“Whatever.” I got up to leave. I always had to when he was like this. Grace was the only one we managed to forget about fighting for. And then half the time we’d argue over her.
Suddenly, I didn’t care what Mum would say. The urge to see Grace, even for a few minutes, was greater than the risk. I bolted from the house and sprinted as fast as my legs could carry me, down the lane and over the green to her house. They didn’t have a doorbell, so you had to knock on the door, and my knuckles burned from banging so hard.
The door opened, and I saw a sad girl. Her blue eyes were usually bright and shone like crystals, but they were darker today, and it broke something inside of me. I never wanted Grace to be sad.
“Oh, hey!” Her voice picked up as she looked at me, her smile returning. “How was school?”
“All right. You?”
She shrugged and opened the door, allowing me to step inside. She stomped up to her bedroom, and I followed. “Is Maddison coming over?”
“No.” My response was blunt because right now, it was my time with Grace. Maddison had seen her all day, and I didn’t want to share her.
“Okay. So —” She jumped onto her bed, and I took my usual seat at her desk. “What happened? Any nice teachers?”
“It was fine. Big. So many kids. Too many.”
“It’s the first day.”
“Yeah.” I turned to her desk and the windowsill where there were a few of the dragons we’d made from modelling clay or other craft bits and pieces. They weren’t the same figurines that I collected, but in a way, these were better. We’d made these together, coming up with names and stories for each of them, together. And she got to look at them every day.
Now I was here, things felt awkward.
“I need to get going. Mum’s going to be mad I left before dinner.”
“Don’t get into trouble,” she warned.
“I won’t. Shall I come over after school tomorrow?” I asked, hopeful of getting some part of our life back.
“Erm, I can’t tomorrow. Mum wants me to do netball after school this year.”
I nodded. “Okay. Have a good time.”
Those first few weeks were the hardest. We were all trying to find our way—our new place, and it didn’t come easily. Whereas before we’d spend as much time together as possible, now we had to take the time and find the opportunities. Everything was harder.
Maddison grew more popular, and his other friends invaded our home on more and more occasions. Grace was encouraged to do more things, although I knew she didn’t want to. And being at a different school forced me to make new friends, even if I didn’t feel I wanted them. I was happy with the friends—friend—I already had.
By Christmas, things were more settled, and a new routine had emerged. In some ways, it was better because I got to spend time on Sunday with Grace without Maddison. He’d started playing rugby for a new team, and Mum left me home alone. It was the only time in the week I looked forward to. All the other time, I had to share Grace’s attention, and as I grew older, I knew I didn’t want to share her with anyone. Not even Maddison.
Spring was my favourite time of year because I knew summer would be here soon. The outside beckoned. The winter chill had gone, and the nights were stretching longer, meaning more time to play in the evenings.
“Hey, Oliver. Grace is going to come and watch me in the game at the weekend. Are you coming as well?”
“What?” I shrieked. Sunday was always the time we could do what we want, and that meant I’d see Grace. We were writing a new story about a fantasy world where elves and dragons were at war.
“Yeah, I asked Mum as it’s the final game of the season. Grace said it would be nice to see me play. Will you come, too?”
An unusual edge of nerves could be heard in his voice. He was always the confident one, and nothing seemed to bother him. My little brother was asking me to be his big brother, possibly for the first time. I tapped down the rush of envy that first struck at the mention of Grace and nodded my head. “Sure. Better win, though.”
“Of course.”
The following weekend, we all went to watch Maddison. Rather, I spent most of my time watching Grace, watching Maddison. Her long hair was browner—more like mine—than the sunshine colour it was when we first met. She’d put it in two rows of plaits to keep it out of the way, but I liked it better when it was loose and flying around as we ran outside or rode our bikes.
The team played well, and Maddison even scored a try. We both jumped about on the sideline with Mum and Dad cheering. I stood up a little taller after that, proud to be his brother. We all enjoyed the day, and it reminded me of how important Grace was to both of us. I knew I had feelings for Grace that were more than just what a friend would have. She was special in a way I’d never felt before, and that wouldn’t just fade away if I didn’t see her every day. I had to trust in the pact we made—the three of us. But I also knew that no matter how much I wanted Grace to myself, she’d always be a part of Maddison’s life as well.
My new-found clarity, or rather, slightly better understanding of our friendship, made my days at school away from Maddison and Grace easier. It opened a part of me up to the idea of us being friends with other people. Because I could have other friends as well, that wouldn’t change who my best friends were.
Lots of people had lots of friends, and it was something I found hard enough to do without shying away from it as well. Plus, it would make my time at school a hell of a lot easier. It would be another year after this one before they joined me, which, right now, seemed like forever to wait.
The start of the summer holidays arrived, and with it, a sense of relief. For the next six weeks, there was nothing to worry about. The tension and awkwardness that had arisen from our first year apart from each other disappeared as if it hadn’t happened.
We fell back into the easy rhythm of being around each other, happy to compromise, play, and just spend time together.
Maddison seemed to lose the ego that he’d been developing towards the end of term, and Grace’s smile returned tenfold. That was the best part.
