We all laughed politely at his lame joke.
“I don’t think Jenny meant marbles literally, just as a concept,” Blanche said.
“Thanks, Blanche,” Jenny said. “Yes, that’s exactly what I mean, the concept of marbles means something you slip and fall over. We sure as hell know how to make hardened robots. Look at the stuff we send to the military. They don’t break down till they blow themselves up. I’m not thinking about an explosive bot, just one that’s low to the ground, moves fast, and is too heavy to pick up and throw at somebody. We can call it a ‘marble bot.’ Think about our Groundhog attack robot that we sell to the Army. The thing is low to the ground, moves like a scared rat, and will trip anyone in its way. Of course that bot is really a robotic bomb, but the idea is the same. Something low, heavy, and fast. It can be controlled remotely, of course, because we don’t want the thing tripping the wrong people.”
“Great,” I said. “Let’s put that on our product development list and we’ll brainstorm it with the engineers.”
“And let’s not forget good old helicopter drones,” Blanche said. “The problem with tear gas is that you can see the canister coming. How about we put a substance into a bunch of drones that makes people sneeze. It’s hard to be violent if you’re sneezing your brains out.” Blanche has been morphing from PR executive to a key member of our creative team, and we just saw the new her in action.
“Let me propose this,” I said. “We’ll go into hard core creative mode and brainstorm the hell out of the ideas we’ve come up with as well as stuff we haven’t thought about yet. George, give us two weeks and then we’ll make a presentation of our ideas, showing you the good and bad points for each possibility.”
Commissioner George left, with a big smile on his face, a lot happier than when he first showed up. I was thinking about the other applications we might have for just the two ideas we discussed. “Marble Bot?” Great idea.
Chapter Nine
“Good evening ladies and gentlemen, I’m Matt Stroud, your host for our new show, The Book. I’ve got some great news. When our show first hit the air last month, a lot of pundits said it would never make it. People are reading fewer books, so why would they want to watch a TV show all about reading books? Well, the public is proving the pundits wrong. Our ratings, I’m happy to report, are through the roof. The first segment for tonight’s show, as we’ve done for the past few weeks, is all about a book that was chosen by our panel of readers. It’s a debut novel by author Nigel Weill entitled Opening the Frontier. The 488-page book has gotten rave reviews and hit The New York Times Best Seller Fiction List at number one. Let’s see what our distinguished panel thinks about this debut novel. Mary Patterson, professor of history at Columbia University, will kick off the segment.”
“It’s hard to believe that this is Weill’s debut novel,” Mary Patterson said. “After I read the book I thought, ‘Where has this guy been?’ The novel is a perfect blend of historical fiction, taking up on Frederick Jackson Turner’s thesis of the closing of the American frontier, along with some wild science fiction in the form of time travel. His characters are perfectly developed and the plot gallops along at a wonderful pace. I give this book five stars.”
“Hi, I’m Jim Fleist, a best-selling novelist if I do say so myself, and a big fan of other novelists. I warn anybody who reads this wonderful book to take some Dramamine before reading it because the plot twists feel like a roller coaster. I just can’t believe this is his debut novel. The author is a new star on the literary horizon, and I can’t wait for his next book.”
Stroud introduced a total of six panelists, all of whom raved about Nigel Weill’s book.
“Although I’m the host,” Stroud said, “I have to weigh in and say that I agree with our all-star panel. Opening the Frontier is one great book. From characters to plot, to subplots, to a dynamite ending, I loved this book. It sounds trite to say, but I couldn’t put it down. I have a surprise for our panelists, however, as well as for our viewing audience. I’ll spring the surprise right after this brief commercial break.”
***
“Welcome back to The Book, ladies and gentlemen. Before the break I promised you a surprise and I won’t keep you waiting. This wonderful book that we’ve been discussing was not written by a human being.”
A natural showman as well as a book lover, Stroud kept his mouth shut and let his words linger—“not written by a human being.”
The camera surveyed the faces of the panelists after he said that. Pure confusion and disbelief. If a caption was placed on the screen it would be, “What did he just say?”
“Opening the Frontier,” ladies and gentlemen, was written 100 percent by a robot, an artificial intelligence computer named Angus, developed by the AI and robot giant, Robot Depot. The name Nigel Weill is a pseudonym. I hope none of our panelists feel embarrassed, because I was right there with them. I thought the book was wonderful and I enjoyed reading every word of it. I only wish we could interview the author, but how do you interview a machine?”
“Was this Angus machine given an outline to work from?” Mary Patterson asked.
“I’m told that the robot was given only one thing, the title,” Stroud said. “After that, there was no human intervention. Angus wrote the book, cover to cover. And get this. He did his own research, proofreading, line editing, and developmental editing.”
“I feel like the earth has just shifted under my feet,” said Pat Morgan, one of the panelists. “I’m trying to figure out what this means. What are the ramifications of a robot writing a book, not to mention performing all of the normal editorial services? What does it mean for agents and acquisition editors? What does it mean for the entire publishing industry?”
