Neither of us say anything, just standing taking each other in for the first time in months. I don’t know what it is about her, but she looks different. Don’t get me wrong, she’s still gorgeous. But her face is different. Fuller maybe? And there… there is just something about her that’s making her face glow like I’ve never seen it before.
“Are either of you going to talk or are you just going to stand there?” The man asks, looking back and forth between the two of us.
“I… I’ll go. I didn’t know you’d be with someone. I… just know I’m sorry. I hope you are happy now.”
As I turn to walk away the guy lets out a hearty laugh. When I turn to look back at him, he’s nearly keeled over.
“You think?... Her and I?” his laughter continues. “Dude. I’m her partner. Christopher. Did you not tell him about me? Damn O’Donald. Make a guy feel like shit why don’t you?”
Holy shit… this is Christopher?
Amanda told me about her partner. She told me they had come up in the academy together. She told me that outside of our group of friends, this was the man she trusted the most with her life.
She also told me he was very, very gay and happily coupled with the love of his life.
But in all the months that we were together, I had never seen a picture of him.
He must be able to read all of my thoughts because he laughs, gives Amanda a kiss on the cheek before walking out, telling us before he left to “work our shit out… or else.” As he closes the door behind me, I realize that Amanda hasn’t moved an inch since she first saw me.
“Can we… can we talk?”
“Yes, but I need to know something before we start.”
“Anything. You can ask me anything right now.”
She takes a breath, bracing for what I’m not sure.
“Why are you here?”
It wasn’t the question I was expecting, but one I’m glad to answer just the same.
“I’m here because I’m an idiot. I’m here because I miss you. I’m here because I was wrong. So, so wrong. I’m here to make this right. I’m here because I love you.”
“Why now?”
This question I was prepared for. “Because I’m about five months too late in saying this. I… God I was such an idiot. I was shocked by the events and I couldn’t see straight. But then… Aiden. I saw Aiden. He told me what you had done for him. He told me what an idiot I was. More than a few times. That was the smack over the head that I needed. And I wanted to apologize then. I promise you I did… but then… I saw you outside your building with Christopher. I didn’t know what he looked like. I thought… I thought you had moved on. I thought I missed my chance. And then…”
“An old man started bugging you a few days ago?”
“Yeah… how did you know?”
She laughs turning to walk to her couch, and I swear, it’s the most beautiful sound I have ever heard. “Call it a hunch.”
When I take her profile in, it’s only then I notice something about her. She’s… rounder? Amanda was always so toned in her stomach.
Wait… is that... no... it can’t be.
“Amanda? Is there something you want to tell me?”
She sits down, and that’s when I see it. It’s not anything you can hide, despite how big her sweatshirt is.
“Yeah. There is. I have another secret.”
Chapter 45
Amanda
I imagined a million times how I would one day tell Ben about the baby. Some of the daydreams were that it happened when I was still pregnant. Some of them after the nugget was born.
None of them were in my apartment after he pleaded for my forgiveness and realized I was pregnant because he could see my bump.
Ben, who I don’t think has blinked in a solid minute, takes a seat next to me on the couch. I know I have to start, because it will be likely a few minutes before he can speak again.
“I know that you’re probably thinking that this is another huge secret that I didn’t tell you. And you would be right. But not because I didn’t want to. I promise you I didn’t figure it out until after we broke up. And I’ll admit it took me a few days to even reach out and send you the message asking to talk. But then you never responded and I took that as my answer.”
I take a breath, which is more than I can say for the father of my child right now.
“I know I should have tried harder. I should have come to you in person. But I… we were over. You didn’t want to see me. You hated me. You didn’t respond to my text. The thought of you rejecting me again, and our baby, was too much for me to handle. So I’m sorry. I am so, so sorry.”
Ben is still quiet, and I’d think he was in a coma if it weren’t for the small movement of his hand, which he is now gently placing on my bump.
“Our baby.” His words come out as a whisper, but they pack the same punch as if he were to have yelled it from the top of his lungs.
I nod, fighting tears that I’m surprised are now just coming. “Yes. Our baby.”
Like the nugget knows we are talking about it, a kick hits my side, which makes Ben jump a bit.
“Was that?”
“Yeah… that was the nugget. It kicks a lot.”
“It? Don’t you know what you’re… we’re having?”
“No. Apparently it is already as stubborn as its parents. Every time I go to the doctor they can’t get a clear picture.”
I ignore that he used the words “we.” I don’t want to ruin this moment. It’s everything I could have hoped for and what I have been wishing for these past five months.
“Amanda, I am so sorry I haven’t been here. I’m sorry I let my anger alter the reality of our situation. I’m sorry I didn’t give you a real chance to explain. I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner. I’m… I’m just so damn sorry.” He takes my hand and places his lips to my knuckles, and I forgot how much I missed his lips against any part of my skin. “Can you… will you forgive me?”
I don’t need any time to think about my answer.
“I do Ben. I do. But… I need to apologize as well.”
