“Hi,” I say. I clear my throat. His white t-shirt is covered in a brown coffee stain, and my brand new interview outfit is ruined. I drag my eyes up to his and bite my lip. He looks at the mess, and his eyes sparkle when he looks at me.
“Just like old times,” he grins.
“Shut up, Liam. That was clearly your fault.” I try to keep the grin off my face, sucking my lip between my teeth to stop myself from laughing. I giggle, and then duck down to pick up the ruined cup.
“Maybe it was. I owe you one of those.” He nods to the cup.
We stand in front of each other as I hold my breath. I keep waiting for the pain to crash into me, but it never does. I look at his broad features and his clear green eyes. I take in his two-day-old stubble and his mussed hair. I inhale his scent, and something tugs at my heart.
I nod. “Okay.”
His face splits open into a smile. He nods to the coffee shop behind us, and we walk in silence.
“What have you been up to?” I ask. I’m standing apart from him, even though everything inside me is begging me to lean against him. “How’s the Heart Start Foundation?”
Liam runs his fingers through his hair, and then grabs a stack of napkins to dab at his shirt. “I’m not actually working there anymore,” he says, focusing on the massive stain on his chest. He hands me a bundle of napkins and I do the same.
“No?”
He shakes his head. “I decided to go back to school. Sports science—I might try to do something related to physical therapy or running or something.”
My eyebrows shoot up and a smile stretches across my face. “Yeah?”
He nods, glancing at me. “Yeah,” he replies. His eyes are clear, and he smiles at me. He nods to the napkins in my hand and I give them to him. I watch him walk over to the trash can to throw them out, and my heart tugs again. I remember running my hands over those shoulders, pulling him into me and crushing my lips against his.
It wasn’t that long ago.
I remember how happy I was for those six weeks we were together. I was dizzy with happiness. I couldn’t even function.
Now, it seems like a dream. He’s just as handsome, just as attractive, but I don’t feel like I’m tumbling when I’m around him. I feel that pull from my core, drawing me toward him. His scent fills my nostrils and the corners of my lips tug upward, but I don’t feel out of control.
I pull my eyes away from him long enough to order a new coffee. The barista glances at both our shirts and nods. “You guys had an accident?”
“Something like that,” Liam grins, glancing at me. He puts his hand on my lower back, and then pulls it away.
I miss his touch.
“How about you?” He glances at me. “What have you been up to?”
“Just got a job,” I grin. “And I’ve been playing roller derby.”
He grins. “That’s badass.”
“You think so?”
“I bet you’re good at it.”
“I suck, but thanks,” I laugh. We walk outside and stand on the sidewalk. I don’t want this moment to end, but I don’t feel ready to give myself to him. I can’t just forget how he disappeared from my life without a word.
I take a deep breath. “Anyway, I better go. Thanks for the coffee.”
Liam opens his mouth and then closes it again. He swallows, and then nods. “Yeah, for sure. It was good to see you again.”
“You too, Liam. Good luck.”
My eyes start to mist up, and I quickly blink the moisture away. A lump forms in my throat and I grimace as I try to smile. In a way, it feels like I’m saying goodbye now… forever.
My heart squeezes. Liam stands there, his chest moving up and down as he takes deep breaths.
“Ash, I’m sorry about… about everything that happened.”
My eyes fill with tears and I shake my head. “Thanks. It’s alright.” I try to smile again.
“No.” He takes a step toward me and my breath hitches. “I wanted to talk to you but I didn’t want my brother to hurt you. When White resigned from the police force, I realized that my brother…” Liam inhales. He shakes his head. “I’m just sorry, that’s all.”
“White resigned?”
Liam’s eyebrows arch. “It was all over the news a month ago.”
I shrug. “I sort of avoided the news. Your stupid face was always on it,” I laugh. Liam’s cheeks get red and he runs his fingers through his hair. His face crumples for a second, and he shakes his head.
“I’m glad you’re doing well,” he finally says.
We say nothing for a moment, and the weight of everything unsaid hangs heavy between us. I look at his strong jaw, his clear, green eyes, his messy hair and I wonder if it could ever work between us.
Then, I sigh and I smile sadly. “I’ll see you around.”
I turn away from him and walk away so he won’t see the tears spilling from my eyes.
32
Liam
Watching Ashley walk away from me is the hardest thing that I’ve ever done, and then I realize that’s exactly what I did to her. Except when I walked away, I accused her of colluding with the police chief and murdering her abusive husband.
My heart stings.
I’m ashamed.
Even after all that, she was able to talk to me, to be polite, to wish me the best. She stood tall and looked me in the eye with all her strength and grace and good wishes.
Once again, I don’t feel worthy of her. Except that this time, my head is clear. I haven’t had a drink in two months, I’ve been focused on studying and working and making my own way through the world.
I haven’t spoken to my brother since the election, and my parents aren’t exactly supportive of my new choices, but it feels good to be moving on.
I take a deep breath and square my shoulders. I may not be worthy of being with Ashley yet, but I can be a good man. I can face my mistakes and try to make them right. I jump in my car and head toward my parents’ estate.
My mother greets me with a confused smile. “Darling! I haven’t seen you in weeks.”
