by Gemma James
I raised my brows. “And?”
“And I’m seeing someone.”
“Simone?”
He cocked his head in surprise. “How did you know?”
“Just a hunch.”
And it was at that precise moment, as we were finally on the cusp of putting all of our cards on the table, of burying past hurts and broken dreams, that another beep rang through the hotel room. A hint of footsteps kept me in suspense, breath stalling in my lungs. Terror tore through me, and my back stiffened, as my first thought was that Katherine had sent Gage.
But those footsteps weren’t confident like my husband’s. He had a unique way of walking, in which every step touched the ground with complete ownership of the path he chose to walk. These footfalls were dainty, completely feminine. When Katherine came into view, I shouldn’t have been surprised. Of course she’d want to witness the coup she’d pulled off single-handedly.
However, I was even less prepared for the camera flash that went off in our faces.
9. Sick Day
For the next two days, I stewed over one question: when would Katherine drop her bomb? Confessing to Gage was inevitable, but anytime I came close to opening up to him about what I’d unwittingly stepped into, my throat closed up on me.
I couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep. Hell, I was so twisted up over Katherine’s trickery—and her ultimatum that I leave Gage or she’d show him the photo—that I’d puked twice in 24 hours. At first, I thought it was due to stress, but then Eve came down with a stomach bug, so I blamed my sickness on a virus. Katherine and her nasty ultimatum faded into the background, as taking care of Eve trumped everything.
The scent of vomit seemed to cling to my skin. My poor baby hadn’t been able to keep anything down for the past two hours since I’d picked her up from school. At least the worst had passed. I smoothed a palm over her hair while she snuggled into her princess themed sheets, lashes lowering from exhaustion. Gage would be home soon, so that didn’t give me much time to shower.
Ten minutes later, as I towel-dried my hair, I heard his car pull into the driveway. I dropped the towel in the laundry hamper, ignoring how it hung over the side, and moved down the hall in time to greet him in the foyer.
“How’s Eve doing?” Gage had barely stepped through the front entrance, smelling of autumn and pure sexy man, before he set his laptop case by the door, which was so unlike him. “I came as soon as I could. Where is she?”
“In bed.” I hastened to keep up with his urgent stride as he headed down the hall toward Eve’s bedroom. Finding her fast asleep, he stalled in the open doorway and let out a breath. I placed a hand on his back, touched by his concern.
“She’s feeling much better. You didn’t have to rush home from work.”
He whirled, grabbed my arm, and pulled me a couple of feet down the hall. “Of course I did. You said she had a fever. She was puking…” Pacing a few steps, he pushed his hands into his hair.
“It’s just a stomach bug. There’s a lot of nasty stuff going around right now.” I lowered my voice. “Really, Gage. I talked to her doctor. She doesn’t think there’s any reason to worry.”
He turned to face me again, and something dark haunted his eyes. “How can you be so calm? So fucking sure? What if she’s…?”
Sick again.
I swallowed hard to keep hysteria from choking me. The fear that she would get sick again bordered on paranoia, and it would pull me into weeks, or even months of despair if I let it. I crossed the few feet separating us and wound my arms around him.
“I spent a whole year in Texas, in and out of the hospital. Every cough, every fever…I was a basket case convinced she was going to come out of remission.”
“I hate that you had to go through that alone.” Gage practically crushed me in his arms. “You’re not alone now. Never again, baby.”
Blinking back tears, I held on a little tighter. Eve coming down with any illness, no matter how common or normal, would always send me spiraling, and that was why I’d slowly learned to cope instead of freak out.
“She’ll be fine,” I said. “Remember the last time she got a cold? You went all protective daddy on her then too.”
Which made me love him a million times more.
Exhaling on a sigh, he let me go. “Okay, I’ll try to scale down the overprotective parent role. But Kayla…I can’t help it. She’s our girl.”
I wanted to launch myself at him again, only this time with no clothing barring us from becoming a tangle of two bodies made for each other. I reached for his face, figuring I could settle for a kiss, but the hallway seemed to tilt. I shuffled backward until my spine hit the wall.
