘Yes, thank you,’ she said. ‘It was just what I needed.’
‘Good. Are you returning home to the city or visiting?’
‘We’re visiting,’ Sissy interrupted. ‘It’s a holiday.’
‘How long do you plan to be here?’
‘I’m not sure,’ Odette said.
‘And do you have accommodation?’ the woman asked.
‘No,’ Odette said. ‘I’m sorry. We should have planned ahead. We’re not experienced travellers.’
‘Well, don’t worry yourself,’ the woman said. ‘We can help you out with a hotel. Do you have a preference?’
Odette sighed. ‘I would like somewhere that is quiet. Somewhere suitable for children.’
The woman smiled. ‘I know just the place.’ She walked over to a wooden bookcase and returned with a sheet of paper. ‘This hotel is only three blocks from here. You can take the bus or walk. The hotel is small, the rates are reasonable, and best of all it’s a temperance establishment. No alcohol. It keeps the riff-raff away.’ She handed Odette the sheet of paper. ‘There’s a map on the back if you need it.’
The pace of the street was frenetic. Odette ordered Sissy to hold on to her hand. ‘Don’t you dare let go, whatever happens.’
They stood at the intersection outside the station for several minutes while Odette studied the map and looked up at the street signs. ‘This way,’ she said finally, with uncertainty.
Sissy was fascinated by the sounds of the street, a police siren in the distance, a choir of newspaper boys and the rhythm of marching feet. ‘Hey, this is exciting, Nan,’ she said.
‘You think so?’ Odette thought it more frightening than anything else.
Approaching the next intersection, they saw a man standing on the lower rungs of a wooden ladder. A hand-painted sign resting against the ladder announced: Jesus Saves – at 8 o’clock tonight. He preached at the top of his voice, competing with the din of the street. A woman standing nearby, wearing what Odette was sure was a wheat sack patterned into an ankle-length skirt, offered her a pamphlet. ‘Will you allow Jesus into your life?’ she asked. ‘He will arrive at our church at eight tonight.’
‘Well, I’m glad he’s punctual,’ Odette quipped. ‘But, no thank you,’ she said, with as much politeness as she could summon.
The woman frowned and gritted her teeth. ‘If you do not come, you will be punished. Satan will take you.’
Such damnation never frightened Odette. Millie Khan had once asked her if she believed in the devil. Odette had shaken her head. ‘No, but even if he was true, this devil fella, how could he be any worse than some white people we know?’
Crossing the street, Sissy arched her neck and looked up at the tall building on the next street corner. As she counted the number of floors she was knocked to the ground by a pedestrian rushing past in the opposite direction.
Odette helped her to her feet. ‘Can I make a suggestion? Keep your eyes on what you can see in front of you and not what’s in the sky.’
At the next corner Odette turned left, as the map instructed. She searched for the street number, two-twenty-nine, and the name of the hotel, Temperance Palace.
‘Here it is,’ she said to Sissy, pointing at a sign above the entrance.
The hotel didn’t resemble the palace Sissy had imagined. The foyer was lined with wood panelling. It was gloomy, with a scent of disinfectant in the air. Odette approached the reception desk and read a small sign: Please ring the bell – only once!
‘Can I ring it, please?’ Sissy asked.
Odette placed her suitcase on the floor. ‘Go ahead. But not too loud.’
Sissy tapped the bell, as gently as possible. A young woman with dark hair and olive skin appeared from a doorway behind the reception desk. ‘Can I help you?’
Odette had not been in a hotel before and wasn’t sure what to ask for. ‘I need a bed for myself and the young girl here.’
The receptionist looked over at Sissy. ‘Are you and the girl related?’
‘I’m sorry?’ Odette asked
‘Would you prefer two single beds or a double to share?’
Odette had never slept in a double bed, alone or with anyone else. The thought of sleeping in a separate bed from Sissy felt alien to her but she suspected if she asked for a double bed the woman would think it odd behaviour for an Aboriginal ‘Auntie’ escorting a young white girl.
‘We’ll have two beds. Yes, two singles.’
‘Fine. And how many nights are you expecting to be staying with us?’
Odette looked up at the calendar on the wall behind the reception desk. ‘I can’t be sure. Two nights, but maybe more.’
‘That will be fine. We can book you in for two nights to begin with and take it from there.’