“What do you have to apologize for? I’m the idiot.”
“Well yes, you were quite the idiot, but I wasn’t free and clear. I should have told you sooner about Aiden. I should have tried harder to find you when I knew I was pregnant. I promise, I will never keep anything from you ever again… that is… that is if you still want me.”
I know he came here with the intention of asking for my forgiveness, or at least, that’s what I gathered from his earlier speech. But that’s before he found out I was pregnant.
“I still want you?” He moves a little closer to me, still holding my hands. “All I want is you Amanda. And… we are having a baby! I didn’t even know if you’d listen to me when I came here. I was convinced you’d kick my ass out. That I had missed my chance to ask for forgiveness… that I was too late to make us right. But this… right here… I want nothing more than you, and our baby, forever.”
And with that, neither of us can take it anymore. Our lips crash together in a kiss months in the making. I can feel the tears against our faces, hitting our lips, the saltiness mixing with the sweetness that is Ben’s lips against mine. I know some are happy tears. Some are tears of sadness for the time lost. But none of that matters now. All that matters is that we are back together.
And that we are going to be a family.
I know we have more to talk about, that I should stop this and make sure that we have everything in the open before we go down this road again, but I don’t dare stop him as he lays me back on the couch, his mouth now travelling down my neck, over my aching breasts, and before I know it, he has my sweatshirt lifted up, placing soft kisses on my bulging stomach.
I don’t even try to contain my emotion at the sight. Looking down at Ben as he shows his love to me and our baby, it’s something that I didn’t wish for, because I didn’t think I would have it.
But here it is, and it’s more than
I could have ever asked for.
“Hey there baby. It’s me… your daddy.” That one simple word brings on a whole new round of tears for both of us, but Ben recovers quicker than I do. “I’m… I’m so sorry that I haven’t been here for you and your mom. I will never be away from you both again. I can’t wait to meet you. And to teach you to play chess. And to teach you to swing a golf club. But most importantly, I can’t wait to tell you how amazing your mom is.”
I sit up, bringing his face up to mine, and place a soft kiss to his lips.
“Enough apologizing,” I say, touching my forehead to his. “Take me to bed. Make love to me.”
Chapter 46
Ben
It’s been five months since I’ve been with Amanda, but I swear it feels like five years. Everything about her is different, and in the best possible way.
By the time we made it to her bedroom, we were nearly naked, shedding clothes in between kisses and leaving a scattered trail from her living room.
As I walk backward, I don’t realize that I’m nearing her bed until I feel it behind my knees, causing me to sit and look at her standing in front of me.
Naked except for a pair of boyshort panties, Amanda stands before me looking more beautiful than I have ever seen her. I reach for her, bringing her to stand in between my legs, which puts me eye level at her growing stomach -- which is carrying my child.
I have never thought of myself as much of an alpha. I’ve never had anything that I’d classify as a primal urge. But right now, as the woman I love stands before me with a belly that is carrying my child, I feel downright caveman.
I lean in, placing kisses along her rounded stomach. I’ve missed so much already. I vow to myself right here and now, I will never miss a moment of Amanda’s, or my child's life.
And to think I almost did, that I could have missed so much more before because I was a stubborn idiot.
I feel Amanda’s hands cupping my face, turning it up to look at her.
“Are you just going to kiss my stomach? Because if that’s all you plan on doing than can I lay down for that?”
Her question is laced with a bit of snark, and I forgot how much I loved this playful, sassy side to Amanda. One that not many people ever know.
“Well now that you mention it, I probably should reacquaint myself with the other parts of you I missed so much.”
And I do. I lay her down on her bed and make sure my mouth doesn’t miss an inch on her beautiful, and subtly different, body. I begin at her lips, kissing them with everything in me because I have missed being able to do it whenever I wanted to. I move down to her chest, and holy shit, her tits are now fuller, more luscious than they were before. I have to make myself move on because I could feast on them all day.
And I will. Later. But my next stop is one I’ve missed the most.
My mouth finds its way down to her pussy, and I do what most men would do when they’ve gone without for months at a time. I feast. I lick, suck and lavish her, causing her to grip my hair and explode beneath me in a matter of minutes.
Placing one last kiss on her wet center, I kiss my way back up her body, loving once more every old and new curve that is blessing this woman who I get to call mine.
Suddenly I realize that I’m about to make love to my very pregnant girlfriend. “Is there… is there anything I need to know?”
She laughs, brushing hair away from my forehead.
“Well it’s not like I’ve had it since I discovered the nugget’s existence. But the doctor said it was fine.”
That’s all I need to hear. I line my aching cock to her center and push in, and now, after five long months away, I feel like I’m home.
“I love you,” I whisper as I slowly work in and out of her, wanting to feel every inch as we reacquaint ourselves.
“I love you Ben. So much.”
Those are the last words that are said between us for I don’t know how long. We don’t need words, we are telling each other everything we need to know with our bodies. How much we love each other. How much we have missed each other. How much we need each other.
