by Ike Hamill
“Like me,” June said.
“Don’t pity yourself. It’s unattractive,” Allison said. “But my point in telling you all of this is to underscore how difficult it was when Mumma Claire left. I couldn’t begin to comprehend why she was leaving. To me, all the fights and everything were a normal part of life. It didn’t occur to me that she was so unhappy that she had to leave, or where she would go, or that I wouldn’t see her for a long, long time. I had no frame to hang that in. As I got older, I started to really resent Mumma Claire. Whenever anyone would talk about her, I would simply say that I hated her and I would leave the room. The rumor went around that she had started to live with Phillip Sturtevant of the Oxford County Sturtevants. Of course I had heard of them. Everyone had a story about the Sturtevants. My brother Andrew was the first to meet Phil and he said that the man was only three-quarters human, at best.”
“What does that mean?” Jules asked.
“Unfortunately, I only took Andrew’s declaration at face value. I assumed that he was being completely literal and I never investigated any farther.”
“What was the other quarter supposed to be?”
Allison shook her head and shrugged.
“Mumma Claire gained weight,” Allison said. “I spotted her down at Service Merchandise one afternoon and I ran the other way. I ducked into that wooden toy store until Mumma Claire got into a car and drove away. There was also a picture of her when she was heavy. Maybe she was pregnant and maybe she was just packing on the pounds for a little while.”
Allison pointed at Auggie. “She definitely wasn’t as big as when she had you, but Trudy wasn’t born until late fall, so I might have just seen Claire when she just started to show.”
“Was Mumma married to Mr. Sturtevant?” Auggie asked.
“Good question,” Allison said. “I wasn’t close enough to see a ring when I saw her. There is one photograph that shows something sparkling on her ring finger. Tommy said that he remembers an announcement in the paper, but of course I would have never read the newspaper back then. Poppa didn’t take one and I had no reason to go seek one out.”
“We could check that,” Deidra said. “A quick search could figure out if they were ever married.”
“Maybe,” Allison said. “Regardless, I’m not sure it would give you much information about Trudy. The Sturtevants back then were very private people. They kept to themselves and, as we found out, they didn’t report things like births and deaths. So I wouldn’t be too sure that they would go out and publicize their marriages. It seems more likely that Tommy either imagined the newspaper article or he just told us about it to get a rise out of Poppa. Tommy loved to get Poppa worked up.”
“I don’t believe that Trudy was hers,” Judy said. “Trudy was born in seventy-five and Auggie is eighty-three. That means that Mumma would have left her little girl when she was, what, seven?”
“Five,” Allison said. “Mumma Claire came back to live here with Horace in eighty-one, so Trudy would have only been five at the time. She was raised by the Sturtevants until she was fifteen. When she moved in here, I knew that she was lying about her age. I had no idea she was that young until much later.”
Allison took another sip of tea and then put her feet down on the floor.
“I need to pay a visit down the hall.”
# # # #
As soon as Allison left the room, everyone huddled together over the coffee table.
“You believe her?” Auggie asked.
“Of course,” June said immediately. “Why would she lie to us?”
Deidra raised her eyebrows.
“That’s always the question with Aunt Allison,” Jules said. “Why would she lie? Honestly, I don’t think she thinks of it as lying. Sometimes she tells herself an alternate story so many times that it becomes more real than the truth.”
“That’s a great way of putting it,” Deidra said.
“No,” June said, shaking her head. “She had a very specific reason for always lying about Andrew. You can’t equate the two things. Unless you’re suggesting that she had a really traumatic experience with Trudy that she’s trying to wallpaper over, then it’s not the same thing at all.”
Auggie snapped his fingers. “Maybe she was Trudy’s mom. Maybe that’s what she is trying to forget. She pinned the whole thing on Mumma so she wouldn’t have to deal with her own guilt at abandoning her own daughter.”
“You’re forgetting that Allison wasn’t able to have any kids after Andrew was born,” Jules said. “They gutted her—hollowed her out—remember?”
June smacked her brother’s shoulder.
“For that matter, we’re taking her word about that as well,” Auggie said.
“No, Auggie, he’s right. I’ve seen the scars and the pills that she takes,” June said.
Deidra nodded along.
“So, we have to admit, we don’t know if she’s telling the truth. All these years later, who cares? She’s opening up to tell us a story. Let’s just take it at face value. We can compare notes later and see if we believe her, but let’s not interrupt. I want to hear whatever it is she wants to say.”
“Agreed,” Jules said.
They all looked when Allison came back in.
# # # #
“Your children are adorable,” Allison said to Jules.
Jules pointed to Auggie.
“Sorry,” Allison said as she took her seat.
Auggie helped her arrange the blanket on her legs again.
“You and your brother look so much alike,” Allison said to Auggie.
“Hey, let’s not say anything we might regret,” Jules said.
Allison smiled.
“Trudy was raised by Sturtevants until she was fifteen?” June asked.
Allison’s face grew serious again before she returned to her story.
