by Colt, Shyla
Kazimir balled his fists at his side. “What is it you expect me to do?” His jaw twitched. “This is who I am.”
“No. You’ve said yourself things are changing.”
“You have no concept of how hard I work to keep my behavior acceptable for you. Every day that you return to a home where you’re in danger goes against all of my instincts. I’ve lost a bit more of myself and my control as we wait in this ridiculous holding pattern. You finally admit to yourself that I am your mate, the one soul destined to accompany you for the rest of our lives, and in the same breath you lay down rules? Stipulations to what forces greater than us have crafted?”
His fangs elongated. Peeking from between his lips, they altered his speech. “Please tell me how? What must I do to please you, little sun? How should I ignore instincts bred into my very DNA?” The wave of angst and madness that swept over her made her gasp. “This is what I protect you from. The insanity I stave off because we are not properly connected. And yet it’s not enough for you. You want me to comprise? What about you?”
Her lower lip trembled, and her legs weakened as she wilted under the onslaught of emotions battering her like a boat caught in a tropical storm. She clutched her heart and stumbled. His hand shot out, steadying her, and a mental wall rose, sealing her off from the chaos.
“I’m old. I can withstand a lot. I’m willing to give you the time you need to adjust and become comfortable with me. But I refuse to do this. To live out a bastardized version of what we’re meant to be.”
“I-I didn’t know,” she whispered. “Why wouldn’t you tell me?”
“I know your past. I did not want you to feel pressured or pushed into making choices you might later regret.”
“What are we going to do?”
He shook his head. “I don’t have an answer for that yet.”
“I can’t let you continue like this.”
He held up his hand. “I am fine. I’ve dealt with far worse. My intention was to protect you, but I see it’s only led to misinformation.” He shook his head.
“What else are you keeping from me?”
He glanced away.
“Kazimir.”
“Our bond is unusual. Neither of us seem to have a choice in the matter. Normally we can choose to … sever the contract with the person.”
“But not us?”
“I do not believe so.”
“Which means?”
“It’s possible I’d succumb to the blood lust.” He paused. “Eventually.”
She closed her eyes. Another complication she could little afford. “That’s not happening,” she stated bluntly.
“I cannot give you the reassurances you require because I myself am uncertain of the effects our mating will have on each of us.”
“What about Nakeeta and Crewe?”
“We could speak with them, but she’s a witch, and he’s a vampire. It’s not the same biology.”
Biting the inside of her cheek, she nodded. “It’s a risk I’m willing to take after my people are safe.”
“You love them so much when they made your life a living hell?”
“I let my life become one. They’re innocent bystanders, buying into a false prophet I help keep in power. By my calculations, I owe them a debt I can never fully repay.”
“They’re a funny thing, debts, or markers as we called them. One never knows when they’ll be called in or the price they’ll ask for. You should be careful you don’t end up left with nothing to sustain you.”
“What are you trying to say?”
“I am suggesting you examine your motivations. Saving them at any cost won’t make up for all that was done for you. The hole inside will remain as dark and cavernous as it was before. The only way to fix it is from the inside out.”
“Suddenly you’re an expert on psychology?” she said skeptically, crossing her arms beneath her chest.
“No. But I know the darkness intimately.” He frowned. “We’ll find no resolution here. Let us relocate inside of the house. Nakeeta wishes to examine you.” He stepped back and offered his hand, letting the disagreement disappear into the background. His smooth transition shocked her. She took his hand, and he helped her up the stairs. Studying the wood beneath their feet, she realized she had expected him to belittle and bully her into agreeing to his plan. I have to stop waiting for him to act like those in White Creek.
They entered the house, and Nakeeta strolled into the living room in black and red checkered flannel pajamas. Joss looked behind her for Crewe.
“He’s still sleeping. Despite the recent changes, this isn’t their usual time to be up.”
“I will leave you ladies here for now. If you need me, I will be in my room.” Kazimir bowed before he slunk away.
