by Faith Potts
I shift my foot around in the floorboard, relax against the seat back, and finally, lean my head against hers. “It’s okay, Lex. Do you want to talk about it?”
“Yes…no.” She sighs. “I’m not sure. I just—” She pulls away, drawing back to face me. “I have this fear. This deep, down-in-my-gut fear. It’s always been there, and sometimes I wonder if it always will be, or if one day I’ll finally be rid of it.”
I swallow hard, wishing I could take all her fears away and knowing that I can’t. “What is it that holds you captive like that, sweetheart?”
She doesn’t answer at first, staring out the windshield. “Promise not to laugh?”
“Of course.”
She visibly trembles and draws her arms close against herself. “Abandonment.” Her gaze snaps up to mine. “I know—that sounds so childish. And maybe it is an exaggeration, but…”
“But you’ve been abandoned before,” I finish for her, reaching out to touch her hand.
Grabbing hold of my fingers, she nods, again and again. “Dad left before I started middle school. Mom may have been there physically after that, but she was always more concerned with herself than Kellon and me.” She lifts her eyes to mine, and then I see the tears that shimmer there, just on the brink of falling. “And then Drake, the man who was supposed to love me more than anything. Except I was too young and stupid and blinded by infatuation to see that he didn’t really treasure me.”
I want to speak—want to take those tears out of her eyes and assure her that no one is ever going to hurt her again. But I can’t. Because she is going to be hurt more in this life. Even if not by others, then by me. I care for her deeply and never would want to see pain come into her life, but I’m not perfect. I know I’ll hurt her. Because I’m broken, probably more so than some.
“My parents had a terrible marriage,” Alex speaks again. Once the words began to spill out, she can’t seem to stop them. “They argued in front of me and Kellon even before that horrible year when they finally split. And then with Drake…” She shakes her head. “I seem to come from a line of failed relationships.”
“The world is full of failed relationships, Lex.”
She rolls her eyes, blinking away the remnants of tears that have already fallen. “Wow, that was encouraging.”
I can’t help but chuckle. “Let me finish, okay? There are a lot of failed relationships in the world, and there’s always going to be. But there’s also times when it works—and it’s because the people were willing to open themselves up, knowing the risk of failure. If God is in it, and in both their hearts, it can work. It doesn’t always have to fail, Lex.”
She turns her attention and focus back to me, chin trembling. “James?”
Oh great, now I’m the reason she’s crying. “Yes?”
“There is one relationship in my life that isn’t a complete and total disaster. Joe and Gloria. That’s the kind of marriage I want some day.”
I nod, calm and serious. So she does get what I’m talking about. I focus on her face, her eyes, wanting her to know I’m listening, really listening because I care. “That’s what I want too. We…” My voice fails me and I lick my lips, try again. “We can make it happen, Lex. You and me.”
She smiles, sweet and beautiful. “I’m willing to give us a chance at forever if you are.”
Oh, wow. Even better than the ‘we’ll see’ that I expected. “Yes, ma’am.” I tug on her hand, drawing her back toward me.
But she halts me, sitting straight and erect with her knee drawn up in the seat. “I just have one request.”
“Let’s hear it.”
She chews her lip, looking anywhere but at me. “I can’t believe I’m actually about to say this, but maybe it’s good for me to open up.” Finally, her eyes find mine and lock there. “I’m not asking you to promise anything, but… Be gentle with my heart, James. I’m still terrified of being hurt again.”
Oh, Lex… Twisting, I securely wrap my arm around her shoulders and hold her close. “I can’t promise, because I might not be able to keep it. But I’ll do all in my power to make sure no one ever hurts you…including me.”
|| ~* || ~* || ~* ||
|| Alex
I expected a response of some kind from James when I opened my heart to him, but I didn’t quite imagine this. I smile to myself as I close my eyes and let him hold me. It’s so good, so right, to have someone take care of me. I can’t always be the strong one.
“Storm’s passing.”
“Huh?” I lift my head and peek over James’s damp shoulder.
“Look.”
Outside of the windshield, rain is still streaming down but not so forcefully. The thunder and lightning have moved off to find somewhere else to terrorize with their fury. I don’t mind it now. It’s kind of interesting, this rain.
He leans back against the seat, smiling at me in the darkness. “You’re pretty special, Lexie Lou.”
Uncle Joe’s nickname for me? I laugh out loud. “Hey, you can’t use that.”
“All right…” He grins, propping his foot against the dash. By the looks of things, he’s getting comfortable to think of something else to call me. Oh boy.
“How about Lil’ Miss Therapist?”
“But I’m not your therapist anymore.”
“Fair maiden, then?”
“Too aristocratic.”
“I’m pretty sure you have no idea what that word even means.”
How dare he. “Of course I know what it means!”
Headlights reflect off the rearview. James pulls his foot off the dash and turns around, dropping the nickname chat. “We’ve got company. Is it just me, or did he take an eternity?”
You’re smarter than that, hon. Please tell me you saw right through him. “He intentionally took an eternity, James.”
Uncle Joe appears at James’s side of the truck, rapping on the window. Although it’s unlocked, James reaches over and opens the door. “Crawl in out of the rain, Joe.”
