by Belle Zimet
She saw Troy sitting on the porch when she arrived. She took a breath and steeled herself for a lecture as she approached him.
“Boy, are you going to be mad about who I just saw.” She started as she sat down next to him.
“You saw Bryan, didn’t you?” He didn’t wait for her to respond to his assumption. “I had sex with her.”
“I’m sorry, what?” She asked quizzically.
“I had sex with her. I’m sure Bryan has told you now.” He said as he buried his head in his hands.
She hoped and prayed he didn’t mean who she thought he did. “What the hell are you talking about, Troy?”
“I had sex with Mercedes, Ella.” He cried out, muffled by his hands.
“Oh god, Troy,” she looked at him, mouth agape. “Is this some sort of joke?”
He shook his head morosely. “Oh god, I wish it were.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about. I didn’t come from seeing Bryan. I haven’t talked to him since he left.” She told him, still shocked by his damning revelation.
He laughed bitterly. “Of course. But I can’t act like I’m not relieved to get it off of my chest. It was haunting me for years.” He shook his head. “Long before she was.”
“Once?” She asked.
“Oh no, Ella, all the time.” He said as he was hunched over and continued to tensely run his hands over his hair. “We had an ongoing affair.”
“Long before she died?” She asked hopefully.
“No, right up until she died.” He corrected mournfully.
“You weren’t on the list.” She told him, as if she were trying to convince him and herself that his memories and guilt were all wrong.
“D was for Dolan, Ella. She used to call me by my last name lovingly.” He shook his head. “I was so relieved when you told me there were no T’s on there, but knew that once Bryan saw me it would be over.”
“He knew you were sleeping with her?”
“He must have, Ella. They were so goddamn close, and he was here one day when I was leaving. I wasn’t lying when I said nothing had ever transpired between us. He was just the strange kid from high school to me, but I was jealous of him later on when it came to Mercedes and he certainly didn’t like me for the same reason.” He looked at her imploringly. “I didn’t kill her. You have to believe me.”
“Of course you didn’t.” She told him. “I know you. I know you would never do that.”
“It was just a fling. It didn’t mean much of anything to her.” He told her, eyes begging.
“You didn’t have feelings for her?”
“No! Yes…I don’t know.” He cried sorrowfully. “She was intoxicating. I’d never dealt with someone like her and I did want more, though we agreed to keep it secret and keep it casual. Towards the end we were thinking of taking the next step.”
“Which was?”
“Her breaking up with Nick and being with me.” He admitted with a sigh.
“Does Alexa know?” Ella whispered, as if her name would conjure her up.
“No.” He barked. “It’s why Mercedes is here. I know it. She wants to out me for the bastard I am. For being with her sister under false pretenses,”
“How could you? Why would you?” She asked, knowing disappointment was dripping into her tone.
“I couldn’t tell anyone about our relationship so I just had to go it alone and act normal when Mercedes died. You don’t know how hard it was. I was in so much pain, and I couldn’t do anything about it. I’d known Alexa for years through you, but she’d just been a kid to me. When I met up with her again at your going away party I made an extra effort to talk to her. She was an adult then and I was compelled to find any bit of Mercedes in there. It started badly, but I fell in love with her and forgot about how I had felt about Mercedes.” He spread his hands helplessly. “I didn’t mean to start anything with her, but we just got closer and closer and things just kind of took their own course. I wanted to tell her so many times, but once we crossed the line into sex, I knew I would lose her for not having told her earlier.”
“You should have come forward to the police, Troy.” She told him. “They wanted to talk to all her lovers.”
“I couldn’t. How would it have looked? Except for Nick, she never saw anyone more than me and I would be the prime suspect behind him.” He argued.
“Troy, what if you had info on her that they needed to piece things together?”
“I didn’t, Ella. She kept all portions of her life separate. As I continued to talk with Alexa over the years, I realized how little I actually knew about Mercedes. I hear the list of people she was having sex with in her last month of life and realize that I knew even less.” He told her, eyes conveying truth.
She ran her hands through her hair nervously. “This is so fucked up.”
“I know.” He agreed loudly.
“How did you guys even meet?”
“We were dragged to the same frat party. I had already been in college for a few years, and it was after midterms and a buddy talked me into going. I wasn’t interested in watching goldfish racing, but went anyway. I spotted Mercedes across the room, and I knew of her from high school when she had been freshmen, and I’d talked to her briefly a few times while dropping you off. Obviously, every guy at the party was aching to talk to her, but she was aloof and deflected a battery of different guys. I was completely shocked when she made eye contact with me and waved me over with a smile.” He stared straight ahead unflinchingly while recounting the story. “She told me that she knew me and was glad the party wasn’t completely filled with troglodytes.” He laughed briefly before continuing. “She told me that she’d been forced to go also, but hated ritual hooliganism and I knew right then that she was no ordinary girl, far beyond her looks.”
“She sure wasn’t.” Ella agreed sadly.
“We talked for hours and at the end of the party she very casually asked if I wanted to have sex. I mean, what was I supposed to say? She was the most incredible girl I’d ever met up until then, and I’d never met someone so forward. I couldn’t pass it up. We got together that night and saw each other weekly for the next year.”
