“Knowledge is Power, of course. Urser is the bear, but I don’t have anything with that emblem on.”
“Victoria aut mors.” Her face turned grave. “That’s your motto.”
“Victory or Death.” I stuck out my tongue. “Ridiculous, right?”
“Shh.” She shushed me, but giggled all the same.
I laughed too and felt lighter knowing I made a friend in this horrid place.
“You should hear Eridanus House’s motto.” She leaned in and whispered: “Semper Virilis.”
“Always virile?”
“When you meet them, you’ll understand.”
“I’m La Roux,” I said. “But my friends call me Roo.”
“Nice to meet you, La Roux.” She shifted the book to one arm and held out the other.
“Please, call me Roo.”
That made her dip her head, but I caught the smile on her face when she let go of my hand.
“So, what was it specifically that you wanted to know? Because we also have an electronic catalog. There could be some direction in there.”
I hesitated for a while. Too long, in fact, and uncertainty began to flicker on Wren’s face, but her aura remained eager and light. At some point, I’d have to take a risk, otherwise I’d never get out of here.
“I think I’m a Soul-Eater,” I stated, unable to meet her gaze. “But I don’t know for sure. It’s a bit embarrassing and I try to keep it hidden.”
She said nothing for a moment, then lowered her voice. “You’ll need another section then.”
Wren slid her book back onto the shelves and motioned for me to follow her. We stepped surreptitiously through the maze of shelves until we came to a dark corner of the depository. The cooler air caused gooseflesh to prickle my skin. Wren looked over her shoulder a few times. I gathered we were going somewhere we shouldn’t and couldn’t help the excitement dancing up my spine.
“The books on devolution and stuff we don’t talk about are here,” she whispered. The books in this section weren’t looked after as well as the first. Piles stacked high, book upon book, threatened to topple from a crowded bench.
She sighed. “This is one of my jobs, sorting these out. Now, where did I see… ah, here they are.” She pulled two books out of the stack and handed them to me with pity.
The heavy items sank into my arms. “Thanks.”
“If I could be so bold as to say, just because you’re a Soul-Eater, doesn’t mean you have to behave the way they say you should. Just because you’re Urser, doesn’t mean you need to stay.”
“Easier said than done. I feel like I’m fighting a losing battle sometimes. Nobody is helping me out. Except Cash, but he’s being blocked by my father. I suddenly have a few days in which to learn years of Game theory, and all I can think about is getting these irritating souls out of me so I can finally think straight. I don’t like that part of me.”
“I understand.” She nodded and pulled back the collar of her robe to reveal the star-map covering her décolletage. “This map means I’m in Cetus House, and everyone from that territory are super smart. It’s like a world built on ideas. Cetus is where the original scientists came from. You know, the ones who made the humans for the Queen? But, here’s the thing, I don’t enjoy being here. I want to live outdoors and…” She halted, catching herself in a moment of forbidden truth.
“It’s okay, I won’t tell anyone.”
“I can talk to animals. Well, it’s more like me talking and them understanding, they’re not that smart,” she said. “It’s torture being made to stay within these walls. I feel blocked and stifled. So many rules and stupid caveats. If only I were more like the other members of my house, especially my brother.”
“So he doesn’t have your skills?”
“No, he’s from Cetus. He understands how anything works, just by being near it long enough. It’s uncanny; I’ve seen him reprogram a computer with no knowledge of coding skills and pull apart an engine then put it back together. He’s always got his nose buried in a book, or the web.”
“Sounds like the kind of guy I’d get along with.”
“He’s great. But I’m different. As soon as I pass my trials, I’m going out there into the wild and never coming back.”
“Good idea.”
“Really?”
“Of course. I might be new here, but I’m the first to admit that I think the whole game is ridiculous.”
She gave me a sidelong glance. “But we’re born for this. Literally. We have responsibilities. At some point in our old Empire life, we put up our hand to be part of this. Don’t you think we owe it to that other self to try our hardest? I mean, we’re going to be pissed if we get back to the Empire and find out that we stuffed our evolution because we didn’t do as we were told.”
I shrugged. “So they tell us. I don’t know if I believe them. What do we have instincts for if not to trust them? Maybe rules are made to be broken.”
Wren’s eyes glazed over. “Sometimes I wonder the same thing. Why was I put in Cetus House when I clearly should’ve been in something else? Kind of like Ava. She’s not meant to be in Epsilon House, but she is. There’s an explanation for her, though.”
“Ava? I don’t know who Ava is, but I agree. This game isn’t perfect.” The second I said her name, I had a moment of déjà vu. Maybe I knew her.
At that moment, a shadow passed at the end of the bookshelf. We both flinched and glanced over just in time to catch a body do a double take. A head pop backwards to inspect us.
Cash.
His body followed his head. When he stood at the end of the row, hands on hips, I got a good snapshot of his sinful physique. His thin T-shirt stretched across his broad chest and firm biceps. It was hard not to stare at that body. Lucky for me, I could stare all day and he had no idea it was me looking like this.
Wren glanced at him with female admiration flashing in her eyes. A stab of jealousy ran through me when I realized I didn’t like her, or anyone looking at him with the same knowing appreciation.
