I’d almost convinced myself this was the worst idea in the world when Jake walked up to the car. He knocked on the glass twice, even though I saw him coming. I heaved a sigh. China here I come.
He wore his customary tight jeans, a black T-shirt that didn’t seem to have enough fabric around the biceps, and a pair of very expensive-looking boots. I stared at his left pec for a second, which seemed on the verge of talking to me as it flexed.
Flipping my hair, I forced my gaze upward and found purple circles under his tired eyes. As a werewolf, Jake could go without sleep for days before it started to affect him. From the looks of it, he’d probably gone without it for weeks, which meant he hadn’t really slept on Rosalina’s couch last night. His hair was tousled as if he’d been running his fingers through it, trying to pull it out. I bit my lower lip at the disheveled look as it reminded me of mornings when we woke up together. I shook the errant thought away.
“Any news about Stephen?” I asked.
He shook his head. “I got your message. I was busy and couldn’t call back. What is it?”
“Oh, yeah.” With everything that had been going on, I’d forgotten about it. “Um,” I glanced around, worried this might not be the best place to discuss dark things like kidnappings and vampire threats. “We shouldn’t talk here. Have you eaten lunch? I haven’t, and I’m starving.”
“I’m starving, too.”
“How about pizza?” I gestured across the street.
“Perfect.”
“Let me check on Rosalina first, I’ll meet you there.”
He walked away, and I tried to resist the urge to glance over my shoulder and check out his ass. I failed. The jeans fit him perfectly. They were well-worn with faded lines in the shape of his wallet in one of the pockets. He walked with, not quite a swagger, but something that spoke of his infinite confidence.
I tore my eyes away from him and went into the office. Rosalina was on her cell phone, scribbling notes furiously on a yellow pad. She held up one finger, and I waited for her to hang up. After a minute, she disconnected the call, set her pen down, and reclined on her chair with an expression of relief.
“That was the insurance company,” she said. “The adjuster was here earlier, and he has just approved payment for our laptops, damaged ingredients, and other repairs.” She picked up a credit card from the top of the desk and shook it with delight. “Now I can go to the store and load this baby up with some new macs. We’ll be back in business in no time.”
I put on a smile that probably looked more like a cringe.
“Oh, no.” Rosalina stood and walked toward me. She put her hands on my shoulders. “You decided to condemn the man to a life of celibacy, didn’t you?”
I didn’t have to explain myself. She knew me too well not to guess what I’d done. “I talked to him. He’s happy doing what he does, and not only that, he’s good at it. I get the feeling he’s the kind of man who makes a difference wherever he goes.”
“Want me to do it? I have no qualms about it. He’ll be happy either way.”
“No. It might be bad karma.”
Her mouth twisted to one side. “I hate to see you lose your condo, and things are getting a bit tight around here.”
I searched her face, feeling wretched.
“You know what. You’re right.” She waved her hand around. “You have to live by your principles. Otherwise, the job will make you unhappy, and that’s not worth it.”
Tears pricked the back of my eyes. “Thank you for understanding.”
“It’ll be okay. I have two customers lined up. One is coming later this afternoon at 3:30. He’s not as high profile, but we need customers. Jim Morris referred him.”
Jim Morris was the neighborhood bachelor I’d set up soon after we opened the agency.
“That’s great.” I gave her a one-hundred-percent genuine smile.
She walked back to the desk and grabbed her purse. “I guess I’ll run to the mall.”
I let her go without telling her about my impending lunch with Jake. For some reason, the thought of sitting with him, just the two of us, made me nervous. So far, we’d mostly talked about Stephen and his kidnapping. Would other things, personal ones, come up while we ate? I was torn between running there or calling to tell him something had come up.
In the end, my urge to be close to him won, and I locked the office and walked across the street.
Jake sat in a booth at the corner. From the looks of it, he’d already ordered our drinks and an appetizer. I approached hesitantly. He was staring at his clasped hands, which rested on top of the table. I knew the intense expression well. His deep concentration told me he might be trying to figure something out.
He glanced up when I slid into the booth.
“I ordered you an orange soda and garlic knots,” he said.
A lump rose in my throat. He still remembered my favorites. Few people knew so many things about me. Jake’s leaving had taught me not to open up to people, and I’d forgotten how good it felt to have someone who cared about the little things that made me happy.
“Thank you.” I took a sip of the soda. It was cold, tangy, and sparkly, just the way I liked it. The garlic knots were crunchy and buttery on the outside and gooey on the inside. Yum.
I ordered lasagna because pizza reminded me of Bernadetta, and Jake got a meat lovers pie. We sat in awkward silence after the waiter left, looking at everything, except each other.
“So... what did you want to tell me?” His voice sounded both hopeful and scared at the same time, which made me wonder what he was expecting to hear. Something of a personal nature, perhaps?
Oh, get a grip, Toni! He only cares about Stephen.
He’d made it very clear last night that he had no intention of talking about us at all.
“I don’t know if this will help,” I started, “but as I thought about how things felt while I tracked Stephen, it occurred to me that maybe they’re not keeping him at a fixed location. I got the impression that maybe they’re constantly moving him.”