After the first bike incident, we were always cautious of going riding with Grace, but this time it was her idea. This summer was uncharacteristically hot, and the fields around the house had turned to straw in the baking sun.
We packed a bag each and took off down the lanes. We could ride a lot farther now, and Grace didn’t wobble so much. Maddison led the way, as usual, sticking to narrow lanes that took us between farms and fields.
“Mads, I need a drink,” Grace shouted as she pulled in by a gate. An abandoned caravan sat on the other side of it with a rusty ‘Keep Out’ sign. Maddison came back, and we all rested next to the gate in the partial shade of a huge oak tree. Its big branches reached out far enough to give us some relief from the heat, and I made a plan to come back another day to see if we could climb it. The sun beat down, and the hum of crickets and other bugs kept us company.
“Shhh, did you hear that?” Grace whispered.
“What?” we both whispered back.
“That.” We were all silent for a moment, and a little meep sound came from the bushes near the old, broken caravan. Grace stood to investigate, but before she could, a small ball of fluff rolled from the weeds and into the dusty path. A tiny kitten sat in front of her, squeaking for attention.
“Oh my god, look how sweet he is.” She moved to start petting the kitten and stroked its little head. The minute she touched him, he began purring, like he’d just found his voice.
Grace settled down in the dust and picked the kitten up, resting it in her lap.
Maddison and I looked at each other and then back to Grace. “What do we do?” Maddison asked.
“What do you mean?” She looked up, squinting in the sun.
“Shall we take it?” Maddison suggested.
“We can’t take it. It’s probably got a mummy cat somewhere,” I said.
“But look, Oliver. It’s so cute.” Maddison
crouched next to Grace, petting the kitten with her.
“Mum would go mental if we took a cat home.”
“Would she?” Grace looked up to me with hope written all over her face. She’d already thought about the kitten as hers, I could see it in her eyes. And in that moment, I’d do just about anything to be able to give it to her.
“Yeah, Oliver is right. Shall we go back?” Maddison kicked a few stones around, seemingly bored with the small thing that had all of Grace’s attention.
“We can’t leave him.” Grace’s voice cracked.
“We can’t take him. He’s small. And looks fine. He’s going to have a mummy cat somewhere,” I tried to reassure her, but tears were pooling in her eyes.
“You sure?” She looked at me for reassurance.
“I’m sure. Come on, let’s go now.”
Grace put the furry thing down, but it immediately started to cry at her. She stepped away, but the cat followed, wanting her to return and give him more love.
“Oliver, he’s following me. He wants to come home,” she whined.
“Will your mum let you have a kitten?”
“I don’t know.” Her voice quivered.
“Maddison, start riding back with Grace. I’ll make sure he doesn’t follow us.”
He nodded and lifted Grace’s bike from the dirt for her. She climbed on and looked at me as I held the kitten.
“Go!” I shouted to them. They both started to pedal back the way we’d come, a cloud of dust blurring them from sight.
“Right, little fluff ball. I know you want to go home with her, but you have to stay.”
The kitten squeaked at me, crying as if I’d taken away the best thing in the world. I knew how he felt.
“I’ll make a deal. If you’re still here in a week, I’ll come back. You’d be the best birthday present in the world for Grace. Deal?”
The kitten seemed to start purring as if happy with the deal. Of course, I had no idea if Grace would be allowed to keep him, but right now, all I wanted was to be the boy who gave his best friend the best gift ever on her birthday.
A week later, I sneaked out on my own and cycled to the same spot and waited at the falling-down gate. “Here, kitty kitty.” I sat down and made little kissy noises to encourage him out. Minutes passed, and the afternoon air began to chill as the evening drew in.
Grace had been moody since we’d left the kitten. She’d been quiet all the way home, and it made me feel helpless. She’d gone home and didn’t want to come out again like usual. Mum told me that sometimes girls needed some time to themselves and that it didn’t mean Grace didn’t like me anymore, but that I had to continue to show her I was the friend she needed me to be.
Even her birthday meal and chocolate cake at our house couldn’t bring her back to her usual self.
After that, it didn’t matter what her mum said. I had to get her that kitten.
I sat at the gate, calling for the cat for nearly two hours. Finally, a little mewl sounded in the bushes and another squeak. The little ball of fluff tumbled out of the grass again and rubbed up against my leg.
“Hey, little fella. Ready to go and make Grace smile?”
In the bottom of my rucksack was a small litter tray with an old towel, and two chipped tea-plates for food and water. I’d bought a can of cat food from the corner shop during the week. All that was missing was the cat.
I bundled him in my arms and gave him plenty of fuss before putting him in the bag and wrapping him in the towel. I pedalled home with care and headed right to Grace’s. It was a little later than I’d hoped, but it shouldn’t matter.
“Hi, Oliver. Everything okay?” She answered the door to me, and I couldn’t keep the smile from my face.
“Fine. Can I come in? I have a surprise for you.”
“Sure. Mum, Oliver is here,” she shouted out, as we headed straight up to her room.
I sat in my usual place and safely lowered the bag to the floor.