“And you think she was about to break up with Nick and be with you?” Ella clarified.
“That’s what he discussed.” He told her matter of factly.
“So you believe that Nick killed her?”
“It’s a very good possibility,” he told her. “But Bryan is also a good possibility.”
“What did she tell you about him?” Ella pushed.
“It was all good.” He admitted. “I have a feeling that she identified with him greatly and I was honestly surprised they hadn’t been together. IF they hadn’t been together.” He told her pointedly.
“Did you know she was sleeping with other people and were you mad about it?”
“Look, I knew she was actively seeing Nick. She never mentioned the others, of course, but she did warn me of her habits and that I couldn’t expect for her to be faithful even beyond just Nick.” He worked his jaw back and forth as he fidgeted with the side of the swing nervously.
“How did you feel about that?”
“Not good. I’ve never been built like that, even in college. I don’t randomly sleep with people. Generally.” He made sure to add.
“My god, Troy, this is a game changer.” She said as she stared ahead awkwardly, still unable to process her shock at his revelation. The reality of it complicated more matters than she could even address in her mind at once.
“Don’t I know it, Ella.” He shook his head, his usually carefree face etched with trauma and guilt, making her realize much of it must be a facade. “You can’t imagine what it’s been like moving here and having Mercedes haunting us. The guilt is eating me up and I keep wanting to come clean, but I just don’t know that Alexa could handle it.”
Ella finally turned to look at Troy directly, feeling perturbed. “Alexa seems to be able to handle a lot more than you give
her credit for. I think it’s you that can’t handle it.”
He stared at her angrily. “Thanks, sister. That’s really helpful.” He spat sarcastically.
“Look, it’s the truth. You built this relationship on a lie and are afraid of what's going to happen when you reveal that fact.” She told him candidly, unwilling to dance around subjects any longer with him.
“Can you blame me?” He demanded.
“No,” she said softly. “No, I can’t.”
“Do you think I should tell her?” He asked quietly.
“I honestly don’t know. What would it do besides break up your marriage and wreak serious havoc on both of you? Not to mention possible legal ramifications if she suspected you of hurting her sister. But, if this is why Mercedes has returned, and you plan to continue living here, you will need to re-evaluate.” Ella told him honestly.
“I don’t know that I can continue lying.” He admitted.
She grabbed his shoulders, forcing his eyes to connect with hers. “Keep it together for now. I still have a few avenues of investigation.”
“What are they?”
“You don’t want to know, and I’m not telling you.” She informed him bluntly.
“Great, what other serial murderer types can you possibly manage to befriend?” He said with a small touch of humor.
“I’m so not telling you.” She said as she stood up to go inside. “I have a lot to think about and I need to go to bed. Today has been the ultimate in revelatory drama.”
He nodded and managed a small, worried smile as she disappeared inside, finding solace in her room. Her mind was reeling from the new information. She knew that her next step had to be talking to Nick, and she knew it had to be soon. She decided to contact him the next day and attempted to ignore the butterflies that took up immediate residence in her stomach at the thought.
She also realized the gravity of Troy’s revelation in the realm of her budding relationship with Bryan. Clearly, Bryan had been within his rights to react to the shock of seeing Troy like he had. She hesitated in calling him and was ashamed to admit to herself why that was. She knew herself well enough to know that she wanted to see Nick first.
She had no intention of starting anything flirtatious with Nick, but old habits die hard, and she knew that the possibility was still a spark in her, though her mind screamed against it.
She was so tired that not even the fear of a Mercedes visitation could keep sleep at bay. She hadn’t even changed out of her clothes and fell asleep on top of the covers with the lights on.
The sun coaxed her out of bed easily the next morning. She’d slept like a log for ten straight hours, and the rest invigorated her and injected her with purpose. She flipped open her laptop immediately and searched for carpentry shops in Coronado. There were only a handful and had only called two before she reached Nick. The sound of his voice rendered her mute and she nervously hung up quickly. She knew that Nick would not connect her visit with the hang up as Bryan had, and let the confidence fuel her as she carefully got ready.
She thought about Bryan as she meticulously dried and styled her hair and applied her makeup. “You are such an asshole.” She told herself as she donned some tight, low rise jeans and a soft cowl neck sweater that was a deep shade of gray that set off her skin tone. She put her boots on and stared at herself in the mirror critically. She shook her head as she realized that she looked good enough to be on a date. She sprayed some perfume and left, thankful that Troy and Alexa were nowhere in sight.
She drove to Coronado with her stomach in knots the entire time. She knew she should be slightly concerned that Nick was a murderer, as she was seeing him with the intent to solve the murder he may have committed. For whatever reason, she found it impossible to muster the fear that she knew should be present.
She found the shop easily and parked purposefully far away so that she would have time to take a look at the place first and hopefully see him before he saw her. She straightened her back and approached slowly. Though there were plenty of windows, she couldn’t see Nick through any of them and silently lamented as she walked through the front door and looked around nervously at the beautiful furniture on display, in the small showroom. Based on the size of the building, there must be a sizable workshop in the back.
