“It’s the same way the house in California was wired. Two parameters, although the first was simply an alert. It’s the second that was intended to trigger the detonation.”
“Didn’t you say that bomb was programmed to detonate at three in the morning?”
“Only as a backup.”
“What do you mean?”
“When Losha stepped over the threshold of the stairwell, the device should have detonated.”
“Jesus, it was a mistake?”
“I’m afraid so, sir.”
I thought back to the way I’d walked the cottage on Butler Ranch, checking each entrance, all the windows, and finally, the basement. I hadn’t done so at the beach house. “He expected me to stay. I was supposed to be the one who crossed the second parameter.”
Pimm nodded.
“Shiv? Are you ready?” asked Wilder.
“Radios?”
“Affirmative,” said Pinch, handing me a headset.
“Is the communication system functional?”
“Completely.”
Rivet had delivered more than I’d asked for, and while I appreciated it, whether I could forgive the man for his lies by omission, remained to be seen. If I had to make a decision today, I wouldn’t just leave MI6 and SIS; I fully intended to leave the UK entirely—once Losha, Kazmir, and Darrow were safe, and Matthew Caird was either apprehended or dead. Admittedly, I’d prefer the latter.
I looked into Pimm’s eyes and put my hand on the man’s shoulder. “My son is in there.”
Pimm nodded. “Go get him.”
We’d agreed that Pinch would go in through the basement, Wilder would stand at the ready near the front door, and I would gain access through the back door of the house.
At my signal, Pinch would cut the main power from the electrical box in the basement and the lights would go out. At that point, I would be close enough to take the man down, neutralizing him by whatever means necessary.
All three of us activated our night vision devices and waited for me to give the signal to go.
I took a deep breath, knowing this was the single-most important op of my life. Nothing that had come before and nothing that might come after would ever be of equal measure to saving the lives of my child, the woman who held my heart, and my sister.
With a nod of my head, we each went in a different direction. In less than a minute, I was inside, listening to my sister tell the man who threatened all their lives that the estate he claimed as his rightful inheritance would soon belong to the crown. Her voice sounded confident and condescending, rattling the man just enough to distract him.
I crept through the mudroom and kitchen, like the ghost I was known to be. I stopped less than five feet from Caird, who had no idea I was within killing range.
I pressed a button on the headset, which sent the message to Pinch to kill the house’s power.
40
Losha
Before the end of my prayer, I knew it had been answered. I couldn’t see or even hear Shiver, but I felt him. He was here, inside, ready to act. With one arm, I secured Kazmir as close to my body as I could. I rested my other hand on the sofa, near Darrow, touching the side of her leg with my pinky.
Darrow blinked three times, letting me know she was on alert.
Within seconds, the electricity in the house was cut and the lights went out.
“Down,” I stated simply as Darrow and I slid off the sofa and to the floor. I covered Kazmir’s tiny body with mine as I listened to the scuffle that ensued, holding my breath in anticipation of gunfire. Instead, I heard the sound of the gun hitting the floor, followed by the thud of a body doing the same.
The lights came on, and I looked into the most beautifully haunting green-gray eyes I’d ever seen. Silently, Shiver helped me stand while Wilder came in and did the same with Darrow. I watched as Pinch came in from behind us and approached the body of the man who had come so close to killing us all.
“There’s a pulse,” I heard him murmur as Shiver led Kazmir and me out the front door.
“You didn’t kill him?”
“No,” he answered simply. “Should I have? I don’t know,” he whispered, asking and answering his own question.
I couldn’t say why I wouldn’t have wanted him to, other than I’d do everything to keep my baby boy as far from death as I could.
Once we were outside, beyond the pathway that led from the house, I let the sob loose that I’d held inside since I first saw the barrel of a gun pointed at Darrow. A floodgate of tears opened as I clung to Shiver and our baby.
“Shh,” he whispered, holding me and Kazmir close. “You’re safe. It’s over now, Losha.”
“Let’s go, Shiv,” said Wilder, escorting us along with Pinch and Darrow to a waiting van.
Once inside, we followed another vehicle off the estate grounds. I could tell by the lights reflected in the snow that there was at least one vehicle following us, maybe more.
“What happened to him?” Darrow asked Pinch.
“He’s in custody.”
“Where are we going?”
“Somewhere safe,” he answered.
I closed my eyes and put my hand on Shiver’s, both resting near the heart of our son. I was so grateful we weren’t staying at the abbey. No matter how many people reassured me otherwise, I wouldn’t feel safe.
“Rivet reports we have the entire Lanesborough booked.”
I felt Shiver tense.
“Go to the Connaught instead,” he instructed his brother.
Wilder nodded.
“Shiv, I’m so sorry—”
“Not now, Pinch.”
I wanted to defend Pinch’s actions, take responsibility for him staying behind when Darrow and I left Wellie’s cottage.
