by Belle Zimet
“I didn’t want to, but it looks like I don’t have much of a choice. I don’t want people to know what I did.” She said, resigned.
“If we’re dead and you run then they’ll know that you killed us.” She persuaded. “You haven’t done anything yet.”
“I don’t want people to know I killed Mercedes.” She corrected vacantly.
Ella’s shock bombarded her face with lifted eyebrows and an agape mouth. She supposed she should have thought of that as a possibility before now. Alexa regarded her from her candlelit chair.
“Oh come on, you would have found out eventually.” She said matter of factly. “You didn’t seem to be giving up.”
“I thought it was Bryan.” She argued. “It’s news to me that you killed her. You weren’t even a suspect.”
“You should have just stopped,” Alexa said with annoyance emanating from her shaky voice. “I just wanted to be a family here.”
“I couldn’t stop. Mercedes wouldn’t let me.” She said directly.
“Stop with the Mercedes shit. That godless bitch is gone, she is not a ghost.” Alexa slammed the side of her chair angrily with her hand, but didn’t move any more than that.
Ella winced at the sudden aggressive display, wanting to disappear into the chair.
“How can you just kill your husband and best friend?” She asked half out of desire to stall and half out of genuine, frightened curiosity.
“Oh, come off it, Ella. We haven’t been best friends since Mercedes died. You had no idea what to do with me or how to treat me when she was gone, so you just gave up. If I hadn’t married Troy, you would have moved to Oregon with that asshole and would have never spoken to me again.” She said, voice even and without malice..
“That’s not true.” She cried. Though in fact it probably was true. It had been easier to not talk to her than to awkwardly treat her with uncertain kid gloves. Relations had been strained, even if she’d refused to admit it to herself before now. She’d wanted so badly to be a good friend and not give up, but now with this admission of guilt from Alexa, she knew she could be exonerated from that notion.
“Look, I don’t blame you. I didn’t know how to act like a grieving sister, so I just kind of disappeared into the role of a joyless person to compensate. I was a drag to be around.” Alexa shrugged calmly. “It’s actually kind of nice to get this off my chest.”
“You aren’t sad she’s gone at all?” Ella knew she was risking provocation, but hoped it would just encourage Alexa to talk until Ella had a chance to formulate a plan or get her hands free. She had been continuing to try and work the ropes around her wrists and was trying not to wince as her skin was being rubbed raw. Every small movement tore at delicate flesh mercilessly, making her breath catch.
“To risk sounding completely soulless...no, I don’t miss her.” Alexa said with a slight inappropriate smile playing at her lips. “But I didn’t mean to kill her, or that is to say I hadn’t planned to kill her. It just kind of happened.”
“Did you make that peephole?”
“Ha! I can’t believe you found that.” Alexa snorted. “Funny story, and actually kind of indicative of why I hated her. Do you know who I lost my virginity to?”
“I can’t remember his name, but was it that greasy senior when you were 17?” Ella was taken aback by the random question and more taken aback by Alexa’s exceedingly calm timbre.
“No, I never told you. I lost it to Joel when I was 15 years old.” She smiled mirthlessly.
“What?” Ella responded dumbly.
“That’s right. He fucked me on the cold ground outside this house during a party with Mira right inside. He didn’t even put down his shirt for me to lie on or care that I was a virgin. He just rammed it into me.” Alexa said, shaking her head with a snort.
“You were raped?” Ella said with a sharp intake of breath. Was this where the trauma began for her? Is this how Alexa started to get to this place?
“No, I just wanted virginity to be over with. I wanted to see what Mercedes was feeling with all these men and see if I could control them with it the way she did. He was wasted drinking beer after beer on the porch and I came out. It didn’t take much for him to start slobbering on me, and I figured he was good looking and knew what he was doing, and my first could have been worse.” She leaned forward and put her palms on her knees, as if reliving it was becoming too much for her, but she carried on nonetheless. “You know what he started talking about after he came? Mercedes.”