Uncle Joe climbs into the cab, squishing James between us. This suddenly got cozy.
I lean against the steering wheel to see around James to my matchmaking, break-up-remedying uncle. “So did you have the part?”
“Part?” He repeats, his face dark—reminding me of how late it must be by now. Or early?
“Yeah, you know, for the truck?”
“Oh, right. Yeah. I mean, no. No, I don’t have one.” He coughs, exchanging a glance with James. “The truck will have to be towed to an auto shop.”
I frown, not looking forward to those bills. “The part isn’t something I could purchase?”
“Well, to be perfectly honest…”
“That would be nice.”
“I told a minor fib. There is no simple, needed part. I’m not sure what’s up. We’re going to have to get it towed to a mechanic or at least back to my house.” My uncle’s voice is that close to an all-out guffaw.
Oh, these two… I cock my head toward the two men to my right. “Why do I get the feeling both of you knew about this?”
“Well…” James begins—and my suspicions are confirmed. “I didn’t know. Not exactly.”
“Yeah, he did,” Uncle Joe pipes up.
“Yes, but—”
“But what?”
“But I didn’t know you were going to leave me with her! The way she was glaring fire at me, I was that close to—”
Uncle Joe rolls his eyes, obviously tuning James out. “Oh, c’mon. My idea worked, so what have you got to complain about?”
James quiets. The minimal light filtering through the water-sparkled windshield illuminates his smile. “It…did work. Thanks, Joe.”
“It was actually Glory’s idea, but I was willing to try anything. Another day of both of y’all whining and pouting would have done me in.” Uncle Joe looks at me and winks.
I snicker, shaking my head. “Ganging up on me now? What am I going to do with you two? And Aunt Gloria, too!”
“Shoul
d I be worried, Joe?” James asks, but his gaze is on me.
“Nah. And I shouldn’t be either.” Uncle Joe throws me a second wink before reaching for the door handle. “If y’all want rides home, I suggest making a run for it while the rain is slacked.”
Hopping out of the cab, I race ahead of them through the rain to wedge myself into the middle seat. The guys climb in on either side of me, and I laugh as I scoot over to give Uncle Joe some space.
James holds my hand as we drive back toward town, leaving my rusty ol’ truck in the dust. If there were dust, that is. Maybe in a spray of water, then?
By the time Joe puts the truck in park in front of the apartments, rain is coming down in sheets. “I need to check on something in the office, and then I’ll take you home, Lexie.” He shoots a glance at James. “But if y’all aren’t out of this cramped truck cab in less than five minutes, I’ll be back.”
I grin, watching as Uncle Joe hustles across the wet parking lot.
“Want to come in for coffee?” James offers, sliding toward the passenger door after I slid into Joe’s seat.
I pause, halting myself before blurting out an affirmative just to spend more time with him.
“Oh, wait. You don’t do black and we don’t have creamer. Ice cream, then?”
I laugh; he obviously wants five more minutes as much as I do. “Deal.”
A vague shadow of his grin is visible in the dark interior of the truck. “I’ll get your door.”
“Oh, I’m good. It’s pouring and you’ll only get wetter than—”
I stop. Freeze. Cut off my mindless stream of words. Isn’t this what I said I would stop doing—being self-reliant and thinking myself strong enough? Didn’t I just promise James I would stop downing myself—which should include thinking myself unworthy of being taken care of by someone special?
“Actually, no. I would appreciate that.”
“Thank you, Lex.” He watches me a second longer before reaching for the door handle and hopping out. I stick my phone in my pocket as I watch him running around the hood of the truck.
And I smile. Thank You for this night, Lord. And thank You for thunderstorms.
Chapter Sixteen || James
“Is it even necessary to ask why you’re standing there, watching the window and grinning at your phone?”
I turn at the sound of Lester’s voice, still grinning. “Nope. It’s five after already, but she’s not exactly known for being on time.”
Snickering, Lester spins his chair around and starts back toward the kitchen. “I’ll be a pal and not tell Alex you said that.”
“Hey, wait up!” I call after him. “I thought you had a date with Hope this evening?”
He spins back toward me, shaking his head. “Nope, tomorrow. She called to say she has to work tonight.”
“Who suggested the re-schedule?”
He gives me a one-eyed squint, obviously curious as to why I’m suddenly inquiring about his girl. “She did. Why?”
“Sounds like a good sign.”
He wheels out of the room, but not before I catch the shadow of a smile that sneaks onto his face at my suggestion. He’s a goner.
In the weeks following the remedying of our relationship, Alex and I have spent as much time as possible together. She’s hauled me around town while I look for a job and helped with filling out applications. Last Saturday, we went to the local community college where she graduated, took a stroll around the grounds, and checked into possible fall and spring classes. And now, tonight, we’re going out for dinner.
Moments later, Alex’s recently-repaired truck appears in my view. I’m out the door and in the seat next to her before she has the chance to say hello.
Laughing, she props her elbow on the back of the seat as she turns the truck around. “Where to, Your Highness?”
“Your choice.”