“Ladies and gentlemen, the publishing industry has gone through enormous changes in the past few years, beginning with the Kindle electronic reader and the explosive growth in self-published books. But those changes are nothing compared to what we’ve heard tonight. We’re about out of time, but let me say this. I’m the host of a book show, and therefore I don’t like to say overly dramatic things. However, I think it’s fair to say that tonight we’ve seen a new page in the history of literature.”
Chapter Ten
“Welcome to The Book, ladies and gentlemen. I’m your host, Matt Stroud. The Book is your show to watch for everything and anything concerning the wonderful world of books. Whether they’re paperback, hardcover, or electronic, books make the world go around. We’re calling last week’s program The Show that Freaked out the World. We’re calling it that because it’s the truth. We freaked out the world, including your humble host. A big part of the show is on YouTube, so if you missed it, check it out. On that show our panel of experts reviewed a debut novel by a Mr. Nigel Weill. All six panelists loved the book, and so did I. It’s number one on The New York Times Bestseller List. Not bad for a debut novel. But, as I announced to the about-to-be-freaked-out world that night, the wonderful book, Opening the Frontier, was written by a robot, an artificial intelligence computer named Angus. Nigel Weill is the machine’s pseudonym. The only information that Angus was given was the title of the book. A lot of people didn’t believe it and some still don’t. My announcement, as I said, signaled a new page in the history of literature.
“We have a special guest on tonight’s show, a man who is world famous, the CEO of Robot Depot, the company that created the robot which (or should I say who?) wrote the book. Mike Bateman will tell us about the future of publishing as he sees it. Welcome to The Book, Mike, and tell us a bit about the new world we find ourselves in.”
“Thanks for inviting me to your show, Matt.” I said. “Like you, we’ve received mountains of mail, both paper letters and email. Some people see us as an evil force out to ruin civilization. I see us as the opposite, a positive force out to improve our lives. I think that budding novelists are especially upset. So a guy sits at his desk and figures, ‘here I am near the end of my first novel which I hope will be a bi
g success, and along comes a damn robot and beats me to the finish line.’ But I invite people to see the positive side of this event. Angus, the machine that wrote the book, is a natural outgrowth of the science of artificial intelligence or AI. We’ve read all about Watson, the IBM computer that defeated two high winning Jeopardy contestants, and Deep Blue, another IBM computer that defeated chess champion Garry Kasparov. Our development team that created Angus did much the same thing that the IBM programmers did. We poured an enormous amount of information into the program, including texts about the art of writing novels. A novel has a structure, and numerous studies have been done on just how that structure should be followed, with plenty of leeway, of course, for creativity. It’s the same with TV sitcoms. They follow a pattern, and good writers know the successful patterns and follow them. How about crime novels, where the detective tries to convince the chief detective to let him find the bad guy? The chief detective gives him 48 hours to find the villain, rescue the kid, or stop an explosion. These are patterns that we see over and over. Stephen King said that stories are like fossils, and the writer’s job is to unearth them. So think of Angus as a fossil hunter. He—I can’t help calling Angus by the personal pronoun—found a wonderful fossil in the Opening the Frontier, and made the most of it, just as any good novelist would. So the creation of Angus isn’t a negative event for anybody, including writers. I’m going to predict that Angus will result in better writing from real live authors. If it’s okay with you, Matt, I’d like to make the announcement about the upcoming joint effort between your show, The Book, and Robot Depot.”
“Mike we’re going to take a commercial break and then make the big announcement.”
A small robot wheeled before the camera and said, “Don’t touch the dial folks, because you’re about to hear some exciting news. We’ll be back shortly.”
***
After the commercial break, the announcement robot again wheeled up to the camera.
“Welcome back, folks. Let’s hear it for our host Matt Stroud. He’s a real human being.”
Stroud leaned over to Mike Bateman and whispered, “This fucking robot is becoming a pain in the ass.”
“Hey, it was your producer’s idea.”
“Welcome back to The Book, friends. If you’re just joining us, the handsome fellow to my right is none other than Mike Bateman, CEO of Robot Depot. He spoke about the amazing AI machine they developed called Angus, a machine that wrote a best-selling novel. Mike is now going to tell us about an exciting joint venture between Robot Depot and our show. I’ve been told in confidence that the plan does not include replacing your charming host with a robot. Mike, tell us the news.”
“Matt, as I was saying before the break, we at Robot Depot see the advent of a novel-writing robot as a positive development, and not one that will replace budding novelists out there. We’re planning a month-long competition called Write the Book. Most new novelists are familiar with the annual NaNoWriMo, which stands for National Novel Writing Month, an event that runs through the month of November. The idea is to write the first draft of a novel, at least 50,000 words, during that month. You can check your progress on their website. Write the Book will be similar, with one big exception. The participants will be in groups of 50, and each group will include one writing robot. After the initial month, each participant will have another month to rewrite the first draft. At the end of the second month, all participants are encouraged to submit a completed manuscript electronically. Robot Depot will then submit all of the manuscripts to the acquisitions editor at the top five publishing houses. Whether the manuscript was written by a human being or a robot will not be disclosed to the publishers. Sixty days after submission, the publishing companies will select as many manuscripts as they desire to publish, along with a publishing contract for the author. Because the publishers can go forward with as many books as they want, the participants don’t have to worry about a robot walking off with the only prize.”
