by Sarah Noffke
Liv sighed. “When you say, ‘not stolen merchandise,’ do you mean the opposite?”
“Yes, I mean bought items,” Cat stated.
Sophia shook her head at her sister. “I’ve found it better to just not ask questions. Pretend you have seen nothing.”
“Oh, the old, ‘don’t ask the question unless you’re prepared for the answer’ approach,” Liv grumbled. “Yes, I had a boyfriend who went by that mentality. Real stand-up guy. By that, I mean, he kept his head in the sand all the time.”
“Exactly,” Sophia explained. Liv knew the bakers because she knew everyone as a Warrior for the House of Fourteen, but she wasn’t quite as familiar with Lee and Cat. “Just pretend for the next few moments they aren’t giving you clues to all the illegal things they run.”
“Here I thought we’d never find common ground,” Lee said with affection. “Anyway, let me try some deadly jokes on you.”
“I don’t want to die,” Liv declared.
“No worries,” Cat said. “I think she’ll have a better chance of killing people with bad jokes than with laughter.”
“I think you need to get back to sorting through the stuff you pinched off the back of that truck, dear,” Lee told her wife over her shoulder.
Sophia put her fingers in her ears. “I’ll act like I didn’t hear that.”
“Hear what?” Liv asked, playing along.
“Okay, so here’s a joke,” Lee started, clearing her throat. “What’s the key to comedy?”
Sophia glanced at her sister, expecting her to answer. Liv just returned the expression.
“Hey, so what’s the key to comedy?” Lee repeated.
“What?” Sophia asked.
A beat later, Lee chirped, “Timing.”
Sophia’s eyes darted to the side. “Um, I think you missed the punch line there.”
Lee burst out laughing, slapping her leg. “That’s the point. Get it? Timing. And I missed the timing?”
“The joke needs work,” Liv said carefully. “Get it right, and it will kill.”
“Right now, it’s killing me,” Cat complained darkly, continuing to sort through packaged items and humming.
Sophia shook her head. “Although this is great fun, we were hoping you could help us. Have you seen Rudolf Sweetwater?”
“Rudolf?” Lee scratched her head.
Liv rolled her eyes. “Yeah, the braindead guy who is in charge of an entire race of people. Deadly attractive and also fatally annoying.”
Lee combed her fingers over her chin. “Not ringing a bell. Does he have a nose ring?”
Sophia’s nose flared with frustration. “The guy I sent you to the Great Library with.”
Lee continued to think. “Red hair and I wanted to murder him?”
“You’re thinking of me, darling,” Cat told her.
“Of course I am,” Lee said. “Oh, I remember now. The guy who is dumber than a sack of flour.”
“Yes!” Liv exclaimed like they were playing charades, and Lee had finally gotten the clue.
“Oh, him!” Lee sang. “Yeah, I expected him a bit ago and he never showed. He was supposed to bring me some illegal demon blood I was going to use in a cake.”
Sophia closed her eyes. “Please refrain from providing those details. When was that? Do you have any other information?”
Lee thought. “Honestly, I was drunk and I thought I heard some yelling out here. A voice that sounded like Rudolf, but when I checked, there were just signs of a struggle and no sign of the fae, so it was probably nothing.”
“Signs of a struggle?” Liv asked.
Lee waved her off. “Nothing of importance. It’s just that I found a chunk of blond hair in the alleyway. Probably just some cool date planned by a thoughtful lover.”
“This hair?” Liv asked. “You don’t by chance have it?”
Sophia shook her head. “Come on, like she’d keep that—”
“Of course I do,” Lee interrupted. “I was going to put it in a souffle.”
“Remind me never to eat here,” Liv muttered to her sister.
Sophia nodded as Lee pulled a clump of hair from her pocket.
“You kept it in your pants pocket?” Sophia wondered why she was surprised by this.
Lee blanched at her. “It’s good luck.”
Liv shook her head. “You have weird friends, Soph…”
“Well, your friend might have double-crossed me,” Sophia argued.