Cash sniffed the air in my direction. His fiery eyes locked on mine and relaxed.
“There you are,” he said and let his eyes run over Wren suspiciously before coming back with a frown. “Why do you look like that?”
“You can tell it’s me too?” I threw my hands in the air. “Why do I even bother with a disguise?”
“I know your scent.” Something about his words had me weak at the knees. He’d committed my scent to memory. “But, you may as well drop it,” he continued. “We need to get back to training. I’m taking over your session. We have to do physical and strategy at the same time to catch up with everything you’ve missed over the past few years.” His mouth twitched. “Also, you’ve left Squid in a bind.”
“I don’t care about him. And, and—” Damn it. I swallowed hard and cleared my throat, gathering my decorum.
“He’s not your mentor. We’ve had the ritual. There’s no going back. You should’ve waited for me at the arena.”
“I didn’t know you were coming! In fact, I knew nothing. They weren’t doing anything to help with my training. I don’t have time to wait around for other people to fix things for me, especially when deals are being made to auction me off as a stupid breeding animal. No offense, Wren. I like animals. Especially baby joeys.”
“None taken.”
Cash’s impassive face focused on me, but he didn’t waver. “As your mentor, I’m asking you, please, revert to your original appearance and join me back on the mat for training.”
Impassively, he folded his arms, biceps bulging.
There was no use fighting when I knew he was right; I needed his help to pass the trials. The alternative was spending hours here scouring for books that might not exist. I focused inwards and reverted my physical appearance to its natural state. Fire ants erupted over my skin. I welcomed the distracting sensations. My body shivered and shook until I couldn’t stand it and dipped my head, dark hair falling across my face.
Through the frizz, I could see Cash step forward, concerned.
But I held my hand up to block him. I didn’t think he realized I could see his expression through the cascade of my hair because he let worry shine through, and you only worried about those you cared for. That little show of emotion shining through meant he had been telling the truth about wanting to stick around. I bit my lip and moved my gaze to my feet until my hair smoothed out from its frizz and dropped in length. The tingling in my body ceased, and I straightened. It felt as though I’d been sitting for a long time, and my skin felt tight and rigid, so I stretched and cracked my neck.
Wren sighed and fiddled with her pixie short hair. “I wish I could do that.”
I smiled at her. “Change your hair?”
“Yeah, I hate this blond, that’s why I cut it short.”
“You know I can help with that,” I said with a smirk.
“Roo,” Cash stated. He wasn’t giving up.
“Fine. I’m coming.” I gave the books back to Wren. “Thank you, I’ll be back for those another time. Unless I can take them with me?”
“Not really, but the depository is open twenty-four hours a day,” she said.
“Excellent. Maybe I can help you some other time with your hair.”
“I’d like that.”
I memorized the area so I could find my way back and continue my search for soul information. After the blackout I experienced last night, I couldn’t afford to ignore The Others any longer.
Chapter 11
As we walked back to the training area, I stole a peek at Cash when I thought he wasn’t looking. It was impossible to ignore him. Even if his aura hid from me, his presence couldn’t. He made it hard to breathe simply by being there. Awareness itched at me, always there, begging for attention.
He was there.
Next to me.
Inches away, ready to touch.
I groaned. Going my separate way was harder than I thought, especially when every fiber of my being wanted to be near him. I missed him already.
I stopped just before the arena entrance.
“Cash,” I started, not knowing how to finish. I wanted to put into words what my body felt, and to say I was sorry, but my throat locked up. This voicing emotions business was hard. No wonder he had trouble with it. And I was the stupid woman who chastised him for it.
He mistook my hesitance. “I’m your mentor. Nothing Urser, or his lackeys, or even you say will change that. I have every right to train you. It’s in our blood. We’re linked whether you like it or not. In fact, if it comes to it, there’s a test we can do in front of everyone to prove it. I’ve called the Tribunal in. That’s why I’m late.”
He opened the door and held it for me to enter.
In my absence, the room had filled with a throng of people and most of them were around the mat I had vacated earlier. A heavy feeling rolled in my gut. Whoops. If I had wanted to go unnoticed, I did a terrible job at it.
A loud and stinging smack on my butt brought a squeak to my lips. To my mortification, the smack evolved into a grope and squeeze on my left cheek. I turned around, fist ready to punch the offender and discovered Lincoln’s friend, Drew. He dressed in full boy band get up, complete with backwards cap. His hand was having a field day on my bottom and he tried to pull me towards himself like he owned me. “Yo, biatch. Yo’ass is so fine I just wanna—” He wiggled his eyebrows and bit his lip.
“What the hell are you doing?” I slapped his hand and took a step backwards, but his paws were still on me.
His eyes widened, and we had an awkward moment of understanding the other was not doing the expected.
“Get off.” I chopped him until he dropped his hold.
His expression turned to confusion and his brows met in the middle. He tried to cover up my rejection with a condescending smirk to Cash. “What’s her problem, yo?”
“Her problem is that she will scrape a flattened Player off her shoes in a minute.” The devil shone out of Cash’s narrowed eyes.
