Say You're Mine

by Alexis Winter

  This might be the first time since I started visiting Aiden that I brought Mom up first. Maybe this time our conversation about her can be more than a few sentences. Maybe me bringing her up will make him feel more comfortable to ask about her. And not just if she’s OK. To really ask about her.

  I know she misses him, and it kills her that she can’t come to see him. She might hate the way his life has gone, and I know she feels responsible for it. She tried to bring him with her when we moved to Naperville. But he was an arrogant teenager and he was determined to stay with his dad.

  And now, two decades later, here we are.

  “That’s good. I want to hear more about this girl of yours. Tell me about her.”

  What do I tell him? I can’t tell him about her job. Amanda took the news of Aiden wonderfully, but I don’t think Aiden would do the same.

  “She’s… she’s great. Smart. Beautiful. Tough. Funny. She’s… she’s everything. I plan on keeping her around for as long as she’ll let me.”

  “That’s good little brother. I’m glad for you. You bang her yet?”

  I shake my head, figuring that question was coming. “That’s where I cut off the details, and don’t worry, I doubt you’ll forget how that works. Now, you’re not getting out of this conversation this time. Why don’t you ever want to know more about Mom? Don’t you miss her? She sure as hell misses you.”

  Aiden rolls his eyes and tries to find anything else in the room to look at other than me. I don’t know what’s in me today that I want to pick this fight with him, but I want to. I’m tired of seeing my mom’s sad expression every time she knows that I’ve visited Aiden and that it’s been more than six years since she laid eyes on her first born.

  “I don’t want her to see me in here.”

  “Well, she does. She’s your mother.”

  “You don’t think I know that? The only reason I let you in here is because you wouldn’t shut the fuck up about it.”

  “And I’m ready to do the same for Mom. What if something happens to you in here? Or what if something happens to her? We don’t know how long any of us have on this earth. You are going to be here for another 14 years, which I don’t need to remind you is because you didn’t even try to make a plea deal, so are you going to go all that time without seeing the woman who gave birth to you?”

  I didn’t intend on coming here today dredging up every sore spot with Aiden, but since I’m on a roll, I might as well keep it going. I always wondered when I first started visiting him why he got the same sentence as his dad, knowing after reading reports and articles about his case that he wasn’t nearly as involved. Apparently, no one would admit their full part in the crime, nor who they were working for, so everyone got the same sentence.

  Twenty years for money laundering and racketeering. Twenty years that could have been 10, maybe even less, had he tried to make a deal.

  “Don’t start that shit with me again about making a deal. It’s old news. Nothing can be done now so quit bringing that shit up. As for mom, if I tell you that I’ll think about it, will you give it a fucking rest? For fuck sake. You’re a dog with a damn bone.”

  I laugh, knowing at this point I need to pick my battles. He’s right, what he didn’t do in the past can’t be changed. But seeing Mom? Actually allowing her to come to see him? That can be.

  “She’d really love it Aiden. Just think about it. Hell, maybe just send her a letter. Just… anything.”

  He nods, readjusting himself in the uncomfortable metal chair. “Like I said. I’ll think about it.”

  I smile, knowing that this might have been a small battle, but I won it. “Just admit. You can’t say no to me.”

  He shakes his head, a laugh escaping the scowl he’s trying to keep on his face. “I remember when you were born. I was pretty pumped to have a little brother. I’m now wondering what I was thinking.”

  “You love me. Don’t lie to yourself.”

  “What’d I’d love is if you tell me more about this girl of yours. Come on little brother. Just one detail.”

  I smile and lean in as close as I can without setting the guard on alert.

  “The reason I was smiling when you walked in? The last text I got from her was a nude photo with the promise of a blow job later. And my girl is not shy in front of a camera.”

  His eyes go wide and I sit back with a shit-eating grin on my face.

  “That’s it. I don’t love you. I fucking hate you.”

  Chapter 24

  Amanda

  Every relationship has tests. Ones that you know are going to come. Ones that hit you out of nowhere. Ones that even if you know they are coming, you have no idea how you’ll react until faced with the situation.

  Tonight is going to fall into the third category. When Ben and I started seeing each other, my caseload had been pretty light in comparison to what it normally is. But after what Mr. Abruzzi said to me last week, and some other things we had been hearing, it was time for us to get eyes on the situation.

  So tomorrow I was going dark for awhile. It wasn’t fully undercover, but Christopher and I were going to do what we needed to do to figure out what the hell was going on in my old neighborhood. I didn’t know how long it was going to last. I didn’t know how long I would tell Ben that I would be gone.

  Situations like this were a big reason why I didn’t get into relationships. How many guys were going to be cool with, “I can’t talk to you for a while because I’m trying to not get shot. I’m not sure how long it will last. I’ll see you when I see you.”

  Ben doesn’t know why I asked him to come over tonight, just that I needed to tell him something and wanted to stay in tonight. He didn’t flinch and even said he’d bring dinner.

  He’s going to understand. Ben is literally the most compassionate man I’ve ever met in my life. I don’t have a doubt he’s going to tell me to be careful, catch some bad guys and come back to him in one piece.