Her sister was already busy doing a spell on the short patch of blond hair. All the blood drained from Liv’s face when she faced Sophia. “Ru didn’t double-cross you, Soph. That’s his hair. I think he was abducted.”
Chapter Twenty-Six
The spell Liv had used didn’t tell them anything except that the clump of hair belonged to Rudolf. Lee had said there were signs of a struggle in the alleyway. They were jumping to conclusions, thinking he’d been abducted. Although Rudolf did many strange and unexplainable things, he would never, ever willingly lose his own hair. He prided himself on his shiny locks of blond.
Even more unlike the fae was to let his friends down. He was many things, but strangely enough, he was reliable. If he said he was bringing something to Lee, then he would do it. If he was supposed to deliver the dragon eggshells to Bep, then he would have done that, unless something was preventing him.
Sophia’s heart, which had been constricted with anger moments prior, was suddenly aching. She didn’t understand why someone would go after the fae, but the longer she thought about it, the more sense it made. He had his fair share of enemies, having been around for longer than most people she knew of. His flippant attitude and airheaded ways ensured that most went away from an interaction with him irritated and offended. Also, as the king of the fae, he was a powerful and rich man. So it went to reason there were a ton of giants, gnomes, magicians and elves who might want him for various reasons.
“I just hope he’s okay,” Sophia said to Liv as they exited the shop.
Liv took a tentative bite of a chocolate cake donut and paused as she chewed, as though waiting to see if she’d keel over dead from poison. “He’s Rudolf. He’s more resilient than a turritopsis nutriculas.”
“Oh, no,” Sophia groaned. “You’ve been poisoned and have lost the ability to talk.”
“Jellyfish,” Liv said, taking another bite. “That’s what the turritopsis nutriculas is, but more specifically it’s an immortal jellyfish. Once they reach adulthood, they revert their bodies back to that of their younger selves and do it all over again. Pretty impressive, although the little shits ruined my honeymoon last year.”
“I thought a bunch of deranged elves or pirates did that,” Sophia asked, wondering how their conversation had derailed and then reminded herself she was talking to Liv, and that was par for the course.
“The pirates made it more exciting,” Liv explained. “The jellyfish made it so I couldn’t escape the ship by diving into the water, which was annoying.”
“Most people don’t prefer such excitement on their honeymoon,” Sophia related.
“Most people are boring,” Liv retorted.
“I’m not arguing with that.” Sophia watched as her sister finished the donut. She must have given her a strange expression because Liv flashed her an embarrassed grin.
“No, I’m not really hungry, thinking about Rudolf being in danger,” she explained, wiping her hands on her pants. “I had to force that down. I wouldn’t have eaten this if I didn’t need to ensure my magical reserves were good for whatever was coming next.”
Sophia nodded, wishing she’d thought ahead the same way. Liv was practical, even in the face of emotions. She was good at compartmentalizing—something Sophia needed to learn.
“Yes, about what’s to come next,” Sophia said, chewing on her lip.
“We need information.” Liv watched as a shifty bunch of gnomes walked around them, giving the sisters a wide berth. “I’m going to go and see Mortimer at the Official Brownie Headqua
rters. His Brownies might have seen something. If not, it’s at least worth having him keep some eyes out. If Rudolf is in the presence of mortals, he’ll know about it.”
“You think that’s possible?” Sophia asked, not having considered mortals. “I mean, Rudolf is pretty powerful, and a mortal abducting him would be difficult.”
Liv shrugged. “Remember never to discount your potential suspects, especially at the beginning of an investigation. Rudolf is powerful but doesn’t demonstrate it often. He’s also trusting to a fault and prone to seeing the good in things that aren’t there.”
Sophia felt the pang of hurt again at the idea the optimistic fae had been abducted by someone. “Okay, and I’ll go and see Mae Ling at the Fairy Godmother College. She might have a lead for us.”
“We have the weirdest informants,” Liv related. “But I’m glad for them.”
