by Amanda Ashby
“That girl, Diana, who I was getting…friendly with. She was pissed at me. Like really mad, and I guess she was trying to find a way to get back at me. Through Via.” Zac bowed his head. “She doesn’t even live in Cricket Bay, but she knows enough people who do. It’s gone viral.”
Hudson ran a hand through his hair.
He couldn’t care less about a stupid photo or what anyone on social media wanted to say about him. But Via—
Oh, hell.
“Where is she?”
“She’s at the cabin. We’re all meant to be going into town, but I’m about to find my folks and tell them they’re getting some quality time with their favorite son. She’s pretty upset,” he said, and then let out an angry breath. “I’m sorry, man. I screwed up.”
“Can I go and see her?”
Zac nodded. “She…well, you probably know she’s got a thing about being the center of attention. Just be patient with her.”
“Of course.” Without another word he swiveled around and limped his way to Via’s cabin, trying not to think the worst.
11
Since when is Zac Mackenzie’s sister such a freak?
And who is that loser guy she’s with?
My eyes. They burn. So didn’t want to see this gruesome twosome on my feed today.
Via put down the phone and rubbed her temples. Her skull was pounding, and there was a good chance she was going to throw up. She’d brought it all on herself.
Why had she kissed Hudson so close to the cabins?
Because he was in pain, and I wanted to help him.
Instead, she’d managed to make a fool of herself. Part of her wanted to blame Zac. If he hadn’t been such a flirt, Diana wouldn’t have been looking for revenge. And none of this would have happened. But even as she thought it, she knew it was untrue. It was just a matter of time.
They probably would have been outed on the first day back at school.
It could have been worse.
Her chest tightened, and she sat down on the edge of the bunk bed.
There were ten missed calls from Frankie, along with text messages. She should return them. But that would involve moving or thinking. She wasn’t in a hurry to do either.
Someone tapped on the door. She wrapped her hands around her stomach and braced herself. Zac never knocked, and he’d promised to intercept their parents and drag them into town, which meant it could only be one person.
Hudson.
“Come in,” she managed to call, not moving.
The door creaked open and a shaft of light poured in. Hudson stood in the doorway. His hair had gone lighter in the sun. His cheekbones and jaw made smooth lines on his face, while his caramel eyes were wide with worry.
Worry about her.
He cautiously limped toward her, pausing only to close the door behind him.
“Hey, how are you doing?” His soft voice rolled over her like a gentle wave.
“Not great.” She hugged herself tighter as he sat at the far end of the bed, out of touching distance. Like he knew she was about to fall apart.
“Zac showed me the photo.” He scanned her face, as if checking for clues. “I know you must be freaked, but Via, it’s just a dumb photo, and the idiots who commented on it are—”
“Are kids in my homeroom. In my calculus class. Eating in the cafeteria. They’re everywhere.”
“I know it sucks. But school isn’t even back for two weeks. By then they will have forgotten all about it,” he said. Then his face tightened. “Unless you’re worried because you’ve been caught with…me.”
There was uncertainty in his voice now, making her feel even worse.
“No, it’s not that. It’s—” She broke off, searching for the words to tell him what the overwhelming darkness felt like. How she couldn’t breathe. How she felt like she was drowning. But she’d never been able to explain it to her parents or Zac, and she still couldn’t do it now.
Tears jabbed in the corner of her eyes as a familiar tightness caught in her chest.
Hell.
Hudson leaned toward her, eyes filled with concern. “Are you okay?”
No. Not even a little bit.
She sucked in a ragged breath and nodded as her skin prickled with clammy heat while the vise-like grip increased.
“I-I need to be alone,” she managed to gasp.
Indecision tore across his face. “I think I should stay. What if—”
She managed to shake her head. “No. I…please. It will go quicker if I’m on my own.”
Her temples were pounding now, and her entire body was starting to tingle. Her breath was shallow in her chest. Hudson’s face was devoid of color, but he slowly got to his feet, his eyes never leaving hers.
“At least call me when you’re feeling better.”
“I will,” she croaked. She waited until he’d left before she fumbled with her phone and crammed the buds into her ears. She scrolled to find the calming voice of the meditation. The only way to stop it was to block out the world and hope like crazy it would eventually go away.
xxxx
“You’re quiet tonight.” Via’s mom packed away the deck of cards she’d been using to play solitaire.
“Just tired.” It wasn’t a lie. The never-ending wave of panic had lasted most of the day, but she’d managed to calm herself down by the time Zac and her parents had returned from town. She’d even managed to eat pizza with them. Now she was wiped out.
“You do look pale. I might take your temperature.”
“It’s my fault. I told her ghost stories last night,” Zac chimed in from his own bunk. “Sometimes I forget what a great actor I am.”
Their mom gave him a level glare. “Ghost stories? Really? You’re sixteen now, Zac, not ten.” She swung her attention back to Via. “Don’t forget your breathing. And remember what Doctor Randolph said—”
Via hugged the pillow to her chest. The only consolation was that her parents didn’t know about the photo, or that she’d been briefly dating Hudson.
