“Marc?” Jacine said.
“Jacine, this is highly confidential. If you do this, I have no doubt that you will be rewarded heavily.”
“I’m listening.”
“The hunter needs your protection.”
“The hunter?” She frowned. “What’s so special about him?”
“He’s the Queen’s enforcer, reborn.”
For a moment, Jacine’s eyes looked inwards as she tried to make the relevant connections. When she caught Marc’s eyes, her own were glistening. “Oh my gods, he’s alive.”
“Exactly. You can see how protecting him and following his orders will please the Queen.”
Her hand fluttered to her throat. “Yes. I know more than anyone what that relationship meant.”
I had no doubt she spoke the truth. I could see it in her aura and knew she’d always been able to sense the emotions related to love, but I didn’t give two-hoots about that love. I only wanted Sephie protected, and this was the best way to do it.
“You follow his orders, no matter what, yes?”
“You can trust me with his life.”
I stood silent for a minute and studied her energy. At the time of her words, she meant it. That was the best I was able to do.
“Good. I’m also reinstating your status to the Tribunal. You won’t just be a member, but a leader. You’ll have sway. And-ah… you won’t need me to think about you-know-what anymore, yeah?”
Her eyes widened, and she looked away. I couldn’t be sure but I thought I saw a tear in her eye.
“Jacine, you don’t still want me to…”
She sighed. “Marc, it’s just that I’m done with this false life. And I want to start a family. A real one, not a soulless one that get’s used up for this stupid Game.”
“Well, you know who to blame for that, don’t you?”
“Yes.” The malice in her eyes was clear.
“Bloody tosser Prince. Maybe start the process in uncovering his whereabouts too.”
I considered sharing Eve’s news about his demise, but held it in. The Prince. Urser. Both bloody the same. Instead, I placed a palm against the back of her warm neck and kissed the top of her head.
Silently she nodded. “Right. These have been weighed. You can start here. When you come back, I’ll have the team get another lot ready before I go.”
“Cheers, love.”
“I’ll see you when you get back.”
I stepped through the in-between and within moments arrived somewhere in Tasmania, Australia. My feet formed in the icy water of the ocean, and as I walked through the water toward the shore, the crisp night air tickled my skin. I didn’t need to look up to see the sky was awash with the floating green and magenta lights of the Aurora Australis. My skin lit up with phosphorescence, reflected from the sky above and the calm waters below. The last time I had been here was with the Queen on the night I returned her to the Empire.
The ghosts of my past rose swiftly to remind him of how cowardly I’d behaved been back then. I could still hear the devastation in her long keening wail as she splashed around the icy waters, wanting desperately to get back. She’d pounded her fists on my chest, she’d screamed obscenities at me, she even used her power on me but I’d shifted to another spot every time. Wordlessly, I’d taken her fury because that’s all I knew to do. Just like when we were young, and she’d heard about her betrothal to the ruthless man who one day became King, and father of her son. Then after suffering countless years under the tyrant, he was assassinated. She finally found happiness with her hunter. This planet was her chance at a fresh start. Instead of wallowing in self-pity, she funneled her resources into creating life. Pity her son didn’t feel the same. The darkness had tainted his soul.
The entire debacle was a travesty.
Especially what the Prince had done to the innocent here on Earth. In one day—one hour!—she’d lost her family, her creations, and her new love. She lost it all to her only son. When I took her home to the Empire, I knew the hunter would unleash his devil inside to stop the darkness from spreading, even if it cost him his life. The Queen stood on those shores giving me everything she had because she knew she would never see her hunter again.
I watched her rage. I knew nothing else to do, but to let her come at me. Everyone envied me when my ability to teleport evolved into existence. They said I must be doing something right for the Universe to reward me so. But I knew the truth. All those years in my childhood where I raced Sephie, watching her ponytail fly before me, an inch away. I never caught up because I wanted to lose. To fade. I’d gotten these powers because they helped me run away.