“I agree,” Sophia said. “I’ll give you a call if I find out anything.”
“Same,” Liv stated, heading in the direction of the plain brick wall where the Official Headquarters for the Brownies was located. “And Soph…”
She paused to regard her sister, whose usual light expression had faded away. “Yeah?”
“Don’t worry,” Liv told her, hope in her voice. “Rudolf will be fine. For as many imbecile things as he’s said, he isn’t dumb, and he’s a totally unlikely hero. I’ve been in battle with him enough to know he always rises to the occasion, somehow, someway.”
Sophia smiled, having needed to hear that. “I know you’re right.” She stood there for a long moment, studying her sister, emotions brewing to the surface on her face. It appeared Liv’s rogue emotions might have escaped from their locked compartment, if for just for a moment. Rudolf was one of her best friends, despite the fact she pretended she couldn’t stand him. She was the godmother to his children. He had walked her down the aisle. No matter how stoic she pretended to be, Rudolf in danger had to be affecting the Warrior for the House of Fourteen.
“And Liv,” Sophia said after a moment.
“Yeah?”
“Also, you don’t worry,” Sophia stated. “We’re going to get Rudolf back. No matter what.”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Sophia took a bite of the macaroon that opened the portal to Happily Ever After College, grateful for the nourishment. She also looked forward to visiting the college, where the weather was always pleasant, and the grounds were safe.
She felt like she had jinxed herself with that thought after stepping through the portal. Something raced at her from across the grassy lawn of the college. Sophia didn’t have a chance to make out exactly what it was. She just saw horns barreling in her direction and threw up her defenses immediately.
Lifting her hand, she created an invisible dome shield around her. A large creature, the size of a horse, rammed into the shield before falling backward, shaking its head as it continued to stalk around her, obviously not deterred.
Being safe for the moment, Sophia took a moment to study the creature, which she’d never seen before. It was a magical creature, no doubt. The large animal was stalking back and forth, it’s head down, heavy breaths cycling through its nostrils and looked quite angry with her. Even still, it was beautiful, resembling a stag with its large rack of horns on its head.
However, very different than a stag, the creature had white and navy blue fur, but not in a design like Sophia had ever seen before. Instead, its long white hair was marked with spirals of blue, like it had been spray painted. Down its back was longer, spikey blue hair that ran all the way down its tail, which resembled a cat’s, long and curled at the tip. If it wasn’t for the hostile expression in its eyes, Sophia would have thought the animal was exquisitely breathtaking. As it were, the creature looked to be plotting ways to murder her.
“Calm down, Okapi,” Mae Ling said, hurrying over from the side, where Sophia hadn’t even realized she’d been stationed next to a group of students. “She means you no harm, nor us or the lands.”
Instantly, as if put under a spell, the creature shook its head and stepped away from Sophia’s shield, appearing suddenly pleasant.
“You’re safe,” Mae Ling stated, turning her attention to Sophia. “Impressive reflexes.”
Several yards away, the girls were starting to whisper, pointing in Sophia’s direction.
“Did you see that?” one of the students asked another.
“She’s a dragonrider,” another mentioned.
“She fights in battles,” a third commented.
All of them were regarding Sophia like she was the strange creature with antlers.
“What is that?” Sophia asked, daring to take her shield down as the magical animal began to graze on the soft green grass.
“That,” Mae Ling began, drawing out the word, “is the very rare and incredible dahalo. Bermuda Laurens has kindly loaned us some of her animals for teaching purposes.” She swept her hand at the grounds behind where the students were standing and Sophia noticed more magical creatures.
Although she wasn’t familiar with the dahalo, she did recognize the animals grazing behind the girls. Anyone would have recognized the three white unicorns busy trimming the grass and seemingly unaware of the crowd of magicians around them.
Beside them, also nestled in the grass, were little creatures that looked much like hedgehogs, but Sophia knew they were of the magical variety. The little spiked creatures popped and disappeared and reappeared in various places as though playing a strange game of hide and seek.
