~*~
Darcy had thrown himself into his work since his return from Scotland, trying to keep his mind and body as active as possible. He was determined not to think upon her. If only he had not allowed himself to become preoccupied with kissing her. That preoccupation had led to his discovering the sweetness of her mouth. Once he had tasted her lips, he knew he wanted more than just another night of sexual achievement.
Before his departure, he had given Dr. Adams his consent to discuss with Anne the consequences to her health that would most likely occur should she again find herself with child. Actually Darcy was somewhat relieved that he would not have to be the one to broach such a delicate subject.
Anne never discussed her conversation with Dr. Adams, but, from that day forward, an unspoken agreement existed between the two of them. They each retired nightly to their respective bedchambers. Aside from that, Darcy was attentive to Anne in every other way.
As he opened the mail that morning, he came across Bingley’s invitation. He would like to see his good friend again, but he feared Anne would not be up to travelling to London. In the two months since he had returned from Scotland, her health had not improved. She had expressed a desire to visit Rosings when she was feeling better, and he did not wish to deny her this small consideration. Her pleasures were few of late. Travelling to both London and Rosings might prove to be too much for her frail condition.
Every thought of Lizzy provoked fresh guilt over what had occurred in St. Andrews. Of course, he had expected to feel some guilt when he first devised his plan to produce an heir. After all, he did not approve of gentlemen who indulged in sexual activity outside of the marriage bed. But he had believed his plight was quite different from those gentlemen. He had not been seeking sexual congress for the act itself, but for its end result.
On their first evening together, he had applied himself as perfunctory as possible. As he watched her walk from her dressing chamber towards him wearing only her chemise, he had quickly reviewed his list of mental notes to ensure no deviation from his plan. However, as he had lain over her, he could not escape the intensity of her stare. She had looked inside him, and he felt a connection far beyond the mere coupling of their bodies.
On their second evening together, he had been determined to keep all personal aspects of their union under strict regulation. He would remain immune to whatever arts and allurements she possessed. He had hoped the whiskey he indulged in that evening would dull his senses and render her charms ineffective; however, the alcohol only seemed to intensify his desires. When he had looked into her eyes as she untied his cravat, he felt something he had never felt before. Whatever that feeling was, it had shaken him to his very core.
On their final evening together, he had been lost as soon as he tasted her lips. He could no more control his desire for her than he could control the tide. He had wanted to possess her body and soul. To his amazement, she had returned his ardour with equal passion.
He knew the time he had spent with her had affected him greatly; however, he also knew he could not allow it to change his life. He had gotten carried away by their intimacy, but, now that he was home again, he hoped the spell would soon be broken.
She had come into his life in a most unconventional way. She was certainly beneath his society. If he had met her before he had married, he would have never allowed himself to become associated with someone so far below his own station in life. It seemed he was fated to regret her no matter how or when their paths may have crossed. There was no point dwelling on such matters. He had made his choices in life. His priorities had been duty and obligation. So be it.
But fate had given him a glimpse of what his life might have been under different circumstances. He knew whatever time he had been granted to spend in her company, he would always cherish. For the sake of his marriage, his family and his reputation, he would remember her only as the woman who once fulfilled his fantasies. He must now get on with the reality of his life.
He would not know the outcome of their union for at least another month or more. She had been instructed to contact Mr. Gallagher as soon as she was sure, one way or the other, preferably upon experiencing the quickening of the babe.
Darcy had arranged it so that once it was confirmed she was with child, she would have a comfortable place to live during her confinement. He was now glad that his attorney had made all of those arrangements beforehand. He did not trust himself to know where she might soon be living.
As he was headed toward his study to reply to Bingley’s invitation, he heard a horse approaching. To his surprise, his cousin Richard was announced.
“Darcy, you’re a hard man to track down,” said his cousin.
“So I hear. Mrs. Evanston said you came looking for me a few months ago but that you did not say what it was about.”
“Let’s go into the study and have a drink,” suggested Richard, “and I will relate the entire story.”
“Is it not rather early in the day?” quipped Darcy.
“Believe me, Darcy, when you hear the story I have to tell, you will not think it too early.”
Darcy shrugged and obediently entered the study and poured out two glasses of brandy.
“Well,” started Richard, “you’re not going to believe the events that have taken place. I didn’t want to reveal the details to your housekeeper as they involved Wickham.”
At the mention of the name, Darcy’s eyes immediately grew cold. “What has that blackguard done now?” he asked.
“Well, it seems he was up to his old tricks. He ran away with a fifteen year old girl from Hertfordshire under the pretence of an elopement. Unfortunately they were not found before she was compromised.”
The look of bitter disgust was apparent on Darcy’s face. He would be forever grateful that he had discovered Georgiana before such an occurrence had taken place.
“And what has become of her?” asked Darcy.
“Wickham demanded the family pay all his debts and ten thousand pounds to proceed with a wedding. Since her father is deceased, her elder sister accompanied me to meet Wickham. I, fortunately, was able to locate Mrs. Younge to make contact with him. I had thought you might be interested in joining us, so I went to your townhouse to see if you were available.”