Whether the outcome of what we’d gone through would’ve been any different, didn’t matter. There was a chance that if Pinch had been with us, we’d all be dead. But Pinch didn’t answer to me; he answered to Shiver, whose direct orders he’d gone against.
The convoy of vehicles entered through the rear garage entrance. The cars that led and followed pulled up on either side of the elevator bank, while the van we were in pulled directly in front. Shiver took my hand and escorted me out of the vehicle and then stepped back inside to get Kazmir from the car seat someone had thought to have installed. My guess was that it had been Rivet, or someone acting on his orders, and while I appreciated it, I knew now also wasn’t the time to ask Shiver why he was making decisions contrary to those made by his boss.
We rode the elevator in silence, and when it reached the top floor, Shiver led me to the right while Darrow, Pinch, and Wilder went in the opposite direction.
Another elevator pinged, and four SIS personnel exited, followed shortly thereafter by another ping and more agents taking various positions on the floor.
“Come, Losha,” Shiver said, opening the door to a suite and leading me through the entry and to a chair where I sat and held our sleeping baby.
Once again I broke down, but this time my tears silently slid down my cheeks.
Every few minutes, Shiver would go to the door and I’d hear him directing where the items being delivered were to be placed.
After a while, I dozed off, still sitting in the same chair, still holding our sleeping baby.
I slept on and off for at least an hour, maybe longer, and then stood and carried Kazmir into another room of the suite. I didn’t see Shiver right away, but when I heard his voice catch, I found him sitting near the window.
“Shiver?”
He turned his head away from me and brought his hand to his face.
“Kazmir wants his daddy,” I said, barely able to hold the baby who was reaching out for him.
“Not now, Losha.”
I walked closer and eased the baby onto his lap, so Shiver had no choice but to take him.
“I can’t do this,” he said.
“What can’t you do?”
Shiver stood and handed Kazmir b
ack to me. The baby immediately began to cry, arching his back and reaching again for his father.
I watched him walk to the other side of the room and come to a stop. “I’m leaving tonight.”
“I don’t understand.”
He shook his head but didn’t turn around. “I’m sure you will after some time.”
“I will not.”
Shiver spun around. “I didn’t protect either of you. I brought danger to you. You both could’ve been killed twice, solely because of me.”
“You saved us.”
“No, Losha. Matthew was there to kill me, both in California and then at the abbey. It was only by the grace of God that he didn’t murder you and Kazmir instead. I cannot stay. I cannot be a part of your lives. It’s too dangerous.”
He walked to the door and opened it, pausing before stepping over the threshold. “I’ll make arrangements for you to have everything you need. Wherever you choose to live, everything will be paid for. You’ll never want for money, Losha.” He hesitated and took a deep breath. “I’m sorry. Please know that I will love you both forever.”
He walked out, and the door closed behind him as our baby boy wailed, “Dada!”
“Darrow, I need you to watch Kazmir,” I said when Shiver’s sister answered my call. “I’ll bring him to you.”
“Of course. What’s going on?”
“I need to find Shiver.”
“What do you mean?”
“He’s left us, and I need to find him.”
“I’ll come to you if it’s easier.”
I looked about the room. Shiver had made arrangements for a crib and changing table to be delivered along with a portable crib, a high chair, diapers, food, and clothing. “It would be easier.”
A few minutes later, I heard a knock at the door. When I looked through the peephole, I saw Wilder and Pinch were with Darrow.
“I’m sorry about Shiv,” said Wilder once they were inside. “I won’t make excuses, but I know he blames himself.”
“Thank you. I understand how he’s feeling; I would feel the same way myself. To a certain extent, I already do. If I hadn’t insisted you stay and talk to your father, what might have happened?” I said to Pinch. “And if I had let Shiver know I was pregnant straightaway, not kept the baby from him, how would things have worked out differently? And what if Pimm hadn’t been able to diffuse the explosives tonight, what would have happened then?” I shook my head. “We have no way of knowing what may or may not have happened. None of us.”
The three people standing in front of me nodded.
“Where is he?”
“To be honest, I have no idea,” said Wilder.
“Me neither,” added Pinch.
“I have a guess,” said Darrow.
“Where?” asked her brother.
“He has unfinished business.”
“Right. He’s with Rivet and the duchess.”
41
Shiver
I walked from the hotel to the Kensington flat. With every step, I fought my body’s urge to turn around and return to Losha and our baby. The sound of my little boy crying out for me echoed in my head, breaking my heart.
Since the day I’d first met Losha, I’d begun the process that inevitably put her at risk, not just once, but many times.
I’d known she was right, that our relationship was dangerous for her, but I’d insisted, showing up where I knew she’d be, arranging secret trysts.
The bounty placed on her head by United Russia was because of me too; they’d believed she was a double agent, in part due to my relentless pursuit of her.
When the bounty was lifted, I’d been intransigent in my determination to find her, and while I knew I shouldn’t, I insisted on spending time with her and her baby, even when I’d believed Kazmir was another man’s child.
The entire time, Losha’s wishes had remained the same. The only thing she’d wanted was to keep her baby safe.