“Mom, I’m fine. It was just a dumb…story. Don’t worry.”
“I’m having an early night. You might want to do the same.”
“Sure.” She waited until the bedroom door shut before turning to her brother. “Thanks for the save.”
“Least I could do. You want to talk?”
“No…I just need to sleep.”
Her brother didn’t answer and she crawled under the covers, her mind still spinning around. The comments on the post whirled through her mind like barbed arrows. Was this going to happen every time she and Hudson were together?
It wasn’t fair.
When it was the two of them it was fine. Being closed off from the world where no one could see them made her feel safe.
He made her feel safe.
But even if she wanted to, they couldn’t take home the protective dark skies of Camp Doom.
There was always going to be someone around. Especially now they were obviously worthy of being laughed at.
She hadn’t returned any of Hudson’s text messages, mainly because she didn’t know what to say. Last night she’d been his girlfriend. It had been perfect and wonderful. Until it wasn’t.
The worst thing was, it wasn’t anything he’d done. He’d been nothing short of amazing. But as the day had gone on and her shallow breathing had continued, she’d realized there was only one solution to make it go away.
Tears rolled down her cheeks, and she quickly stuffed her buds back in her ears. Music pumped in, trying to drown out the one thought that wouldn’t go away.
The only way for it to stop was for them to break up.
xxxx
Hudson was pretty sure he was going crazy. Yesterday had gone on forever. Via had sent him a text message at eleven last night to say she was fine but needed more time. Great. He’d had a girlfriend for a nanosecond before she got a panic attack because the world discovered she’d been kissing him.
Yup. Feeling really great
about myself.
He swallowed.
That was unfair. Via was smart. She knew why she was freaking out, and he’d promised he was fine with it. And he was. If he could at least speak with her. His phone beeped with a text message, but it was just another one from his dad. Closely followed by one from his mom.
They were still arguing with each other, and he was still stuck in the middle.
So flattering. He deleted them both. There was only one person he wanted to hear from.
In the distance Zac was having a deep conversation with someone on his phone. He considered asking him where Via was but thought better of it. Zac might let his sister fight her own battles, but he wouldn’t betray her secrets.
Which meant he’d have to hunt her down.
How hard could it be?
An hour later he was regretting those words. His ankle hurt, and the sky was shimmering with heat. He’d searched everywhere. Well, apart from the tree, because that would be way too—
He let out a groan.
Too obvious.
Which was why she’d gone there. If only he’d been as smart as she was.
Sweat was beading on his brow by the time he reached the copse where it had all begun. There she was. Tanned legs stretched out along the branch, and her back pressed against the trunk. The branch was lower down and thicker than the last one. No doubt making sure she didn’t fall onto him again.
Via never did like to make the same mistake twice.
He swallowed and swung his crutches forward until he was standing at the base.
“Nice view up there?”
There was a rustling noise and a soft groan as she peered down at him. Glossy brown curls tumbled around her face, and her gray eyes were smudged with dark lines. He obviously wasn’t the only one who hadn’t slept.
“H-Hudson,” she stammered. “I…this isn’t what it looks like. I’m not avoiding you.”
“Clearly.” His throat tightened. Now he’d found her, he had no idea what to say. “I wanted to make sure you were okay.”
“I’m sorry.” Her face was statue-still as the color drained away. She closed her eyes, and his stomach clenched. Not quite the answer he wanted.
“What are you sorry for?”
There was more silence, apart from the rustle of insects and the sway of branches in the light breeze.
“This isn’t going to work.”
“Because of one lousy photo? Via, I know it freaked you out, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t…” He trailed off, not sure what was meant to come next. Date? Be together? Be friends?
“I thought I could do it, but I can’t.” Her voice was thick, like she’d been crying.
“Don’t I get a say?” he said as an all-too-familiar shaft of frustration slammed into his chest. His parents’ divorce. Getting palmed off for the summer vacation. Getting dumped. “I meant what I said. I don’t care how we do this, I just—”
“Hudson, I can’t. It’s too hard.”
The frustration morphed and rippled into anger. “Via, you can’t keep hiding up trees to avoid life.”
“That’s not fair.”
“Life isn’t fair.” His tangled life flashed in front of his vision, and he swallowed down a bitter bark of laughter.
“Hudson—” she said, and then broke off as her face turned into a reserved mask. He’d seen it enough times to know what it meant. Discussion was over. It was the day after the science fair. And the day after that. No chance for him to speak or to explain anything. No chance to say what he wanted.
Because apparently it didn’t matter.
“It’s fine, Via. Don’t worry, I’ll keep out of your way from now on. You don’t need to rub it in by hiding from me.”
“That’s not what this is,” she protested, but there was no force to it.
His fingers tightened around the crutches, knuckles turning white. “You know what sucks the most? You think that night was the most humiliating thing that’s ever happened to you. But for me it was the greatest. I guess I’ll see you around, Via.”
He paused, but there was no answer. No doubt she was already pressing herself back into the trunk of the tree, trying to pretend he didn’t exist.