“And what was the outcome?”
“After some persuasion, Wickham agreed to marry the girl. I made sure he abided by his agreement and that the money was not exchanged until after the ceremony. I believe he has gone into the regulars now and has been relocated to Newcastle.”
“I’m sorry I wasn’t there to accompany you.”
“What business took you to Scotland?” asked his cousin.
Darcy startled slightly at his question as he was not prepared to answer anything regarding his trip. He took a gulp of his drink, now grateful that the liquid was already in his hand.
He had always been honest with Richard. Should he disclose to him this confidence? After thinking upon it for a moment, he considered that until he knew the outcome of his assignation, there would be no need to tell him anything. After all, Lizzy might not be with child.
“I met with a gentleman who has designed a new irrigation system,” stated Darcy, quite pleased he had come up with such a reasonable explanation so quickly. “I may be interested in applying such a system here at Pemberley.” This was not an outright lie, as he had met with a gentleman regarding that very thing only last month.
There was a light knock at the door, and Anne and Georgiana entered the study. “Richard!” cried Georgiana, as she rushed to his side.
He hugged her and gave Anne a kiss on the cheek. “It’s so good to see you both again.”
“Oh, Richard, I am very glad you are here. I think my brother could use some cheering up,” said Georgiana. “He seems much distracted since his return from Scotland.”
Darcy blushed slightly, trying to hide his discomfort at such an observance. “Indeed, Darcy. And what distracts you so?” queried Richard.
“I assure you, I am not,” he said, using the haughty tone he reserved for such occasions. In an effort to change the subject, he relayed, “I have received an invitation from Mr. Bingley for a dinner party in London. The invitation includes all of us. I have not yet decided as to my reply.”
“Oh Fitzwilliam!” exclaimed Georgiana. “I would love to go. It would be so wonderful to see Mr. Bingley again. And Anne and I could do some shopping whilst in London.”
“How do you feel about travelling to London, Anne?” asked her husband. “If you are not feeling up to the trip, we will, of course, decline the invitation.”
Not wishing to disappoint her husband or sister, she said, “I believe I am well enough to make the trip, Fitzwilliam.”
Darcy sat down next to his wife and took her hand. “Are you sure, Anne? It is of little importance. Your comfort is my main concern.”
“I am very sure, Fitzwilliam. I think we all could use some diversion. And besides, it will give me a chance to see how you two behave out in polite society,” she said teasingly.
Darcy and Richard both looked at her. “We will do our best not to embarrass you too much,” replied Darcy with a smile, happy to see his wife in such good spirits.
“Perhaps, we could travel to Rosings upon leaving London,” she suggested.
“Whatever you wish, Anne,” he said.
Turning towards his cousin he asked, “What about you, Richard? Do you think you can make it? It’s in ten days’ time.”
“I shall make every effort.”
“Then it’s settled,” said Darcy. “I shall reply to Bingley and accept for us all. I’ll write to Mrs. Evanston immediately and have her open up the townhouse for our arrival.”
CHAPTER ELEVEN
“How was your visit with John and his family?” asked Elizabeth.
“I had a wonderful time. My grandchildren are growing so big, I hardly recognized them!” said Mrs. Worthington. “I hadn’t realized how much I missed seeing them. John has again asked me to move in with him and Henrietta, but I still can’t make up my mind. It would mean selling my home. I have so many fond memories here, but it does seem silly for me to live in this big house all by myself. I’ll give it some more thought. Nothing has to be settled right away.
“I’m glad you returned before me, Elizabeth. I hate coming home to a stuffy house. I see you had it aired out properly. You always think of everything. Now sit down and have some tea with me and tell me about your visit with your sister.”
Elizabeth made her way over to the divan and sat down next to Mrs. Worthington. She poured a cup of tea for each of them. “Well, it was anything but dull,” said Elizabeth. “I got to see all of my family actually. As it so happened, I had occasion to travel to Meryton and visited with my mother and younger sisters also.”
Elizabeth really didn’t want to expand on the circumstances of seeing all her family, since most of it revolved around her sister Lydia’s scandalous affair and hasty wedding.
“It was wonderful to see Jane again. She seems so happy in her position as governess. The children adore her.”
“Since she is so good with children, I’m sure she would one day like to have some of her own,” said Mrs. Worthington, “as I imagine you would also, Elizabeth. Have you not given that prospect some thought? Such pretty girls! Why some gentleman hasn’t come courting is astonishing! What is wrong with the gentlemen of today? Why, in my day . . . oh well, I’m sure you don’t want to hear about the way things were in my day.”
Elizabeth tried to make light of Mrs. Worthington’s words as she displayed a forced smile. The mention of bearing children had temporarily frozen her cup midway to her mouth. “I’m sure Jane will someday meet the right gentleman,” said Elizabeth, hoping Mrs. Worthington hadn’t detected her uneasiness. “Certainly someone with her goodness and beauty will find happiness.”
“And what of you, Elizabeth?” asked Mrs. Worthington.