The kid sighed in dramatic exaggeration and gave me a pointed look. “Last night you told me to come slap yo’ass when I saw you again and then you’d give me a little somethin’-somethin’, you feel me?”
“I would never say that. That’s ridiculous. And I’m not feeling anything on you, thank you very much.”
“That’s not what she said last night.” Drew snorted and slapped Cash on the chest in a macho bonding sort of way. “She gave so good I needed to lie down afterwards. I’m still weak at the knees.”
Cash looked at his chest as though burned. Then Drew’s words sunk in. “What did he say?” he asked me through a locked jaw.
“Um…” Heat rose up my neck.
Could Lincoln have been telling the truth—had I gotten up last night and joined his party? And what the hell did “gave so good” mean? I doubted I would have voluntarily moved within two feet of that childish punk.
Drew scrubbed his face with his hand and groaned. “Yo, I got not time for this—I’ll see you later, Roo-Roo.” He slinked off, hands in his pockets, shoulders slouched.
“I don’t think so, buddy.”
Cash rounded on me as someone bumped into my shoulder to get past. The room got crowded, and we blocked the main thoroughfare into the room. He pulled me to the side and pinned me with his penetrating, dual colored stare.
“You’d rather be with him.” He lowered his accusatory voice for my ears only. “Is this your way of cutting ties with me?”
I saw red. “Are you suggesting that I had—” God, I couldn’t even say it. “That I was intimate with him?”
“Were you?”
I opened my mouth like a fish out of water, but couldn’t answer, because I didn’t know.
Did I? I asked The Others.
Silence. How convenient. They always seemed to hide when Cash was around.
Cash’s jaw ticked with the effort to keep his face impassive, but the turmoil beneath his eyes was bright as day.
“I would never…” I started, but then someone called out to us. Our attendance in the room hadn’t gone unnoticed. The people on the mat glanced in our direction, and soon the crowd parted to make way for a tall, olive skinned, silver haired young woman. She wore an Amazonian leather breastplate over a black Lycra singlet, and her pants were black Lycra with leather knee pads, thigh guards and a weapons belt wrapped around her hips. The wannabe Wonder Woman cut an imposing figure with her high cheekbones and leather bound hair. She scanned the area in front of her until her gaze landed on me, then her icy blue eyes narrowed.
“You.”
In an amateur move, I checked over my shoulder to confirm she wasn’t talking to anyone else. Then I patted my chest. “Me?”
“Yes, you idiot. What have you done to Squid?”
“He tried to stop me from leaving so I stopped him from following.”
By now she stood in front of me, face to face. Up close she wasn’t as tall as I’d thought from a distance, but imposing, all the more. She gave me a vitriolic once over.
“You’ve breached the peace terms of the Ludus.”
“Ava,” Cash interrupted. “It’s none of your business. Go back to your house mat.”
Ava? This was the same Ava who was supposed to be in this body instead of me?
She turned her fiery gaze on Cash. “It is my business, and well you know it.”
I left her and Cash to the politics and sidestepped to see to the mess I’d made. Jeez. If I had known it would cause so many problems, I would’ve thought twice about—no. No, I lied. I still would have done it. Squid was a pain in the butt. My father was also a pain in the butt. Deciding to stay with them was becoming more tiresome with time.
Think of the people on the list.
Wren. Lincoln. Cash. And they were only the names I’d recognized. No. I had to swallow my pride and stay so I could look for more evidence.
I sidestepped Ava and nudged my way through the mob to where Squid slo
uched against the wall at the edge of the training mat. Lack of oxygen had turned his skin the color of an old prune. He gasped every few seconds and squeezed a little air into his lungs. I had incorrectly assumed the airlock I placed around him would dissolve once my energy holding it left the room, but the air density was still strong. How was I going to undo that?
Squid noticed me and gave me daggers.
“Uh… sorry. I didn’t think that would hold.”
“Didn’t think that would hold?” Ava approached behind me. “What kind of second rate Player are you?”
“One who didn’t even know she was one until a few months ago,” I shot back.
She sneered. “For someone who doesn’t know much, you sure know how to ruin a lot of lives.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
Squid made a movement that brought my attention back to him. Right. I should find out how to soften the airlock. I prodded with my power until I found a weak spot. My energy fused with the hard air and poured into the weak spot. I shattered the block to the wind. Everyone standing within a few feet felt air rush their faces.
A shrill whistle sounded in the arena that captured everyone’s attention. It was everywhere at once and echoed in the round room. People scattered to various positions, seemingly in their house groups, standing to attention. I was left on the mat with Squid, Cash and Lincoln. Ava lingered nearby, not quite ready to commit to one spot.
My eyes darted across the room, trying to find a reason for sudden military-like behavior.
“Tribunal, finally,” Cash said from the corner of his mouth. “Stand next to me.”
I shuffled to his side and stood waiting for something to happen.
Two minutes later, the double door entrance opened, and a goddess with baby pink hair walked in. She dressed in a white sheath that displayed her assets, including incredible long legs. Her smooth, alabaster skin shone like she held the moon in her bones and her face was worthy of the cover of a magazine. It was the woman from the office scene in the fake window. Guess they weren’t fake windows, then.
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