I’d always loved thunderstorms, watching the sky light up in a flash and listening for that roll of thunder after. But this took all the magic from those events. Being under those crashes and strikes made me feel tiny and insignificant and froze any courage I had from my earlier tree-climbing adventure.
“Oliver, what are you doing?”
“Get away. She needs to come down.”
The boys argued beneath me, and I squeezed my eyes shut, blocking everything out and imagined myself wrapped up in my covers with Bob.
“Grace, look at me.”
I squinted my eyes open, blinking back the rain now running over my face. Oliver’s popped up from the branch under the one I was glued too.
“Grace, we need you to come down. Just come to me and I’ll help you. It’s not safe in this tree,” he pleaded with me, and I knew he was right. But that didn’t mean my limbs would listen.
“Now, I’m going to put my hand out. Crawl forward and take it. Then you can climb onto the same branch as me, and we can go down together. Mads is at the bottom. You won’t fall. I promise.”
“I’m scared.”
“I know. But we’ve got to go. Or Mads will run back and get our mum.”
“No, no.” The thought of having Vivien, or worse, my mum having to pull me from the tree was the motivation I needed. I relaxed my hold and leaned forward until I could take Oliver’s hand.
I inched forward, shuffling along the bark until I was where he’d popped up. He let go of my hand so I could twist around and lower myself down to his position. My feet hit the branch, and I followed Oliver again until I put my feet in the knot and stumbled back towards the ground.
Maddison and Oliver grabbed hold of me, and we ran, them yanking my arms from their sockets, towards the gate. We scrambled over and raced off down the track, not worrying about running this time. My feet scuffed the mud and my hair whipped around my shoulders in long tendrils, heavy with water. We all arrived at my door, my lungs burning, and my throat tight from racing.
“Thank you,” I said. I paused, just for a moment to look at both of them. Rain dribbled over their faces from their flattened hair, both their t-shirts sticking to their skin like mine.
Maddison turned around and started running back home, but Oliver waited a second more. He nodded at me, urging me into the house, and I offered a weak smile. He wouldn’t move until I was safely inside. My gut trembled, and my lip quivered, wanting to burst into tears and hug him. He didn’t leave me.
A final nod and I did as he wanted. I closed the door behind me and raced upstairs to the bathroom before Mum could see me. Tears burned my icy skin as I stripped off and jumped in the shower. The heat scorched my hand as I tested the temperature, but I needed to thaw out.
“Grace?” Mum knocked on the bathroom door.
“In the shower. I got wet.” The door and the shower disguised the lump in my throat.
“Okay, then. Don’t leave your wet clothes on the floor.”
After the coast was clear, I pulled on a soft t-shirt and slipped under the fluffy covers of my bed, desperate to warm up. I twisted on my side and watched as the rain continued to lash the window. No more thunder. No more lightning.
I hid in my bedroom for the rest of the day. Embarrassment at what the boys must have thought prevented me from settling into a new book because I couldn’t concentrate. My mind replayed the noise of the first strike of lightning and roll of thunder, their faces, their voices.
The summer didn’t last forever, and we hadn’t had a chance to do any of the fun things we’d planned, and the one time we could have had a real adventure, I was trapped, scared stiff up a tree.
One day, I might be able to see the funny side, but right then, I still felt the shiver of cold rain droplets over my body.
Hours later, as I was finally drifting off to sleep, a tap sounded at my window, and then another. It came and went, not quite in a rhythm, but enough to annoy me into getting out of bed. I pulled back the curtain and stared out into the darkening night.
Oliver stood below my window, looking up at me and gesturing with his hands.
I cracked the window. “What do you want?” I whispered down to him. My mum’s room was at the back of the house, but it wasn’t like we lived in a big house with five bedrooms. She’d hear Oliver if he wasn’t careful.
“I wanted to check on you.”
“You could have tried the front door.”
“It’s too late for that. I couldn’t sleep. Can I come up?”