Ella cringed at her burning and probably now bleeding wrists and she hoped that Alexa thought it was because of the story. She was having a hard time keeping up a rhythmic low profile with working her hands as she’d finally felt some give in the rope, and the promise of freedom was too tantalizing to be cautious and slow down.
“Sitting there with my blood on his dick and he starts talking about her. I guess it was only fair because as he pounded into me the only thing I could do to keep from crying was pretend he was Nick.”
“You were in love with Nick?”
“Yes. How could I not be?” She mused. “But he never once looked at me like anything more than a kid. No one really did when she was around, and I had the feeling even if she didn’t have the looks she would have commanded the same attention, and it was fucking annoying.”
“He was your sister’s boyfriend, Alexa. He would have been a terrible person to start eyeing you.” She tried to rationalize.
“It didn’t stop him from making out with you.” Alexa said pointedly, looking at Ella’s nonplussed face. “Surprised I knew? I know everything.”
“I wasn’t related to his girlfriend.” Ella said, wondering if Alexa also knew she’d also had a romantic moment with Mercedes.
“It doesn’t matter anymore.” Alexa said, crossing her legs casually in the other direction. “Where was I? Oh! So Joel immediately started asking me about Mercedes and who she was screwing and I ignored him. He came by a few nights later drunk and found his way into my room. After he used me again he told me he’d only start dating me if I could arrange for him to watch Mercedes. He wanted a key to the house and to know what was all around her room so he could rig something. At first he wanted to set up a camera, but when I told him about the attic and he decided to make the experience more personal and made the peephole.”
“You just let him spy on your sister while he did god knows what?” She asked, unable to hide her disgust.
“We both know what he was doing, or he’d get hot and bothered and come down to have sex with me. It was the only way he’d give me the time of day.” She explained, taking the look on Ella’s face in stride. “I didn’t even like him, but I liked the attention and thought it wouldn’t hurt to have a jock boyfriend.”
“Clearly that didn’t end up happening.” She pointed out as Joel stayed with Mira and no one had even known about his dalliance with Alexa. Ella recalled that when she had spoken with Joel he hadn’t even remembered who she was at first.
“No, it didn’t. I grew tired of him and he began paying less and less attention to me, and stayed with Mira. He didn’t even tell me anymore when he was in the attic, when I’d expressly told him he would have to. I told him to leave and never come back and told my parents that I was afraid there was a homeless person in the attic. They saw his blankets and beers up there and were scared enough to change the locks.” She explained with a little laugh.
“I spoke with Joel recently, and he was very aggressive. Surely this did not go over well with him.” Ella said quickly. She had to bite her lip to keep from whimpering at the continuous searing pain at her now ravaged wrists.
“No, he was so angry. He raised his hand to hit me and I told him to go ahead because it would be more evidence in a rape and abuse case, he’d been held back a grade and had just turned 18, and he was at least smart enough to know that his athletic career and life would be ruined with a statutory rape conviction. I’d made sure we’d had sex before I told him to get lost,
and even took it from him without a condom to get the most evidence I could in case I needed to use it.” Alexa slapped her knee and chuckled.
“That’s pretty devious, Alexa.” She offered, not sure whether it would be taken as a compliment. “I never would have known all this about you.”
“That’s because you’ve never known me,” she said bitterly before moving on. “Joel was still angry but left quietly. I found myself attracted to the peephole and began watching her by myself.” She looked at the revulsion on Ella’s face before continuing. “I know what you’re thinking, and no, I wasn’t getting off on it. I wanted to see what she did, how she dominated these men. See what I’d been missing with Joel. Around that time, Troy entered the picture and I was disgusted at how they carried on under Nick’s nose. She had a bunch of partners, but she never saw anyone more than a couple times. But him, she not only saw frequently, but it was intimate. I could tell she had feelings for him, and I think I fell in love with him as I watched him grow feelings for her. He was so sweet and tender and such a far cry from the routine rammings I’d received from Joel.”
