by J. L. Wilder
He was proud of her for pushing herself and for trying to connect with that side of her. He knew from personal experience that having your dragon have more control than you was scary. He was better with age, but his dragon was still touchier than his brothers’. He got angrier easier, and he stayed angry for longer.
The main thing making him angry those days was the ceremony prep. Standing in a room with his brothers and Maggie for hours at a time was too much. The uncles making them repeat the same lines over and over again to perfection was too much. Even being in the small meeting room was too much. The only relief, besides Maggie, was Milo.
He already loved Milo more than himself. He was almost sure it’d happened instantly. Milo was sweet and funny but also so playful and daring. He loved puffing smoke everywhere, and there was no doubt that he was obsessed with animals. He loved Maggie’s dogs and even crawled around, barking like them.
Maverick was grateful for the time he spent bonding with Milo during the meetings when it wasn’t his turn to recite the lines. He also loved seeing his brothers bond with Milo. Milo called them all Da-da, but he seemed to recognize that Maverick was a different kind of Da-da. It filled his heart to see their family together and bonding over Milo. Another generation was starting, another line of Walker men. Or, just man, as it was for the time being.
It was after one of the meetings when he was walking with Maggie and Milo to get ice cream that he noticed people were starting to react differently to Maggie. He didn’t hear as much whispering, and he had to wonder if the newness of her presence had worn off and people were going back to acting decently again, or if they were seeing more of her and realizing that she wasn’t what they thought she was.
Maggie had never been what people thought she was. She was just Maggie. He wished that being just Maggie came with the ability to love just him, but he knew that wasn’t the case for her. She’d loved each of them, and he wondered if she still did. He knew she cared about them. The way she looked at him, he knew she cared about him.
It was hard not to start imagining how things could be. They could grow together, have more babies, and he could watch her body grow and change like he hadn’t been able to with Milo. They could have everything. He knew that, in reality, his brothers were there, too. He didn’t know how the hell that fit in, though.
It was making him slightly crazy, thinking about it. He hadn’t missed that part of being with Maggie. The unknown, the questions, the fear. They never talked about it. They just went along, all bumbling through it, never really knowing what was going to happen. The first time had ended in disaster, so he was inclined to make a change, but he just didn’t know what to do. Where did he start?
They were all so busy those days. Between working and the ceremony practice and stealing away time with Maggie, his brothers had no time to talk. He was just ready for the ceremony to be over so they could have some time to figure out what they were going to do. After the ceremony, there would be alpha responsibilities, though. Taking care of the clan would be a full-time job, as well.
It all started to feel a little hopeless when he thought too much about it. So, instead, he just spent his time with Maggie and tried to ignore the sense of impending doom.
17.
***Maggie***
It was slightly embarrassing that she was learning how to be a dragon from lessons taught to a two-year-old, but they were helping. Maggie was learning how to listen to her dragon and how to accept her dragon more. She was still scared of her, but she felt like they were coming to an understanding with each other. She was even starting to have more control over her senses, just meaning that she could smell a whole lot more, mainly. Which, in a house with Jack, meant smelling a lot of disgusting farts from three rooms away.
It was exciting to start noticing changes like that, though. It made her feel like less of an outsider around town. She went out more and she just lived her life. She was looking into the reality of opening an office in Brady. She didn’t want to stop offering therapy. She even thought that maybe offering therapy to younger dragons who were struggling, like she had, might do a lot of good.
Somehow, people in the town started being nicer and things sort of fell into a super strange normal. She was still sleeping with three brothers, so normal didn’t mean a lot, but she wasn’t being pelted by tomatoes on the street, so that was nice.
Sasha had just gone through her first big treatment, and she was feeling under the weather. Maggie stayed at her side, taking care of her and the kids, anytime she didn’t have to be at the ceremony practice. Taking care of Sasha wasn’t easy, though. She pictured it to be like trying to pet a wild snake. A wild snake that you’d just stepped on.
