by Tania Joyce
“Nothing.” She squirmed uncomfortably in her seat.
“Jess?”
He wasn’t going to let up. “Not that it’s any of your business, but I just found out I’m pregnant. I told Nate. Of course, he doesn’t want a bar of it. He’s returning to London on Thursday. That’s it.”
“He’s going to leave? What are you going to do?”
“I just don’t know yet whether I’m going to keep the baby or have an abortion.” This time it was her choice to make, not her strict Catholic parents giving her no rights.
“Are you serious?” Troy gasped. “I’d do anything to have a family.”
Jessica stared at her hands as she twisted them in her lap. “I could have two children with three different fathers. Does that make sense?” She shook her head and tried to laugh. It was the best she could do. The only other option was to cry.
“Lots of families have kids with different fathers these days. It’s becoming the norm.”
“I’m far from normal though, aren’t I?” Jessica shook her head bleakly.
“Well, I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be here for you as a friend or in whatever capacity you want me. You know I love you.”
The waitress defused the moment when she placed their orders in front of them. Jessica dipped her spoon into the bowl of hot soup and took a bite of the freshly baked crusty bread roll. She didn’t know how to handle Troy’s confession of being in love with her when her heart lay elsewhere. Hadn’t she hurt him enough already?
“I fly out to New Zealand on Thursday,” Troy went on. “You could do with a break. I’ll be true to my word—come with me as a friend for a holiday.”
A vision of what could be flashed before her. A happy home life raising a child together. Sitting together on rocking chairs on their veranda looking out over the countryside. All peace and serenity. She wanted to scream as she thought about it. It was like something out of her nightmares.
“I can’t, Troy. I just can’t.”
* * *
Nate’s concentration had evaded him ever since Jessica left an hour ago. Anger had the better of him at the time, but at least she knew how he felt about the baby and what she needed to do. Jessica knew he loved her, but the end had finally come. His shoulders slumped toward the ground and every footstep took too much effort. Why did an end to a relationship have to hurt so much? He unconsciously wandered over to the kitchen and made himself a pot of tea. He sculled the hot liquid down and placed the cup on the bench before him. His heart jolted as he looked at the dregs laid out in the perfect shape of an anchor, signifying the end to a personal affair. Ha! Even the damn tea leaves knew.
He wished at that moment that his superstitions could have given him warning about her falling pregnant. But no. There’d been no two teaspoons on saucers. Jessica hadn’t poured tea from the same pot as another woman. There’d been no shapes of eggs in his drink remains. Or had he missed them? Somewhere? Surely not. Why did he get hints about everything else, but this news managed to evade his cup? He sniffled loudly and blinked his eyes to ward off the tears that he felt forming. There was to be no baby. No more Jessica. Back to work. Sydney was done.
* * *
On the terrace at her house later that evening, Jessica watched with envy as Alex drank down a cool bourbon and coke while she could only indulge in soda water and lime. She managed to keep her voice from failing as she told Alex about her confrontation with Nate.
“I already hate being pregnant and not being able to drink,” Jessica grumbled as she ran the tip of her finger around the rim of the glass.
“Dylan and I would love to have a kid. We’ll be the daddies!” Alex raised his glass to her, unable to hide his excitement over her pregnancy.
“Troy wants me to have it. You want me to have it. Everyone except the one person I need to want it. How am I going to make this decision, Alex? What if I do have this baby? How will we cope at work?”
Alex took a deep breath as he leaned across the table and covered her hand with his.
“Sweetie, we’ve been through thick and thin together. We’ll get through this. Every curveball life has thrown at us we’ve survived and come out on top. I know you have a tough choice to make. Take the next few days off and enjoy LA … and bring back that award.”
“I’ll do my best.”
“We’ll talk about everything on Tuesday.” She saw Alex hesitate. She knew him too well—something was on his mind.
“What is it that you’re so eager to discuss? Don’t hold out on me. Out with it.”