Gage frowned. “What’s wrong?”
“I don’t know. I’m a little dizzy.”
“Did you eat lunch?”
“Umm…not that I can remember.” I’d been too worried about Eve to eat, and too busy taking care of her to find time to have lunch anyway. At the thought of food, my stomach revolted. What little I had eaten earlier that day rose so unexpectedly that making it to the bathroom wasn’t a possibility. I tipped forward and vomited in the hallway, narrowly missing Gage’s shiny black dress shoes.
He helped me to the bathroom and held back my hair as I lost more of my stomach’s meager contents. “I’m sorry,” I gasped during a spell. “Guess Eve’s not the only one—”
My whole body seized, muscles tensing as vomiting turned to dry-heaving. “Oh God,” I moaned. The dry-heaves lasted for maybe a minute, but it felt like forever. I fell back into Gage’s arms, utterly spent.
“I happen to know a bed with your name on it,” he said, carrying me as if I weighed nothing. Though his tone was light, he couldn’t hide the worry in his eyes as he tucked me between our silky sheets.
“Thank you, Master.”
Brushing the damp hair back from my head, he frowned. “Don’t ‘Master’ me now, Kayla. Just rest. I’ll keep an eye on Eve.”
My eyelids suddenly felt as if they weighed a ton, but the fact that I was sick too was a huge relief. “See,” I mumbled, halfway to a much-needed slumber. “She’s fine. It’s just a bug.”
“Hopefully a short-lived one.”
“Tonight’s Friday, after all,” I said. Now would be the time to tell him about my accidental meeting with Ian. Then I could wash away my guilt over doubting Gage with the force of his punishing arm. But I didn’t have any strength left, and I’d already spilled my guts enough for one day. I tried to muster a small smile, uneasy with the dark cloud hanging over my head. “Wouldn’t want a pesky illness to get between your belt and my ass.”
“You mean bullwhip,” he said.
“It’s been a month already?”
The sculpted shape of his jaw hardened. Hell, he was so damn beautiful. “It’s been a month,” he confirmed. “But I’m not about to use the bullwhip on you while you’re sick, so we’ll put an extension on it.”
“An extension with interest?”
“We’re discussing an ass-whipping, Kayla.” He rolled his eyes. “Not negotiating a complex contract.”
He was the king of complexity. Everything he did was calculated to break down another layer of my protective armor. A few hours later, after Eve and I sipped chicken broth and managed to keep it down, I sat in bed flipping through a fashion magazine.
Gage tucked Eve in for the night before returning to our bedroom. “You seem to be feeling better.”
“I am,” I said, putting aside the magazine as he settled onto the edge of the mattress.
His dark brows furrowed over indigo blue. “Could you possibly be…pregnant?” A note of hope colored his voice, ripping my heart to shreds.
“I don’t think so.” A small part of me wanted to hope too, but…
No.
Not worth the agony. Besides, I’d had a period a couple of weeks ago. “It was just the stomach flu.” My shoulders slumped. “What if…?”
He took my hand and folded our fingers together. “What is it
?”
“What if it’s not in the cards for us?”
“I will not allow you to give up hope. Someday, I’m going to watch my child grow inside your gorgeous body. Have some faith, baby.”
Faith didn’t come easy. Deep down, I knew I’d disappoint him, and in more ways than one. Not only would I fail to conceive his child, but delaying my confession about Ian’s return would crush him.
Crush him and make him irate enough to go off the rails.
10. Candid Camera
By Saturday afternoon, Eve had fully recovered and was back to her rambunctious self, so we let her spend the night with Leah. Since we were kid-free for an evening, Gage took me out and wined and dined me.
“You’re unusually quiet tonight,” he said, taking a sip of his red wine. “Are you feeling under the weather again?”
“No, I’m fine.” I gave him a small smile, but I felt sick as I forced a bite of steak down my throat. The need to spill my guts was eating me alive.
My reprieve from the Friday Night Ritual wouldn’t last much longer. After we returned home from dinner, he would take the bullwhip to my ass. Time was running out. I had to find the courage to tell him about Katherine’s trickery because I’d rather withstand a brutal punishment all at once and get it over with than suffer through his ritual, only to be punished again once he found out.