Too often, she forgot what it meant to be a vampire. All the times he appeared to her during the day was unnatural for him. He’d used magic, and his age to do that. It must take a toll on him.
“It’s easy to forget what they are, but we shouldn’t,” Nakeeta said softly. “They sacrifice for us. Both of them are from a time before our own. When men were providers, fierce warriors, and the heads of their family. The phrase ‘cut off your own nose to spite your face’ comes to mind. They will always strive to give us what we need. It’s our job to recognize what it costs them. In this way, we balance one another.” Nakeeta sank down beside her on the couch. “I won’t sit here and tell you a relationship between you will be easy. We’re wired differently, and raised in different times that cause many of our beliefs to clash. It’s a lot of work and compromise. I can say, it’s one-hundred percent worth it. With Crewe, I’m becoming the best version of myself, and I know I can trust him with my life. It’s not an experience I’m used to. I lived a solitary life the past few years before Crewe. I made some poor choices, and found myself mixed with dark magic.”
Joss’s jaw drop. “But you exude light.”
“Now. It took me a long time to get here, and I’m sure this journey I was placed on and my bond with Crewe had a lot to do with it. Once the darkness is let in, it never fully goes away. It’s like being a drug addict. You have a craving. It calls to you, seeks you out, and tempts you.” Nakeeta shuddered. “The best way to fight that darkness is love. I’m surrounded by that now. We are a family, even if it’s odd and at times slightly dysfunctional.”
“Why are you telling me this?”
“We’ve all watched Kazimir struggle. Crewe and I share a familial bond, we feel his struggle and anguish. I told him to tell you. Stubborn ass,” Nakeeta huffed.
“I’ve been doing this to him?”
“He did it to himself. The real question is now that you know, what do you plan to do about it?”
She shook her head. “I-I don’t know.” Sweat broke out on her brow and upper lip. Heat engulfed her face. She removed the scarf around her neck.
“Joss?” Nakeeta said softly.
“Is it suddenly hot in here?”
“No.” Nakeeta’s brown eyes narrowed. “This is not a human sickness. This is magical.”
“What?” She smacked her lips, searching for moisture.
“Lay down.” Nakeeta rose and hurried off, and Joss complied, suddenly weary. The room grew fuzzy, and her breathing grew labored. Her skin prickled as she was slowly submerged by the bond reaching out for her.
Her body jolted. Her vision blurred and refocused. The hard, cold slab of stone pressed against her bare back. She jerked in an attempt to free herself from the heavy manacles burning her skin and weighing her arms down at her side.
“All of this can end if you tell me what I want to know.” The witch stood above Isiah like a Sith Lord, shocking him with a blast of green energy.
“Don’t pay attention to what’s happening with my body.”
The masculine voice was thready and weak.
“Isiah!”
“I hide here in our bond to find relief. I don’t mean to keep pulling you in, but my mental walls are slowly eroding aw
ay. Eventually, my control will fail.”
“Where are you?” she asked.
“I don’t know. They shoved a black bag over my head and encased me in a magical prison. I couldn’t sense anything.”
“What do you want me to do?”
Static erupted in her brain.
“Get. Wooolves.”
“What? I don’t understand what you mean.”
“Go now!” He shoved her away from their bond. Twitching, she came back to herself in the tiny cabin, surrounded by familiar faces, along with a few new ones.
Nakeeta wiped her brow with a cool washcloth. “I think she’s back with us.”
“Get wolves,” she croaked.
“What are you talking about, solynshka?” Kaz knelt beside her, brushing her damp hair back from her face.
“Isiah said I needed to get wolves. I’m not sure what he meant.” She shook her head.
“Rest.”
“No, there’s no time for that.” She shook her head furiously.
“How do we stop this, Keeta?” Kaz asked.
“No.” Joss sat up. “This is a way to get an advantage over our enemies. We can’t afford to lose that. We’re still trying to figure out the nuances of the spell. We’re not ready. An edge is exactly what we need.”