How we will never be apart again.
Don’t ask me to explain it, because even with a gun to my head, I swear pregnancy sex is different. Maybe it’s the knowledge that we are bringing a life to the world? Maybe it’s combined with the fact that we’ve been apart so long? I don’t know. But this time might be the best time we’ve ever had together. And that’s saying something.
Our pace increases and Amanda rolls me over, situating herself on top of me, and holy shit, the sight of her riding me, her swollen stomach in my eyeline, is enough to make me come right then and there.
The vision before me has me grabbing her hips, thrusting into her with everything I have. For a second, I worried that I’m being too rough with her, but then I see the look in her eye and I know not only am I not being too rough, but that she loves it.
“Yes Ben. Fuck me. I want to feel you. I need to feel you.”
Her words urge me on and I do as I’m told. She meets my thrusts that are now at a frantic pace and I feel the second her pussy clenches, because the feeling goes straight through me.
“Now Amanda. Come now.”
Her body responds and mine follows suit, both of us feeling an orgasm that would register on Richter scales.
Amanda collapses onto my chest and my arms instinctively wrap around her. Neither of us make a move to get up, and I don’t think either of us care.
“I missed you… so much.” Her words come out in a whisper. “Please, never again.”
I tilt my head down to place a kiss on her forehead, knowing that she’ll never have to worry about that for as long as we live.
“Never again baby. Never again.”
Chapter 50
Amanda
Ben and I aren’t even two steps inside the bar when Tori bombards both of us. Literally.
“Thank Christ you two are back together. This whole talking to you two, without letting you both know I was talking to you, while one of you was flipping pregnant, was fucking exhausting. Do you know how hard it was for me keeping that big of a secret? But I did it. Kalum didn’t think I could. You both owe me so big. I think you should name your child after me.”
We both laugh, Ben squeezing me in a bit closer to him. I swear since he came back into my life a week ago, there hasn’t been more than a few minutes that some part of time is not touching me.
“Maybe a middle name. But I don’t want to explain to my child one day why it has the same name as its crazy Aunt Tori.”
“Whatever Benjamin Alexander. Your child will love me and I will be the best auntie ever.”
“Well maybe we’ll let you have the middle name so you know my child’s, considering you still haven’t guessed mine.”
With a frustrated sigh Tori walks away, but not without first giving us each hugs and a kiss on the cheek.
This is the first time we are seeing everyone since Ben and I reconciled. Apparently when we are apart for a healthy amount of time, we tend to cocoon ourselves for the next several days.
I hope we never have to do it again.
It’s been a week since he came back to me. A week since we’ve made up. A week since we’ve put our past behind us. A week since we decided that it’s nothing but forward for us, and our baby.
A baby that we’re finally about to figure out the gender of.
I don’t know if a bar is an appropriate place for a gender reveal party, but here we are. In our defense, it’s in the afternoon, so it wasn’t as weird when Scarlett and Maverick brought Grant and Evan. We would have normally done it at their house but apparently Maverick decided this was a great week to do some remodeling projects. Plus, there are a few extra guests today. My dad is here, now chatting away with Jaxson, and Ben’s parents, and Aiden, made the trip in. It’s everyone in the same room I’d want to share this moment with.
My friends and family… they are good people. The best kind of
people. And now they are going to be the ones who help me finally find out if our newest addition is a boy or a girl.
“Alright are we ready to do this? I have my money on a boy,” Kalum says, sliding onto a stool next to Tori.
“We don’t need another boy in this bunch,” Scarlett says, strapping Evan in his high chair. “But, that would mean I can pass down all of the boy toys to you.”
“What? No more kids?” Maverick says with a smirk as he drags a very unhappy Grant away from the video games.
The look Scarlett shoots him is hilarious, well for us. Maybe not Maverick.
“Whatever you have, just know that it will be loved and cherished.”
“Oh quit it Annabelle. Put your money in the pot. Make a guess. Mama needs a new pair of shoes.”
Tori, who won’t stop staring at Annabelle until she puts her money and her guess into the center of the table, has decided that there should be monetary winners and losers in this gender reveal. Each person is putting $20 in the pot with a guess. Winners split the money. No one knows yet, including Ben and I, as we asked the doctor to put it in an envelope that we gave immediately to the baker who made us a cake that is either blue or pink inside.
Tori said that was a lame way to do it. I threatened she didn’t get to eat cake. Gender cake won.
I’m still thinking it’s a boy. Ben decided to go for a girl just to be different. In reality, neither of us care. The fact that we are together, bringing a life into this world and have our future to look forward to is enough for us.
We’ve talked about marriage, which again was a foreign concept for me, having really never given the topic much thought before Ben came into my life. We’ve agreed to wait until after nugget is born and we are settled into our lives. Neither of us are going anywhere. That we know for certain.
An hour later, after we finished our meals and our plates were cleared, Ben and I looked at each other with a smile. There was only one thing left to do.
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