“Hi, Mom,” I say. “I’m just here to pick up some paperwork.”
Her smile fades. “Oh, okay. How’s school?”
“It’s good,” I call out, taking the steps two at a time. I turn left down our wide hallway, but instead of stopping at my bedroom, I continue on toward Adrian’s. I push the door open and take a deep breath.
What I’m looking for might not be here, but if I know my brother, this is where he would keep it. My parents’ house is safer than Fort Knox, definitely safer than City Hall, and my brother is a creature of habit. Whenever he had something valuable, he always hid it in the wall in his closet.
I push his old clothes aside and find the secret door that we built together when we were kids. Even my parents don’t know it’s here—or at least, I don’t think they do.
My heart thumps when I find the latch. I could be wrong—there could be nothing in here except old baseball cards and cobwebs.
But if I’m right, then I have a chance to make things right with Ashley. Maybe not completely, maybe not directly, but it would be a step in the right direction.
With a deep breath, I unlatch the hook and pull the little door open. It’s dark in the closet, but I can still see a crisp, new manila folder sitting in the cubby space. My hands tremble when I pull it out, and I flip it open to see the same sheets of paper that ruined my best relationship.
The evidence against Police Chief White.
Seeing it now, after the election and after his resignation, these few sheets of paper don’t seem so monumental. It’s just paper. I flip through the pages to make sure it’s all there. Then, I use my cellphone flashlight to check the cubbyhole. There’s a black USB key in the back corner, so I grab that as well just in case.
I put everything back as I found it and tuck the folder under my arm.
“Bye, Mom!” I call out to the big, cavernous house as I jog out the front door. Once
in my car, I flip the first page of the folder open and plug White’s address into my GPS. The female, robotic voice starts to direct me down the street.
My heart hammers against my ribcage as I make my way toward White’s house. As far as I know, he didn’t move away from Denver—why would he? He resigned to applause and honor, with no hint of scandal. But still, when I turn down his street, my palms are sweaty.
I park outside his house and take a deep breath. This is step one in becoming the kind of man that can be with Ashley, and that thought gives me strength.
I slip out of my car and take long strides toward the house. My hand is steady when I ring the doorbell, but I open and close my fist as I wait for someone to answer.
The seconds tick by, and I ring the doorbell again. I peek through the window at the quiet house as my frustration starts to build.
There’s no one home. My shoulders slump. Coming here, I was buoyed by the thoughts of Ashley, of the way she looked at me, of her strength.
Coming back when I don’t have that will be the true challenge. I turn back toward my car with a sigh.
“Can I help you?” A deep, authoritative voice comes from behind me. I turn to see White wiping grease off his hands with a dirty rag. He’s walking out of the double garage, wearing a work shirt and staring at me with the watchful eyes of an ex-police officer.
“Police Chief White,” I say as my heart hammers against my chest.
“Just Charlie, now,” he says. He stuffs the rag in his pocket and takes a step toward me. He frowns. “Do I know you?”
“We met once,” I say. I take a deep breath. “Under… less than ideal circumstances.”
Recognition flashes across his face. “Maguire.”
“Liam, yeah.” His shoulders rise up and his face hardens. I take a deep breath. “I came to bring you this. I know it’s a couple months late, and you might not want it at all, but I figured you should know what you were dealing with.”
White holds my gaze for a few moments and then drops it to the folder. He closes the gap between us and takes it, flipping it open and sighing.
“Why are you bringing me this?”
I take a deep breath. “I’m not sure.”
“Is this some kind of threat? I’ve already resigned.”
“What? No! I… I think it’s the only copy, but there was a USB as well. I’ll destroy it if it has anything on it. I thought you should know what my brother had on you. You know, for peace of mind. It’s not much.”
“It’s enough to ruin a police career.”
“Yeah.” We stare at each other for a few seconds and finally I sigh. “Look, I’m sorry. I’m not… My brother and I… I have no ill will toward you. Ashley and I…”
I sigh again, frustrated. I don’t know what I’m trying to say. I don’t know why I’m here, except for the fact that it felt like the right thing to do. Finally, I look down at my coffee- stained shirt and think of Ashley’s face when she crashed into me. I take a deep breath.
“I’m in love with Ashley King. I fucked it all up, and I don’t know if I’ll ever get her back. I guess I thought if I gave you that folder…” I sigh. “I don’t know. I guess I was trying to prove to myself that I’m not a bad person.”
White looks at me, his face unflinching.
“Love, huh?”
I nod. “Yes, sir.” My heart thunders against my ribcage. I’ve never said it—never thought it—until now. But saying the words out loud makes me realize how true they are, how undeniable my feelings for Ashley are.
He grunts, and then lifts the folder. “Thank you. I didn’t know what your brother had found on me. It helps to know.”
He starts walking away from me. “Mr. White!” I call out. He pauses and turns to look at me. “Did you know? Did you know about Ashley’s husband—what he did to her?”
White’s face drops. His eyebrows draw together and his shoulders slump down. He takes a deep breath, and when he looks at me again, the authority in his eyes is gone. Deep, dark sadness blankets his face. He dips his chin down.