  That is how Ben is going to react. It’s me who doesn’t know how I’ll react when I give him the news.

  In just a few short months, this man has become everything to me. When I’ve gone out on stakeouts or stings before, I’ve never worried about putting myself in a life or death situation. Don’t get me wrong, I was always safe and never took an unnecessary danger, but I knew what I was getting into. Sure, I’d always wonder what it would be like for my dad if he got the phone call telling him I got shot… or worse.

  But the thought of Ben getting that phone call makes me physically ill. Except he wouldn’t. The police or hospital would notify my dad as family, but Ben wouldn’t get that call because boyfriends don’t get that courtesy. How would he find out? Would my dad let him know? Kalum and Tori?

  The intercom buzzes, snapping me out of my thoughts. I don’t even ask who it is, letting Ben upstairs. I’m able to pull back my tears before he gets to my door and when I open it, I see the smile I love so much. His dimple is showing and his hazel eyes are looking at me like I’m the best thing he’s seen today.

  The feeling is mutual Ben. The feeling is mutual.

  “I didn’t know what you wanted to talk about, so I debated on what food to bring,” he says, sliding in my apartment, placing a kiss on my cheek as he comes through the door. “I went with Chinese because there’s never a situation that Chinese food isn’t a good answer.”

  He begins placing the food on my coffee table and I take a seat next to him, but I don’t make a move for the food. While I appreciate his gesture, my stomach is a bundle of nerves right now.

  “Can we talk first?” I ask tentatively, knowing I need to start this conversation, though I don’t want to.

  Ben turns to me, noticing the worry I’m sure is written all over my face. “Sure. Is everything OK?”

  “Yeah. I just… remember when we first started all of this… that I told you my job was unpredictable?”

  “I do. Believe it or not, I listen to everything you say. Do you have to work on some midnight shif
ts? Are you trying to tell me I’m not getting laid this week?”

  I appreciate his attempt to lighten the mood, but when the smile doesn’t come on my face, he figures out that this is bigger than some sexless nights.

  “It’s more than a few overnights. There’s a case… well… it’s getting deep. We really don’t know what we’re dealing with yet, and we need to figure it out and quick. So… I have to go dark for awhile. I need to track these guys, see what’s going on. Christopher will be with me. But I don’t know how long it will go… and during… I can’t have contact with the outside world. We need to keep a low profile and work quickly… which means… it’s easier if we cut off everything.”

  The words hang in the air. I wish I knew what he was thinking. Was he rethinking our relationship? Was he realizing that this shit can get scary and that I’m not worth it?

  “Is that it?”

  “I mean… yeah. I’ll be gone for maybe a few days, but it could be a few weeks. And when I say go dark, I mean go dark. I won’t have my cell phone. No one besides my captain will have contact with me. If something happens… which I don’t expect it to but you never know… you won’t know right away. I just, I hate that I’m leaving you and I hate that I can’t--”

  My words are silenced with a kiss. His lips are hard and demanding, and I realize how much I am going to miss them.

  He breaks the connection, leaving me a bit breathless. “I know your job can be dangerous. I knew this from the beginning. I know the work you do is important. Will I miss you? Absolutely. Will I worry about you? Every minute until you’re back. Am I going to give you something to remember me until you come back? Abso-fucking-lutely.”

  Chapter 25

  Ben

  “This isn’t what I had in mind.”

  “I told you that I’d give you a night to remember. Are you telling me that you won’t remember this?”

  I don’t know if Amanda’s eyes could roll any farther into the back of her head, which of course triggers a full-on belly laugh from me. Which then earned me a fortune cookie to the head.

  I don’t know what she’s annoyed by? I told her I’d give her a night to remember us by when she was feeling lonely during this assignment that was going to take her away fro God knows how long.

  I don’t know what could be more memorable than strip puzzle making.

  “This is absolutely ridiculous. Putting puzzles together isn’t a contest.”

  “Well, now it is. A contest to see who can get naked first. So what’s your next piece, my dear?”

  “I thought it was supposed to be who could stay clothed the longest?”

  “I made up the game. Those are the rules. Fastest one to be naked wins. Now... your turn.”

  She gives me another eye roll, this time not so far back that I’m scared her eyes will get stuck, followed by a quiet laugh as she examines what piece she wants to try to put down next. She’s already lost her socks and top, leaving her in just her bra, jeans, and whatever is waiting for me underneath.

  She grabs a piece, examining it before putting it on the board. It fits. Damnit.

  “Ha! Got it! You’re up buddy. And I’m eyeing that shirt of yours.”

  I smile as I start looking for a piece, though to be honest, I’m not trying too hard. This might have been my idea, one that I randomly thought of when imagining how many other ways Amanda and I could have sex, but I’d be lying if I didn’t want to hurry it along. Though I don’t want this night to end.

  I know that she’s not leaving me forever. But the thought of her being out on the streets, trying to uncover what I’m sure are shady and dangerous dealings -- so dangerous she feels she has to go dark for an unknown amount of time -- scares the absolute fuck out of me.

  But I knew this could happen when we got together. This is what I signed up for. And now I truly understand what Amanda was talking about when she was telling me what a relationship with her would be like.