“I am quite content as I am,” she answered. “I have my friends and family, and my books. Your groom is teaching me to ride, and I, of course, have your very enjoyable company,” said Elizabeth. “I believe my life is quite full.”
Mrs. Worthington eyed her dubiously. “Well, my dear, if you say so.”
~*~
Over the next few weeks, Elizabeth settled back into her normal routine. She ran errands for Mrs. Worthington and helped her tend her lovely gardens. She read, then discussed, all the latest books, and on her idle afternoons, she would write letters to Jane.
She continued her equestrian lessons with Danny, the young groom, and he seemed quite pleased with her progress. He had tried to teach her to ride side saddle but, with no experience to draw upon, reverted to teaching her to sit astride. Elizabeth hardly minded as she could not imagine how anyone could ride a horse with any speed while sitting in such an awkward way, and one thing she loved about riding was the speed. Though she still enjoyed her rambles, nothing made her feel quite as alive as galloping through a field with the wind blowing across her face, enjoying all the freedom and excitement that it provided.
When she asked Mrs. Worthington when and where they were to travel next, the elder woman expressed a desire to stay put for a time. She was growing tired of so much travelling, she said. “After a while, one place looks just like another.”
~*~
Elizabeth awoke to a beautiful early October morning. She had decided to walk the gardens around Mrs. Worthington’s property. After her brisk walk she returned to the house, ready for breakfast. She poured herself a cup of tea and sat down before her usual fare of toast and jam while Mrs. Worthington was enjoying her customary kippers and eggs.
As their aroma reached Elizabeth’s nose, she immediately jumped up. Without excusing herself, she made her way upstairs and went directly to the chamber pot. This routine continued for the next several days.
Knowing herself not to be ill, Elizabeth was slowly coming to terms with her condition. She was aware that many women who were with child experienced such nausea when in contact with strong odours. However, she did not want to acknowledge that possibility just yet.
As long as she could still convince herself that she was yet unsure of her condition, she would not have to leave Mrs. Worthington, and she could pretend that Scotland had only been a figment of her imagination. Until she felt the quickening of the babe, she would continue her usual routine. Well, maybe I should forego the riding lessons, she thought.
Suspecting she was with child, his child, she could not stop thinking about him. Up until then she had sufficiently kept her mind busy as to keep out thoughts of him, at least during the day. Nights were another story.
She had tried not to think upon their last night together. She had responded to him so naturally and surrendered to him so completely. She had often tried to imagine what might have occurred had they been subjected to subsequent evenings in such intimate proximity. The only word she could think to describe herself while in his embrace was wanton. Surely they were not well enough acquainted that she would think herself in love; if not love, then what?
She tried to determine if she would feel the same way for anyone under such circumstances. How could one not have feelings for someone they held in intimate embrace? Pondering that thought, she tried to imagine Mr. Collins in such a situation. Would he have inspired such responses? Would she now be spending her nights longing again for his touch? Elizabeth immediately shuddered at the thought.
No, it was William’s touch, and William’s touch alone, that had inspired her. He had awakened feelings in her she did not know existed. He had changed her forever. She wondered if he ever thought upon their time together or had he already forgotten her. And why should he not forget her? After all, it was never meant to be anything other than a business arrangement.
She had gone into their arrangement with no expectations other than those established by Mr. Gallagher. Indeed, when the agreement had been explained to her, she hadn’t any knowledge o
f the gentleman whatsoever, aside from hearing his voice that day during her interview.
What if he had been abhorrent in looks and in manner? Had that been the case, would she care now that she would never see him again? Probably not. But she also knew that if that had been the case, their last night together—or for that matter, their first and second nights together—would have gone quite differently. She would not have been so strongly affected by their intimacy.
Mr. Gallagher had explained to her quite explicitly exactly what was to take place, the agreement being very precise. The terms stated that she and the gentleman were to engage in sexual congress, for the sole purpose of reproduction; there were to be no less than three attempts to accomplish the desired result, and any sexual act that would not achieve the desired result was prohibited. Mr. Gallagher had explained that this last provision was added for her benefit and protection, but to be honest, Elizabeth had not had the slightest idea what it meant and was too embarrassed to ask.
Once it was established that she was with child, the agreement further stated all of the arrangements would be made for her confinement, including the provision for living quarters to be provided during her confinement and for one month following the birth of the child. If she were to deliver the child in May, she could continue to reside in the living quarters provided until the end of June. Mr. Gallagher explained that his client wanted to give her ample time to recover from the birth and also give her time to relocate herself.
One servant would be provided to attend her during her confinement, and a midwife would be provided for the birth of the child. Further terms stated that neither party was to seek out the other nor would any communication between the parties be permitted. All communication would be conducted through Mr. Gallagher. Upon the birth of the child and the handing over of such child to Mr. Gallagher, the terms of the agreement would be fulfilled.
Looking over her copy of the contract, Elizabeth realized how cold it sounded to her now. Of course, now that Lydia’s reputation was saved and her family was no longer threatened with a scandal, her point of view was quite different.
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