“You mean they aren’t keeping him in one place for long?”
I shook my head. “No, I mean it feels like he’s constantly on the move. I think maybe they’re keeping him in a moving vehicle.”
“Shit,” Jake said under his breath. “No wonder no one can find him.” He ran his fingers through his already messy hair, managing to flatten a lock that had been standing at an odd angle. “I have been all over the city, trying to catch Stephen’s scent at locations that belong to Ulfen’s worst enemies. I’ve spent hours researching real estate records and driving all over town, it was all a waste of time.”
He clenched his teeth and a muscle jumped in his jaw. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, making a monumental effort to control his frustration and anger.
“Don’t be so hard on yourself,” I said. “You’re doing your best. There’s no way you could have known.”
Jake shook himself, forcing away all emotion. “Did you tell Ulfen?”
“I did.”
“Hopefully, this will give him some ideas. I’m afraid I’m fresh out of them.”
I hesitated, wondering if I should tell him about the Dark Donna. She was a dangerous creature, and I didn’t want Jake to get in trouble with her and her people, but I reminded myself that it wasn’t my job to take care of him. He was a big boy and had already been prying in all the wrong places. Giving him accurate information might do some good.
“There’s something else,” I said.
He straightened. “What?”
“I’m pretty sure Bernadetta Fiore is involved. I mean... she’s the prime suspect already, but I think I have proof. Sort of.”
“Go on,” he said.
“I... had a very unpleasant meeting with her today.”
Jake did a slow blink and spoke with forced calm. “Please explain.”
“She pretty much mini kidnapped me into her bigass limousine.”
“What?!”
/> Jake’s body trembled on the spot, and I feared he might shift right on top of his garlic knots. I stared wide-eyed, my heartbeat kicking up a notch. Clearly, he was on edge, literally teetering at the brink of going postal. He seriously needed a nap. He regained his control by taking a deep breath and closing his eyes for a few seconds.
“Are you all right? Did she hurt you?” he asked, opening his eyes.
“No, she didn’t hurt me. In fact,” I frowned, “she was mostly polite. She tried to deny having anything to do with Stephen’s disappearance, but she was lying.”
“What makes you say that?”
I shrugged. “My skill.”
Anytime Jake asked these types of questions, I gave him the same answer. I never offered any specifics about how I knew things after tracking someone. He had no idea it involved my senses, so I couldn’t tell him about the scent in Bernadetta’s limousine.
He made a disgusted sound in the back of his throat.
When we’d worked together, I hadn’t felt comfortable with my skills and its consequences—not enough to trust anyone with the truth, especially those closest to me. The first time I tracked someone, the side effects scared the crap out of me, which made me cagey, defensive, and afraid my family and Jake would forbid me to use them. I had begged Nonna not to tell anyone and assured her I wouldn’t track anyone without help. Since she lived in New York City, it had been easy to lie.
Now, it was different. I never came out of a trance or suffered through my lack of senses alone. Rosalina always kept me company and figured out a way to make things bearable, even coming up with the idea of learning sign language together. There was no one else in the world I could trust or feel comfortable with while in that vulnerable state—not to mention I didn’t want to be a burden on anyone for any length of time, no matter how brief.
Like before, Jake wasn’t pleased with my evasive answer. He pursed his lips and leaned back on the booth.
The waiter came with our food. Steam and a delicious scent rose from it. I practically inhaled half of my serving while Jake poked at his pie with disinterest.
“You should eat,” I said. “You look like shit.”
He chuckled, taking no offense, and started eating.
I told him about Tom and the priest. He seemed relieved when I mentioned Tom showed good signs of recovering. Then we went silent again.
Feeling the pressure of our awkwardness, I let curiosity get the best of me and asked, “Where did you go, Jake?” I thought he might brush away the question, but he didn’t.
“New Orleans. Remember Kaden Smith? He lives there.”
Kaden had been my brother and Jake’s classmate through high school. They’d been inseparable. All three popular Skews, who played varsity and had gaggles of girls chasing after them.
“I’ve never been to New Orleans,” I said. “I need to visit.”
It was one of those cities on my list of places to scout for new scents, sounds, and insights. It would certainly expand my options and the likelihood of finding mates. Every new place I managed to visit had a great impact on my success rate.
“It’s a great place,” Jake said. “Awesome food, incredible nightlife. Very unique.”
“Did something there prompt you to start your PI business?”
He pushed a piece of toasty sausage to the edge of his plate, reminding me what a picky eater he could be. “Nah, I got that idea here, after we found Emily Garner. Returning her to her family felt... amazing.”
“Yes, it did.”
I still remembered her parents’ faces when we walked into the police station, Jake cradling Emily in his arms. It had been as if we’d not only rescued the little girl but her entire family as well. That day, we gave them back more than just a child. We gave them back hope and the desire to keep going.
And we’d done that together, combining our skills and smarts to accomplish it.
“I’ve helped other people, and it’s felt just as good every time.” He set his fork down. “Then I heard about Stephen. He spent some time in New Orleans with Kaden and me. He was trying to get away from his father and... get over a certain relationship.”