“She’s right,” Cyprian said.
“Words I never thought I’d hear from you,” Joss mumbled.
“Count yourself lucky then, hmm?” he drawled.
She snorted.
“How long can she withstand this?” Kazimir asked, words clipped.
“I’m not sure. I can do things to help sustain her, but she will grow weaker.”
“Give me the time to find out something we can use against them,” Joss pleaded.
“Do what you can, Keeta. I need air.” He stood smoothly and flashed away.
“I’m going to check on him,” Crewe said softly before following his brother out of the cabin.
“How long was I out?” Joss asked softly.
“Hours.”
“My pack is going to kill me.”
Nakeeta pressed a staying hand on her shoulder. “You can’t leave. We have much to do yet. Everyone else, give us space.”
She watched curiously as the purple-haired vampire, brunette man, and blond mohawked man who felt like witches slipped away.
“You’ll meet Cian, Silver, and Reagan later. For now, I need you to close your eyes and block out everything else. I need to get you in tune with your body again. Isiah may borrow your strength and your headspace, but it’s yours. Your bond is wild and ungrounded. It’s why neither of you can control it. The two of you don’t see eye to eye.”
“That’s putting it mildly. Even now, the only thing that keeps me from turning my back on him is our past and the fact that this is bigger than my vendetta.”
“This is why you were chosen. You can see past the surface. Breathe with me.”
She listened to Nakeeta’s deep breaths in and out for counts of three. Following her example, she slipped into a meditative state.
“Now I want you to visualize the energy flowing through your body, from your crown on down. See the blood flowing through your veins, and the muscles that do the heavy lifting and the joints that flex. Imagine that powerful energy flowing into every part of you that makes you strong, increasing their size and efficiency.” Nakeeta’s voice held an almost hypnotic quality as she spoke. Joss’s body tingled as the magic the witch wove begin to flow into her body, restoring and strengthening. Her blood fizzled like champagne as peace and joy spread up to her heart and mind. It took her a few moments to realize Nakeeta had finished casting.
Clear-minded for the first time in days, she opened her eyes.
“How do you feel?”
“Like I slept for a month.”
Nakeeta chuckled. “That’s good. Are you up for meeting the others I know are lurking just around the corner?” she asked, rolling her eyes.
“Should we wait for Kaz?”
Nakeeta paused. “No, let’s give the two of them time to decompress. They understand each other after all of this time as brothers. Some days we need to hear harsh truths from those who’ve known us longest.”
Pop. Pop. Tiny explosions sounded. Little balls of light appeared in the air, like mystical popcorn. They danced above their heads.
“What is this?” Joss whispered.
“Old magic. The book.”
“It finally has more to say, non?” Cyprian asked.
Crewe appeared at Nakeeta’s side. “Is it safe?”
“Yes.”
“The book has a message to deliver. It wanted to get our attention,” Rainer said as she swept in from the hallway. Her pixie haircut was wilder than usual, and her eyes glowed in an almost cat-like manner.
“How do you know?” Cyprian asked.
“My ancestor, Blythe, came to me in a dream. The powers that be are displeased with us. We’re wasting time we don’t have.”
“Opposed to doing what, Rain?” Kaz asked as he perched on the side of the couch in the spot Nakeeta vacated.
“Learning how to come together as one,” Rainier said.
“How do you propose we do that, petite?” Cyprian asked.
“Wait and see.”
The popping continued, and the small lights filled the room, growing brighter and brighter, as they moved faster and faster, turning from gold to red to a brilliant blue. A loud boom sounded. The room shook when the lights exploded. Her stomach bottomed out as air rushed past her face. She landed in a heap of limbs on a firm surface.
Chapter Twelve
A purple light the size of a soccer ball flickered to life, illuminating their surroundings. She lay beneath Kazimir who rested heavily on top of her, far too still and cool. The light grew brighter. Joss flinched and braced herself for another assault by light.