Now I was doing penance for my cowardice: endless trips between the Empire and Earth, carrying the souls of delegates, holding their lives in my hands. One slip wrong and I’d be responsible for the loss of lives so fundamental that I’d devolve like the Soul-Eaters did. I’d lose the advantage I’d clawed back from working tirelessly on this planet.
I checked my reflection in the water. Gone was my Hollywood smile, my skintight threads, and cocky gleam in my eye. My hair was disheveled, and I saw not a god, but a simple man, afraid and alone. Simple, like the Simons. A small wave breached my reflection and warped my mirror image into something unrecognizable.
I held up my collection of tiny glass baubles then glanced up at the wavering green sky. The Aurora’s beauty held more than an aesthetic delight for me. The recent solar storm had injected enough plasma into the atmosphere and the charged atoms were ready to boost me forward—home.
Cash
The town car pulled into the driveway of my family’s old plantation home. It was heritage listed and situated on fifty acres of sprawling meadows with peach and magnolia trees. Since we’d dropped James off at the clinic and called the orphanage, Roo had given me the cold shoulder. She was retreating into herself. That was fine. I didn’t need her to like me to keep her safe.
I paid the driver while Roo stood staring up at the majestic white oak doors, painted pink in the sunset. The door opened and out ran a small boy with golden ringlets, wearing a Transformer costume.
“Tommy!” the boy cried as he zoomed passed Roo and bowled into me with an oomph!
“No, buddy. It’s Cash.” I bent down and pulled the boy in for a hug.
“You wanna play with me? I got another costume inside, let’s go!”
I grinned, kids were resilient as ever.
“I need to go and say hi to ma, is she inside? Roo here might play with you.”
I enjoyed the sight of Roo flashing her heart stopping smile at the kid. Pity it wasn’t aimed at me.
“Hey, I’m Roo. What’s your name?”
The boy cowered behind my legs.
“It’s okay Augustus, she won’t bite.”
Augustus squinted at her like a pirate. “She won’t, but the others might.”
I caught the stammer in Roo’s pulse as she reacted to the boy’s words. Strange. As though she was nervous about his words.
“I can promise you, Augustus, nobody here will bite you,” Roo said.
Augustus smiled and stepped out. “I turned five. I have new shoes. Do you want to see?”
“Sugar! You’re finally here.” My mother appeared at the door frame and upon seeing her new arrivals, rushed out the door. With tears in her eyes, she made a bee-line for me and pulled my body into a crushing embrace, then hastily apologized for the flour she’d dusted over me from her apron. I thought for a moment she’d gone gray, but realized it was the flour in her blonde hair giving her a weathered look.
“Oh Cash, it’s been too long. Too long. I’m so glad you’re home.”
“I’m sorry we missed the funeral, ma.”
“Sugar, I understand,” she said in a knowing voice. She tightened her embrace, and it brought tears to my eyes. This woman, this earthly mother had showed no bounds in the depths of her understanding. My heart swelled, and for the second time in my life, I thought this must be what love felt like. I’d been
a fool to avoid it.
I pulled away and looked at Roo. My mother lifted her wire rimmed glasses and wiped her eyes then turned to her, too.
“Oh my stars, this fine young lady must be Miss. Urser. Well, if I live and breathe. I never guessed how pretty you were when we spoke on the phone. The video call didn’t do you justice. You might not recognize me, all covered in flour, but I’m Betsy. Well, don’t just stand there, sugar, come on in and give me a hug, and then let’s get out of this cold.” Roo blushed, and they embraced.
While she probably thought I couldn’t hear, my mother said, “Tommy’s told me so much about you and I’m so blessed for you looking out for my sons.”
“But…” Roo said, her voice trailing off. My own throat tightened. I knew what she was thinking. Tommy. She hadn’t looked after him at all, but, she had. I rubbed the pain in my chest away. She’d made me whole.
“Don’t start,” my mother warned Roo. “I know as much as anyone that the good Lord has taken the control of some things out of our hands. All we can do is our best with what we’ve got.”