Right then they heard a crash outside and Alexa jumped up and opened a drawer next to her and pulled out a small gun. She looked worried as she looked at her watch and then ran from the room. Ella could hear her ascend the stairs and then descend rapidly. Ella tried to cock her head to the side to try and catch a glimpse of what was happening.
She saw Troy stagger into the room and she had to clear her throat quietly for him to even see her, despite looking around frantically. He appeared groggy, and was leaning on every piece of furniture as he ambled along to stay on his feet.
“Untie me.” She whispered insistently. “Where is Bryan?”
“Still asleep,” he explained as he kneeled behind her and started on the rope, sucking in his breath when he saw her ravaged wrists. “I jumped off the balcony when I woke up.”
“Move away, Troy.” Came Alexa’s commanding voice behind them.
Alexa moved in front of them and pointed the gun at the both of them. “Honey, I need you to help me with something.” She said sweetly to Troy.
“What the hell are you doing, Alexa?” He asked as he swayed uncontrollably. “Stop this now before you’ve done something too terrible to come back from.”
“I already killed my sister and I don’t know what could really be worse than that.” She said with her head cocked to the side. “Sweetie, I forgot that you missed that part of the story.”
Troy gasped and looked at Ella confused, who confirmed with a head nod.
“I need you to drag Bryan downstairs,” she said. “I’m going to come with you, of course.”
She walked over and bent down to look at Ella’s wrists and make sure Troy hadn’t made any progress untying her. “Naughty girl, you’ve been working on this.” She motioned for Troy to get in front of them. “You’re still too stoned so I’m going to have to re-tie her and for that I will need to put the gun down. If you try to move, I will grab it quickly and shoot her in the head. Do you understand?”
He nodded and she quickly re-knotted it and gave no mercy in tightening it until Ella screamed in pain as it ripped into her tender, already raised and scraped flesh.
“You’re already bleeding, Ella. If you keep this up you’ll hit bone.” Alexa whispered into her ear.
“Alexa!” Troy yelled in response to Ella’s pained screams.
Alexa just smiled and moved back and motioned for Troy to come, he hesitantly joined her as they both disappeared from sight. She sat there, frightened and left only with her thoughts as she heard bangs and crashes on the second floor. After an undetermined amount of time she heard leaden steps and something sweeping on the floor. She turned her head to see Troy come into view, breathing heavily and dragging Bryan’s limp body into the room. He hauled him with a labored grunt onto a chair across from Ella and Alexa instructed him to tie him to it. After it was finished Alexa grabbed some handcuffs out of the same drawer she’d gotten the gun from and quickly handcuffed Troy to the leg of an old fashioned metal fireplace in the room.
“I got this stuff from a cop I fucked last week.” She explained, tone benign. “He’s going to have a hard time explaining how he lost it all.”
Troy looked at her with disgusted surprise. “Wow.”
“Oh come on, sweetie. Did you think that I could pretend to be a different person for you all these years without letting out my aggression somewhere?” She laughed.
“Is this baby even mine?” He roared.
“If there were a baby, it probably wouldn’t be yours.” She said with a cold, precise grin.
“You lied about being pregnant?” He asked incredulously.
“In light of recent revelations it may be hard to believe right now, but I love you as much as I am capable of. I didn’t want to lose you and needed something fast to bond us.” She explained, looking at him with a sham of a loving expression.
“What were you going to do at that first doctor’s appointment? How would you have explained it?” He continued, seemingly currently desensitized to the fact that they were all restrained and at her mercy.
“Faked a miscarriage for sympathy or actually gotten pregnant at that point.” She told him with a blasé shrug.
“You’re a disgusting person.” He spat out. “How did I ever fall in love with you?”
“Probably because you were still trying to chase my sister’s vagina into the grave.” She leaned over with a smile and attempted to kiss him on the mouth, which he avoided by turning his head in disgust.
“You think you’d be a little nicer, since I could kill your sister at any time, Troy.” She admonished, standing up straight.