I never thought Stephen would have to get over me. I wasn’t happy about the way our relationship ended, but I couldn’t say he had affected me much. I liked Stephen, and maybe, if we’d been allowed to keep seeing each other, I would have eventually developed feelings for him, but that hadn’t been the case.
Everyone loves at different rates, I suppose.
“I wish he hadn’t returned to St. Louis,” Jake continued. “Then this wouldn’t have happened. But Ulfen called him back, told him he needed him here, that it was time he took up his heir responsibilities.”
Ironically, if Stephen hadn’t come back, I wouldn’t have been sitting there with Jake, aching to ask him all the questions he didn’t want to answer.
“What about you?” Jake asked. “How long since you opened the agency?”
“Almost a year ago.”
“Do you like what you do?”
I felt the judgment in his voice. Finding somebody’s mate compared to returning a child to her parents didn’t score high in his book. And yeah, I had to admit that on a scale of Mother Teresa to Hitler, my new job leaned a little right from the middle. Still, that didn’t make me a bad person. I was still helping others find their happiness while I kept mine.
“I do like it,” I said. “I’ve also helped people, and it felt good. Best of all, I’m doing what’s best for me. If you think that makes me selfish, then I guess I am.”
Jake reached across the table and grabbed my hand, surprising me. The touch sent a thrill up my arm that made me catch my breath. I froze, unable to pull away as his thumb went back and forth over my knuckles.
“I’ve been unfair to you,” he said, his voice a low whisper that reminded me of many intimate moments. “I’m sorry about that. It’s not my place to judge you. Your life is yours to live and I...” He swallowed, making it evident that this was hard for him. “I have no business sticking my nose in it. You should be safe now, I trust. No one should bother you anymore. I’m glad you were clear about Ulfen with that damn vamp. She had no business trying to intimidate you like that. I’ll call him and tell him about your run-in with the Dark Donna. Try to get back to normal. If my presence next door bothers you, I’ll leave, find another place. Though I am in St. Louis to stay.” He pulled his hand away, and I had to slide mine under the table to stop from reaching back.
His touch opened a door that I’d slammed shut many months ago, and everything I’d crammed in there came spilling out like junk from an overstuffed closet. All it had taken was the electrifying brush of his skin against mine to shatter the lies I’d been telling myself all along.
I was not over Jacob Knight. Not by a long shot.
In that moment of realization, I wanted to tell him to get the hell away from me, to go and find another place in the nether regions of St. Louis—somewhere the sun didn’t shine—so I would never have to see him again and be reminded of what a weak, pathetic, self-defeating woman I was.
But if I did that, he would realize he still had power over me, and dammit, if I wasn’t too proud to let him see that. So I put on a smile and lied through my teeth.
“It’s fine, Jake. It doesn’t bother me. Not really.” My tone was cold and detached, and I waved my hand around carelessly. “I doubt we’ll be seeing much of each other anyway since we are in such different lines of business.”
Jake’s eyes tightened, and he watched me closely as I spoke. When I was done, a smile stretched slowly over his chiseled lips, and a know-it-all expression shaped his face.
“What’s so funny?” I asked.
He turned his mouth upside down and shook his head. “Nothing, it’s just that’s exactly what I was thinking.”
I mimicked his sarcastic smile.
This seemed to be the way frienemies got along, spewing blatant lies at each other while pretending to believe them.
Despite everything, I felt I would be able to handle his closeness, and if I turned out to be wrong, St. Louis was a big city. I could find another place to operate. I had plans to move up the social scale anyway, so other areas of the city would be more appropriate for the clientele that would soon overfill my agenda.
That evening I went to kickboxing class and imagined Jake’s face stamped on the punching bag. I had a hell of a workout and got all my aggression out. I’d done what I could to try to help. Now, I could go back to normal.
Chapter 29
At the end of the day, as soon as we got to Rosalina’s place, I fed Cupid his pellets and crawled into bed without eating dinner, feeling emotionally exhausted. Too much had happened in the expanse of a few days, and even though Rosalina suggested take-out, my only thoughts were of fluffy pillows and cozy blankets.
I closed my eyes as the events of the day played in my head like a movie in an infinite loop. I kept feeling Jake’s finger caressing my knuckles while his intense silver eyes peered into my soul. I grew hot all over, remembering the first time we had sex.
It had been perfect. He had made sure of it.
“I want you to always remember today as the most special day of your life,” he’d whispered in my ear as we sat on a luscious bed at the Four Seasons Hotel, a backdrop of The Gateway Arch in our window.
More than once before that night, I’d asked him to take me in the back of his pickup truck as we made out. We’d come close, but he’d been a lot stronger than me and made good on his promise to make my first time memorable.
For a while now, I hadn’t tortured myself with memories of that night and others that followed, but since his simple touch had opened that door, I found myself in that luxurious room again. The sheets were white, soft cotton. I wore a strappy black dress and high heel shoes, the same outfit I’d worn to prom. Jake wore a dark gray suit and looked breathtaking.
The Tracker's Mate: Sunderverse (Mate Tracker Book 1) Page 15