“That’s not fair.” Her face scrunches up as she pulls out of the drive, making me smile. She looks herself tonight in a summery green top and jeans. Not pants-jeans and not denim shorts, but those funny pants that end about mid-calf. She has a name for them, but I can’t think of it. Her hair is piled high on the back of her head, with a few wisps hanging around her ears. How did I get lucky enough to stumble into her life?
Stumble, literally. Ha.
She glances my way, then back to the road, knocking me out of my stupor. “Well?”
“Well, what?”
She shakes her head, snickering. “You’re sitting over there grinning like I don’t even know what, but you didn’t hear a word I said.”
“Of course I did.”
“What did I say?”
That was a challenge if I ever saw one. “Um, well, you said…”
“Thought so,” she smirks. “I asked if you’re okay with Rollands for dinner.”
“Perfect.”
When Alex pulls into the restaurant’s parking lot, I hop out before the vehicle is in park and hurry around to get her door before she beats me to it.
She smiles and grabs her phone and keys before joining me on the asphalt. “How gentlemanly of you, Semper Fi.”
“Anytime, fair maiden.” I grin and grab her hand as we start across the parking lot.
As I’ve discovered in the last few weeks, she appreciates being looked after and shown how special she is, but she’s not going to wait around for it. I step in front of her and grab the door, earning myself another sweet smile. I think I’m figuring this out.
|| ~* || ~* || ~* ||
|| Alex
The waitress has just left the table after taking our dessert order when a teen girl approaches. She’s wringing her hands and chewing her bottom lip, looking like she might dart away at any second.
“Excuse me, do y’all have a minute?”
“Sure.” James props his arm on the table. He twists to face her and his loose shirtsleeve comes into view.
The girl’s eyes roam that way before moving away again. “Um, I don’t talk to people. Like, ever. Especially people I don’t know. But I really want to tell y’all something.”
“Okay.” Now she’s got my complete attention. I just wish there was a better way I could reassure her. She’s so jumpy. “Go for it.”
She eyes me with doubt—wavy, dark blonde hair falling into her eyes. “You’re going to think I’m crazy.”
“Never,” I promise, although I’m beginning to wonder. James shoots me a glance that suggests I might have spoken too rashly.
“I promise I’m not like an escapee from juvie or something, but…” Her gaze bounces from me to James and back again. “I’m writing a book—my third, actually. And y’all really remind me of the main characters. Like, legit, the main ship of the book is sitting at this table.”
She suddenly colors, hazel eyes widening. “Oh dear. I’m sorry. Y’all probably don’t even know what a ship is. Which is okay! I shouldn’t have—”
“I do.” I bite my lip to hide my grin and seek to assure her, beyond intrigued at what she’s already shared.
“I…don’t.” James glances back and forth between us. “Should I?”
“Um, no.” The girl smiles shyly. “I would kinda rather you not know.”
I laugh. “That’s very exciting about writing a book. What a remarkable endeavor.”
She fairly beams, eyes bright on her cute face. “Thank you. I’m pretty excited for it.”
“Yeah, congrats.” James seems to have finally quit trying to figure out what a ship is and returns to the conversation at hand. “I expect a signed copy and a space in the acknowledgements.”
The girl laughs. “Count on it, okay? Thanks for being cool with this. When I saw y’all, I just had to say hey.”
“Absolutely, thank you for sharing.”
She turns partially and then turns back. Still smiling, she tentatively extends her hand to James. “Thank you for your service, sir.”
He glances at me before he takes her hand and matches her smile. “You’re welcome. Thank you f
or caring.”
Nodding again—apparently fresh out of words—she scurries across the dining room to a booth where two other girls are seated.
“Oh my gosh!” The one without glasses stands as the writer-girl approaches. “You did it!”
The girls hug, jabbering and laughing, until the other girl reprimands them. “Shush, you two. They’re watching us.”
I quickly jerk my gaze away, still watching them from the corner of my eye—and attempting to squelch my laughter.
“And…I think they heard me.” I hear the girl with glasses, presumably the oldest, grumble. “Oh, this is just great, Faith. You and your stalking habits.”
James’s snicker draws me back to my own table and date. “What do ya know, someone is writing a book about us.”
I laugh, spotting the waitress approaching with our dessert. “That was sweet of her to come over and talk to us. It took some gumption.”
“Yeah, hopefully I didn’t scare her off.”
As I give him the glare and don’t respond, the waitress drops off a huge slice of chocolate cheesecake and two forks. Upon learning that my boyfriend had never had the deliciousness, I insisted he try it.
Selecting one of the forks, he nabs the point of the slice and inspects it. “Should I be prepared to gag?”
“Do you like chocolate?”
“I guess.” He continues studying the tiny bit of pie in a way that makes me want to laugh.
“Cheesecake?”
“Not really.”
I sigh and take a bite of the desert myself, eyes drifting closed at the pleasure. Heavenly. “Then I don’t know what to tell you, other than you’re missing out.”
Shrugging, he samples the cheesecake—and immediately returns for seconds. “Not bad.”
I grin and take another bite before he eats it all. “Thought so.”