“Can I help you?” Came the unmistakable voice to her side.
Ella turned slowly and faced him full on. His blue eyes cycled quickly through confusion, shock and then pleasure as he took her in. There was a mutual moment of drinking in one another after all of these years.
Certainly if someone were to have a high school jock fantasy, as Joel had described, Nick would be the embodiment of it. He was as big and fit as ever with clean cut, sandy blond hair and bright, blue eyes. He’d clearly seen a lot of the sun as his skin was the color of creamed coffee with some character lines around his friendly eyes that only added to his appeal. He was wearing thick jeans, suitable for carpentry and a white T- shirt that hugged his broad shoulders proudly like an effortless shrine to his physique. He clearly didn’t dress to showcase his body, but just had a body that refused to not be accentuated and did the work for him.
She was suddenly very glad she had taken care with her appearance, first because he had maintained his looks, and second, because he was clearly appreciative of hers.
“Oh my god, Ella!” He cried out as he ran forward to gather her in a bear hug.
She had planned to be a little more reserved, and was thrown off slightly by the display of affection. He seemed to feel her body stiffen and he set her down immediately and moved to a respectable distance quickly, his eyes grieved.
“I’m sorry,” he told her quickly as he put distance between them. “I sometimes forget that virtually everyone from my youth thinks I’m a murderer. I apologize for making you uncomfortable.”
There was an awkward pause as she collected herself. “No, I’m sorry. I just didn’t know how to act.” She explained. “I don’t know what I think, but you never struck me as a murderer.”
“Thank you for that.” His eyes shone with carefully gated tears.
She nodded. “You look good.” She told him before she could help herself.
He shook his head and ran his hands through his hair. “Nah, not compared to you. You’re gorgeous.”
She couldn’t help but beam. “Thanks.”
“I mean, you were always so pretty, but you have really grown into a knock out of a woman.” He continued unabashedly.
“Well, you look pretty great too. You must have a lot of women throwing themselves at you in this shop.” She smiled.
He shrugged. “I do ok at getting them, it’s keeping them after they find out about my interesting past.” He said seriously. “Guilty in the court of public opinion. You can’t imagine how fast they run for the hills, Ella”
“I’m sorry, I can only imagine.”
He suddenly smiled and made a solid effort to change the subject. “I don’t mean to bring you down the second I see you. Did you intend to find me or is this just a happy random meeting?”
“I meant to find you, actually. I just moved back into town and I’ve wondered about you all these years. I’d like to catch up.” It was the truth, just not the whole truth.
“Yeah, great.” He said enthusiastically. “I’ll take an extended lunch and I can show you around Coronado.”
“I don’t want you to go to any trouble.”
“It’s a privilege. It’s just so good to see you, Ella. There really isn’t much going on around here today, and I’ll have my cell on me if there are any emergencies.” He assured her as he walked behind the counter and gathered his belongings and went to the back, where she heard him tell a coworker his plans.
Ella took the time to take in Nick’s carpentry handiwork. Ornate desks and Armoires were proudly displayed and the craftsmanship displayed was painstakingly beautiful and detailed. “You’re work is very impressive.” She called.
He appeared from be
hind a partition while shoving his wallet and keys in his pocket. “Thanks. I try and it’s definitely what I love doing the most.”
They walked out into the sunshine together and stopped to face one another, on the sidewalk. “So, what’s our plan?” She asked gamely.
“Let go to Hotel Del Coronado and hang out a bit, what do you say?”
She smiled and brushed her hair out of her face. “Sounds great. Want to drive separately?”
He shook his head. “Let’s just walk, it isn’t far.”
She took his cue and they started down the well manicured street together. The town was dotted with alternately funky and high-end shops and restaurants, with brightly striped awnings, making it picturesque. She didn’t have much time to take it in, as the stately old hotel was only blocks away.
“So where did you move from?” He asked conversationally.
“Oregon. I moved there when I got married.” She noted his confused glance at her empty ring finger. “We’re divorced. He cheated on me.” She told him bluntly.
“I’m sorry.” He told her genuinely.
She shrugged, indicating that she was not sorry. “What about you? Girlfriend?”
“Nope, never been married, no kids.” He listed off.
“You always wanted children so badly.” She remarked, surprised.
“Well, I wanted a lot. Things can change in the blink of an eye.” He said sorrowfully, as he stopped in front of the restaurant he’d clearly meant to take her to.
It was attached to the hotel, which was a sprawling 19th century gem, uniquely outfitted with rounded red roofs, and pristine white paint. They sat on the patio, which was situated to take in the stunning expanse of beach, and sparkling blue water, as far as the eye could see. It was enchanting, historically charged and it filled her heart with love for her hometown.
She caught him staring at her with a slight grin on his face. “What?” She said with a self conscious smile.
He shook his head in disbelief, embarrassed. “I’m sorry, it’s just so good to see you and you are just so beautiful. It’s hard not to stare”
She blushed visibly, and nodded her head in gratitude. “I cannot believe some woman hasn’t snatched you up off the market.” She told him truthfully.