Aubrey and Gabbi were hiding in their rooms, doing everything they could to avoid getting the sick Sasha mood swings, while Jack was just staying in bed with Sasha, oblivious to it all.
Bash and Bully had taken it upon themselves to act as Sasha’s guard dogs, so they were constantly underfoot. It seemed like no amount of being in touch with her dragon made a difference to them, either. They just didn’t care what she said. Milo didn’t either, for that matter. He seemed intent on filling the entire house with smoke and ripping every curtain down that he could find. Which Sasha loved.
“You and the kid and the dogs and my kids can all go now.” She looked on as Maggie pried her curtains out of Milo’s hands.
Maggie put Milo in the makeshift play area she’d created, using couch cushions to box him in, and sank onto the bed. “Then who would offer you such great care?”
“I’m pretty sure I could find any old Joe off the street and that would stress me out less.”
“I think you’re just trying to hurt me now.” Maggie looked at the clock and frowned. “I have to go soon. What can I do for you before I leave? You need something to snack on? A drink? I could make you one of those smoothies you like.”
“Ugh! I don’t want anything!”
Jack grunted. “You said you wanted a smoothie before Aunt Mags came in.”
“No good, dirty traitor.”
Jack shrugged and went back to his game.
“You little liar. Why won’t you let me help you?” Maggie adjusted Milo’s prison-play area and turned back to her sister. “That’s why I’m here. Let me help.”
“You could help me by not mothering me. I hate it. I’m fine. I don’t need to be taken care of.” It would’ve been more convincing if she hadn’t leaned over the bed and hurled into her bucket at that moment.
Maggie quietly took Jack from the room and handed Milo off to the girls. The dogs weren’t budging, but she could deal with them. She got a cold rag and handed it to Sasha before perching on the side of the bed. “You’re my sister and I love you, but you’re being terrible.”
Sasha laughed unexpectedly and laid back in her pillows. “Thank you?”
“You need to let me take care of you.”
“I don’t want to be taken care of.” She closed her eyes, but Maggie saw her bottom lip tremble. “I don’t want to be sick.”
Maggie moved around and crawled into the bed next to her sister so she could hold her hand. “You’re going to be okay, Sasha.”
“You don’t know that.” Sasha let Maggie pull her into a hug and hold her. “I don’t know what’s going to happen. Everything is changing. First the divorce and now this. At least I was okay with the divorce. It wasn’t that traumatic, but this...I don’t know how to be a mother if I can’t even guarantee that I’m going to be here for them.”
“Sasha, you were born to be a mother. You’ve been mothering me since I was born. This doesn’t change anything. You’re the strongest person I know and I know that you’re not going to give up and stop fighting. This is just a shitty moment. You’re sick, and you’re tired, and things have been weird for months. The divorce and cancer, and now you have two extra people and two dogs in your house. It’s a lot. You’re allowed to have this moment, to feel like crying. Maybe even actually cry.”
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Sasha shook her head and hugged Maggie tighter. “God. I’m terrified if I ever cry, I’ll never stop.”
“That’d be impressive.” Maggie gently stroked the hair off of her sister’s forehead and sighed. “I won’t let anything happen to you, Sasha. I’ll take care of things here while you heal. Just give yourself some grace.”
“I’m supposed to be the one taking care of you. You act like I’ve done so much for you, but I didn’t even come to see you in the city.”
Grinning, Maggie let out a fake evil laugh. “I see my plan to guilt you over that has finally worked.”
“Shut up. I’m serious.” Sasha sighed and looked up at the ceiling. “A part of me thought that if I came there, it’d be easier for you to stay.”
“You should’ve just gotten cancer earlier, honestly. That plan worked way better.”
She smacked Maggie’s arm. “If I can’t make cancer jokes, neither can you.”