I knew they’d spoken a few times over the phone, but I was unprepared for how familiar they both were around each other. They traded news about nothing for a second before my mother shooed her youngest.
“Augustus go and tell your father that Cash is here.”
Augustus grabbed Roo’s hand and spirited her away.
Betsy turned and slapped me on the cheek. Hard. Her face wilted as the resounding crack echoed in the air. “That’s for Tommy.”
There was nobody in the world who could make me cower, except this woman. She was a little on the plump side, had clothes covered in flour, yet she could cut me down with one look. I bit my lip at the reprimand and avoided eye contact. I deserved it. She tilted my chin, so I looked down into her tearful eyes.
“Now, not another word about it or else I’ll fall apart. I know it wasn’t your fault, but goddamn it, son, I’m still devastated.”
“I know, ma, I’m—”
“I said not another word. Let’s remember Tommy fondly. It’s all I can do to keep it together. I made his favorite stew. Let’s go.”
Braised Lamb. Delicious.
She slipped her arm through mine and pulled me towards the house, and stage whispered. “You didn’t tell me how gorgeous she was. It’s about time you brought a girl home, honey. It’s just a pity it had to take dire circumstances for you to do it.”
“It’s not like that, ma. We’re just friends.” Hopefully. Maybe. I didn’t know anymore.
“Don’t be silly. I may be going blind but I can still see the way you look at her when you think she’s not watching, and she you. Well c’mon, we’d better get going or else this braised lamb will up itself and walk out the kitchen.”
I smiled tightly and followed her into the enormous Bed and Breakfast converted home. I thought I would feel less attached to my birth family with all the past lives crammed into my mind, but I felt the same. That warmth spreading from my chest was surely affection.
“Now, I vacated the premises for the weekend, so you can both stay in the guest room upstairs, and—oh, Ray, look who’s here!”
I shook my stepfather’s soft hand and couldn’t help drawing the comparison between my biological father. Where Ray was round and gentle, my father had been tall and solid. Weathered from hard work.
“Howdy Cash, didn’t think you’d be back.” The insinuation was there. My mother may have forgiven me for missing the funeral, but Ray hadn’t. I didn’t blame him.
“We had a boat load of people through after the funeral. I’d appreciate a hand to move some downstairs furniture around,” Betsy added to me.
I spent the evening helping Ray shift the furniture in the downstairs living room while Roo spent time with my mother, setting the rest of the house in order.
While I worked, I couldn’t help thinking about Roo’s indifference towards me. It was more uncomfortable than anger. At least if she’d yelled or screamed, I would know she felt something. At this rate, I worried she was just going through the motions until we left the next evening for Australia. Back to the Sydney Ludus, her father, and the trials.
After dinner, I stood in the hallway outside Roo’s room. I took a deep breath and held it. I didn’t know what sort of reception I’d find inside. Her countenance towards me over the meal had been frosty to say the least. She’d responded to my questions with short, polite answers but otherwise engaged in joyful chit-chat with my mother. The contrast was obvious. My mother had given me a curious sideways glance more than once.
But I’d taken it in my stride. I hadn’t been deterred. Even when Augustus announced he was ready for bed and Ray jumped at the chance to read a bed time story, leaving only the three of us sitting awkwardly at the table. When the two women got up to clear the mess, I helped. When they started stacking the dishwasher, I helped too. And after everything was spick-and-span, we retired to the sitting room with a pot of tea. My mother had raised her eyebrows at me as she and Roo sat opposite each other on the two-seater settee. I took the hint. Three’s a crowd. I retired to my room to shower and dress for bed.
I found our luggage sitting on my king-sized bed. Ray had obviously assumed we’d be staying together.
Roo wouldn’t like that.
I swiftly checked the room opposite mine and found it empty. A large, four-poster antique bed sat in the middle, opposite a flat screen television. A matching antique desk and settee sat in front of a window that overlooked the moonlit peach orchard. I put Roo’s bag on the bed and flicked on the lights, dimming them until a nice ambience was felt. Then I turned the heating on.