And he would find out. Katherine hadn’t gone to all of that trouble for nothing. She would send that photo to Gage eventually. My only advantage was coming clean before she did.
“You don’t look fine. You seem upset.”
A nervous breath escaped my mouth. “I did something you’re not going to like.” What an understatement.
He paused, fork dangling halfway to his mouth, and darkness shadowed his features for a moment. But then he quickly washed his face of it. “Finish your dinner, Kayla. Whatever it is, you can tell me when we get home.”
“Okay,” I said, relief choking that single word. There was no going back. Now that he knew there was something to tell, he would pry it out of me. I no longer had to agonize over how and when—it was in his hands now.
The rest of our meal slid down my throat, mostly tasteless. As for the wine, I’d barely taken two sips, knowing I’d need a clear head to handle what was to come. We left the restaurant, and he escorted me to the car with one hand pressed gently to the small of my back.
Heavy silence overshadowed the drive home, and the quick twenty-minute jaunt from the restaurant seemed much longer. Halfway through, Gage took my hand in his and offered his support. It was a simple gesture meant to reassure me that I could come to him about anything. But even as his fingers entwined with mine, I couldn’t help but notice the anxious downturn of his mouth, and the way he steered the car single-handedly, his knuckles turning whiter with every mile.
As soon as we pulled into the driveway, Gage let go of my hand, and I missed the warmth of his touch instantly. He rounded the hood and opened my door—ever the gentlemen despite the brutality of his dominance. The wind rushed through the trees, scattering autumn leaves in a whirl. As we approached the front door, a cold drop of rain fell onto my nose.
“Just tell me one thing,” he said, ushering me into the foyer. “Were you unfaithful?” His voice shook with nervous anger. But his eyes…fear had taken over, leaving him open and defenseless. It was such a foreign look on Gage that I did a double-take to make sure I wasn’t hallucinating.
I wasn’t. My dominant husband was terrified of what I might say.
Unable to help myself, I fit my palm against his cheek. Not touching him was impossible. “I haven’t been unfaithful. I promise.”
“Address me properly, Kayla.” Warning tinged his tone. Now was not the time to fuck up on protocol.
“I’m sorry, Master.” I sank to my knees, then dipped even further to kiss his shoes. “I wasn’t unfaithful,” I repeated.
Never again would I cheat on him, but he obviously still had reservations, or he wouldn’t have brought it up the instant we crossed the threshold. Lifting my chin, I saw some of the worry fade from his gorgeous eyes.
He held out a hand. “Come on,” he said, hauling me to my feet. After he removed my cashmere sweater and shed his overcoat, he ordered me to prepare for him in the basement. I’d known that was where I’d end up tonight, but a chill still tingled down my spine.
“Yes, Master.” As I moved in the direction of his dungeon, limbs weak, I spied him pulling at his tie from the corner of my eye. Because he was eager to dress down to punish me? Or because the tension spiraling between us was choking him? I unlocked the door to the basement, switched on the light, and descended the stairs, chewing over his reaction the whole way.
I was Gage’s only real weakness—something I failed to remember between the rituals and rigid expectations. He’d imprinted his power and mastery onto my soul, and I often forgot that underneath the confident veneer of dominance and control lived a vulnerable man with family issues.
And ex-girlfriend issues.
How could I prove to him that I wasn’t going anywhere?
As I unzipped my dress and let it slide to the floor, the answer to that question tormented me. The only way to prove my loyalty was on my knees, unwavering in my surrender to his disciplinary decisions, no matter how intense the degradation and pain. I unclasped my bra, stepped outside the puddle of Haute Couture at my feet, and kneeled, preparing to speak Gage’s language in the form of “yes, Master.”
About fifteen minutes later, the door creaked open, and his loud footfalls brought him down the stairs. He walked with heavy feet as if the next hour or two weighed on his shoulders as heavily as they did mine. A single glance at his expression—eyes narrowed, jaw tense, and a pasty hue to his skin—and I knew I was too late. Katherine had gotten to him. As if to confirm my suspicion, he tossed a photo onto the floor in front of me.