“I know, I know. Terrible.” Maggie squeezed her hand three times, the classic I love you gesture, and sat up. “I know that this is all scary and awful, but it’s going to be okay. And we’re together again. I’m here with you and we’ve got each other’s backs.”
“Who are you and what have you done with my sister?” Sasha scooted higher in her pillows and turned to face Maggie. “That almost sounded positive. A positive about being here? In Brady?”
Smiling, Maggie pulled one of the extra pillows into her lap and hugged it tight. “I’ve been shifting.”
“On purpose this time?”
“Yes, on purpose. I’m getting better at it.”
Sasha grinned. “That’s amazing. That is almost enough to make me feel better.”
“I tried to fly. It didn’t end well.” When Sasha burst into laughter, Maggie laughed along. “I thought that would be the thing that actually made you feel better.”
“Tell me everything.”
“It’s embarrassing.”
“Then especially tell me everything.”
“I’ve been listening to Maverick give Milo little lessons and I’m using them myself. It’s weird. There’s this entirely other being inside of me that I’ve never really interacted with. When I was younger, she was too much, too strong, and I just shut her out. After the accident, I didn’t want anything to do with her. I guess I blamed her for all of the shit I pulled, too. It wasn’t me; it was my dragon.” Maggie rolled her eyes. “I’m just trying to spend some time with her. I shift and I just kind of...hang out. Is that stupid?”
Sasha shook her head. “No, of course not. It’s not embarrassing, either. Most people have a better experience coming into their dragon. Mom and Dad blamed all of your even slightly negative behavior on your dragon from the day you were born. They taught you right away that your dragon was bad. It’s completely expected that you had so much trouble connecting with her.”
“Why did they do that? They didn’t do it to you. They were great with you.”
Sasha sighed. “I don’t know. I’ve learned through dealing with my kids that each relationship with your children is unique. I don’t have the same relationship with the girls that I have with Jack and vise-versa. But that doesn’t excuse how they treated you.”
“Maybe they were just too old when I came along. That year difference between you and me might’ve been the limit. I was louder and more rambunctious. Maybe they just couldn’t handle it.”
“There will never be a good enough excuse. They messed up.” Sasha cupped Maggie’s cheek and smiled. “That doesn’t have to be your burden, though. I’m really proud of you for connecting with your dragon. It’s a beautiful thing.”
“Is she supposed to just know things? Because she doesn’t. She can’t fly.”
Laughing until tears leaked from the corners of her eyes, Sasha shook her head. “She’s not some completely separate entity, Maggie. She’s still you. If you don’t know how to do things, neither will she. Flying is a big thing, too. I don’t fly. Not many people do.”
“Well, I’m going to fly.” With a grunt, Maggie folded her arms over her chest. “And I’m not sure we’re the same. She feels like a completely different being. She’s sure got a mind of her own.”
“Is she leading you in a certain direction with your men?”
Maggie groaned. “No. She’s no help. She likes them all even more than I do. Stupid dragon.”
“She does?”
“Yes. Every time I shift, I have to work so hard to keep her from running off to find one of them. It’s not easy, especially considering I never really hate the idea myself.” Her cheeks reddened, but she was being honest with her sister. “She just wants to attack all of them. It sucks because I can feel her more now when I’m just...me, and she’s just always under the surface, panting like a dog in heat.”
Sasha looked down at Bash and Bully. “No offense, of course.”
“Offense. Offense to all animals, honestly.”
Laughing, Sasha rolled her eyes. “I think there’s something there.”
“What do you mean?”
“Can you pick one of your men? Is there one that you like more than the others, one that makes you feel more than the others?”
Maggie instantly shook her head. She felt terrible about it, but she couldn’t pick just one of them. She felt things for them all, liked them all. “What does that say about me? That I want them all?”
“That you’re a badass?”
“Or that I’m a greedy skank, as some other people in the clan seem to think.” She shuddered. “Only they don’t use the word skank. They prefer whore or slut.”
“I thought that was getting better.”