  But despite all of that, I’m in this. I’m here. Because the thought of her not being in my life makes my chest hurt in a way it never has before.

  I don’t even look at what piece I grab and I place it around the others that are on the board. And wouldn’t you know it… the stupid fucking piece actually fits.

  “Sucks to suck,” Amanda says, seductively reaching over my lap to get another piece of the puzzle. I might have strategically put the pieces next to me... And far away from her… for this exact reason. “I really did want you to take your shirt off.”

  I grab her waist, holding her so she’s now laying across my lap. “You know that can be arranged.”

  She reaches for a piece, wiggles out of my grasp, and places a kiss on my cheek before whispering in my ear. “But you made the rules. And I know how much you hate rule-breakers.”

  I watch her try and put her piece down, but I see a glint of mischief in her eyes as she turns and kneels in front of me.

  “Oh no. My piece doesn’t fit anywhere. Guess I have to take another piece of clothing off...”

  Her voice is filled with desire… and lust… and fuck if I’m going to be able to keep this going anymore. Not when this beautiful, magnificent woman is kneeling before me, begging me with her eyes to give us the release we both want.

  “Pants.” My voice is demanding, which judging by the way her pupils are dilated, is turning her on just as much as me.

  Amanda stands up, slowly unbuttoning the top of her jeans. She turns around so I can see the most perfect ass I’ve ever laid eyes on as she bends over slightly… her jeans falling down her legs, leaving me staring at a scrap of lace fabric that is supposed to pass as panties. Still facing away from me, she releases the clasp of her bra, letting it fall away as she turns around, giving me a view of the tits that I’m desperate to get my mouth on. Finally, she rids herself of her thong… letting me look at this vision of a woman, completely naked.

  All for me.

  Her striptease was slow and erotic, allowing me to take mental pictures with each of her movements. I know I told her that I’d give her a night to remember, but it’s her giving that gift to me. Hell, I’ll be on my deathbed and I’ll remember what she looks like in this exact moment.

  Uninhibited. Sexual. Free.

  Mine.

  Before I know it, I’m releasing the button and zipper of my pants, freeing my aching cock. I begin stroking myself, because how can I not when Amanda is looking at me like that.

  “Mind if I have a taste?” she asks seductively, lowering herself to her knees in front of me.

  I sit up, lowering my hand to take a swipe at her wet and ready center. “I was going to ask you the same thing.”

  She leans down, slowly licking me from base to tip. “Can’t we do both?”

  Please God keep this woman safe. Because I will never have my fill of her.

  In a tangled mess of tongues and legs and arms and lips and hands, we find our way to the floor, taking down the puzzle and the coffee table in our haste. She positions herself on top of me, our chests touching, her wet pussy in my face as she begins working my hard length in and out of her mouth.

  She feels so fucking good… so good I almost forget to get a taste of the pussy that I’m addicted to. I lick and suck her center, pulling every drop from her, as she continues bobbing up and down on my shaft, the suction she’s creating nearly making me come right there.

  When she releases me from her mouth, I take the opening to lift her off of me, repositioning her.

  “Amanda... I need you.”

  No truer words had ever been said. She lowers herself down on me, stretching her opening around my cock as I begin thrusting hard and fast, knowing I’m not going to last long.

  “Are you ready beautiful? Come on my cock.”

  “Ben!”

  And just like that, we fall over the peak together, the buzz of our orgasms going through every part of our bodies.

  She collapses on top of me, but I don’t pull out of her. I’m not ready to leave
her. I’m not ready for her to leave me.

  “I’m going to miss you so damn much.”

  “I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

  “Come back to me.”

  With a kiss over my heart she says words that I’ll hold on to until she’s in my arms again.

  “Always.”

  Chapter 26

  Amanda

  When Christopher and I talked with our captain about staking out Mr. Abruzzi’s pizza shop and keeping a closer eye on the Flannery family, we thought we’d be able to get what we needed in a few weeks.

  Oh, how wrong we were.

  We are now going on a month, but the light is at the end of the tunnel. Well, it is as long as the Flannerys stay on their schedule.

  When Mr. Abruzzi mentioned Wednesdays specifically, I had no clue what we would find. If it was just a bunch of guys going into a restaurant to play poker, well there wasn’t anything I could really do about that.

  That first Wednesday we didn’t see anything, just a few guys going in and out after hours. The crew we had watching the Flannerys also reported nothing much going on. I thought this case was going to be over before it even started.

  Then came Thursday. That’s when we knew that we were here for a reason. And when we knew a few weeks wasn’t going to be enough.

  Young girls, likely in their teens, were walking in with the nondescript men as Mario Abruzzi watched the door, letting people in and out. The men were coming and going. The girls didn’t leave until the morning, looking worse for wear.

  I didn’t know what it was. A prostitution ring? Underage pornography? Both? I wasn’t sure. But I knew without a doubt that we needed to break it up, and fast, before any more girls were taken advantage of.

  The problem was that after that Thursday, we didn’t see them again for another three days. Then we realized the pattern. Every third night is when this would happen, keeping the days of the week scattered enough to throw off a stench, but enough to keep the money flowing in for whatever was going on inside.