“Yes. As I was saying before, the Sturtevants kept tight ranks. We didn’t hear about Phillip Sturtevant’s passing until he was well in the ground. I think the only reason that they told anyone was that he had relatives who were entitled to some benefits due to his time in the service. Trudy didn’t get a dime of that money because I’m not sure that Phillip ever publicly acknowledged that she was his.”
Allison turned her eyes down to her hands. She cleared her throat before she could speak again.
“When she came here that first night, I thought that she was selling something. I suppose, in a way, she was. She asked for Mumma Claire and I was the one who had to tell her that Claire had passed years before. I brought her inside before she could start to cry and I sat her down on the sofa that used to be in the parlor. Oh! I suppose that it was right here. I think of this room differently now. It hardly seems like the same place. Trudy confessed that she didn’t have anywhere to stay and I understood immediately that she wanted to stay here.”
Jules began to shift in his chair. He kept his mouth shut, but Allison picked up the question that he hadn’t asked.
“I know—you want to ask me why I didn’t question Trudy about who she was. It would have been the perfect time for me to talk with her about her parents. You have to understand, I already had my own theories about Trudy at that point. Mumma Claire had passed and I knew by then that Phillip Sturtevant was gone. As far as I knew, the girl was an orphan and she was crying her eyes out. You kids were all asleep. What was I supposed to do? We didn’t have a real Mumma at that point. Vivian died before Mumma Claire. Sophia was completely checked out mentally. Uncle Tommy was the closest we had to anyone in charge and that’s only because he was the one paying the oil bill.”
“Tommy paid for the heat?” Deidra asked.
“Back then,” Allison said, “briefly. So, I took Trudy in, but it didn’t really feel like something that I was doing. I was only the person who opened the door. Really, it was the house that took her in. Mumma’s house knew that Trudy belonged here.”
June hugged herself and rubbed goosebumps from her arms.
“I tried to set h
er up in Aunt Vivian’s room that first night. She had one pair of shoes, her slippers, and that bag with some clothes. It was lucky that she and I were about the same size. When I went to check on her a few hours later, she was gone. I thought that she had changed her mind and then I realized that her shoes were still there, poking out from under the bed. She couldn’t have gone far—it was too cold out. I never figured out where she hid that first night.”
“Her nook,” Auggie said.
“Right. Trudy’s nook. You kids always had the most vivid imagination,” Allison said. Auggie didn’t try to argue. “I came into the kitchen the next day and Uncle Travis was grilling poor Trudy about who she was. I could tell that Trudy was about to start crying again, so I told him off and said that it was none of his damn business who she was. I said that she belonged in Mumma’s house and that was final. He mumbled a few unkind words about my parents and then the subject was settled. After that, I knew I had to wait for Trudy to open up to me. I couldn’t hound her for a family tree after I had made that speech.”
“I know where she came from,” Judy said. “I asked and she told me.”
“Here we go again,” Jules said.
“Can we please hear the rest of what Allison has to say before you start with that again?” Auggie asked.
Judy made a locking motion in front of her mouth and threw the imaginary key over her shoulder.
Allison smiled.
“I did form an opinion, over time,” Allison said. “Even though, as I said in the beginning, there may never be a definitive answer.”
They waited for a full minute. At first, it seemed like Allison was simply collecting her thoughts before she would share them. Eventually, as it looked like Allison’s eyes were drifting shut and her mug was tilting as her hands went limp, Auggie gently touched her arm.
“Aunt Allison?”
“Yes?” she asked, eyes shooting open. “Sorry. It was a long, difficult trip.”
“You were going to share the opinion that you formed about how Trudy was related to us?” Jules asked.
“Oh,” Allison said, like the idea was new to her. “I don’t think she was—related to you, I mean.”
“Who was she related to then?” Deidra asked.
“This place,” Allison said. “I think she went back to before Mumma and Poppa.”
“Before Mumma Peggy? This house was here before her?” Jules asked.
“Yes and no. Or, yes and yes, but not for the reason you think. I was saying before Mumma Peggy’s mother. My grandmother was the one who bought this place from the Sturtevants. I think Trudy goes back before her.”
“Wait,” Auggie said. His voice was too loud and he looked like he was about to jump out of his seat. “This place didn’t exist before your grandmother. She built it.”
“She built most of it,” Allison said. “And, certainly, she had to buy the land from someone. You don’t think that she built the land, do you?”
“I guess you need to go back to the real beginning,” Jules said. “You’re shaking the foundation of our understanding.”
“I always heard that Mumma Peggy and Poppa built this house together,” Deidra said.
Auggie nodded along.
Allison sighed. “I shouldn’t have gotten into all this. We should talk about this another time. I really am worn out from the trip. Which room am I staying in?”
“You’re upstairs, Aunt Allison,” June said. She jumped up and put out her hand for Allison to grab.
Allison put the mug in June’s hand and made her way to her feet on her own. While June put the mug in her kitchen area, Deidra helped Allison over to the stairs.
The three siblings watched as Deidra hovered behind Allison on the stairs. The older woman kept refusing help even though it was clear that she was struggling with the climb. When they were finally out of sight, June sat down in the spot that Allison had vacated.