Alex rolled his eyes and smiled. “You’re too perceptive. EyeOn rang. They’re super keen to talk to us again. After the success of the launch, we could raise our price tag. A lot.”
“You want to sell Kick just to make more money?” She felt as if a knife was driving into her heart. “We won’t exist if we’re bought out. Staff will lose their jobs and you and I will have to start all over again. I’m not prepared to do that at this stage of my life, Alex. Pregnant or not! Do you really want out?” She thought she knew her partner, but had he really had enough?
“Oh lord, no. With you being pregnant, I thought you might want to consider their offer.”
“Never.” Jessica shook her head.
“You know I want bigger. I want more. I see dollar signs flashing before my eyes,” Alex beamed.
“We’ll make it happen ourselves. Like we always have. This opening has put us on the international stage. Let’s enjoy the ride and see where it takes us.” She reached out and touched Alex’s hand to reassure him she was totally committed.
“You just want to tell Meredith to fuck off.” He winked at her.
“You know me so well.” She smiled cheekily at him. “Can I be the one to make the phone call?”
Alex laughed hard and nodded in agreement. “And what are you doing about Nate?”
“Nate who?”
“Come on, baby girl.”
“What else can I do? He wants me to get rid of the baby. If I keep it, he wants no part of it.” She shrugged, but the truth hurt her deep inside. “He’s leaving on Thursday for London. I knew this was only temporary, so I’m not going to be delusional about it.”
“You’re crazy in love with him, aren’t you?”
“It doesn’t matter, Alex. It’s over.”
Chapter 20
The Sydney International Terminal was busy with passengers making their way through customs and buying duty-free goods. Nate noticed many faces looked daunted with pre-flight jitters as he made his way, trundling his cabin bag at his heels, towards the first-class lounge. He didn’t share the travelers’ concerns because he had flown so often and so many times around the world that an airplane cabin felt like his home away from home.
“Excuse me, Nate Somers?”
Nate halted, unable to recall ever meeting the man standing in front of him who blocked his path. “Yes?”
“I’m Troy Smith. Jessica Mason’s friend.”
He sucked in a sharp breath. “Conner’s father, right?” Yes, after meeting Conner at Jessica’s, he could see the resemblance.
“Um, Yes.” Troy looked surprised that he made the connection. “It’s about Jess and the baby.”
“I beg your pardon?” How did he know she was pregnant? She’d told him already?
“How can you leave her knowing she’s pregnant with your child?”
“That’s none of your business.” His jaw clenched as he glared at Troy.
“I care for her a lot. If I know Jessica, she won’t abort. That would make it an easy option for you, wouldn’t it? How can you leave your own flesh and blood? I never would’ve left her all those years ago if I’d known she was pregnant with our son. I missed out on twenty years of Conner’s life because of that. Don’t do the same thing to her. Don’t abandon her like this. I’ll be there for her, but it’s not the same. She doesn’t love me like she loves you.”
Troy’s words speared Nate right into the center of his heart. It to
ok every ounce of his strength to stand strong. Inhaling deeply he dropped his eyes to the floor and barely managed to nod. “Jessica knows where I stand. We’ve discussed the matter. Thank you for your concern. Have a good flight, Mr Smith.” He turned away and headed off in the direction of the airline lounge.
* * *
Nate dropped down into one of the leather couches in the Qantas Club and ran his hands across his face. Sleep had escaped him for days as Jessica filled every one of his waking thoughts. The way she looked at him when he walked in the room. The way she smelled after making love. How he missed the sound of her voice that entranced him during their in-depth conversations. He’d never believed in soul mates and called anyone a fool if they tried to convince him otherwise. Now he had to eat his words because he’d felt connected to Jessica in every way possible.
But she’s pregnant! Something he never wanted to face again.