That was thirty minutes ago. I was now washed and dressed in casual sweat pants and a T-shirt, standing alone in the hallway between our rooms. My bare feet flexed on the plush carpet and I could hear the sound of the television, so she was definitely awake.
My pulse skipped a beat at the sound of her feet hitting the floor and walking toward the door. She knew I was here. Quickly, I raised my hand to knock.
A click on the other side meant she had previously locked the door and now unlocked it. The sound of her steps grew fainter as she went back to the bed. What did that mean? I tested the door knob, half expecting it to be locked. The door opened, and I let myself in.
Roo reclined on the bed, half under the covers with the flickering light from the TV illuminating her face. She wore a long-sleeved T-shirt, or something like that on her top half.
“Hi,” I said.
“Hi yourself.”
“Okay, listen, can I come in?”
She shrugged.
“What are you watching?”
“You wouldn’t like it.”
“I might.”
“Suit yourself.”
I stepped into the room and closed the door behind me for privacy. I felt ungraceful and as though I didn’t belong, yet I didn’t want to leave and I didn’t know what to do with my hands. They wanted to reach out and touch her, but I held back. Instead, I stood next to her bed. My heart beat loudly over the sound of the TV. Hers was soft and steady. She folded her arms. Awkward. That must be what this emotion was.
Finally, after a long sigh I said, “I just wanted to say I’m sorry for earlier.” Her snort was my only response. “And I want you to know I’m not going to leave.”
Air rushed out of her nostrils so fast they flared. She shook her head. “I don’t know how you expect me to trust you.”
“Can I sit?”
She answered by shifting to one side of the bed without taking her eyes off the screen.
“Honestly, I don’t deserve your trust, but I’m not going to leave.” I sat down on the edge of the bed. When Roo’s folded arms tightened until she hugged herself and leaned away, my heart broke. I did that. My lies had put a wall between us where only a day ago, there had been none. But fuck it. I would tear that wall down if it was the last thing I did.
“I’m not going anywhere. Not until… u
ntil—”
“Until what, you die?”
“Yes.”
The flickering light highlighted her newly glistening eyes, her pulse quickened.
“I can’t even…” she sighed. “I can’t talk to you right now, I’m sorry. I need to think. Can you please go?”
I swallowed heavily and stood.
“I’ll go to the other room. But I’m not leaving you.”
“Yeah, yeah. I get it.”
Her coldness turned the blood in my veins to ice.
Cash
I sank into a heavy, fitful sleep that night. I dreamed often. Some was of a past earthly life, some were snatches of time before I came to the planet. But one dream, the one that kept repeating, was of the night I split my soul.
It was just after Marc had taken the Queen back to the Empire, and I had been using the flaming swords Marc spoke about. Maybe I imagined them, but maybe not. They were a scorching extension of each hand and I used them to cut down anybody that smelled necrotic.
They say you don’t dream in sound, or smell, but I did. I always did. I heard their screams rip through time as clearly as if it happened right now. I smelled the rotting flesh as though it were next to me in the room. I remembered plowing through a field of bodies, unleashing my inner rage like a wave of destruction at anything moving in my way. I hated the killing. I resented it. If she had taken my word at the beginning, I would never have been in that position.
Somewhere behind me was the Prince, creating more dark creatures to replace the ones I cut down. When he ran out of humans, he turned to the soldiers. My friends. My comrades. The pioneer Seraphim left on the planet had come out of their simple houses, stumbling, shocked at what was happening. I would roar at them. Hurry, stop them. Help. But half the Seraphim weren’t warriors, they were alchemists, cartographers, anthropologists. They didn’t know what to do when their trusted soldiers turned on them in a black gritty terror. It was different with infected Seraphim, they weren’t so beastly, but dangerous all the more. Harder to kill.
The Game of Gods: Series Box Set Page 45