“I knew, and I did nothing until it was all over.” He lifts the folder up. “Thanks for this.”
Disappearing into his garage, he leaves me there alone, confused, and in love with a woman I’ve already lost.
When I go home, I stick the USB into my computer. My eyes widen when I see its contents. Adrian didn’t just keep dirt on the Police Chief—he kept dirt on himself. Every detail of his correspondence with Hansen Constructions is on the USB. I read through it all, my heart thumping as I see the blatant bribery, corruption, and overall rottenness that runs through my brother’s politics.
Leaning back in my chair, I shake my head. He probably kept this to have leverage over John Hansen, but all he’s done is given me leverage over him. I take a picture of the USB and send it to him.
When he calls me a couple minutes later, I don’t answer. I just send him another text with five words:
Liam: Leave me and Ashley alone.
He calls again, and I don’t answer again. I put the USB in a safe, locking it away along with my broken relationship with my brother. If it means protecting Ashley, I’ll take that USB with me to my grave.
33
Ashley
When the police chief came to my door on the one year anniversary of Randy’s death, it threw me off-balance. This time, when he shows up at my door, I’m only curious. I’ve never seen him dressed in civilian clothes before. He takes a deep breath.
“Ms. King.”
“Poli—Charlie. What can I do for you?”
“Can I come in?”
I open the door wider, and the two of us sit down in the living room. It’s eerily similar to last time he was here, except this time I feel comfortable and confident, and he looks almost sad.
“First of all, I wanted to apologize.”
I frown. “Okay… for what?”
“For not doing anything when…” he takes a deep breath. “When Randy was alive. I knew something was wrong and I turned a blind eye. It wasn’t until…”
His eyebrows draw together and I lean toward him.
“Charlie, there’s no use dredging up the past. I’ve moved on, and—”
He shakes his head. “It needs to be said. It was my duty to serve and protect, and I did neither. I didn’t want to believe that one of my men would be doing that to his beautiful wife, and I ignored it.” He lifts his eyes to mine, filled with guilt and pain. “I was first on the scene the night he died.”
I frown.
“I was driving home and I saw the cruiser. I’m the one that called it in.”
My eyebrows jump up as my heart starts to thunder. So what Liam had said about him knowing…
“I found your phone. It was in the grass near the side of the road.”
“Charlie, I—”
He shakes his head. “I knew what had happened. I could tell right away. To have ignored it for so long and then see you punished for defending yourself…” he sighed. “It went against all my training, all my ethics, but I had to do the right thing. I got rid of your phone, and I made sure no one knew. There’s no mention of your phone in the police report, or in the Maguire file. They were only guessing at your involvement. Mine was clear.”
I’m speechless. Charlie White takes a deep breath and shakes his head.
“I had to resign for it—the mayor found out. His brother—the runner. He came to my house yesterday and gave me the file. He said it was the only copy, and he wanted to give me peace of mind. I think he was thinking of you.”
My heart squeezes. I shake my head. “That doesn’t make any sense.”
Charlie sighs. It’s strange seeing him like this—vulnerable and human. “I can’t take back all those years that you went through. I can’t go back and make myself act on my suspicions, but I can tell you that I will never let this come back on you. I’ll take this to my grave.”
“Liam gave you the file?”
The former police chief
nods.
I blow the air out of my mouth and shake my head. “This is a lot to take in. You knew I did this?”
He nods again. The tip of his nose is red. He wrings his hands together and takes a deep breath. “You did the right thing. Randy was violent—I saw it in him, when he was on duty. I knew what he was capable of. I just… I couldn’t…”
I move from my chair to sit next to the man and I wrap my arms around him. He melts into my arms and we hold each other as my tears soak into his shirt. I sniffle and pull away from him, and he laughs through teary eyes.
“You shouldn’t be the one comforting me.”
“It’s over now, Charlie,” I say with a smile. “Thank you for what you did.”
He swallows. “You deserve a good man. The Maguire boy loves you—I don’t know what happened between you, but I could see it.”
My heart stings. I nod. “You want a coffee?”
He clears his throat and shakes his head, and then pushes himself off my couch. “No, thank you. I’d better get going.”
I nod. I show him to the door. He turns around and looks me in the eye once more and takes a deep breath. “I hope one day you’ll forgive me for turning my back on you.”
I smile sadly. “I already have, Charlie.”
He dips his chin down.
“Give my best to Caroline.” I say.
“Will do. She’s the one who first said something to me about Randy.” He shakes his head. “My wife has always been the smarter one.” He sighs, and then pinches his lips together and nods. I watch him walk down the pathway and then close the door. My head is spinning. I sit down on the couch again and take a deep breath.
Charlie White knew about Randy—about the violence, about his death, about everything. He covered it up for me. My heart thumps and I put my head in my hands.
For the past sixteen months, I’ve tortured myself thinking about it. I thought the police were against me, that I had to hide away and live the rest of my life under the radar. I thought I would never recover.
But now, it’s all changed. White helped me. No one else knows, and I’m safe. He gave up his career for me. I take a deep breath and close my eyes.
Love/Hate: The Complete Enemies to Lovers Series Page 34