“You’re going to kill us anyway.” Ella chimed in.
“Oh, would you like to get right to it?” She asked with a smile. “I could start with Bryan.”
She stopped in front of him and squatted over his legs and leaned forward to look at his sleeping eyes. “He never actually slept with Mercedes, you know? I always hoped he would but it never happened. It was nice to see her get rejected though. I told you that because I still hoped you would give up and I knew Bryan must have known about Troy and Mercedes.” She stood back up and turned to face Ella. “It was a shame you guys didn’t have sex in the house either where I could see.”
“You were spying on me too?” She demanded.
“I’m just messing with you,” she laughed. “Though I did try, but the attic door would never open. I’m not sure how you guys got it to budge. Tonight was the first time I was able to open it.”
“We done here?” Alexa asked at the lull in conversation.
“Absolutely not. Why did you kill her?” Ella stalled quickly.
“Did I miss something?” Bryan suddenly said in a wavering, groggy voice.
“Nice of you to join us, Bryan.” Alexa said amiably. “Troy had to drag you all the way down here.”
He looked around and took it all in with hooded eyes and his weary eyes rested on her. “Are you OK, Ella?”
“I’ve certainly been better, but I’m ot badly injured, anyhow.” She assured him before looking at Alexa. “Tell us why you killed her.”
“Not long after Troy entered the picture, I started having problems concentrating in school, and no matter what I would do, I was gaining weight. I knew I had to do something to be in the running for Nick or Troy so I began binging and purging regularly. Unfortunately Mercedes caught me throwing up in the bathroom one day. She told my parents and they sent me away to a facility for bulimia without much discussion.”
“I don’t remember that.” Ella said, racking her brain.
“That’s because I told you I was going to New York for the summer and the first two weeks of school. I came back not only diagnosed with bulimia but they’d also diagnosed me with narcissism and antisocial personality disorder.”
“Sounds about right.” Bryan mumbled.
“Shut up!” She suddenly screamed at him, he
r demeanor changing from calm to crazed in a matter of seconds. Alarming rage flared up in her eyes and before anyone could react she strode over to Bryan and hit him over the head with the butt of the gun and his head slumped forward.
“No, don’t hurt him!” Ella screamed in alarm as she tried in vain to get out of her chair, culminating in burning pain in her wrists that paralyzed her quickly in searing agony. She felt warm, sticky blood sludge down the sides of her hand and winced.
Alexa turned to her with again placid eyes. “None of those things were wrong with me.”
Ella wasn’t about to argue with her despite the obvious, and she prayed Troy would remain quiet, which he did. “Alexa, can you please at least check Bryan’s breathing? Is he OK?”
Alexa ignored her. “They locked me up with crazy people for three months and when I told the sadistic asshole doctor there about Joel he called me a slut and raped me. He did it nightly and even arranged for me to have my own room so he could sneak in nightly and force me to do all the sick things he wanted. When I threatened to tell he said he’d make sure everyone knew I was crazy and I’d be locked up there until I was at least 18, but if I went along with it he’d have me out in time for the new school year.” She whimpered as she stared ahead, trauma flooding onto her delicate features.
“My god, Alexa. That is terrible.” She said genuinely horrified, though she was still preoccupied with Bryan’s condition. It was dark, but thankfully she could still make out his form stirring slightly.
“Don’t mock me.” She warned, voice low. “And don’t pity me. What happened to me only showed me what I needed to see. The world is shit, men are shit and my sister was the devil.”
She stopped for a minute to throw open the liquor cabinet and pop the top of some sort of spirit and begin to guzzle it. “When I came back I hated Mercedes. She single handedly put me there, and I know she loved it. I came back different, and I know Mercedes knew something happened. She never even apologized for it and was still whoring around and had two men that I wanted. I wanted to just tell both Troy and Nick how she was playing them, but realized they were so into her, that they would have eventually forgiven her. After all, they both already knew she was fucking half of San Diego. I decided to wait until I could really do something to hurt her.”