“To my bedroom?” I checked what he meant, because my mum, asleep in the room next to mine, would have a fit if she found Oliver in my room at eleven at night.
“Yeah.”
“No. Hang on. I’ll come to you.” I closed the window and looked around the room for an idea. The only way I could see this working was if I went to him. And after earlier, I wasn’t standing outside in the middle of the night.
I crept out of the room and tiptoed down the stairs. The under-stairs cupboard had a couple of old sleeping bags, so I grabbed them and opened up the front door, throwing one at Oliver.
“What are these for?” he whispered back through the night.
“So we don’t get cold.”
The green would still be soaked from all the rain, so I sat down and wriggled into the sleeping bag and lay down on the drive. With the padding from the covers, it wasn’t bad. Oliver followed my lead, and we both lay, our heads nearly touching, staring up at the sky.
Silence fell between us as if we were waiting to see if the coast was really clear. With only the gentle and rhythmic rustle from the nearby trees, everything else was peaceful.
“You didn’t need to check on me,” I said, keeping my eyes gazing up at the sky.
“You looked upset. And when you didn’t come around when it cleared up, I got worried.”
“It took a while to warm up. I was frozen when we came home.”
“I know. We were, too. Mum wasn’t too impressed. She stopped us from coming to see you. Which is why I had to sneak out.”
“I’m sorry you got into trouble because of me.” I felt like the silly girl who couldn’t keep up with the boys again.
“We’re not in trouble. Well, I’m not. Maddison got mad and is grounded for a few days. But we’ll be back out and playing in no time.”
Our conversation quietened, and I was happy just to stay snuggled in the sleeping bag and look up at the stars.
“There’s so many of them.”
“You see that one with the brighter stars? It looks like a saucepan. It’s called the big dipper.”
“Really?” I traced the line of stars with my finger to the sky.
“Yeah. We learned it at Scouts on a camping trip.”
“Maybe there are worlds like the ones we read about with dragons and elves and wizards on the stars.”
“Maybe,” Oliver said.
We grew silent again, happy with our stargazing. A calm filled me as the time ticked on. Like resetting the mood of the day by simply being with Oliver.
“I should go before Mum notices I’m missing.”
“Be careful. I don’t want both of you grounded.” I turned to look at Oliver and met his eyes.
“I promise I’ll be careful. Will you come out tomorrow?”
“If it’s not raining.”
“Deal.”
I watched Oliver’s shadow slink off into the dark and dumped the sleeping bags in the front room. They could wait. By the time I got back to my bed, exhaustion greeted me and helped me fall straight to sleep.
Chapter 6
Grace Eleven Years Old
After the storm and the week of rain, summer finally arrived. But it went by in a flash. One minute, we were praying for sun, and then next, after it finally came out to play, it was the final few days before the start of secondary school. I was being dragged from shop to shop to complete my uniform list and getting more nervous by the day.
I hadn’t seen any of the ot
her people from my class all summer. I didn’t need to because all I wanted was Oliver and Maddison. And soon, there wouldn’t even be school to get in our way. It would be all of us together again. But as I thought the words, the truth to them seemed feeble and weak.
The brothers were my best friends in the whole world, but their tolerance for each other was fragile. The spats had continued, and a handful of fights had occurred, each one more vicious and more drawn-out than the last. And with each one, it forced a fracture down my heart because I didn’t want to have to divide the time I had between them. We did a little of that when it rained, and it never ended well.
I wanted us to all get along. Happy to have each other’s company and enjoy it without fights. I didn’t want to be stuck in the middle, playing the referee, or worse, choosing between which one I’d spend time with.
When we made that pact to be best friends, I believed it meant our friendship was ironclad and would be strong enough to withstand anything we’d face next year. That’s how I’ve always felt about us, but now the time was nearly here to put that theory to the test, doubt began to creep into my faith.
The morning of the first day came around, and I said goodbye to Bob as if I might never come back. The welcome knock on the front door made me forget my fears because I opened it to see both Oliver and Maddison waiting for me.