“She’s fading fast,” Jules said.
“It was just a long trip. You know how it is driving alone,” June said.
“There’s something else,” Auggie said. “She’s worse than even when she had those troubles, ten years ago.”
June only shook her head, denying what her brothers were saying.
Chapter 7 : Isla, Millie, Penny, Gus, and Sam
“DADDY!” MILLIE SAID, RUNNING up to their father. He scooped her up into a hug while Isla held back.
When he set Millie down, he held out his arms towards her and said, “Izla? Hug for me?”
She shed her coat and came forward for a quick twirl in his arms.
“Hi, Dad. Did you miss us?”
“I barely had a chance,” he said. “You went outside to play for, what, fifteen minutes? I’ll put your stuff away. You guys can go find your cousins, okay? I think they’re up in Uncle Travis’s room.”
“I want to stay down here with you,” Millie said.
“Come on,” Isla said to her big sister. “We’ll come down for lunch.”
Millie seemed to accept the idea even though it came from Isla. They trooped upstairs and rounded the corner. Millie nearly ran into Penny’s mom.
“Hi, Millie and Isla, how are you?” Deidra asked, turning.
Isla ducked under as Deidra put out a hand to touch her head. Isla wanted to insinuate into whatever the cousins were working on while Deidra complimented Millie on her hair.
“What’s this?” Isla said, pointing to the construction paper.
“We’re making New Year’s hats,” Gus said. “I’m glad you came back.”
“We have enough people to play team tag now,” Sam said. He narrowed his eyes as he assessed the potential skill of the new arrivals. “I get Isla on my team.”
“I call Penny,” Gus said.
Isla smiled. Millie would get left out and then she would start crying.
“How do we play?” Isla asked.
“Wait, which one are you? Are you Isla or Millie?” Sam asked.
Isla said her own name as she began to realize what was about to happen.
“Oh. I pick Millie then,” Sam said.
Isla looked down as her anger simmered. She wouldn’t let it boil up. That always made things worse.
“You know what we ought to do,” Gus said. “We ought to find that doorway where all the heights are marked on the frame.”
Sam shrugged and grabbed another sheet of construction paper. He folded it in half and started to make an airplane.
“I want to go outside and throw airplanes, but it’s snowing too hard. They’ll get all wet,” Sam said.
Isla watched Cousin Penny looking back and forth as the boys talked. Something occurred to her as she saw the way Penny’s eyes went between them. Penny was three years older than Isla, and older than Millie, but she was also a youngest. She was the youngest in her house and that made her the same as Isla in a way. Even though she was right in the middle, based on her age, Penny was always following the others around, waiting to be picked for a team, and trying to not get left behind.
“Hey,” Isla said to Penny, “you want to go see where my mom found the nest of mice?”
Deidra was saying goodbye to Millie. As soon as Millie joined the group, they would probably want to go off and play their game. Isla didn’t have much time.
“Come on,” Isla said. Penny still seemed unsure, so Isla grabbed her hand and pulled. It only took a moment for Penny to relent. The two of them got up and started out of the room just as Millie came to see what the boys were doing.
“There is a place big enough to throw airplanes inside,” Gus said. “But it’s really cold.”
Isla led Penny out into the hall.
When they got close to the stairs, Penny finally pulled her hand away.
“You don’t want to see?” Isla asked.
“I’ve already seen it,” Penny said. “Besides, I have a better idea.”
# # # #
“We’re going to need coats, hats, and gloves,” Gus said.
“For insi
de?” Sam asked.
“In the barn, yeah,” Gus said. “Trust me, it’s stupid cold in there.”
“How cold could it be?” Sam asked. “We’ll be fine.”
Gus shook his head.
“I’m getting my coat,” Millie said. She headed for the door.
“Get mine too,” Sam said.
“Me too,” Gus said.
Millie grunted and let her shoulders slump.
While Sam collected up his airplanes, augmenting the underside folds, Gus walked to the window and looked out.
“It’s really snowing. I wonder if the others are going to be able to make it,” Gus said.
“Like who?”
“Uncle Tommy always comes. Sometimes Travis comes. This is his room but he never stays in here.”
“People always talk about Travis, but I’ve never seen him,” Sam said. He sighted down the length of his plane, envisioning how it would cut through the air.
“Are you sure? He’s really, really, old and he always sits at the far end of the table.”
“They send me away,” Sam said.
Gus pressed his forehead to the cold glass and blinked at the falling snow. It almost looked like there were tire tracks down there. The driveway used to go up the north side of the house, around to the side entrance of the barn. It had turned to grass over time. Jerry still mowed it. That was the only traffic it saw.
Millie’s feet stomped back up the stairs and Gus turned as she came through the door and dumped a ton of coats on the floor.
“I brought a bunch. I didn’t know which ones were yours.”
Sam laughed and dug out his coat.
Gus found his own in the pile. One of the gloves was missing from the pocket. When he went to put the other coats on the bed, he found his glove mixed up in the sleeves of a puffy jacket.