I’d vowed to protect them and did the opposite. Not only had I endangered their lives, but also that of my own sister.
I was a failure as a father, a man, and a brother. I had no right to ask Losha’s forgiveness any more than I could remain in the employ of MI6.
Once I saw Rivet and resigned, and issued an ultimatum to my mother regarding my son and siblings, I’d create a new life for myself. I certainly knew how to do it in a way that no one would ever be able to find me.
I was buzzed into the building without a word. When I exited the elevator on the top floor, both the duchess and Rivet stood waiting.
“Thornton,” my mother cried, charging forward to embrace me. “Will you ever forgive me? I’ve been out of my mind with worry… There is no excuse…”
I took her arms that were around my neck and moved them to her sides. “Let’s go inside,” I said, nodding at Rivet.
“I’m leaving,” I said after telling them to be seated.
“Before I ask where you’re going, I’d like to thank you for not killing Matthew. While he wasn’t my biological son, I was still the man who raised him,” said Rivet.
“As far as Matthew is concerned, don’t thank me. I honestly don’t know why I didn’t kill the bastard. In terms of where I’m going, I don’t know where yet, and when I do, no one else will.”
Rivet nodded. “Understood.”
“As is obvious, I’m resigning my position with MI6.” I turned to my mother. “However, that does not mean I intend to spend any time whatsoever at Whittaker Abbey. When I’m ready, I’ll have a discussion with Wilder and Darrow as to their wishes about it.”
“And what am I to do?”
“Should we decide to relinquish the estate, it will be with the stipulation that you’ll be allowed to live out your days in the abbey.”
“Thornton—”
I held up my hand. “I have nothing else to say on the matter.”
“Can you ever forgive me?”
“I am unable to say so definitively.”
The duchess began to cry.
“You suggested to me that my beloved son was somehow a sin. I cannot reconcile those words with the woman who raised me.”
“Thornton, I beg you—that’s not what I meant.”
“Yet that’s what you said, and I find it unforgivable.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means, Duchess, that for all intents and purposes, my mother died the same day my father did.”
When I turned to leave, there, standing just inside the door, was Losha. I had no idea how she’d gained entry or how much she’d heard of what I’d said to my mother or to Rivet.
“Excuse us,” I said, taking her arm and leading her out of the flat. “What are you doing here?”
“I would think that’s obvious.”
“I said all I had to say back at the hotel.”
“I’m sure you did.”
“Well, then.” I pressed the button for the lift, and when it arrived, we both stepped inside.
She stood in front of the control panel and hit the emergency button when the door closed, bringing the lift to a stop. “Now you’ll listen to what I have to say.”
“Losha—”
“No, Shiver. You’ll listen, for now the tables have turned.”
“What does that mean?”
“Simply put, if you walk away, I’ll come after you. If you hide from me, I’ll find you. I’m never letting you go, Shiver. That’s a promise I intend to keep for the rest of my life.”
“What if I refuse?”
“I won’t accept it.”
“Why not?”
“Because I love you. Why did you make the same promise to me?”
“Because I love you.”
“Our son said his first word today. He said ‘Dada.’”
“I heard him, and my heart nearly broke.”
“You cannot leave us. You can’t. We’re a family, Shiver. Let us be a family.”
My shoulders fell forward, and Losha put her arms around
me.
“Losha, how can you forgive me? How can I forgive myself?”
“By being the best parents we can be to Kazmir, by loving each other no matter what, for the rest of our lives.”
“Will that be enough?”
She put her palms on each side of my face. “That is everything. There is nothing more than love, Shiver.”
I held her tight to me, praying she was right, praying that she’d find a way to forgive me for not keeping her and our son safe. And more, praying I could forgive myself.
“There’s one more thing I need from you, although it won’t change the promise I just made to you.”
“What’s that?”
“I need you to forgive your mother.”
“Losha—”
“Hear me out.”
I nodded.
“If you don’t forgive her, then we can’t raise our son, or any other children we have, at Whittaker Abbey.”
“I never dreamed you’d want to.”
“I do.”
“Why?”
“I want our children to grow up surrounded by people who love them. I want them to learn all about the place that has been handed down through your family for generations. I want them to know Wellie and Darrow and Wilder and Pinch, and even your mother. Someday, I want them to know where I came from too.”
“The duchess…”
“Deserves the same forgiveness the rest of us do.”
“You don’t know—”
“I do.”
“How can you forgive her, then?”
“Isn’t Kazmir worth forgiving everything, Shiver?”
“I have one request of you.”
“Anything.”
I smiled.
“Well? What?” she asked when I reached around her and hit the lift’s button to take us back to the top floor.
“Come with me,” I said, pulling her back to the flat. I knocked and then entered without waiting for either the duchess or Rivet to answer the door.
“Thornton?” said my mother, still seated where she’d been when we walked out.
The Duke and the Assassin (The Royal Agents of MI6 Book 1) Page 18