“Ready?” Maddison asked, with a grin on his face. Oliver was waiting just behind him. It seemed as if Maddison had grown another foot overnight. He towered over Oliver now, despite Oliver being two years older.
All I could do was nod and grasp the strap of my bag a little tighter. Maddison put his hand out for me, and I reached out to clasp it. The moment we touched, my body flooded with his confidence. It warmed me from the inside and instilled a strength within me that I needed today. He all but pulled me out of the house, and we walked along the road towards the bus stop. Not once did he let go of my hand. I risked a glance at Oliver, who kept his eyes downcast.
It wasn’t the same for him. He was going back to his friends and teachers he knew. All of this was new to us, and at that moment, I couldn’t help but feel closer to Maddison.
Amongst the flood of other kids arriving at school, the three of us made a stand and entered together. In the swarm, I recognised a couple of the girls from our class at primary school. They offered timid smiles, and I twitched my lips in response. Maddison had held my hand tightly in his grip the whole way here, and I’d anticipated he’d drop the contact as soon as we were in sight of the school gates, but he didn’t, and now I could feel the hum of everyone’s eyes on us.
Oliver veered off towards a group of older, and much bigger students. They offered him smiles and handclasps, and it struck me then, that Oliver had his own set of friends that wouldn’t be ours. That our bubble of three, which we’d lived in for the summer, wouldn’t last in school and would be well and truly popped.
The first day went by in a blur of conflicting emotions. And it wasn’t just coping with the start of a new school. It was overwhelming, all the new people, teachers, and possible friends.
As those first days passed, the new routines became a distraction from the war that waged inside of my head. One minute I was happy that Oliver had friends he wanted to be with, the next, I hated that he’d moved on without Maddison or me. And I yo-yoed similarly with my feelings towards Maddison. He was happy to be my saviour on the first day, but when he realised that his popularity could reach an all-time high here, he soon found himself the centre of attention, and there was little room for me beside him.
What I thought would bring us all together, actually drove us further apart, and so I did the only thing I could—I studied and worked hard.
“Hey, are you coming to the party tonight?” Maddison asked as we left English together.
“No. I don’t think it’s really my thing.”
“How would you know, you’ve never been to a party,” he said accusingly.
His remark cut down my confidence, probably because it was true. “Who’s going?”
“Just some of the people from our year.”
“So, Oliver won’t be there?” I knew what Maddison was like. He was the most popular boy in our year and had a host of friends desperate to be by his side. If Oliver weren’t there, I’d be bored and forgotten about in five minutes.
“No, why would we want Oliver at our party?”
“We’ve not spent a lot of time together recently. That’s all.”
“Come on, Grace. Oliver has his own friends. We don’t need him.”
“Don’t say that. He’s your brother.”
“So?” He huffed as if he didn’t understand my point.
“So, you shouldn’t treat him like you do. Why don’t we give the party a miss? Just do something on our own?” It had been weeks since the three of us just hung out. Now, it was hard to spend time with both of them. We all wanted different things, and with winter approaching fast, there would be even less time.
“And I suppose you want Oliver to come along?”
“Forget it.” I brushed past Maddison and headed towards my next lesson. He never got it. Neither of them did, but it didn’t help me work out how to keep them both as my friends without hurting or upsetting the other.
I felt Maddison watching me until I turned the corner and crossed to my art class. Sometimes it felt like we were in our own private battle. It was just never clear who was fighting whom, or for what.
“Hey, Grace.”
“Oliver!” I jumped as I left art class. “What are you doing?”
“I thought I’d walk with you to lunch.”
“Thank you.”
We walked to the next building where we ate our sandwiches in the cafeteria.
“Do you want to come around tonight? Watch a film or something?” I asked, not wanting to bring up the idea of a party.
“Sure. You’re not going to the party?”