“What are those?” Sophia asked, striding over to where the brown hedgehog creatures were stationed in the grass. There were roughly half a dozen, although it was hard to count them since they kept disappearing.
“Those are sonics,” Mae Ling explained. “They are fiercely loyal creatures which are also full of good luck.”
She knelt and picked up one of the animals, offering it to Sophia to hold. They were pretty much the cutest things Sophia had ever seen, making her want to protect it with her life. She took it, cuddling the creature to her chest.
“That sense of protectiveness you’re feeling over the sonic is its defense mechanism,” Mae Ling explained. “Those who lay eyes on them find their cuteness to be so irresistible they will do anything to guard the animal against harm. For that reason, they usually bond to one person and are quite protective of them, offering their person unwavering loyalty and luck.”
“They are so very cute,” Sophia said as the small animal nuzzled against her.
“They are,” Mae Ling said matter-of-factly. “But you are already bonded to one magical creature who, by the way, I’d like to share with the class at some point. Would you be willing to bring your Lunis to the college the next time you visit?”
Sophia nodded. “Sure. I’m certain he will enjoy the attention.”
Mae Ling frowned slightly. “Yes, you don’t have a typical dragon, do you? Most wouldn’t appreciate the attention.”
“Lunis does,” Sophia stated. “He’s a diva like that.”
“Well, our purposes would be for studying the creature,” Mae Ling explained. “We learn about all magical animals here at fairy godmother college because they play a pivotal role in creating love and goodness in the world.”
Sophia couldn’t argue with that. “Yes, unicorns are supposed to promote peace and love, right?”
“That’s correct,” Mae Ling affirmed. “They also represent purity and healing. Although they are quite rare, much like the dahalo, this herd actually calls the grounds of Happily Ever After college home. They have been with us since the very beginning.”
“Wow,” Sophia whispered in awe as she watched the creatures with glistening white coats and long silky manes. The horns on the top of their heads appeared like porcelain, catching the sunlight streaming down.
“And the dahalo?” Sophia asked.
“Oh, they are very protective as well, like the sonics,” Mae Ling explained. “As you can see, the creatures are fiercely
territorial.”
“Yes, that one nearly bowled me over.” Sophia pointed to the majestic creature who seemed quite docile now as it grazed alongside the unicorns.
“You spooked it when you stepped through the portal,” Mae Ling imparted. “You handled the situation correctly, using a defensive measure rather than an attack which would have resulted in an injury to you, Okapi, or both of you.”
Sophia nodded, glad she hadn’t pulled her sword and made the situation worse.
“The dahalo bring fertility to the lands they graze upon,” Mae Ling informed her. “They also bring fertility to any in their presence. For that reason, they are revered for their abilities to promote new generations and bring children into the world.”
Sophia smiled, amazed that magical creatures could have such positive effects on the world at large. “I see why you study them, then.”
“Yes and speaking of which…” Mae Ling looked toward the sky. She turned her attention to the students who were quiet, listening to their exchange. “It’s time for lunch, ladies. You may take a break now and return after your refreshments.”
The women nodded, filing for the school building in the distance. When they had all left, Mae Ling gave Sophia a studious expression. “Now, you came here to ask me something.”
Sophia was so enthralled by learning about the magical creatures, she’s nearly forgotten the horrible reason that had brought her to Happily Ever After College. She swallowed, laying the sonic back down in the grass next to the others. It disappeared at once and then reappeared a few yards away.
“Yes, it’s about King Rudolf Sweetwater,” Sophia began, feeling guilty for having a good time when Rudolf was out there somewhere, maybe abused and imprisoned.
“I don’t know where he is,” Mae Ling said in a heavy voice.
Sophia deflated. “Oh, well, it was worth a shot, asking anyway.”
“I can tell you of someone who does,” Mae Ling continued.
“Really?” Sophia asked, hope blossoming in her chest.
She was certain that Mae Ling would mention Mortimer or Father Time or maybe even Mama Jamba. What she imparted though, was not what Sophia expected.