“That just hit my inbox.” He gestured to the incriminating evidence. “Is this what you need to tell me about?”
A glossy photo stared me in the face. Though Ian and I sat with plenty of space between us, our identical caught-in-the-headlights expressions made us look guilty. So did the fact that we were sitting on a bed in a hotel room.
“I can explain, Master.”
“Can you, now?” He arched a contemptuous brow. “You said you weren’t unfaithful. But Kayla,” he said, crouching to confront me at eye level. “As far as I’m concerned, you cheated the instant you had any form of contact with him.”
“It wasn’t intentional, Master.” God, I despised how tiny my voice sounded. How wobbly and terrified. The disconcerting part was the why of my fear. I wasn’t afraid of getting punished—that was inevitable, and I’d accept it. No, what had my gut turning was his reaction to that picture. He wasn’t only angry, but his entire body exuded betrayal, from the strain of his voice to the devastation in his eyes whenever his attention fell on the image of me with his brother.
“Wasn’t intentional?” he said, rising to his full height. “Let me guess—someone kidnapped you and dropped you on that fucking bed with him. How convenient.”
“I went there looking for you!” I squeezed my eyes shut, horrified at losing my cool. Raising my voice to my Master was never tolerated, a fact that was abundantly clear when I lifted my lids and found Gage rifling through the drawer where he kept my least favorite things. He strode toward me with a ball gag clutched in his hand. His breaths heaved in and out, and his massive chest expanded with every draw of air.
“Explain yourself.” He dangled the humongous gag in front of my trembling lips.
Suddenly, I didn’t want to explain. Recounting Katherine’s unwelcome visit and how I’d fallen for her bullshit…no, how I’d doubted him…was almost more than I could stand.
“You’re only making this harder on yourself,” he warned.
The need to stall rose inside me, and I did my best to squash it. Submit. Submit, submit, submit. I chanted the word but finding the right way to expl
ain how I’d essentially let my doubt tear a gaping hole into the fabric of our trust…that was easier in theory.
He exhaled on an exasperated sigh. “You’ve got sixty seconds before you lose the privilege of speaking.”
His threat busted through my resistance. “After I left your office on Wednesday, Katherine was waiting for me in the driveway.” The lies the bitch had spewed seemed thin to me now. I should have seen right through them and had I not reacted with too-quick judgement born of emotional overload, I would have recognized the trap in her accusation.
I blinked, and a tear squiggled down my face. “She said you were going to meet her at the Hilton. She left a keycard.” Meeting his eyes, I silently pleaded for understanding. “But Ian showed up right after I did. He said he got a message from you. He thought he was meeting you at the hotel.” Pissed at myself, I dashed away the moisture collecting on my cheeks. “She set us up, and I fell for it. I’m sorry, Master.”
With a long sigh, Gage dropped the ball gag and paced a few feet away, turning his back on me for a few seconds that were long enough to ratchet up my anxiety. Eventually, he turned around, dragging both hands down his face. “Did you touch him?”
And that’s when I wavered again. The truth clogged my throat, but if I didn’t come clean, he’d think the worst. “I…I hugged him.”
“Why?”
“I was shocked to see him, and…” My stomach turned, making me ill. My reasons were unimportant to Gage, as I had no business laying a finger on Ian Kaplan.
“And?” he prompted.
“Please don’t make me say it.”
“You were happy to see him alive.” His tone was so matter-of-fact that I wondered if he had mind-reading capabilities.
“Yes, Master.” God, how my cheeks burned with shame. I shouldn’t feel guilty for finding joy in knowing that someone I cared about was alive and healthy, but I did. “I’m sorry, but it’s the truth.”
“I appreciate your honesty, baby.”
“But?”
“But I’m hurt as fuck. When will you learn that you need to come to me about things? In fact,” he said, walking in a slow circle around me, “I demand it. You come to me, or you get punished. This wouldn’t have happened if you’d trusted me.”