“No.” The one thing that Oliver never did was push. He let me talk if I wanted, but he also didn’t ask more questions than I was comfortable with. “Will you tell Maddison?” The minute I’d asked him, I felt like I’d suggested something that should be kept a secret.
“That I’m seeing you? No. It will only make him mad.”
“Why can’t we all just be friends?” My question came out as more of a plea, but whatever.
“We are. That won’t ever change.”
“I used to believe that,” I confessed, not so sure anymore. My faith in our friendship had only lasted a matter of weeks.
“Don’t worry. We aren’t going anywhere.” Oliver sounded so certain, but all I felt was us slipping apart.
“How can you be so sure?”
“I’m older, so naturally, I’m smarter than you. I’ll see you later.” He got up and headed out of the cafeteria, but not before leaving his strawberries on my lunchbox for me.
“Are you sure? Mum will pick us up. It will be fun.” Maddison tried one last time on the bus home from school, but I was sure. Parties weren’t for me.
“Maybe next time.” I glanced past him to where Oliver was concentrating on his phone, although I suspected he was listening.
Maddison turned away, and I ignored the little blip my heart gave at how disappointed he looked. I told myself over and over that it wouldn’t be fun, and he’d forget all about me as soon as he was with all his school friends, but there was a niggle in the back of my mind that imagined him looking out for me and wanting me to be by his side the entire time.
On unsteady feet, I got up and moved to the front of the bus just before it stopped so I was off first, and I didn’t wait for either of them. I shouldn’t be upset about anything, after all, it was my decision not to go to the party, but I couldn’t help feeling like all my choices were either Oliver or Maddison.
I stormed into the house and raced to my bedroom, disturbing Bob as I dived on to my bed. He wasn’t put out and pushed up around my hair that fanned out over the pillow. His small meow
s and persistent attention forced me to roll over, allowing him to make a warm nest next to me. “School isn’t all that I thought it might be, Bob.”
His saucer-eyes just stared up at me, before he burrowed in closer as if he was seeking warmth.
A few hours later, the knock at the door even failed to bring a smile to my face.
“Grace!” Mum called from downstairs, and I moved Bob from his warm spot and went down to see Oliver.
“Mum, can we watch a film?”
“Sure, honey.” I led the way into the front room and passed Oliver the remote.
“You pick.”
“Seriously? You hate my picks.” Oliver pressed half a dozen buttons and started scanning down a list of options on Netflix.
“Well, you don’t love mine either. It’s your turn.”
He picked a superhero film that didn’t totally suck, and let me, and my bad mood, be. I could feel each time he glanced at me to check I was enjoying it. It was like the side of my body began to tingle, nervous under his gaze.
Even before the film ended, I couldn’t keep the yawns at bay, and I wished for nothing more than to go to bed and sleep through tomorrow.
“You okay?” he asked.
“Sure. Just tired.” I kept my eyes on the screen and hoped he would buy the excuse.
“I can go. We can watch the end another time?”
“No, it’s nearly over. Sorry I’ve not been much fun.” I shouldn’t have been miserable, but there was always tension when I was with Maddison or Oliver alone. Like having only two points of our triangular friendship upset our balance. I’d rather us all be able to get along together.
Oliver didn’t say anything else for the rest of the film, and there was a distinct awkwardness between us. It was the last thing I wanted. He was my best friend, along with Maddison. Without them, I’d be relegated to spending my days alone and avoiding people, which was my comfortable state. Making friends—having friends, wasn’t natural like it was for Maddison, and I preferred my own company. Alone in my room with my fantasy books, born from the made-up stories that Oliver and I had created when we were younger. Many of the girls had grown bored of my limited interactions and lukewarm enthusiasm for whatever they were into or wanted to do. Sometimes, I thought there was something wrong with me—that I wasn’t normal. But it was just that my normal was a little different to some. That was a really hard thought to cling to when falling asleep at night or trying to get through another day of school.
The Two Halves of my Heart: A Friends-to-Lovers Romance Page 5