The receptionist handed Odette a card listing the room prices, services and conditions. Odette unbuckled her case and took out several notes. ‘Here you are.’
‘Oh no,’ the woman said, raising a hand. ‘You don’t need to pay until you’re ready to check out. I take it that you want the room?’
‘Yes, we will take it. Thank you.’
The receptionist handed Odette the key to the room and pointed out the locations of the dining room, lounge, library and laundry. ‘Where have you come from?’ she asked.
‘Oh, we’ve travelled a long way.’ Odette answered, without offering further details. ‘We’ve been on the train all day.’
‘Oh, you must be hungry. I bet you would like a cheese sandwich and a cup of tea,’ she said to Sissy.
‘Yes please,’ Sissy said.
‘Wait here for a few minutes and I will arrange food for you and show you the way to your room.’
The receptionist soon returned with a tray of food and asked Odette and Sissy to follow her to their room. Odette trailed behind as they climbed the narrow staircase. She heard the receptionist up ahead, chatting to Sissy as she put a key in a door and unlocked it. ‘Here we are,’ she announced.
By the time Odette reached the room she was short of breath. The receptionist handed her the key. ‘You take care,’ she said. She stopped and looked closely at Odette. It appeared that she wanted to say something more, but she excused herself and returned downstairs.
Sissy jumped from one bed to the other and back again. ‘Have you seen anything better than this, Nan? Two beds in one room!’
‘I’ve never seen such bad manners from you,’ Odette said. ‘You’ll break something, doing that. Maybe a leg. Or the bed. Hop down and we’ll have these sandwiches.’
The décor in the room was similar to the hotel lobby, dark and lined with wood. The beds had been pushed to the walls to create a narrow centre aisle. The room was otherwise bare, except for a Bible sitting on a shelf above one of the beds. Odette sat the tray of food on one bed and she and Sissy sat on the other, eating quietly and drinking tea. When they’d finished, Odette left the tray on a seat outside the room. She took her nightgown and Sissy’s pyjamas out of the case. All Odette wanted to do was hop into bed and sleep.
‘I need to go to the toilet,’ Sissy said.
‘It’s along the corridor next to the stairs. You go and be straight back. And then I will go after you.’
Once Sissy had gone Odette took the bundle of letters out of the case and untied the string. She opened the final letter her daughter had written her, one of the few with a legible postmark. She
read the revealing words: I’m working at a café, the Arizona. I will send money soon. When she heard Sissy’s footsteps in the hallway, Odette returned the letter to the case and quickly closed the lid.
‘Nan, guess what?’ Sissy said, standing in the doorway
‘Sorry, Love, but I’m too tired to guess anything. You’ll have to tell me.’
Sissy held out her hand. ‘I can’t tell you. Come with me and I’ll show you instead. It’s a surprise.’
‘But I’m tired, too tired for games and you’re getting too big to play them.’
‘Please, Nan. It’ll be worth it.’ Sissy guided Odette along the corridor and stopped at a door. ‘Close your eyes, Nan.’
Odette did as she was told and blindly shuffled into a room, guided by her granddaughter. Sissy clapped her hands together. ‘Open them!’
Odette had never been inside a proper bathroom. Some of the farms she’d worked on claimed to have bathrooms, but they’d been crude affairs, no more than glorified lean-tos at the rear of a farmhouse, constructed from corrugated-iron sheets above a brick floor. The hotel bathroom had white tiles on the floors and walls, chrome taps and a bath as big as the one in the backyard at Quarrytown. The hotel bath was finished in sparkling porcelain.
‘Watch this,’ Sissy said. She turned on a tap above the bath and pointed to the steam. ‘The hot water comes out as soon as the tap is turned on. You don’t have to build a fire under this one.’ She turned the tap off and on again. ‘See, Nan. It keeps on coming.’
Odette was suitably impressed. ‘I don’t believe a Queen would have a bathtub any better than this one.’
‘Well, you’re my Queen, Nan. I want you to get in.’
‘What do mean, get in? Don’t be silly. I can’t do that.’
‘Yes, you can. I’m going to fill it up for you.’ She opened a cupboard door. ‘And there’s fluffy towels in here and tiny bars of soap.’
‘I can’t do this. Someone might come along.’
‘It doesn’t matter,’ Sissy said. She walked over to the door. ‘There’s a lock on the door. Nobody can come in. Hop in the bath and I’ll get your nightie for you.’