His phone chimed in his jacket pocket; he took it out and read the screen. He opened an email from Brooke. It was an article from the Sydney Morning Herald, front page news. There was another rave review, but it was the photo that caught his attention. It was of him standing with his arm wrapped around Jessica at the gala dinner. Her eyes sparkled in the flash of the camera, just like the diamonds that hung around her neck. The ones he gave her to wear with her dress. The ones he’d given her so she’d remember him. He stared at the image for ages, then funnily, he noted her arm resting casually across her belly.
His baby was in there.
But there was just no way he could face another situation like Rachael.
He opened the photo gallery on his phone and scrolled through the few holiday snaps he had taken at Disneyland in Paris. The smile that lit up Lucy’s eyes as Mickey Mouse cuddled her touched his heart. He loved his daughter and wished he could spend more time with her, but thanks to Rachael that was never going to be possible.
His own relationship with his father brought a bad taste to his mouth. For so many years Nate had drowned himself in his work to make his father proud and prove his ability to run the business. For all his achievements, he’d never received any recognition, reward or respect from the man who stood at the helm of the Somers Hotel enterprise. The only form of fatherly love he ever got was the occasional handshake if the two crossed each other’s paths somewhere in the world.
Nate gritted his teeth. He’d sworn a long time ago to himself that he never wanted to be like his father. Not to his daughter, not to anyone. Yet here he was, heading down that exact pathway.
Well, that had to change.
So what was he doing sitting here? He’d finally found a woman who loved him and inspired him every day. And he loved her. But there was just no way …
He didn’t want to make the same mistakes he’d already made in his life again. His gut clenched as if he’d been kneed when he thought about how Jessica must have felt when he said he wanted to leave and have nothing to do with the baby. Letting her walk away had been the hardest thing he’d ever had to do.
He exhaled deeply as he wiped his tired, stinging eyes. All he had managed to achieve was hurting her beyond repair. That was the one thing he’d wanted to avoid and he’d failed dismally.
Was it too late to make amends? What could he do?
Somehow he had to make it right. How?
He closed his eyes. His chest ached too much these days; even breathing seemed difficult without Jessica. Then, out of nowhere, it struck him. A plan appeared clearly in his mind.
It would work … Yes … It had to work.
It was a thin thread of hope and had a small chance of success, but definitely worth the risk to find out. Why hadn’t this come to him before? Regardless of the travel, his work or their crazy, mixed-up, busy lives—Nate wanted to be with Jessica. He had to get her back at all costs.
Nate glanced down at his watch. Jessica would be in Los Angeles by now. He stood up, straightened his jacket and walked over to the enquiry desk. He smiled his best charming smile at the girl sitting at the computer. “Excuse me. Something urgent has come up. I need to change my flight.”
* * *
The bathroom was clouded with mist and steam fogged up the full-length mirror. Heat enveloped Jessica and soothed every aching muscle in her body as she slipped deeper into the bubble bath. The flight had been long, jet lag had kicked in, and exhaustion from the past few weeks had caught up with her. A little soak in the hot tub before tonight’s awards seemed like a great plan.
Even after two headache tablets, nothing relieved the tension that seemed to have taken up permanent residence in the center of her forehead. With her head tilted back resting on a folded towel and her body submerged in scented bubbles and hot water, Jessica started to drift off and relax for the first time in what seemed like months.
Why did the bath gel have to be scented with citrus? It reminded her of Nate.
But he was gone. It was time to get on with her life. She stretched her neck from side to side. The launch had moved Kick onto the world stage, surely new clients would come on board. More than anything Jessica wanted to start expanding globally. Could she and Alex pull it off? Her head rattled with ideas, plans started to take form. Where else could they open an office? Logically, Singapore and New Zealand seemed like the best options. They were close to home and they already had clients in those locations in their portfolio.
Yet again the buzz of business opportunities excited her. She’d love to spend a few months overseas setting up an office. The thought was exhilarating—new culture … lifestyle … sightseeing …
But what about the baby?