“It’s okay. I’m controlling this one.” Joss turned her head and found Nakeeta in a similar situation with Crewe. Their men protected them with their own bodies.
“Where are we?”
“I have no clue.” Nakeeta carefully eased Crewe off her smaller frame, and Joss did the same with Kaz.
“Are they okay?” Joss asked shakily.
“Yes, this is the state they used to assume once the sun rose. It’s a sort of death, but it’s not permanent.”
“Are you sure?” Joss croaked.
“Reach out for him with your mind.”
Tugging at their bond, she felt him, muffled as though he were in a deep sleep. Exhaling, she slowed her racing heart. Tilting her head back she sniffed. The overpowering scent of earth, damp, and the lingering scent of decay gave no hint to their whereabouts.
“What do you smell?” Nakeeta asked as she slowly spun, taking in the large cavern.
“Earth, dampness, and people, though they’re long passed away.”
“You are in the Ciur-Izbuc Cave in Romania, where all of your people originated at one point.” A brown-skinned woman strolled toward them. Her long hair was an array of rich green growing plants. Butterflies perched on the hair at her temples and along her arms. A gentle white glow surrounded her long gown. Joss couldn’t help but believe she was in the presence of royalty.
Nakeeta knelt. “Earth Mother.”
“You know who this is?” Joss whispered.
“She’s the mother of all life.”
“I have been known by many names: Earth Woman. Mother Nature. Crow Mother. From the beginning, I’ve been by your side as you struggled into being, and began to grow. You’ve done wondrous, terrible things to each other.” She shook her head sadly. The maternal voice made Joss want to weep.
“We’re sorry, Mother. We know that we aren’t worthy to be in your presence.”
“Rise. I don’t require subservience. I need you to fight. This world wasn’t meant to be encased in darkness. The dark needs the light, like the masculine needs the feminine. It’s the way of things. Have you not noticed I placed you in pairs?” She ges
tured toward Crewe and Kaz who lay on the ground.
“Rainer is alone,” Nakeeta stated.
“For now,” Earth Mother answered cryptically.
“Where is she?” Joss asked.
“Where she needs to be,” Earth Mother said with a smile.
Nakeeta shook her head, her brow furrowed. “I don’t understand, why have you brought us here, Mother?”
“To make you understand. It’s about the whole. The group. The pack. Do you see?” She cupped her brown hands together, and large, vibrant magenta blooms sprung forth, giving off an exotic scent. “Little things must all come together to produce a blossom. Rain, sun, soil, and temperature. There’s a delicate balance to maintain a healthy life. Your balance was broken long ago, and what you see is decay.” The flower withered, falling in onto itself as it turned brown. “Mutated.” The slimy brown lump struggled to reform, sprouting crooked leaves, and a sickly green petal as it became a mockery of its original form. “You’ve been sick for so long. You trust it’s the proper way to be.” Tiny rivers ran down her face. “All of you were once attuned to the earth, and part of a bigger family. Returning to that system in this modern age is the only option for continued survival.”
“After all of the harm we’ve done to one another, do you really believe this is possible?” Joss asked, astounded.
“I’ve seen the world ravaged and reinvented many times. There’s little that isn’t possible.”
“How, Mother?” Nakeeta asked.
“With the one thing everyone understands. Power. Inside each of you resides the power of creation.” She walked toward Nakeeta. “I will fix what’s been warped inside of you. Rise, daughter, and receive your birthright.” Nakeeta stood, and Earth Mother kissed her forehead. Tulips sprung up from the ground beneath Nakeeta’s feet. A cocoon of violet power surrounded her, blocking her body from view.
Whining in the back of her throat, Joss shifted her weight. Attacking this powerful being would mean certain death.
“Relax, little wolf. She is merely changing like a caterpillar does before it becomes a butterfly. You are not yet whole. There are fragmented pieces inside of you that need to be joined.”