It was. Really. Few people were confrontational with her. The longer she spent in town, the more she interacted with people, the less people treated her like crap. She wasn’t sure it helped her feelings heal any, but at least they weren’t still harassing her. Mostly.
“Yeah, they are. I just...It’s hard to let it go. Especially when I worry that they might be right.”
“They’re not.” Fiercely loyal and protective of her sister, Sasha sat up and held Maggie’s face. “There’s nothing bad about you. You’re sleeping with three men you care about, that your dragon cares about. That’s not slutty, if I even believed in things being slutty. You’re perfect. Don’t forget it.”
Groaning as tears filled her eyes, Maggie eased Sasha back into her pillows. “Okay, that’s enough of that. You rest and stop saying sweet things.”
“You started it.”
“Better?”
Sasha smiled and nodded. “I will be. We will be.”
18.
***Sawyer***
“It’s like you three have never heard this before!” Uncle Jonah growled and stood up, his ceremonial robes loose at his sides. “It has to be perfect. It’s tradition. It’s your heritage!”
Maverick growled and threw his hands in the air. “We’re saying it right! You’re just not hearing it right, old man.”
Sawyer laughed before he caught himself. Quickly, he cleared his throat and looked away. He was so tired of being chastised by his uncles. It’d been too many hours of trying to get an ancient language perfect, with only their uncles’ direction as guidance. Apparently ancient tradition didn’t come with a manual, just oral instructions. Saul had a bit of a lisp, though, and Jonah was always shouting, so the inflections of the words got lost often.
“Maverick Walker! Watch yourself!” Uncle Saul had his robes undone, as well, but he was only wearing boxers under it, saying he was hot. “We’re not too old to kick your ass.”
Wyatt snorted, his annoyance at being stuck in practice nonstop getting the better of him. “Try not to break a hip.”
Milo chose that moment to go running out of the back, completely naked. Maggie came chasing after him, her face red. “Milo, get back here! We aren’t finished!”
“If the kid can be naked, then I can be naked, too!”
Uncle Saul threw his robe off and hooked
his thumbs into his boxers before Sawyer shouted, “Keep your damn clothes on! There’s women and children present and they don’t need to be subjected to that!”
Milo squealed and stopped next to one of the planted pots, peeing in it before Maggie could get to him. When he saw her standing there, covering her face with her hands, he just giggled and started running while still peeing.
Maverick hurried over and grabbed Milo, getting a stream of pee on him, too. He groaned and held Milo out in front of him. “That was rude, little man.”
“Firestarter, you are in big trouble.” Maggie took Milo and marched towards the back again. “I’ll be back to clean that up. I’m so sorry.”
Uncle Saul left his boxers in place. “Not sure how I’m supposed to compete with that.”
“Pee is not a part of the ceremony!” Uncle Jonah sank into his chair and cradled his head in his hands like they were wearing on his nerves. “This is a mess.”
Wyatt growled and raked his fingers through his hair. “This has to be over soon. We have responsibilities other than this.”
Maverick was stripping out of his shirt and looking grossed out. “I have pee on me. I have to go.”
Uncle Jonah growled loudly at all of them and stood up straight, his old body emitting power as his anger was freed. “This ceremony is important to us, and it’s important to the clan. We’ve done this for centuries to give respect to where we come from and to commit ourselves to our clans. It matters! Not only that, it matters to me.
“This would’ve been a ceremony for my son if he’d lived. I have the utmost faith in you boys and I am happy with you three becoming alphas, but you should remember that I once thought I’d be doing this ceremony with my own child. It matters.”
Sawyer’s bad mood instantly vanished and instead, all he felt was guilt for not appreciating what it would be like for his uncle. “Sorry, Uncle Jonah. I wasn’t thinking clearly. You’re right. Maybe we can call it good for today and meet with a fresh start tomorrow?”
Wyatt nodded. “A fresh start and a little more understanding.”