“Mike we have a question from a caller on line one. Go ahead, Bill from Rochester.”
“Who designed this competition, Robot Depot or The Book?”
“Over 90 percent of the idea is from the people who produce this TV show.” I said. “Robot Depot doesn’t know a lot about publishing, so that’s why we’ve teamed up with these folks. I should add that if one or more of our robots wins publishing contracts, we will donate all advances and royalties to creative writing programs at universities to be announced.”
“Janice Newcomb from New Jersey is on line two,” Stroud said. “Go ahead, Janice.”
“Where do literary agents fit into all of this?” she asked. “It seems like a manuscript is going from the author to the publisher without an agent in the middle.”
“Authors without agents are nothing new,” I said. “The explosion of
self-publishing over the past few years has nailed that concept. Will there be a future for literary agents when acquisition editors get used to receiving manuscripts directly from authors? Only time will tell. If the growth of novel writing continues, publishers are going to need help from experienced agents just to wade through the manuscripts.”
“The competition begins next month, so start brainstorming on your next story,” Stroud said. “That’s all for tonight, folks. I’ll sign off by saying, Write the Book.”
Chapter Eleven
“Mayday, Mayday, Mayday, this is the trawler Andiamo five miles off the coast of North Carolina, near Cape Hatteras,” the boat captain yelled into his radio. He then read the coordinates of Andiamo’s position.
“This is Coast Guard Cutter Wilson, Captain Peters speaking. Read you loud and clear, Andiamo. What’s the problem, Captain?”
“I have a single engine and it’s crapped out. I can’t get it to start. The wind and waves are picking up like a bitch, and I’m worried that we’ll capsize.”
“This is the Wilson. I’m about five miles from your position, too far to get there in a hurry. The wind is gusting to 50 mph, which is too high for a helicopter from Hatteras. If you carry a sea anchor, deploy it now. I’m sending two helicopter drones. Both will be carrying flotation devices that you’ll need to attach to the sides of your boat. The drones can’t get too close to you but can fly accurately right above you. Tell us when you see them and keep reporting their position relative to your boat.”
Drones are absolute life savers, thought the Coast Guard captain. He would never risk a helicopter in such high winds, for fear of losing the lives of its crewmen. But if a drone goes down, the only thing lost is the price of the drone, not a human life.
“Wilson, this is Andiamo. Your drones are in sight. Recommend you raise them about ten feet and send the first one over us.”
The drone pilot on the Wilson eased the first drone forward, following instructions from the captain of Andiamo. He positioned the drone right above the trawler and released the flotation devices. The captain of Andiamo and three passengers grabbed the devices and attached them to the rails of the boat, tying them down to deck cleats. No sooner had they attached the flotation balloons when a huge wave crashed broadside into Andiamo’s starboard hull. The boat hardly listed, held steady by the flotation gear.
“Please send the next drone to drop the rest of the floats as insurance,” Andiamo’s captain said. “The first batch saved our lives.”
The second delivery landed in the middle of the deck and the crew secured the floaters to any spare section of railing available. The drones flew back to the Wilson, but the captain decided to ditch them because the seas were too rough for a landing.
“Andiamo, this is Captain Peters on the Wilson. From what you said, Captain, you seem to be stable. We’re heading toward you now and should be on station in a few minutes. Meanwhile the flotation gear will keep you upright.”
Captain Peters of the Wilson looked at his first officer and said, “Remind me to buy stock in Robot Depot, the company where we got the drones. Those machines just saved a bunch of lives.�
��
Chapter Twelve
Carly dropped Jenny and me in front of the Delta terminal at JFK.
“Thanks, Carly,” I said. “See you next week.”
“It’s my pleasure, Mike. Have a good time in Japan,” Carly said as the porter loaded our luggage onto a cart. The passengers lined up on the sidewalk stared. It will take some time for people to adjust to conversations between machines and humans. In our house, it’s second nature.
Jenny and I were off to Nagasaki, Japan, to visit the Henn na Hotel, the first hotel in the world fully run by robots. I was investigating robotic hotels as a possible new market for Robot Depot to explore, although Jenny had her doubts. I decided against taking the Gulf Stream because of the distance to Japan.
“I’m keeping an open mind, Mike, but it creeps me out to think that we’ll be dealing with robots for our entire stay. Hotels are supposed to be friendly places, not machine driven. What’s Henn na mean in English anyway?”
“It means ‘strange’ or ‘weird,’ ” I said. Jenny just rolled her eyes.
“What does Blanche think about it?”
“You know Blanche,” I said. “She thinks we should try new markets, even weird ones. Even in New York a hotel with the odd name Yotel employs a robot called a Yobot to help guests to store their luggage. The thing was manufactured by a competitor of ours in Connecticut. The Yotel also has self-service automated check-in kiosks. Blanche is going crazy over this, and wants to move us into the hotel market by next year.”
Robot Depot Page 4