She let out a deep sigh. With a gentle hand, she rubbed her tummy and squeezed her eyes shut. Silence and calm filled her head. Peace. Quiet. So rare. Her body felt radiant. She smiled remembering how Conner had brought so much happiness and fulfillment into her life. With her biological clock ticking, an opportunity like this might never present itself again. This time she knew what to expect. She was prepared. More mature. More determined and ready for this change in her life.
With or without Nate … yes, without Nate … Jessica decided she was going to have this baby.
* * *
Dressed in a long dark-red evening gown, Jessica applied a coat of oriental red lipstick to her lips and assessed her appearance in the mirror. She adjusted the cowl neckline of her dress so it hung correctly at the peaks of her shoulders. Her fingers felt along the strand of diamonds that hung around her neck. Her Cartier necklace, yet another reminder of Nate. She shook her head. She should have ducked out to the shops this afternoon and brought some different jewelry to wear, but the past two days in Los Angeles had been busy with preparations and rehearsals for tonight.
Her hand slid down, smoothing her dress, and rested on her tummy. Thank God I’m not showing yet, otherwise I’d never get into this dress. After slipping on her towering gold strappy stilettos, she grabbed her evening bag and headed for the door.
She caught the elevator down to the ballroom of the Beverly Hilton, closing her eyes in a silent prayer. I need a pick-me-up. A win would be ideal! She stepped out of the open doors into a sea of people mingling in the large reception area. Tuxedos and evening gowns swirled around her in all directions. Music chimed softly above the muffled sounds of conversation.
In the center of the floor she was confronted with a towering ice sculpture of what she assumed were meant to be two angels. Beyond it lay the extravagant bar. As Jessica meandered among the guests, waiters dressed in stiff black attire moved through the crowd, carrying trays of drinks and hors d’oeuvres. She desperately wanted to reach for the champagne but opted for iced water instead, and started making polite conversation with a group from Saatchi and Saatchi. It would be nice one day to be as big and as global as her competitors. One day. But that was a long way off. She was distracted when her phone buzzed loudly from within her clutch. She excused herself from the group, put down her drink on a nearby table, clipped open the latch on her bag and read the s
creen on her phone. The message was from Nate.
How’s the IAAS?
Jessica’s heart faltered in her chest. Why was he texting her? What happened to a clean break? No contact should pass between them if she was to get over him. And why were the IAAs the first thing he asked about? She fumbled with the phone as she contemplated what to do. Should she reply? Before she had time to do anything, it beeped again.
Sorry haven’t called. Long haul flight. Phone doesn’t work at 40,000ft.
So that’s his excuse? Pathetic! She pulled herself up short. Maybe he was trying to take the high road and be pleasant by putting their rough ending aside. Men! They could forget things in an instant. Maybe she should do the same.
She hit reply.
You should see the hideous ice sculpture here. Too 80s! Never see one of these at my functions.
She bit her lip, trying not to giggle as she pressed send. His reply came quickly.
I don’t know. I kind of like it.
She was confused, but before Jessica could think straight, another message appeared.
What will you bid on at the silent auction?
How did Nate know there was a silent auction? Maybe he saw the details on the web or something. She was a little baffled by all these messages but played along with the game. She typed her message.
Maybe Tahiti beachside resort. I need a vacation.
Nate replied:
Who’s the blond? He’s trying very hard to get your attention.
What the …? Jessica hit her call button. “Where are you? Are you here?” Anger, hurt and fear made her voice sound shrill in her own ears. What was he doing? Did he want to make sure that there was absolutely nothing left of her heart? He was supposed to be on his way to London.
“Find me.” Nate hung up.
Her eyes swept over the crowd. She picked up her dress to keep her hem out from under her high heels, as she darted around guests, bar tables and waitstaff. All the men in dinner suits looked the same, until she caught sight of one who stood out like the shining moon against the dark of night. He was like a homing beacon.