Well, she could join the line.
xxxx
Hudson let his crutches fall to the floor and flopped down on the bottom bunk. So, that happened. Via had bailed on him. The first time she’d done it, he’d definitely been to blame and had spent the last two years feeling like a douchebag. But this time the only thing he did was let himself fall for her.
Let himself kiss her.
Let himself get destroyed by her.
Part of him knew she hadn’t wanted to hurt him, but it didn’t make anything better. He was still alone. And worse than before. Because she had given him hope, then ripped it away.
He wasn’t sure how long he lay there before a crack of light appeared as the front door slowly pushed open and his aunt walked into the cabin.
“There’s someone here to see you,” she said in a gentle voice.
Via?
Hope slammed in his chest as he sat up, but it wasn’t her. Instead his mom stepped into the cabin. Followed closely by his father. As ever, their timing was impeccable.
He fell back on the bed and shut his eyes. “What are you both doing here?”
“Hudson—” his aunt started.
“It’s okay, Ruth.” His dad cut her off. “He has every right to be pissed. We haven’t exactly been fair to him this summer.”
“Or since the divorce,” his mom added in a softer voice. “Please, H. We really are here to talk. No more arguments. We want to see what you want.”
For a start, he wanted to have not been dumped by Via Mackenzie after only two days.
He reluctantly opened his eyes and propped himself up on an elbow. “Fine. Talk.”
“Here?” His dad looked around at the sparse cabin.
“We can’t all go to Seattle or on a cruise for the summer,” Ruth interjected, then gave Hudson an encouraging smile. “I’m going to leave you guys to it. But Hudson, I’m right outside if you need me.”
“Thanks,” he murmured and hauled himself out of the bunk. His crutch was nearby, but he ignored it and limped over to the table in the middle of the room. He sat down and his parents joined him. His mom was tanned, but there were purple smudges under her eyes, and his dad’s mouth was in a tight line. “What do you want to talk about?”
“How about parents behaving badly?” His mom let out a long sigh. “Ruth called and gave us both a wake-up call. Your father and I were so angry at each other…and at life…that we didn’t consider how you were handling everything.”
“Your mom’s right. You’ve always done so well at school, and even as a kid, you never demanded much attention. We assumed you were doing fine. Whereas we were both trying to navigate new lives, new relationships.”
He folded his arms, still not really sure what they were doing here. Any minute now it would end up in a bickering match and they’d stick him in the middle of it. Or forget he was there. His mom flinched and seemed to pick up on his mood.
“None of which is any excuse.”
“I take it your summer hasn’t been great.” His dad sounded guilty.
“Does it matter?” He shrugged.
“Yes,” his mom said in a fierce voice as tears fell down her cheeks. “It does matter. We messed up, Hudson. We’d like you to come back to Cricket Bay today and we can sit down properly. Work out a way to make all of our lives work. Together.”
“That’s if you want to. Though I hope you do, buddy.”
He shut his eyes.
A week ago, all he wanted was to leave Camp Doom. But now…
But now nothing’s changed.
If he stayed for the last week, he’d have to see the spaces where Via should have been, if she wasn’t hiding from him. And if he did see her—
Well, he already knew how it would be.
She’d ghost him. Li
ke it had never happened.
He opened his eyes and nodded. “Okay. I’ll go.”
12
This was why she didn’t date. Because it wasn’t worth the effort. Crushing on someone led to heartbreak and humiliation. Correction. Crushing on Hudson Trent led to heartbreak and humiliation.
For both of them. At least with the science fair, she’d been the only one who was hurt.
Why hadn’t she been able to find the words to say how sorry she was?
Instead she’d been forced to watch his face drain of color. Hurt flicker in his caramel eyes. All while she was stuck in a stupid tree. Well, she was done. No more boys.
She let out a bitter laugh. It had never been a problem avoiding boys. Which meant it was only one boy she had to stay away from.
A lump caught in her throat.
“Nature girl strikes again,” a voice said from somewhere below. She didn’t bother to look down. Just pressed her back farther into the rough bark. Her breathing was still shallow. She screwed her eyes shut.
“Go away, Zac.”
“Negative.” There was a rustle of branches, and she tightened her grip. Falling out of a tree once might be an accident, but twice was irresponsible. Her brother was suddenly on the next branch over, long legs casually stretched out like he was a panther. Once again, he could adapt to anything. Unlike her. Her chest tightened. “It’s okay. Count it out, Vee. One. Two. Three.”
Tears caught in her eyes as his hand was on her arm, his calming voice in her ear. The iron grip loosened itself, and she let out a shuddering breath.
“How did you find me?”
“Twin instinct,” he instantly said, then grinned. “Ally saw Hudson walking out of here, looking like he’d been punched in the gut. Wasn’t hard to figure out your modus operandi.”
“Stop trying to impress me by using Latin.” She wiped away a tear. “Thanks.”
“Always.” He shrugged. “Was it bad?”
“The panic attack or the breakup?”
“You really broke up?” He let out a long whistle. “I thought you guys…well…it gave me hope.”