“What ya got?” Her eyes went straight to the bag I was so careful with.
“Oh, it’s a belated birthday present. Want to see?”
“Sure.” She scooted over and kneeled next to the bag.
I unzipped the backpack, and as soon as I did, she heard the little cry from the kitten.
“Have you got him? Really? For me?” The sparkle from her crystal-coloured eyes was back, and so was her smile—all big, wide, and filled with hope.
“Yeah. I don’t think he’s got any family. I went back to check. Do you like him?”
She picked him out of the bag and snuggled his black furry face. “I love him.” She leaned over and wrapped her arms around me with the kitten still in her hand. “Thank you,” she breathed against my neck.
When she finally let me go, I felt like the best friend I could ever be and nothing in the world could make me want to ruin that. “Is he going to be safe? You know, from your mum?”
“She’ll be okay.” But Grace was more interested in the black kitten than worrying about her mum.
“I’ve got you a few things. So that you can feed him and stuff.” I emptied the bag and arranged the items on the floor under her desk.
“Oliver, you’re brilliant. Thank you.”
All I needed as a thank you was the smile that lit up her face. “You’re welcome. What you gonna name him?”
“Bob.”
“Bob?” I question, shocked at the name.
“He’s a Bob. Aren’t you?” The kitten had curled up on Grace’s lap and made a nest, purring happily.
Happy Birthday, Grace.
Chapter 4
Maddison Ten Years Old
I hated Oliver for getting Bob for Grace. She loved that cat more than anything, which meant she loved Oliver as well, but that didn’t matter during the week because I still got to spend every day with her. We sat at the same table at school, and I made sure she was never alone in the playground. She was my responsibility now, and I wanted to show her that I could look out for her just as well as Oliver, if not better, because the other kids did as I told them. They didn’t stand up to me like they would have Oliver. I ruled the school now, which meant Grace was off-limits.
Grace was the only person in the world that stood a chance of closing the gap between Oliver and me. We always argued and fought over everything. When we were younger, it was just boisterous brotherly behaviour. But as we got older, we both knew it wasn’t, and that there was something deeper in the way. I resented that he was so smart and clever. School was easy for him, yet it was so damn hard for me. And I could see that he hated how popular I was at school, how I could find a friend in anyone while he struggled on his own.
And now, Grace.
She simultaneously brought us closer together—made us the friends that should have been easy as brothers—and put a wedge between us that sometimes I doubted could ever be bridged.
It was the final year of school together before moving to Oliver’s, and I wanted to make sure it counted. I called for Grace every morning and walked her home after school every afternoon. We had an easy friendship—messing about, climbing trees, and racing each other on the green.
Oliver suggested we go back to where we found Bob to climb the big oak tree. It meant ignoring the warning to ‘Keep Out’, but that was fine by me. It was the biggest tree around. The trunk was so huge, we all had to hold hands to form a ring around it. There was a knotted hollow in the bark on one side that gave us the footing to climb up to the first lower branch. I climbed the highest. Oliver tried to keep up, and I loved it when Grace joined in, but she mostly just sat under the shade.
She came out of her shell with me, and just being around her seemed to settle a part of me that had started to take control of my temper more and more. She gave me a sense of calm in my brain that I found hard to find elsewhere.
Some of my other friends from school didn’t know why I hung around with Grace so much. They were always inviting me over, but I made sure I saw them at times I wouldn
’t miss Grace.
Her netball team played after school on Tuesdays, so I’d play rugby on the field with friends until I could walk her home. She thought our clubs ended at the same time, and I let her believe it. And when she came to watch me play with my team, I felt invincible. My legs worked harder, my arms pumped faster, and my head was so focused on what I had to do, I was the best player on the field—all because I could feel her eyes on me.
I wanted that all of the time.
“Maddison Ray?” The teacher called my name, and I looked at her, wondering what she was going to say today. “We’re working on our group project this afternoon. You’ll need to move to their table.” She looked over to the corner where some of the other students had grouped for our science project.
“I can do it from here.” I was at Grace’s table and didn’t want to move.
“It’s not up for discussion. Please move.” She crossed her arms and stared at me. I gritted my teeth as hot rage rushed to my stomach and chest.
“It’s all right. We can catch up on the way home.” Grace’s hand touched my arm, and all the fury disappeared as if her touch had sucked it all away. Her eyes made me feel better, but I was still mad.
I kicked my chair back and dragged my feet over to the others. We were building model solar systems, and each team had to research the planets and make a display using different materials and craft stuff.
“What’s up with you,” Dylan huffed.
“Nothing.”
“Don’t say it’s because of Grace again. Is she your girlfriend now?” His voice went high-pitched at the end, and my anger was back.
Like a ball of fury I couldn’t control, I lashed out in frustration and shoved Dylan, hard. He fell off his chair and landed on the floor before giving me a dirty look.
“What do you think you’re doing, boys?”
I stopped myself from rolling my eyes. Getting into trouble wasn’t the plan, but it happened to follow me around. Another thing that Oliver seemed to be able to avoid.
The Two Halves of my Heart: A Friends-to-Lovers Romance Page 3